Tuesday, January 29, 2008

THE SHOWGROUND -2 ©

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I spent about half an hour with Stan and John and we all had a good laugh at my expense. I spent most of the morning this way until the sideshow events opened up their stalls. There was the usual rides and fairground stalls. I blew a few dollars on the entertainment. Further around the outskirts of the showground was a large crowd of
mostly men staring up at a wooden platform outside of one of the show tents. On each side of the tent was a big metal framework which held large posters of big-busted strippers smiling down at the crowd. Stan Booth and Keven Skippy were looking up at the wooden platform waiting for something to happen.
"G'day Skippy.", I said as I approached them.
"York, ya bastard! How ya goin' mate? D'ya ride that bike of yours in today?"
"Yeah, it was a bit slippy in parts."
"Ya not right in the head, Yorky. Ya wouldn't catch me on one of those bastards in this type of weather, sport, Not on ya bloody life mate."
"What ya doing here Kevin?", I asked. "It's a striptease show isn't it?"
"Course it is mate, That's what I'm here for."
"What about ya missus?"
"She's over at the scone contest mate and I'm here at the breast contest. Look out Yorky!", he said all of a sudden. "They're coming out mate. We should git a real eye-full now!"

Monday, January 28, 2008

SHOWGROUND - 3 ©

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The sign, above the platform where the girls were walking up to, said;
FRED DUFFY PRESENTS EXOTIC STRIP TEASE
A few girls with big tits, clad only in a bikini top and long, lacy bottoms walked up onto the wooden cat walk. Fred Duffy was standing at the ticket booth with a big stick
and a microphone in his hand.
"Ladies and gentlemen, Fred Duffy proudly presents, for the first time at your local Showground, a talented group of gorgeous beauties know as THE FRENCH FOLLIES! Let's have a round of applause for 'em folks as they walk out for your entertainment and pleasure!"
"Jesus!", said Kevin to Stan. "They're a rough-looking bunch of Sheilas!"
"Yeah. They get worse every year. Last years crew were a lot better than this bunch of whores." said Stan.
"I like the blonde in the grass skirt on the end, Kevin.", I said.
"She's the best of a bad bunch, Yorky."

Fred Duffy was 'sprooking' on the microphone for all he was worth now.
"Have a good look at 'em gentlemen. Where have ya seen as lovely a bunch of ladies like this before?"
"In mi shearing shed." Yelled Stan.

Fred Duffy ignored Stans funny comment as the crowd roared with laughter.
"These are the girls of your dreams gentlemen. Not one of them over 18! Young, tender virgins, here in the flesh, just waiting for an opportunity to dance for you on the stage, inside the tent. Come on gentlemen, git your money out. Fifty cents a ticket, right over here. All right ladies, down you go before ya git cold. First to pay gets the best spot. There they go down into the tent. Follow 'em in gentlemen and we'll get this show on the road."
"Come on Skippy", said Stan. "Git ya 50 cents out mate. Your too Yorky. It's too cold standing around out here. At least it may be a bit warmer in that tent!"

Kevin, Stan and Miself were one of the first customers in the tent and Stan was right, it was much warmer inside than it was outside. It took about 10 minutes before the show started because Fred Duffy wasn't going to run a show with a half-empty tent.

A young bloke with a microphone walked out on stage and everyone booed him and said,
"Git off the stage, mate. Where's the Sheilas we paid our good money to see?"