tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-47255353001997153282024-03-13T08:23:22.932-07:00THE ADVENTURES OF YORKY, THE POMMY SHEARER ©This is an adventure into the world of Yorky. It's the 60s' in the Outback of Australia. Rich with characters that Dickens himself would have enjoyed meeting.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger102125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4725535300199715328.post-60185978423114783402022-03-30T06:52:00.003-07:002022-03-30T09:47:51.552-07:00MILDURA - JIMMY HARGRAVES<p> A decision had to be made, according to the situation. I have found out, in my life, that mans' belief in the word 'choice' is total fantasy. Whatever we are not aware of, chooses for us and each situation in life demands a correct response. When the response is correct, the problems surrounding the situation disappear. An incorrect response seems to create further problems. </p><p>My response to the lack of rain was a decision to ride my Honda 90 back down to Mildura cause at least there was some work there, even if it was difficult and not a lot of money involved.<br /><br /> Before I set off, I ran into a mate, Jimmy Hargraves, in the main street. Jimmy was a great bloke. He had a heart of gold. Nothing was too much trouble to do for a friend. Jimmy was 5'9", weighed 160 pounds and had very pleasant features.</p><p>"G'day Yorky, how ya goin' mate?", he said as I approached him.<br />"Not too bad, apart from being knackered!"<br />"How was the grape-pickin' trip with John Towers?", he asked.<br />"I suppose it wasn't too bad mate. At least it was work."</p><p> Jimmy asked me all the details of grape picking and after I'd finished telling him, I said<br />"I'm gonna' ride back down there tomorrow 'cause there's bugger all work in the Lake."<br />"Yeah, I know what ya mean mate. I haven't worked for the past month."<br /> Just then, I had a bright idea. "Why don't ya come with me to Mildura ?"<br />"How am I gonna git there?"<br />"On the back of the bike mate."<br />"I can fart faster than that bike of yours can go Yorky!"<br />"Jeesuz mate, no need to insult mi bike. It does 55 flat out.", I said jokingly.<br />"How fast will it go with 2 on board?", he asked?<br />"Probably 45.", I said.</p><p> We stood in the street for a long time discussing wether or not he would come with me. Jimmy had a hard time making up his mind. Eventually, he said, "I'll toss a coin, heads I go, tails I stay."</p><p> He flicked the coin high in the air and it came down heads.<br />"Git ya gear ready sport. You're off on a long ride.", I said.<br />"Hang on mate, best out-a 3!"<br /> Each time he flicked the coin, it came down heads. The unanimous decision to come with me was settled.<br />"Let's set off tonight.", I said. "It will save me a few bucks on rent."<br />"What time ya wanna go mate?"<br />"Six O'clock, that sound alright?"<br />"How we gonna carry our work clothes?"<br />"Have ya got a backpack?"<br />"I've got one somewhere in the caravan but I'll have to find it."<br />"Ok, when you find it, pack up some clothes and leave some space for mine. I'll meet ya a Gliltraps at 6. I'll go and pick up mi bike now.", I said.<br /><br /> Finally, after a lot of humming and hawing, he'd made his decision so I picked up mi bike from a friends' garage. I filled up the tank and checked the oil and after that I gave it a bit of a hose down at the garage and then rode back to Giltraps for a bit of a rest.</p><p> Jimmy knocked on my door around 6. I packed some work gear and a good shirt and strides into the backpack. We were now ready to roll!</p><p> Outside of Giltraps I started the bike. She went first kick. "Alright, hop on Jim.", I said. Once he was seated and comfortable, I kicked the gear-lever into first and we tore off up the main drag of the Lake and onto the Rankin Springs dirt road.</p><p> Although mi bike had a double seat, it was not too comfortable with 2 people on it plus a large backpack. The shock-absorbers bottomed out as we rode across the large pot holes.<br />"It'll be more comfortable when we get back on the bitchuman Jim.", I called out over mi shoulder.<br />"I fuckin' hope so mate.", he shouted in mi ear. "My arse is aching already and we've only been going for half an hour."<br /><br /> The tar seal started at Rankin Springs and it was a welcome sight indeed, especially for Jim, who was not used to riding bikes. We rode all through the long night and the further we rode the slower mi poor bike wanted to go. Eventually, after about 10 hours, oil started to drip out of the engine. A head-gasket had blown from the constant speed and the excessive weight it was carrying.<br /><br /> Between the two of us, we didn't have much money so it was impossible to repair the bike. I made the decision to trade it in at one of the garages on the way. At the third garage, the salesman offered me an old Austin A55 Sedan. There was not much option left but to trade her. Although I felt quite sad to see her being wheeled away, the thought of having a car made up for it. </p><p>Once the deal was finalized, we filled the tank and set off up the road again. We stopped a couple of miles from the garage to buy some toasted sandwiches. I made use of the time by checking the car over. The oil in the engine was really low so I bought a gallon can and filled her up to the full mark.<br /><br /> When Jim came out of the cafe with our Sarnies he said, "I forgot to tell ya mate, I haven't got a license."<br />"What! Neither have I. What if the cops stop us? We'll get done! Maybe we should travel at night? It'll be a bit safer that way."<br />"Don't worry Yorky, she'll be right mate. No one's gonna stop us."<br />"Alright mate, if you say so.", I said.<br /><br /> We ate sandwiches as we drove. After fifty miles the oil light came on.<br />"I thought ya filled her up with oil Yorky?", said Jim in surprise.<br />"I did mate. I put a whole fucking gallon in."<br />"Jeezus Christ mate! We'd better stop and check it. Maybe the oil light is faulty?"<br />"I fuckin' hope so mate, 'cause if not that means the engine is fucked in this too!"</p><p> I lifted the bonnet. It was not a pretty sight and when I checked the dip stick there was no oil on it. "Fuckin' hell mate, not a drop! That means she's used a gallon of oil in 50 miles."<br /><br /> Luckily we found a quart bottle of oil in the boot. I poured that in and we set off at a slow pace. Once we reached the next petrol station I bought some more oil. We decided to drive a bit slower now 'cause money was a big concern. We'd only been going for another hour or so when the sun went down.</p><p>I said to Jim, "She'll probably run better in the cool weather."<br /> No sooner had I said that, a cop car flew past us going in the opposite direction.<br />"That was lucky, Jim. He's going the opposite way."<br />"Stop thinkin' about it mate, there's no way we'll get caught!"</p><p> Before he got the last word out of his mouth we heard the cop siren.<br />"Fuckin' shit!", said Jim. "There's a cop car coming up fast behind us. He must be in an awful hurry to catch someone."<br /> As he drew level with us, he waved me over to the side of the road.<br />"Oh Fuck!", I said. "Now we're in the shit mate! I told ya we'd have been better off driving at night."<br />"Sorry mate, you were right and I was wrong."</p><p> When I stopped the car, the cop got out of his and casually sauntered over to the drivers' side.<br />"G'day fellas.", he said. "Can I see ya license?"<br />"No.", I said.<br />"What d'ya mean NO?"<br />"Ya can't see it cause I haven't got one.", I said.<br />"Oh.", he said. "What about ya mate?"<br />"No luck there either.", I said<br />"Alright, show us ya rego papers."<br />"No luck there either."<br />"Pink slip?", he asked, in a hopeful manner<br />"Not even a pink slip officer."<br />"Well fellas', I'd say you're in the shit, right up to ya ears. What d'ya reckon?"<br />"If you say so Officer, that's unless you're gonna let us go.", I said.<br />"Can't do that fellas. You'd better follow me."</p><p> Easier said than done. He got in his car and took off like a bat out-a-hell. It took me all my time to see him, never mind follow him. The cop pulled up outside the station. He had to wait at least 5 minutes for us to arrive.<br />"Shall I turn her off?", I asked.<br />"I think you'd better cause ya won't be needin' it for a long time.", he said.</p><p> We spent at least 4 hours at the cop station. The big Sergeant interrogated us both, in separate rooms. After he was satisfied with our stories, he put us both in the same room again.<br />"What's gonna happen now?', I asked him.<br />"I'm gonna lock ya up till Monday morning and then ya can go up before the Judge at the local court house."</p><p> As soon as Jim heard this, his eyes teared up a bit and he said it was all his fault. The Sergeant seemed to get a bit upset himself now.<br />"He said, "What's the name of the local Sarg at Lake Cargelligo?"<br />"Sergeant Montgomery.", I said.<br /> The Sergeant called up the Lake cop shop and asked old Monty for a character reference for us.</p><p>After he'd spoken to him, he put the phone down and said,<br />"It seems like you two fellas' are pretty good blokes. The sergeant at the Lake gave you both first-class references, so here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna' let you both off this time but I'm gonna have to impound that old piece of shit you call a car. Come on, let's go see the local garage owner and find out how much it will cost to make it road-worthy."</p><p> After half an hours inspection the mechanic came up with the verdict.<br />"150 bucks! That should do it but that's not counting the engine. If you ask me, it's just about rooted."<br /> The sergeant made me sign a paper authorizing the repairs and then he told me to come back in a week and pick it up.<br />"Oh yeah.", he said. "And be prepared to sit for ya license. Here's a book for ya to study in ya spare time. Now git outa' here before I change mi mind."</p><p> When we got outside, all Jim could say was, "I'm sorry mate. I should have listened to you. We would have been almost there by now."<br />"No worries mate. We'd better concentrate on hitchin' a ride now cause we've still got a hundred miles to go."</p><p> It took us about an hour to pick up a ride. The bloke dropped us right at the farmers' gate where I previously worked. After Jimmy and I had signed on, we went over to the bunk house and made up a couple of beds. After relating the story to a few of the blokes I'd worked with the week before, we turned out the lights and took a good nights' rest.</p><p> The following day, I introduced Jim to the joys of grape picking. He was not too keen on it and before the day was out he was ready to go back home.</p><p> Jim and me worked for 3 weeks picking grapes. At the end of that time we still didn't have enough money to pick up the car so the farmer, who I got on with real well, offered to loan me 80 bucks so I could at least bring the car down to the farm.</p><p> By the time the grapes were all picked, I still owed the farmer 50 bucks.</p><p> There was no more work to do. I promised him I'd send the money as soon as possible. I even signed an IOU so he'd feel a bit safer about it. Once everything was in order and our gear was packed up, we loaded it into the old bomb.<br /><br /> I set off for Lake Cargelligo, only this time I had mi first car license in mi back pocket. Fortunately, the old A55 made the trip. It was a toss-up what it used most of, oil or petrol. </p><p>As we neared Lake Cargelligo, the dirt roads started to get a bit wetter. Once back at Giltraps we found out that there had been a couple of inches of rain a few days previously.</p><p> That same evening that we arrived back, Sergeant Montgomery came in to Giltraps for a beer on his night off.<br />"G'day Sergeant.", I said, remembering the glowing reference he'd given us, which by all accounts, kept us out of jail.<br />"G'day Yorky.", he said with a slight grin. "How was the grape-picking trip mate?"<br />"I don't have to tell you Sergeant, I think you already know."<br /></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4725535300199715328.post-8723062227635181532022-03-13T12:29:00.004-07:002022-04-15T06:15:01.336-07:00STRANGLING THE KANGAROO<p>“Ya ever had a root Yorky?”, said Kevin.<br />"Nah mate, I’m only 15. I doubt whether I'd git one in a brothel with a walletful of money."<br /> We had a good laugh at this one.<br />"You'll have to come into town and stay at my place one night Yorky. I'll take ya down the main street after dark and introduce ya to the town bike."<br />"What's a town bike?"<br />"Not what mate, who? is more like it."<br />"OK, then who?"<br />"Who, is a young sheila that loves it. She's called the town bike because everybody rides her, Yorky. Don't ya git it mate?"<br />"I do now." I said. "But, I think I'll stick to walking until I git a ute."<br />"Yeh, that'll git ya a sheila, mate." he said with a smile.<br /><br />"What's the matter?" said Kevin as I scratched away at my shoulders and the back of my neck.<br />"The wheat dust is making my skin itchy, mate."<br />"Yeh, you'll get itchy for the first couple of days, then after that you'll git used to it, mate. Wait till we start strippin' the oats and barley. They're much worse than wheat mate."<br />"How long does it take to git used to that, Kevin?"<br />"Oh, once you've scratched all ya' skin off Yorky, you won't notice it anymore." he said with a grin.<br /><br />Our days passed very much like that for about 8 weeks. One night as we were driving home, Digger said to me, "Grab the rifle off the back window will ya Yorky mate."<br />"No problem, mate." I said as I turned around to get it.<br />"There's a box of 22's in the glove box," said Kevin. "Fill the mag up will ya?"<br />"What ya gonna shoot?<br />"We need a couple of roo's for dog tucker. Diggers' got five dogs and I've got six of the bastards plus the old man has a couple. Two roos don't last very long between a dozen or so dogs. There's some scrub country up the back of Diggers' place so we'll swing by there on our way home. We'll get two or three quite easy 'cause it's right on dusk now."<br /><br />"There's a small mob." said Digger, as we drove along side one of his fences.<br />"Jump in the back with the gun, Digger. Once you've shot one we'll chase 'em down the fence line. If we're lucky you'll git one on the hop!"<br />Digger very quietly opened the door and climbed in the back of the Ute with Kevin's' 5-shot Bruno 22.<br /> BANG! A half-grown roo fell over on its' side and the others took off at top speed.<br />"Hang on Digger!" yelled Kevin as we bounced over the rough dirt track.<br />"Wait till we git a bit closer, sport. OK Digger, let 'em have it!"<br /> Digger fired 2 shots and a big roo hit the dust. Two more shots rang out, but the roos kept hopping.<br /><br />"Ah, ya useless fucking bastard!" yelled Kevin out the window. "Ya only got one of 'em."<br />Diggers rough head came into view upside-down in Kevins' side window and said, "You fuckin' try hittin' 'em with a pea rifle off the back of a Ute with no crate on it if ya so fuckin' good Kevin. It's not as fuckin' easy as it looks, mate. Anyway, it took me all mi time to hang on. I almost fell out!"<br />"Ah ya fuckin' useless Digger", yelled Kevin. "Too much fuckin' wankin' is your problem, mate."<br />"Well it's cheaper than looking after a fuckin' wife in town, Kevin."<br /><br /> At first I used to think that they were fair dinkum when they spoke to each other this way but after a while I came to realize that it was all designed to entertain me and entertain me they did.<br />The Ute pulled up alongside where the roo was now balanced on one leg and his tail and from looks of him he was not in a very good mood.<br /><br />"He looks a bit cranky." said Kevin, as we got out of the cab.<br />"He's got a broken leg, that's why." I said.<br />"They're pretty tough bastards." said Digger, who was sitting on the edge of the back of the Ute.<br />"They sure are Digger." I said.<br />"You think you're as tough as a roo, Yorky?" said Digger.<br />"What d'ya mean Digger?"<br />"Well, for instance, it would be a bit of a shame to waste another good bullet on him, wouldn't it? "<br />"I suppose so." I said in my naiveté, not knowing I was in the process of being set up.<br />"Ya could strangle him, Digger." I said, which was exactly what he'd wanted me to say and I'd taken the bait, hook, line and sinker!<br />"Yeh, I probably could mate, but I'll bet mi boots a pommy bastard like you wouldn't be able to strangle him."<br /> There was no way out of the challenge now 'cause I was in too deep, so my next line had to be "How much ya wanna bet, Digger?"<br />"How much ya make a week, Yorky?"<br />"10 quid. Why?"<br />"I'll bet ya half a weeks wages."<br />"You're on Digger." I said as I offered him my handshake.<br />"Ya words good enough for me, Yorky." he said with a big smile.<br /><br />"Jesus Christ!" said Kevin. "This'll be a bit of fun. The pommy versus the roo, to the death!"<br /> 'Oh shit!' I thought, you let them con you Yorky, now you'll have to go through with it or they'll take the piss out of ya for weeks on end. They'll say that you're a gutless pommy bastard. You'll never hear the end of it.<br />"Whenever you're ready Yorky." said Digger. "Take ya time mate. He's got a real strong tail. Look how he's sittin' up there mate!"<br /><br /> I turned to face the roo, who was now growling and raring to go. As I moved towards him he moved around a bit so he was still facing me, so I moved back around the other way. As soon as I made my move the roo made his, so he was still facing me. I thought, 'I may be able to run around the back side of him', but he saw what I was up to and hopped around on his one good leg and thick strong, sinewy tail to face me again.<br /><br />"Ya not makin' much headway with him Yorky." said Kevin.<br />"I think the Pommy bastard's scared of him." said Digger.<br />"If I go at him face on, Digger, he'll kick mi guts out mate!"<br />"Yeh, he most likely will Yorky." said Digger, who was now chewing on a piece of wheat stalk.<br />"Tell ya what I'll do for ya Yorky." said Kevin, with a smile. "I'll distract him with a branch and you sneak around the back of him and when he's not looking at ya, run in and grab him mate!"<br />"OK!" I said, glad for some help. "Go grab a big stick."<br /><br /> Kevin moved over to the side of the fence and picked up a large stick with some eucalyptus leaves on the end of it.<br />"Alright Yorky!" he said with a big smile. "Git ready mate!"<br /><br /> Kevin walked in front of the roo and shook the stick in the roos face and as the roo turned to face him, I made the best of my opportunity. Running towards the roo, I grabbed him by the throat with mi bare hands. This really pissed him off. As I started to squeeze, he put his hands up to my hands that were wrapped tightly around his neck and started to claw at them, so I squeezed his neck much harder now. He fell over backwards on top of me, which knocked me to the ground, but by this time we were both fighting for our lives.<br /><br /> As we rolled around on the ground the roos one good back leg kept coming in, up and down with great force as his large razor sharp toenail cut through the air trying to connect with some solid pommy skin. The red dust was flying quite thick now as we rolled around in the dirt. The roos' large, thick tail was thumping the ground as he tried to get his balance back so he could regain his one good leg. We were so close together now that we could smell each other and he sure didn't like the smell of white, pommy, Palmolive-flavored skin, so he kicked as hard as he could while at the same time trying to twist his body so he was facing me.<br /><br /> I could hear Digger and Kevin laughing their heads off as Digger said, "Look out Yorky, If he gets turned around to face ya, ya fucked mate! I'll never collect mi five quid!" he roared with laughter.<br /><br />"Fuck you Digger!" I screamed. "And fuck ya five quid mate. This bastard is a bloody strong roo, even with one leg!"<br /><br />"Hang on to him, Yorky baby." roared Kevin from the sideline. "I think ya making a bit of progress with him, mate. Try squeezin' a bit harder Yorky!"<br /><br /> I could feel the vibration in the roos' voice box as he growled and growled. I was squeezing as hard as I could but it was not making much of an impression on him as we still rolled around in the Aussie dirt. He tried to regain his foot and rolled over on his other side, taking me with him as I tried to get a foothold in the dust with mi work boot.<br /><br />"I think ya gettin' one up on him, Yorky!" roared Kevin amidst a big belly laugh. "His eyes are starting to bulge a little bit."<br />"I can't squeeze any harder!”, I yelled to Kevin as we rolled around again.<br />"If he turns around to face ya Yorky, give him a big kiss. That'll confuse him mate, but be careful he doesn't bite ya lip."<br />"And look out for his breath!" added Kevin. "It probably stinks. It doesn't look like he's cleaned his teeth for a while, mate!"<br />"Give us a fucking hand, Kevin!" I yelled. "I'm stuck with him. I can't kill him and I can't let him go!"<br />"Ya goin' great Yorky." yelled Digger. "I'm getting mi 5 quid out now so I can pay ya mate, as soon as he's dead."<br /><br /> The roo was in no worse shape now than before I started. His sinewy neck was as strong as hard-core rubber under the gray and brown fur. The more and longer I squeezed, the more it seemed to piss him off. I felt like he knew I'd lost before I started and all I could do now was to hang on to his neck so he couldn't turn around and kick me to death.<br /><br /> As I eventually regained my feet, I yelled to Kevin,<br />"Bait him with the stick mate, I'm gonna try to let him go!"<br />"Nah mate.", he said. "Hang onto him Yorky. You're doin' great cobber!"<br />"Fuck you Kevin! You take over if ya want but I'm lettin’ him go right now mate, so grab the stick!"<br /><br /> I let go of the grip I'd had on the roos' throat and as I opened mi hands he shot forwards and regained his feet. I shot backwards as fast as I could go without losing mi footing. The roo had turned around again as he'd gone forward so now we stood face to face with each other at a distance of about 8 feet.<br /> As we both stood there, breathing hard and gasping for breath, Digger said, "I think you've just about got him fucked Yorky. Dive on him again mate and give him another good dose. Show him what you're made of Yorky!"<br />"Fuck you Digger!", I said, between gasps. "He's too good for me mate."<br /><br /> Digger was now sat on a can in the back of the Ute still laughing away to himself as Kevin shot the roo and stuck him in the back of the Ute with the other one.<br /><br />"Alright.” said Kevin. "Let's go. It'll be ten O'clock before I get home at this rate. The missus will be wonderin' where I got to."<br /><br /> When we got back to the homestead we threw the 2 roos into the dog pen and Kevin opened 'em up with a sharp pocketknife so as to make it easier for them to get at the meat. When we walked away the Kelpies were all fighting to maintain their positions in the pack and some of them were fighting to move up a position so they could eat before the rest of 'em.<br />"Look at the bastards!" said Kevin. "They won't work for a bloody week after a feed like that."<br />"Yeah." said Digger. "It's just as well we won't be needing' 'em for a while."<br /><br /> That evening, after a good shower, Digger related the story of how Yorky had tried to strangle a roo on the way home. Dick Skipworth had a good laugh between mouthfuls of cold mutton and Nellie said to me, "Be careful of those two boys of mine, Yorky, they'll kid ya up a tree and chop it down it ya let 'em."<br />"I can see that, Mrs. Skipworth. I'll watch out for 'em from now on. I owe Digger 5 quid."<br /> Digger started to laugh and after he'd finished he said, "I'm cancelin' the bet, Yorky. That's the best 5 quids worth of entertainment I've ever had in mi life, mate."</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4725535300199715328.post-4321301265994564702021-07-12T18:31:00.002-07:002022-06-07T05:36:15.760-07:00PATCHES IN STORY FORM<p> That day we all busied ourselves milking cows, driving tractors, cleaning the place up and whatever jobs one generally does around a farm.<br /> In the afternoon Defoe said to us boys,<br />"Can any of you lot ride a horse?"<br /> A couple of the boys raised their hands.<br /> Defoe said to them,<br />"Go and catch old Patches over there and saddle him up. You can all take turns riding him, it'll give ya a bit of experience in case ya need it some time."<br /><br /> Patches was a strong-looking black and white Gelding. one of the boys threw a saddle across him and was trying to do up the cinch.<br />"Not like that, ya pommy bastard! Go back in the barn and get me a saddle blanket."<br /> As soon as the boy returned, Defoe placed the saddle blanket over old Patches back. Then he threw the Aussie Stock Saddle on top of the blanket as he said,<br />"Don't forget to pull the far-side stirrup iron over the saddle cause if ya don't, when ya throw the saddle over him, the stirrup iron will hit him under the guts and that'll spook him and make him kick. This old horse has seen more Pommy bastards than any other horse alive in Australia today. He's not particularly fond of 'em, so watch him cause he's not afraid of kickin' and he doesn't mind biting a piece of Pommy arse now and again."<br /> Once the saddle was in place, Defoe pulled the cinch up tight.<br />"Once you've got the cinch up tight, walk him around a bit cause he's a cunning bastard. He'll puff his belly out to make ya believe the cinch is tight and when ya go to mount him, he'll let the air out and then you and the saddle will go arse over head in the dirt, OK? Now, after you've walked him around a bit, if he still keeps his belly puffed out, ya give him him a real good swift kick in the guts, like this." 'BOOT!<br /> Defoe kicked Patches right in the guts. In turn, Patches kicked up both of his back legs high in the air. Defoe pulled hard on the cinch which tightened up the strap a couple of notches.<br />"Now you're ready to mount. Watch carefully or you'll get bit on the arse. You always mount from this side and make sure ya hold the far-side rein tight so he can't bite ya. Ya put ya left foot in the stirrup and ya swing ya leg up and over in one easy movement. Like this!"<br /> Defoe was now looming above us as he sat astride Patches.<br />"Ya give him a good, firm dig with the heel of ya boot, then away ya go mate!"<br /> After he'd walked Patches around the yard for a while, he dismounted and said to me,<br />"Alright Squirt, hop on 'im and have a go."<br /><br /> I'd only ever ridden a donkey on Blackpool Beach as a kid for sixpence a ride. I took a deep breath and with great determination strode up to Patches, who put his head down as soon as he saw me approach him.<br />"Grab those reins tight Squirt!", Defoe said to me. "Pull on the far side one until he lifts his head up again."<br /> As I pulled on the rein, Patches swung his massive head around and tried to bite my bony, little arse.<br />"Look out squirt!, said Defoe. The mean old bastard will have a piece of ya arse if ya not careful mate."<br /> This little show made all the boys laugh. Patches knew he was the center of everyones attention. He swung his head around for another go at mi arse.<br />"That stirrup iron is too long for ya squirt so adjust the strap like this mate. It should only be the length of ya arm, from your fingertips to your underarm. That's good enough mate. I'll do the other side for ya."<br /> When the stirrup iron was the correct length, Defoe said,<br />"Git up on him and watch out for the cunning old bastard. He's likely to do anything. You've got to be thinking one step ahead of the old bastard cause if not, he'll take over and run the fucking show on ya!"<br /> I mounted Patches just like I'd seen on the cowboy shows. I gave him a couple of good kicks with the heel of mi boots and Patches started to walk around.<br />"Good on ya squirt.", said Defoe. "That's the idea. He's real hard in the mouth so you've got to ride him and show him who's boss, cause if not, he'll take over and run the fucking show on ya! Oy! Open that gate ya curly-headed pufta so the squirt can go for a ride in the cow paddock."<br /><br /> Dave opened the gate so Patches and me rode through into the paddock.<br />'This is a piece of cake', I thought as I watched Cowboy Dick, riding along with one arm down at his side. 'What a great life it is riding the Bush Range in Australia. Maybe I'll get misen a job droving cattle around the Bush now that I can ride a horse.'<br /><br /> When we reached the bottom of the long paddock, I was still fantasizing misen as a cowboy. I almost pulled out one of mi imaginary six-guns that were slung low at mi hips. Just then Patches turned around totally unexpected and took of back up the back up the paddock at full speed. All I could do was to hang on as mi new bush hat flew off mi head into nowhere. Faster and faster Patches galloped up the paddock. I was shit-scared but at the same time, the excitement of the gallop was amazing.<br />'Oh no! Now what do I do? 40 yards ahead of me was the barb-wire fence where all the boys stood cheering and ya-hooing.<br />"Ride the old bastard!", yelled Defoe.<br />"Ya-hoo!, screamed the boys.<br /><br /> The fence now loomed dangerously close and my fantasies were long gone. All of a sudden Patches applied the horses brakes and I saw misen flying through the air, headlong over the fence. The next thing I remember was Defoe, pulling me up onto mi feet. The back of mi head had a throbbing, dull ache in it and mi arse felt like someone had just kicked it with a size 10 boot.<br />"Jesus bloody Christ mate! What the fuck are ya playing at? You're supposed to stop when the horse stops! You'll bloody well hurt ya self getting off a horse that way! Now git back up on the old bastard and try it again."<br />"I don't think I'm cut out for riding horses, Mr. Defoe.", I said.<br />"Fucking bullshit lad. You'll make a fucking good jockey if ya stop eating. Now git back on him cause if ya don't, you'll end up scared of horses and if ya scared of horses, ya rooted for Bush life."<br /> Someone caught Patches and handed me the reins. Defoe gave me a leg up.<br />"Now watch the old bastard. he thinks he's got it all over ya now."<br /> Defoe was absolutely right cause as soon as we went through the gate into the paddock, Patches refused to go anywhere.<br />"Give the rotten old bastard a decent kick in the guts.", yelled Defoe.<br /> The heel of mi boots made contact with Patches sides. He didn't take a liking to this command so he decided to buck. Up on his hind legs he stood. He went down again and at the same time he kicked his back legs high in the air.<br />"Ya-hoo!", yelled some of the boys.<br />"Ride him cowboy!", yelled another boy.<br />"Show the bastard what you're made of Pommy!", yelled Defoe.<br /> I gave Patches another good command. Up and down he went, kicking and bucking for all his worth. Mi arse and knees were now feeling pain as Patches continued to try to hurl me to the ground again.<br />"Make the bastard go down the paddock!", said Defoe.<br /> By sheer will power, I got Patches to walk forwards and down the paddock again, only this time there were no cowboy fantasies playing around in mi head, only a dull, throbbing ache.<br /> When we got to the bottom of the paddock, I was one step ahead of Patches. I now knew what Defoe was trying to teach me. Instead of letting Patches run the show, I held the rein in tight so he could not have his head. After a few seconds, I said to Patches, in mi broad Yorkshire accent,<br />"OK Patches, you fuckin old bastard! This time I'm runnin' the fucking show! Now move, you Aussie bastard! Yahhhh!!!"<br /> Patches needed no command from my boot heel but I gave him one anyway just to let him know who was the boss. Off we went at full gallop. I gave him another good heel and for good measure I gave him a hefty slap on his arse with mi right hand. 'Yah!' I yelled at the top of mi voice as Patches thundered back up the long paddock.<br /><br /> We passed mi new Bush hat and for a split second I thought I might lean down and snatch it from the ground like a Russian Cossack but dismissed the thought at once. "Yah!!!!, up the paddock we galloped. The barb-wire fence was now getting closer. As we got about 10 feet away from it, Patches applied the brakes but this time, I leaned back in the saddle and pulled on the left-hand rein with me feet stuck out at the front.<br /> Patches didn't like this at all. He gave a few good bucks to show his disapproval but Dafoe yelled,<br />"You've got it all over him now Squirt. Ride him back here so one of these other puftas can show off his horsemanship!"<br /><br /> As I dismounted, Patches swung his head around to bite mi arse and gave me a look of disapproval. Defoe said,<br />"Good on ya mate. We'll make a fuckin' good Bushman out of you yet Squirt. Where ya from in England Mate?"<br />"I'm from Yorkshire, Mr. Defoe."<br />"Well, in that case mate, I'll just call ya 'Yorky' from now on and you can call me 'Bill'. We can do away with that Mr. Defoe bullshit, cause you've earned it lad. Now ya can lean on the fence and watch Patches give that ugly, little bastard Maurice a good fucking workout.<br />"Come here Maurice, you little pufta. Up ya fucking go mate. Show us what ya made of!"<br /><br /> I really felt a lot of love in mi heart for Bill Defoe now. It felt very strange at first to call him 'Bill', but before long, I started to feel what it was like to be called a man. Bill Defoe taught me to face fear and not to shrink away from it. The lessons I learned from this hard man served me well throughout mi Bush life. There we many hard lessons yet to come, unbeknownst to me, but his brand of love, I still carry in mi heart.<br /></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4725535300199715328.post-59801092616708092352020-09-01T18:37:00.007-07:002022-08-21T11:13:12.242-07:00DIALOGUE SCRIPT FOR MRS. GIBSON<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i><span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></i></b>
<b><i><span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></i></b><b><i><span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></i></b>
<b><i><span style="font-size: x-large;">MRS GIBSON</span></i></b><br />
<b><i><span style="font-size: x-large;">=</span></i></b><br />
<b><i><span style="font-size: x-large;">ONE</span></i></b><br />
<b><i><span style="font-size: x-large;">WISE</span></i></b><br />
<b><i><span style="font-size: x-large;">WOMAN</span></i></b><br />
<b><i><span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></i></b>
<b><i><span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></i></b><b><i><span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></i></b><br />
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<u>CHARACTERS:</u></div>
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YORKY</div>
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FREDDY</div>
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WAR DOG</div>
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MRS. GIBSON (GIBBI)</div>
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MAVIS (HEAD COOK)</div>
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CATH GILLTRAP</div>
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<u>LOCATIONS:</u></div>
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GILLTRAPS HOTEL KITCHEN</div>
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GILLTRAPS HOTEL BAR</div>
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SOW PEN</div>
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PARKING LOT OF GILLTRAPS</div>
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INTERIOR OF YORKYS' CAR</div>
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LAWN OF MAVISES HOUSE</div>
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EXTERIOR OF GIBBIS' HOUSE</div>
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YORKYS ROOM IN HOTEL</div>
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<b><i><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></i></b>
<b><i><span style="font-size: large;">Yorky is 18 years old now. He hasn't had a root..YET! But he doesn't stop trying!) </span><span style="font-size: x-large;"> </span></i></b><br />
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It was a common practice at Gilltraps, on a Friday and Saturday nights, to migrate into the lounge, which was commonly known as The Sow Pen.</div>
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The Sow Pen was a room off of the end of the bar. It had a serving hatch where one could order their beers. A juke box that played country music, like Slim Dusty, Rick and Thel and Chad Morgan, and everyones' favorite song Running Bear. Sadie the Cleaning Lady ran a close second.</div>
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Round tables and fairly comfortable chairs were provided as the Sow Pen was furnished with women in mind, seeing as they weren't allowed in the barroom. According to that bit of strategy, women were one rung lower on the ladder, as Abbos' were now allowed to drink in the bar and drink they did. Women not being allowed in the bar was not a NSW government law. It was, more or less, a Bush law owing to the fact that blokes would get full of grog, curse and swear.</div>
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Those days were not like today, where most people swear in mixed company. For example; women were not allowed in the shearing shed. If any woman was within earshot of the shed, some one would yell out, 'Ducks on the Pond!'</div>
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************************</div>
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Mrs. Gibson was an Aboriginal cook who worked for Cath Gilltrap in the Hotel kitchen. She was about 50 years old and probably had 30 to 40% white fella in her. Her height was about 5'7" and she weighed around 12 stone (170 pounds). Mrs. Gibson, who was known as Gibbi, dressed well and spoke very good english. She was also the proud mother of 5 children of various ages.</div>
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Some mornings, when I was due to leave early for work, she would, very kindly, make me some breakfast before the scheduled time. Gilltraps dining room was nothing to write home about. Although very clean, it was more or less, one empty room with 4 dining tables plus chairs. Not wanting to sit in an empty room to eat my breakfast, Mrs. Gibson cleared a space on the over-sized kitchen table where I could eat.</div>
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On one particular morning, the head cook was late for work. She'd been on the grog in the Sow Pen, with her drinking mates the night before. Cath Gilltrap, who was normally even tempered and very fair, was in a stinking mood, as she rushed around the kitchen helping Gibbi with the cooking and cleaning. Eventually the head cook arrived for work 40 minutes late. No sooner had she put on her apron, Cath Gilltraps' had a piece of her.</div>
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CATH</div>
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What time d'ya call this? Ya paid to start work at 5:30.<br />
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MAVIS THE HEAD COOK<br />
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Yeah, I know.</div>
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CATH</div>
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This is not acceptable. You've been late twice already this week.</div>
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MAVIS</div>
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Yeah, 5 minutes.</div>
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CATH</div>
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How would you like it if I had added up the times that you've been late and docked it off ya pay?<br />
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MAVIS<br />
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It won't happen again.</div>
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CATH</div>
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What am I gonna' tell the guests this morning, now that the schedule is off?</div>
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<i>(All of a sudden and without warning, Mavis removes her apron and throws it into the large pot of lamb stew that is sitting on the stove.)</i></div>
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MAVIS</div>
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Ya know what Cath? Why don't ya take ya fuckin' apron and ya breakfast schedule and shove it up ya arse and while we're at it, if you ever want me to cook for ya again, I want a raise!</div>
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(S<i>he storms out and says to Mrs. Gibson as she is leaving</i>)<br />
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See ya in the Sow Pen.</div>
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GIBBI</div>
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Well that certainly livened up the morning. </div>
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(<i>Gibbi to Mrs. Gilltrap.)</i></div>
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What are we gonna' do for a Head cook now?</div>
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CATH</div>
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<br />
You can be the head cook, until I find a replacement.</div>
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GIBBI</div>
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Not bloody likely. I'm already working mi arse off in here, as it is.</div>
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CATH</div>
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I'll put a few extra bucks in ya wages for ya.</div>
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GIBBI</div>
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No bloody way. I've got a bad back and I'm already doing more work than I get paid for! You need to find another head cook today or there'll be no more meals cooked in this kitchen.</div>
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CATH</div>
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I'm not gonna' be able to find another cook in one day! What d'ya expect me to do?</div>
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GIBBI<br />
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Well, I suppose you'd better go round and see her.<br />
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CATH<br />
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For what?<br />
<br />
GIBBI<br />
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Apologize for going off on her. Ya know how temperamental she is when she's had a big night on the grog. Besides, she's the best cook in the Lake. You'll never find anyone better than her.<br />
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CATH<br />
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Just do lunch and dinner for me Gibbi and I'll have some one else by tonight.<br />
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GIBBI<br />
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All right, but that's it! If you haven't got someone by the time I knock off, I won't be in tomorrow. You can let me know when you've found someone!<br />
<br />
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<i>(Cath leaves the kitchen)</i></div>
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YORKY</div>
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Jeesus, what a beaut drama! So what happens now?<br />
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GIBBI<br />
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She'll have to apologize to her and ask her to come back to work.<br />
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YORKY<br />
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What if she doesn't?<br />
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GIBBI<br />
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She'll have to. That old sheila took a hotel cooking course. She's got a certificate to prove it.<br />
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YORKY<br />
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Why don't you want the job Gibbi? You'll make more money.<br />
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GIBBI<br />
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Bullshit! She'll have me doing more work for the same pay. I might be an Abbo but I'm not stupid or lazy like those mission bungs. I'm educated and I live in town. I've raised 5 good kids and they're all pretty well-educated as well!<br />
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********************</div>
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<b> (INT KITCHEN - NEXT MORNING<i>) </i></b><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Yorky walks into the kitchen for breakfast, he sees Mavis, the Head Cook, in a clean apron, busying herself at the stove.)</i></div>
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YORKY</div>
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What happened?<br />
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<i style="text-align: left;">(Yorky asks Mrs. Gibbi quietly)</i></div>
<i style="text-align: left;"><br /></i>
<span style="text-align: left;">GIBBI</span><br />
<i style="text-align: left;"><br /></i></div>
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Cath Gilltrap had to go round to her place and apologize and give her the raise she asked for.<br />
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YORKY<br />
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So, things are hunky-dorry now?<br />
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GIBBI<br />
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Yeah, till the next time.</div>
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<i>*************************************</i></div>
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<i> </i><b> (INT BAR - GILLTRAPS HOTEL)</b></div>
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<i> (It's Friday night and Freddy, Yorky and War Dog are in a school together at the bar, relaxing from a weeks hard work. Freddy, walks back from the dunny)</i></div>
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<span style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div>
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FREDDY<br />
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Hey Yorky mate, I just stuck mi head in the Sow Pen. They've got a bit of a party goin' on in there. Ya think we ought to join 'em?<br />
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YORKY<br />
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Why not mate. We'll finish this round off, then poke our noses in there and see what's happening. Ya wanna' join us War Dog?<br />
<br />
WAR DOG<br />
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Now why the fuck would I wanna' sit in the Sow Pen with a bunch of middle-aged, fat sheilas' who are half-tanked up on grog?<br />
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FREDDY<br />
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It might be fun War Dog. Some of 'em are dancing.<br />
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WAR DOG<br />
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That sounds to me like it would be as much fun as a feed of shit mate. When are you two bastards gonna learn? If ya wanna' root, ya gotta hop in that old A55 of yours and take off to West Wyalong or Griffith. Somewhere, where nobody knows ya'!<br />
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YORKY<br />
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Very fuckin' funny War Dog. Like you're the expert at gittin' a root.<br />
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WAR DOG<br />
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Look mate, I'm no expert at gittin' a root but don't ya' think I was a young bloke once? Same as you two fuck-wits. Lake Cargelligo is a small, conservative, Bush town. Ya can't fart without the whole town knows about it. The smell wouldn't have time to leave ya strides before they were talkin'.<br />
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FREDDY<br />
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Were you a young bloke once?<br />
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<i>(Freddy fakes a shocked look on his face.)</i></div>
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WAR DOG</div>
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Ya cheeky, fuckin' cunt! I'm surprised at you mate. Ya startin' to sound like this pommy bastard here. Haven't ya ever heard of respectin' ya elders?<br />
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<i> (The tone of War Dogs voice changes the look on Freddys' face.)</i></div>
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FREDDY</div>
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Can't ya take a joke War Dog? You're always tryin' to take the piss outa' me and Yorky. If ya not on at us about rootin, you're on at us about our workin' ability.<br />
<br />
WAR DOG<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And rightly so! He'll never git a root as long as his arsehole points to the ground, and you Freddy, mi old china, wouldn't work in an Iron, fuckin' lung! Have ya forgotten mate? I'm the bloke who worked on the relief gang with ya.<br />
<br />
FREDDY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah, well fuck you War Dog. You're not such a great worker ya self. You still think manual labor is a Dago tennis star!<br />
<br />
WAR DOG<br />
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<i> (This little joke of Freddys' strikes a raw nerve in War Dog.)</i></div>
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What am I doing, wasting mi fuckin' time sittin' here, drinkin' beer with you two disrespectful ding- bats? Fuck you two, I'm off down to Twitcheys for a beer. At least I'll git a bit of intelligent conversation there. All you two bastards ever think about is work and rootin', and not necessarily in that order!<br />
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(<i>The barmen walks over to Yorky, Freddy and War Dog.) </i></div>
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BARMAN</div>
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Same again fellas?<br />
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WAR DOG<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No, shove it up ya fuckin' tucker-shute mate!<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(War Dog makes a quick exit.)</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
BARMAN</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Jeesus fellas, ya sure riled the old bastard up tonight!<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Fuck him! He can dish it out but he can't take it. He's always the same once he's had a skin-full. Anyway, he'll have forgotten all about it by tomorrow.<br />
<br />
BARMAN<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Ya probably right mate, but don't drive any more of my customers off to Twitcheys or I'll end up down there miself, lookin' for a job!<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> (The barman put 2 middys on the counter, give a wink and walks away without pickin' up the money off the bar.)</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
FREDDY</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Jeesus Yorky, maybe you should insult War Dog more. I think the barman just shouted us!<br />
<br />
FREDDY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Sounds alright to me Yorky mate. Let's migrate to the Sow Pen.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
*************************</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>(INT SOW PEN)</b></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> (Yorky and Feddy find chairs and a table and settle into a fun evening of beer and laughter. The usual songs were plugged on the juke box and everyone is enjoying themselves. Even Freddy gets up for a bit of a dance. His moves looked slightly retarded!)</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> (Mrs. Gibson is, by this time, well on her way. She must have been because when some one played a slow song she says to Yorky)</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>GIBBI</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Come on Chummy, ya pommy bastard, make an old Ginn happy, git up and dance with me.<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> (Yorky notices as the night wears on, she starts pulling him in closer on the slow dances. This little action started to provoke ideas in his teenage, sex-starved brain, as he can feel her rather large breasts pushing against his chest.)</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I really love a good party Chummy.<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(She says as they move around in a small circle.) </i><br />
<i><br /></i></div>
But don't get me wrong mate, I'm not an Alchy' like these black bastards, out at the mission. I'm a clean-livin' woman.<br />
<br />
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(After the dance finishes, Yorky and Gibbi sit at a table together, drinking their beer.)</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Don't ya like the Mission Abbos, Gibbi?<br />
<br />
GIBBI<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Course I do. They're my people. How can I not?<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So why ya down on 'em.<br />
<br />
GIBBI<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm not down on 'em, it's their actions that I'm pissed-off with. They give all my people a bad name. Take your mate Popeye, for example. He walks around in bloody rags, 'cause he spends his money on cheap plonk. Then when he's broke down to the bones of his scrawny arse, he spends his time biting money off white fellas that have been working hard in the Bush all day! What the Aboriginal board ought to do is train 'em up to do something useful in life. That would give 'em a bit of self-respect and for the ones who refuse, kick 'em off the Mission and stick 'em back in the Bush. That'd wake 'em up.<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Don't ya put any blame on the white fellas' for stealing the land and introducing them to grog?<br />
<br />
GIBBI<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Course I bloody do. There's enough blame to go around for everyone but whinging about it hasn't done any good so far.<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What about ya kids, Gibbi? What do they identify with, black fellas or white fellas?<br />
<br />
GIBBI<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Both. And I brought them up not to be racists. There's too much of that shit around already!<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What about ya husband? Is he still alive?<br />
<br />
<br />
GIBBI</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah, he works on a station, west of here.<br />
<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
D'ya ever see him?<br />
<br />
GIBBI<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah, when he's blind drunk. He comes around biting me for money. He's a weak-willed piece of shit. Soon as he gets a check, he'll go and piss it up against the wall with his lazy abbo mates. What bloody use is he to a woman? I'm better off without him! I raised all my kids on mi own with no bloody help from that useless bastard! Let's change the subject Chummy, I don't wanna get all pissed- off and cranky. I'm in a good mood tonight!<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Mavis, comes over to the table where Yorky and Gibbi are sitting.)</i></div>
<br />
MAVIS<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
We're carrying the party on at our place after Traps closes, so I'm off home now to set up some tables and chairs on the lawn. You interested?<br />
<br />
GIBBI<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Too right Mavis, I'm up for anything tonight. I can't remember when I've had as good a time.<br />
<br />
MAVIS<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Well, make sure ya come and bring ya mate with ya.<br />
<br />
GIBBI<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No worries Mave, I'll be there.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Hey Chummy, have you still got that old rust bucket of yours?<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah, it's out the back of Traps, parked up. I don't drive it much 'cause it uses near on as much oil as petrol.<br />
<br />
GIBBI<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Ya think it would get us the other side a' town?<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
If she starts up, she will and as long as the battery's not flat.<br />
<br />
GIBBI<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Ya wanna' drive me to Mavis's place later?<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No worries. Sounds like a good plan to me.<br />
<br />
GIBBI<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
That old bomb's safe isn't it?<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah. It's even registered!<br />
<br />
GIBBI<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Ya ever had a fat old Ginn in the passengers seat before?<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm not sure what ya mean?<br />
<br />
GIBBI<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I mean me! You'd better make sure the front tires are good and solid or we'll driving on the rims.<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You're not a fat, old Ginn, Gibbi. You're a pretty good sort.<br />
<br />
GIBBI<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Ya should have seen me before I got married and dropped 5 kids! I was a pretty good sort then.<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm sure you were Gibbi.<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Gilltrap yells through the serving hatch)</i></div>
GILLTRAP<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Last Orders! Better hurry up if ya want another<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
**************************</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>(EXT PARKING LOT)</b><br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Yorky and Gibbi finish their drinks and make their way out to the parking area where Yorkys' car is parked.)</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
GIBBI</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Look out!<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(They stumble around, a little drunk.)</i></div>
Over there in the dark!<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> (It is almost impossible to see two aboriginal men, sprawled out with an empty flagon on its side between them.)</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You start the car Chummy. I'm gonna call the Sergeant and tell him to come pick 'em up.<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Why would ya do that? He'll chuck 'em in the Bull Wagon and take 'em off to jail for the night!<br />
<br />
GIBBI<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Better that, then gettin' run over by some drunken Yobbo, leaving the bar!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
(<i>Gibbi takes off back to the bar to phone Sergeant Montgomery. Yorky sets about starting up the car that hadn't been driven for a few weeks. Yorky checks the oil, and the car fires up on the third try.)</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> (Gibbi returns from the bar)</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> </i>YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Hop in love, we're on our way!<br />
<br />
GIBBI<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You are bloody joking! I'll be flat-out lifting up my fat, black arse onto the seat, never mind 'hopping'! I haven't hopped onto anything for the past twenty years!<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Laughter between the two)</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> (Yorky carefully reverses the car out onto the street.)</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>YORKY</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
We'd better git out'a here quick Gibbi before the sergeant shows up, or depending on his mood, he may ask me why I'm driving after drinking all night!<br />
<br />
GIBBI<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Oh fuck that fat bastard Chummy. He's after black fellas' now, not white fellas. One of those mission abbos was so black he'll have to use his torch to find him in the dark.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
********************</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>(EXT MAVIS' HOUSE.)</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(The barbecue party at Mavises' house is a roaring success. Yorky and Gibbi drink more Tinnies, eat lamb chops and steak and do their best to dance around on the lawn like a bunch of crazies.)</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
GIBBI</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Let's go Chummy, ya pommy bastard.<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(The long night has drawn to a close.)</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No worries mate. D'ya need me to help ya git ya fat black arse into the car?<br />
<br />
GIBBI<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Maybe. Let me try it on mi own first and if not we'll take one cheek apiece and load it in that way.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Laughter between the two.)</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>*****************************</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>(INT CAR)</b><br />
<br />
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> (It is near dawn when they pull up in front of Gibbis' house.)</i></div>
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
There ya go mate. I got ya home safe and sound.<br />
<br />
GIBBI<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Hey Chummy, I've got to tell ya mate, this is the best night out I've had since, I don't know when.<br />
Give us a bit of a kiss and cuddle and that will make my day.<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> (Yorky fulfills the request. At the same time, he slowly slides his hand up the inside of her leg. He'd only got his hand halfway to the destination when it comes to an abrupt halt with her hand on top of his stopping any further progress. After a few minutes of persistence and failure at each attempt, Gibbi says)</i><br />
<i><br /></i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Chummy, the front seat of this old bomb of yours is too small for what you've got in mind and I'm too fucking old and drunk to try fumbling around on the back seat, so I'll make you a deal mate! You take me on a night-out to a five star restaurant in Griffith, with a tablecloth and candles and when we get home, I'll invite you into my old humpy and ya can root me all night long! How does that sound?<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Yorky is quite shocked with her blunt honesty. He gives her a good smile)</i> </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
Alright Gibbi, you're on! It's a date, as long as this oil burner can make it. I'll let you know when.<br />
<br />
<br />
<i>(Gibbi clicks open the car door and after a few tries to get out she says.)</i><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
GIBBI</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Well don't just sit there mate, these seats are too bloody low. Give us a hand out!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Yorky gets out and goes to the passenger side. After a bit of effort he has her out of the car and on her feet.)</i></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Good on ya mate.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Gibbi wobbles off up the path to her front door.)</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>********************</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i><br /></i></div>
<b>(INT YORKYS' ROOM)</b><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
(It is now well and truly Saturday morning as Yorky parks the car. Once inside his room, he throws himself on top of the bed and contemplates the offer that Gibbi had made him. It doesn't take long to nod off, as it's been a long night of partying. Yorky is awakened around 12 Noon by a loud knocking on the door.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
All right! All right, I'm fuckin' comin'! Hold ya bloody horses!</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(He opens the door. Freddy is standing there) </i></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Jeesus Freddy, did ya have to knock so bloody loud?</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
FREDDY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Ya got a headache Yorky?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No mate, I never get headaches but I feel like shit. I didn't git home till this morning.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Ya got any Tinnies in ya room mate?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
FREDDY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No, I just finished the last one. Mi mouth tasted like the bottom of a fuckin' parrot cage when I woke up. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Go grab a six-pack will ya mate? Mi tongues stickin' to the roof of mi mouth. I'll fix ya up, when ya get back.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Freddy exits to get beer and then returns. </i><i style="text-align: left;">O</i><span style="text-align: left;"><i>nce the cans are opened they take swigs)</i></span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What time d'ya git home mate?<br />
<br />
FREDDY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
About 3 this morning What about you?<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="text-align: center;">YORKY</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Ya beat me by a couple of hours. The sun was coming up when I laid down. I didn't even bother to take off mi good gear, by the looks of it!<br />
<br />
FREDDY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
That's not like you Yorky mate. Your room's always 10 times more tidy than mine and ya good clothes are always hung up behind the door.<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah, I must have had a better night than I thought! What's the Johnny-Dorry Freddy? Did ya git any last night?<br />
<br />
FREDDY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Well, sort of mate.<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What d'ya mean, 'sort of'? Either ya did or ya didn't. Come on mate, spill ya guts.<br />
<br />
FREDDY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I got a ride to the party with some sheila who was related to Mavis.<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The one I saw ya dancin' with?<br />
<br />
FREDDY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah, that was probably her, mate.<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
She didn't look like a bad sort.<br />
<br />
FREDDY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah, she was pretty good fun. She almost drunk me under the table. She was chuckin' it back like it was goin' out of fashion.<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Was she from the Lake?<br />
<br />
FREDDY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Nah, she said she was from Condo. She's divorced with a couple of kids.<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
How old was she?<br />
<br />
FREDDY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I didn't ask mate but she looked about 35 or 40.<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
A divorcee, with a couple of kids! Ya must have hit the jackpot?<br />
<br />
FREDDY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Not quite mate. At the end of the night, we parked up along the lakeside and started some heavy pettin' but she wouldn't go all the way.<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
How come?<br />
<br />
FREDDY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I think she was one of those old-fashioned types that doesn't cock it up on a first date.<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So ya got nothin'?<br />
<br />
FREDDY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Well, not exactly. She agreed to flog mi maggot and said she'd go all the way next time.<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Fuckin' hell Freddy, at least ya got something. It's more than I got.<br />
<br />
FREDDY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Last time I saw ya Yorky, you were spinning old Mrs. Gibson around on the lawn.<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah mate, that's about all that happened.<br />
<br />
FREDDY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Don't tell me you were thinkin' of rootin' old Mrs. Gibson?<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
She's not that fuckin' old mate and besides, she's a lot of fun to be with. I wasn't thinkin' about her age.<br />
<br />
FREDDY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Ya mean 'cause she's an abbo?<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah, sort of. She's not a mission abbo Freddy, she's lived in town most of her life.<br />
<br />
FREDDY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Did ya try anythin' on with her?<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah, I got mi hand half-way up her leg before she stopped me. After a few more times, she agreed to give me a root.<br />
<br />
FREDDY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So ya hit the jackpot?<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Nah, there was a fuckin' catch to it.<br />
<br />
FREDDY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What d'ya mean 'a catch'?<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
When she stopped mi hand the last time, she said she'd make me a deal. If I take her to a 5 star restaurant in Griffith for a night out, when we get home, I could root her all night long!<br />
<br />
FREDDY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Fair fuckin' dinkum, she said that?<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Fuckin' oath mate.<br />
<br /></div>
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
FREDDY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Are ya gonna?<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I don't know yet.<br />
<br />
FREDDY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Ya not seriously thinkin' of takin' an abbo sheila to a posh restaurant are ya?<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Well, that's the problem I've created for miself. If I take her to a restaurant, it's bound to be full of white fellas' and their wives and ya know what that's gonna' be like. They'll be starin' at us and talkin' about us all the time we're there! I can't pretend it's mi older sister or mi auntie, can I? I'm as white as a shirt washed in New Blue Star, fuckin' OMO, in comparison to her. She's as black as the Ace of Spades!<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Now, if I don't take her, she's gonna' think I'm a racist, white bastard who's ashamed to be seen with her, in a high-class restaurant, so I'm not sure what I'm gonna' do yet.<br />
<br />
FREDDY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I know ya not askin' me mate but if I was in your position, I think I'd rather be seen as a white racist bastard than a low-life Ginn jockey. Besides, even if ya weren't rootin' the old girl, they'd imagine ya were.<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah, that's what I'm thinkin'. If I don't take her after I already said I would, she'll think I'm a racist bastard, as well.<br />
<br />
FREDDY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It's a pity she's not white?<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Why'd ya say that mate?<br />
<br />
FREDDY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
'Cause if she was white, they'd think you were a granny-fucker, which at least, is one step up from a Ginn Jockey!<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I suppose you think that's fuckin' funny Freddy?,<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Freddy has a fit of laughter.) </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
Here I am, in the shit now because mi brains were in the head of mi dick last night and all you can do is extract the urine at my expense!<br />
<br />
FREDDY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Oh, I'm sorry for laughin' Yorky mate. It's just so fuckin' funny.<br />
<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
By the way Freddy, don't you dare tell old War Dog about this fiasco or I'll never hear the end of it!<br />
<br />
FREDDY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Well, all in all Yorky, after hearing about your night, I don't feel so bad about mine. At least I got a wank, with no strings attached!<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
****************************<br />
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
(After discussing this predicament with Freddy, Yorky decides not to go into Gilltraps' kitchen for an early breakfast until he can work out a good excuse for why he wouldn't be takin' Mrs. Gibson for a 5 Star meal. The excuse that keep coming up more than any other was that his old car wont make it. Once the decision is made, Yorky walks into the kitchen wearing the best smile he can, under the circumstances.)</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>(INT HOTEL KITCHEN)</b></div>
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
G'day Gibbi.<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Gibbi is stirring a pot on the stove. She turns and faces Yorky with a smile)</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
GIBBI</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
G'day Chummy, How are ya?<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Not bad Gibbi, how are you?<br />
<br />
GIBBI<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Eggs on toast do ya this morning?<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
That sounds great Gibbi. Thanks.<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> (Yorky sits there at the table, all sorts of excuses are running through his mind. What throws him for a loop is the fact that she smiles at him.)</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY (V/O)</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Maybe she still thinks I'm still gonna' take her to a posh restaurant in Griffith? What's gonna' happen when I break the bad news to her? She'll never speak to me again.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Gibbi puts put the eggs on toast in front of him)</i></div>
<br />
GIBBI<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Ya wanna' cup of tea with that Chummy?<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> (She's being so kind and sweet to Yorky that he now feels like shit inside. She puts the tea down in front of Yorky and then she passes over the milk and sugar, which he could have reached himself.)</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
GIBBI<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I think I'll have a quick cuppa' miself.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> (Gibbi pours herself a cup of tea and clears a place at the table, directly opposite Yorky.)</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY (V/O)</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Oh, fuck me dead, here it comes. I'm not lookin' forward to this little drama!<br />
<br />
GIBBI<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So how ya been since the party Chummy. Ya haven't been in for breakfast for a few days.<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No, I wasn't workin' Gibbi. I've been gettin' a bit of extra rest in the mornings.<br />
<br />
GIBBI<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Chummy, you and I need to have a bit of a chat about the other night.<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Yorky almost chokes on a bit of toast at the thought of what Gibbi is going to say to him. Gibbi still has a decent smile on her face.)</i></div>
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
That nights' partying we did together was the best fun I've had for a long time mate. I almost felt like a young girl again.<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Oh that's great Gibbi.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Yorky tries to hide the nervousness in his voice.)</i></div>
<br />
GIBBI<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah Chummy, dancing with you mate made me realize what life is all about. I've been working my arse off for so many years, bringing up 5 kids on mi own that I'd forgotten all about looking after miself.<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm happy to hear that Gibbi and I'm glad you had fun.<br />
<br />
GIBBI<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
How about you Chummy? Did you have a good time?<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah, of course I did. Parties are always good fun.<br />
<br />
GIBBI<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Do you remember our little deal we talked about before I got out'a that old bomb of yours, in front of my place?<br />
<br />
YORKY (V/O)<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Oh fuck me dead, here it comes. She'll never speak to me again after this. I've ruined a good friendship, just for feeling a bit of warm thigh!<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah, well I've been meanin' to talk to you about that Gibbi....<br />
<br />
GIBBI<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Hang on a minute Chummy, I haven't finished yet. Look Chummy, you and I are real good mates and I don't wanna' hurt ya' so I'm just gonna' blurt it out. I've changed mi mind about the deal. I'm not comfortable with it. I was full of grog when I suggested it and it sounded great at the time but it's been bothering me for the past few days. I don't wanna lead ya' on, when it's not gonna' go anywhere. I don't wanna' go to a 5 star restaurant in Griffith, and besides the place will be full of rich white fellas' and their wives. Ya can guarantee they'll be thinking, 'What's that fat old Ginn doing with that young white fella. They'll be thinking I'm a bloody cradle snatcher! I can't really pass ya off as mi cousin. Here's me, as black as the night, and here's you with skin like a pomegranate! I hope ya not too disappointed?<br />
<br />
YORKY (V/O)<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
Oh Jeesus, thank you Lord! There is a God after all! I'm off the hook and I won't come out a' this lookin' like a racist bastard!</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Well, I am a bit, Gibbi, but no worries mate. I don't wanna' hold ya to a deal ya not comfortable with.<br />
<br />
GIBBI<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
That's very gentlemanly of ya Chummy. As I said, I've been worrying miself sick since I made that stupid deal. I guess it was the grog that was talking.<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> (For fun, Yorky says to Gibbi,)</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I suppose a fuck's out of the question now, as well eh?<br />
<br />
GIBBI<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Well Chummy.<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Said with a big smile on her face) </i><br />
<i><br /></i></div>
What can I tell ya' mate, No feed no fuck! Anyway, why would ya' wanna' root a big, old black-arsed Ginn like me when there's a whole world of young, white sheilas' out there that would be glad of the opportunity.<br />
<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
In Lake Cargellligo, Gibbi? If ya' come across one, let me know will ya?<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> (They both laugh. Cath enters kitchen)</i></div>
<br />
CATH<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What are you two laughing about, so early in the morning?<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Gibbi just told me a rude joke.<br />
<br />
CATH<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Mrs. Gibson, I'm surprised at you!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> (Yorky makes a quick exit.) </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>****************</i><br />
<br />
<b>(INT YORKYS' ROOM )</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
FREDDY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So ya still takin' Mrs. Gibson for a 5 Star dinner Yorky?<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Nah mate, she dumped me. She said she was full when she made the deal.<br />
<br />
FREDDY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Oh that's a shame. Would ya like me to give me Granny a ring? I reckon I could set ya' up there, no problem at all mate!<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Git fucked Freddy!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
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</div>
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<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4725535300199715328.post-18036159353471392762020-08-21T06:39:00.000-07:002022-06-06T15:51:42.061-07:00ROMANCING NURSE NANCY...NOT!!! ©<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
ROMANCING NURSE NANCY<br />
....NOT!!! ©<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My two favorite haunts in Lake Cargelligo were Gilltraps and the Dagos' shop. Gilltraps provided me with work as that is where laboring and shearing were to be found. The Dagos' shop is where I could get a feed and the most amount of socializing, taking into account that Lake Carigelligo was a small Bush town.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
On this particular occasion, I was sat in the Dagos' shop with a good-size T-bone steak sat in front of me. A couple of eggs and extra chips turned the meal into a good Bush feed.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Jimmy Xmas's latest addition to his staff was a Dago called Sammy, who had been working there for a couple of months. Sammy was not your everyday, garden variety Dago, who spoke with a thick greek accent. He had been educated in the Aussie school system since he was 7 years old. He was 25 now. He had the standard black hair and permanent 5 O'clock shadow. His wife was 22. She was quite short with dyed blonde hair which looked really strange, owing to her black eyebrows, plus the fact that she was 7 months pregnant. The icing on the cake was a 3 year old son who could be described, in no other way than a spoiled, tantrum-throwing brat!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
G'day Yorky.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Sammy sits himself down at the booth.)</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
How are ya mate?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Not too bad Sammy. How are you?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
How's the feed?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Pretty good mate.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Good. I cooked it 'specially for you.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Well, good on you Sammy. I appreciate that mate.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Cafe door opens and a pretty, good-looking sort walks up to the counter.)</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Jeezus.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Sammy gets up from the table, in such a hurry, that he knocks over the dregs of Yorkys' cuppachino. </i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Sorry about that Yorky mate. I'll get ya another in a minute.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Although Sammy was an Aussie citizen, he still had the greasy ways of a Dago which was on full display now, as he slid behind the counter, wearing his best Dago smile.)</i></div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Nancy, how are ya love? What can I git for ya today?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Give us a pack of Styvesants and a box of Redheads.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No worries love. How's the nursing job going?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Pretty good.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Ya still like nursing eh?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I love the nursing part but the hours can be a bit of a drag at times.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Nancy gives him a smile and makes her exit.)</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Sammy brings Yorky another coffee)</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Who's that?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Sammy sits down opposite Yorky in the booth and lights up a cigarette.)</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Nurse Nancy.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Where d'ya know her from mate?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
She comes in here a lot for smokes and milkshakes. Pretty good-looking Sheila, eh mate?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Nurse Nancy was quite pretty. She had a decent size rack, slim waist, good-lookin' legs and a well-rounded arse that was not too big. </i></div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
_________________</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Yorky finishes his meal and leaves the cafe. He walks up the street to Gilltraps. Freddy is sitting on the steps finishing off a middy.)</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
FREDDY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
How are ya Yorky mate?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Not bad Freddy, how are you?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
FREDDY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Bored fucking shitless sport. There's fuck all to do in the Lake when ya not workin'.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Ya not wrong there Freddy. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
FREDDY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Come and have a beer with me mate. I hate drinkin' on mi own.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I just had a big feed mate. Where's War Dog? He's always up for a beer.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
FREDDY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Oh he's up at Keith Charmers' place fuckin' around with an old motor that he's doin' up for sale. Come on mate, just one round.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
(<i>Inside the bar Yorky and Freddy are seated at the bar. Freddy cheers up. Yorky tells him about going goat shooting with Sammy, the Dago.)</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Ya wanna' come with us mate? I'm sure Sammy won't mind. More the merrier when it comes to clearing out wild goats!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
FREDDY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Nah, fuck that for a game of tin soldiers Yorky. I'm not really keen on hunting. Besides that, I'm a lousy fuckin' shot.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Alright, just thought I'd ask ya.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Hey Freddy, When I was at the Dagos' shop, this really good-lookin' sheila came in for some smokes. Ya should have seen her mate. She's the best lookin' sheila I've seen in the Lake for a while!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
FREDDY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Did ya talk to her?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No mate, I never got the chance but I'm gonna' keep an eye out for her. Ya never know.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
FREDDY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Does she work?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Sammy told me she's a nurse up at the hospital.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
FREDDY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Jeezus Yorky, that sounds good mate. They tell me that those nurses are real go-ers.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah, I heard the same thing miself Freddy. I think I might be spendin' a bit more time at the Dagos' shop. Sammy says she comes in regular.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
__________________<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Sammy and Yorky are going to shoot feral goats on a mates property. In the car talking.)</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(He angrily shoves the gear stick into first gear.)</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This married life is driving me fucking nuts. If it's not the kid, it's the misuss.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah mate, and it's about to git worse. She's due to drop another one any day by the looks of her.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Nah, she's got another 8 weeks to go so I've still got a bit of fuckin'-around time left up mi sleeve!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Fuckin' around doin' what? Drinkin' and partying?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Drinking, partying and rootin' Yorky mate!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
How's ya missus handle the rootin' at 7 months?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm not rootin' the missus mate. I've been rooting that nurse ya saw in the shop yesterday. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Ya mean Nancy?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah mate, right first time.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Bullshit sport, no offense but I can't see any sheila in Lake Cargelligo rootin' a Dago.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Well, she's not rooting a Pommy bastard is she mate?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Ya know what Sammy, you're such a bullshittin' Dago bastard. There's no fuckin' way you're rootin' her!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Please yourself whether you believe me or not mate but I rooted her, in the back of this station wagon, last night out at the Common.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Alright Sammy, I'm not gonna' argue with you. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
_________________________</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> (Yorky decides not to bat that ball back. He is more interested in thinking about this new information he'd just got from Sammy. They drive the rest of the way to the cockys' place in silence.)</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY (V/O)</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
How could she root a greazy, fucking Dago of all people? And here's me thinkin' she's a great sheila.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
______________</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> (It's night time and Yorky is laid on his bed. Yorkys' sex-starved brain is creating all sorts of situations where he was sexually and romantically involved with nurse Nancy. The best part of the fantasy is that she is madly in love with him as much as he is with her. The worst part of the fantasy was a voice that told him that she was a slut and a whore. After all, she did fuck a dago and as everybody in the Bush knows, dagos are greezy bastards that are not to be trusted. They're only good for cooking T-bone steaks and mixed grills.</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>Back and forth, Yorkys' fantasies go bouncing between the positive and negatives, highs and lows. In the end, he feels so fucking confused that he wishes that he'd never even seen her.)</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
_________________________<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Yorky goes to the cafe for a feed at lunchtime. He's thinking about Nurse Nancy as he goes into the cafe. As soon as he pushes open the door, he can not believe his eyes. There is his one and only, the new-found love of his life, sitting at a booth with Sammy the dago. <span style="text-align: center;">Under normal circumstances, when Yorky would walk into the cafe, Sammy would call out 'Yorky, ya pommy bastard! How are ya?', and he would respond in kind. Not so today. Upon seeing Yorky, he turns his head back to face Nurse Nancy and totally ignores him.)</span></i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY (V/O)</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
'You fucking greezy wop bastard!' Is the first thought that jumped to the front of mi mind. 'The first chance I get, I'll fuckin' skin ya alive, ya dago bastard."<br />
<br />
All of this mind activity happened in less than a nano-second. Not to mention, the jealousy. 'Fuck that dago bastard', mi mind said. 'Just walk over to the table and introduce ya self!'</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> (Standing in front of the table, Yorky puts up the best smile he can)</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Sammy, how are ya mate?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(He flashes a phony smile) </i></div>
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yorky, ya pommy bastard. How are ya?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm very well, thanks Sammy.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Turns to face Nurse Nancy)</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
G'day love, Yorky's mi name. What's yours?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm Nancy. Pleased to meet ya Yorky.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Oh the pleasure is all mine love.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> (Yorky can tell from the look on Sammys' face that he's not too pleased with his charming introduction.)</i></div>
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Do you mind if I join you?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No, not at all Yorky.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Yorky turns to Sammy)</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Would you mind sliding over on the seat Sammy?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> (Sammy gets up from the table.)</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You sit on the inside so I can get out when a customer comes in.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(In truth, he wanted to sit on the outside because Nancy was sat on the outside. That way, he was still sat opposite her. There is quite a bit of tension at the table by now. )</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So where are you from Yorky?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm from the North of England. I've been in Lake Cargelligo for about 3 years now.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Minus the 5 months ya spent on the Showgrounds chasing that little blonde strip-tease sheila!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY (V/O)</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You rotten dago fucking bastard! That's it, this is fucking WAR!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>( Nancy laughs and smiles.)</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Did you catch her Yorky?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
'Course he didn't catch her but everyone else did. That's because he's a slow, pommy bastard!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Oh that's not a very polite thing to say Sammy. Maybe she already had a boyfriend.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
As a matter of fact Nancy, you are quite correct. Her boyfriend was called Samson. He had a weight-lifting act and used to lay on a bed of nails with a huge rock on his chest.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Why would he do that?, she asks, showing some interest in my show-ground exploits.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Once the rock was balanced on his chest, he invited blokes from the audience to try and smash it with a big sledge hammer.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My goodness! Why would someone do that?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Sammy jumps in to say.....)</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Because he was stupid!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The outside of his tent had a large colored banner that read, SAMSON THE GREEK GIANT. STRONGEST MAN IN THE WORLD!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Isn't that where you're from Sammy?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah, but not all greeks are stupid, which is more than I can say for Pommies.<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> ( Nancy gives a little titter, but it is obviously forced.) </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And where are you from Nancy?<br />
<br />
NANCY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm from Sydney.<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
How did you end up in Lake Cargelligo?<br />
<br />
NANCY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The Lake hospital ran an ad for a nurse because they were short-handed. I applied and lucky for me I got the job.<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Did you work as a nurse in Sydney?<br />
<br />
NANCY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah, but I was getting a bit sick of the Big Smoke. Besides that, I'd always wanted to try Bush life.<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So I take it you like working at the Hospital?<br />
<br />
SAMMY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Course she does!<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> (Nancy ignored Sammys' interjection) </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I love being a nurse but the hospital is still short-staffed so sometimes we have to do extra shifts.<br />
<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What do you do when you're not workin'?<br />
<br />
NANCY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Is there anything to do in Lake Cargelligo when one isn't working?<br />
<br />
SAMMY<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(In a feeble attempt at making a joke.)</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
Ya can always help out at the cafe.<br />
<br />
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Thanks for the offer Sammy but the last thing I need, at the moment, is more work.<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I was thinking more along the lines of fun.<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i style="text-align: left;"> (Before Sammy could get another word in, his wife appears at the back of the cafe carrying a large crate full of soda bottles. As she struggles towards the glass-fronted refrigerator, she yells out to Sammy in her squeaky dago voice.)</i><br />
<i style="text-align: left;"><br /></i>
<span style="text-align: left;">SAMMY</span><br />
<span style="text-align: left;"><br /></span>
<span style="text-align: left;"><i>(Gets up from table)</i></span><br />
<span style="text-align: left;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Got to go. Talk to ya later Nancy.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Sammy goes to help his wife who is still struggling with the crate as she tried to squeeze past the refrigerator door)</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
She doesn't sound too happy.<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
She isn't.<br />
<br />
NANCY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'd love to know what she said to him but I can't understand Greek. Can you Yorky?<br />
<br />
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah, I've picked up a bit of Greek from the odd times I've worked in the cafe for Jimmy Xmas.<br />
<br />
NANCY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Come on, out with it. What did she say?<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
She said, "Hey Sammy, how much longer are ya gonna sit on ya fat arse talking to the customers? I need some help over here!<br />
<br />
NANCY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
She really said that?<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah, fair dinkum! COLO means arse in greek. Can ya think of another sentence that would include 'arse' when you're struggling with a crate of soft drinks?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
________________<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Yorky now has his beloved Nancys' attention all to myself. Nancy and he could laugh and joke without Sammy interjecting some sarcastic remark. </i><span style="text-align: center;"><i>Sammy doesn't approve of the fun they are having. Every now and then, he would walk to the front of the cafe and pretend to be tidying something up behind the counter. At these times, Yorky would laugh a little louder than normal just to piss him off!)</i></span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
NANCY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Well yorky, regrettably I have to go. I've got some jobs to do at home before my shift starts. I also need some sleep, otherwise I'll be half asleep on the ward which won't please the Ward Sister one little bit.<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
That's a shame Nancy, seeing as we're having a good laugh but I don't want you to get into trouble.<br />
<br />
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
She'll be right Yorky. I won't get into any trouble, even half asleep, I'm good at my job.<br />
<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
(<i>Yorky blurts out)</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
Would ya like to go for a drive or something one night, after ya finish ya shift?<br />
<br />
NANCY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yes, why not. That sounds great. At least, it will be something to do. What kind of car do you have?<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It's an old A55, but it'a good for a cruise around town. What night are ya free?<br />
<br />
NANCY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Well, I'm on night shift tonight and tomorrow night, then I've got a couple of afternoon shifts where I finish at 10. So Wednesday or Thursday. Take your pick.<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
How about Thursday night? It'll give me time to clean up the old car.<br />
<br />
NANCY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Sounds great to me. I'll see ya then.<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Nancy gets up from the table)</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Oh, by the way, I've had a great time talking with ya. Hurru!<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Nancy exits the cafe)</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
(<i>Within less than a minute of Nancy's' leaving, Sammy is back at Yorkys' table with the excuse of wiping it down with the dirty cloth he's holding.)</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Are you trying to git under my neck mate? She's my girlfriend, not yours.<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
How the fuck can she be your girlfriend mate? You've already got a missus and one-and- a-half kids!<br />
<br />
SAMMY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What's that got to do with anything mate? And besides, I'm already rootin' her. She's mine!<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Fuck you Sammy, you dago bastard! Don't you try and tell me what I can and can't do. I had a step-father who was three times your size and he couldn't control what I did!<br />
<br />
SAMMY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What were ya laughin' about?<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Ya know what Sammy, under normal conditions I really like ya, but these are not normal conditions. This is fuckin' war so fuck off and mind ya own business. Go and help ya wife or Jimmy Xmas, ya makin' a nuisance out of ya self!<br />
<br />
SAMMY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Fuck you, ya pommy bastard!<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah? And fuck you ya dago dick-head!<br />
<br />
_____________</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> (Yorky leaves the cafe and makes his way up the street to Giltraps. Yorky decides to stick his head in the bar to see what was happening, if anything.)</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
FREDDY</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Freddy is sitting with War Dog at the bar)</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yorky! Come and have a middy mate.<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
G'day Freddy, how the fuck are ya mate? War Dog, how's things on the hole?<br />
<br />
WAR DOG<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(War Dog is drunk already and it's still only the afternoon.)</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Not bad on it and not bad off it.<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
How long have you blokes been here?<br />
<br />
FREDDY<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Freddy has a good glow on already also.)</i></div>
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Since about 11. I knocked on ya door earlier and tried the knob but ya obviously weren't in so I've been havin' a few with War dog.<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah, I had no work today either and I was bored shitless sittin' in mi room so I went for a walk down the street. What about you War Dog?<br />
<br />
WAR DOG<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No work. Sweet fuck-all mate! I haven't picked anything up for over a fucking week now. I can tell ya one thing for sure, it's starting to wear pretty fuckin' thin.<br />
<br />
FREDDY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Hey Yorky.Have ya seen that nurse since the last time we spoke?<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Funny you should say that mate. I just had a cuppachino with her at the dagos' shop.<br />
<br />
FREDDY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Are ya makin' any progress with her?<br />
<br />
WAR DOG<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Jumps into the conversation quickly before Yorky can answer)</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Fuck me dead, what are you chasing this time, ya pommy bastard? I know it's bound to be pussy but what color is it, black or white?<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Takes a couple of swigs from his glass)</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Very fuckin' funny War Dog. Don't you ever have anything positive to say mate?<br />
<br />
WAR DOG<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
As far as you and pussy go, what is there to say that's positive? In all the time I've known ya, ya still haven't got ya self a root.<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah well it's not for the lack of trying mate, and while we're at it, I don't see too many sheilas hanging around you War Dog.<br />
<br />
WAR DOG<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm not chasing any, that's why.<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Ya not chasing any War Dog because of ya crook knees. the only thing that you'd catch is some poor old geriatric in a fuckin' wheel chair!<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(This little joke gave Freddy a good laugh, so much so, that he nearly spat his beer out.) </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
WAR DOG</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Let's see if you're in as good a shape as me when ya get my age, ya pommy bastard.<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
We can War Dog. The only snag is, when I'm your age, you'll be six fucking feet under. You won't be around to see it mate.<br />
<br />
WAR DOG<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Fuck you ya smart-arsed pommy bastard<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah and fuck you too War Dog!<br />
<br />
WAR DOG<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I have been. Shake hands with ya dad!<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> (With this joke of War Dogs', Yorky manages to keep a straight face. Freddy, on the other hand, is having a great old laugh which pissed off War Dog.)</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
WAR DOG</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Why am I drinkin' with you two fuckin' yobos when I could be having an interesting conversation with someone at Twitcheys?<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(With that said, War Dog downs his middy, gets up off his bar stool.)</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Fuck you two dick-heads!<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(As War Dog is leaving the bar, Yorky shouts out)</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Hey War Dog, it's your round mate.<br />
<br />
WAR DOG<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Shove it up ya Kaiber Pass ya fuckin' dingbat!<br />
<br />
FREDDY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Well, you've done it again Yorky mate. I wish I could think things up as fast as you.<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Ya probably could if ya had to live my life Freddy.<br />
<br />
FREDDY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No thanks mate. I'll stick to mi own.<br />
<br />
________________</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
<br />
<br />
YORKY (V/O)<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The next three days seemed like three weeks as I waited for Thursday night to roll around. I had arranged to meet Nancy outside the Dagos' shop after her shift had finished. I'd hosed down the old A55 and cleaned up the inside. Apart from a crook engine, she didn't look too bad.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
One of Nancys' work mates dropped her off at the corner of the main street. I got out of the car and walked up the street to meet her.<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Nancy is walking towards Yorky)</i></div>
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
G'day, how are ya?<br />
<br />
NANCY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Pretty good Yorky. How are you?<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Great! Did ya have a heavy shift?<br />
<br />
NANCY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No, not really. A couple of patients went home today so there wasn't as much work to do which was quite welcome. I need to get some smokes from the cafe. D'ya mind waiting a minute?<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Not at all love, I'll come in with ya.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(They enter cafe)</i></div>
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(As they walk in the Dagos' shop, Sammy is cleaning off a few tables. As soon as he sees them, he drops the cloth into the soapy bowl and walks over to serve them. The look on his face is not very welcoming and the tone of his voice is quite flat when he says....)</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What can I get ya?<br />
<br />
NANCY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
G'day Sammy. How are ya?<br />
<br />
SAMMY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm alright. What d'ya need?<br />
<br />
NANCY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Ya don't sound too good Sammy. Ya had a hard day?<br />
<br />
SAMMY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah, I've been stock-taking all day and re-stocking the shelves.<br />
<br />
NANCY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Ah well, a good night's rest'll do ya good eh?<br />
<br />
SAMMY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah, I suppose so.<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> (It's obvious that Sammy isn't going to say G'day to Yorky)</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
How's business mate? Ya been busy apart from stock-taking?<br />
<br />
SAMMY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So-so!<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Sammy make his way around the counter.)</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So what d'ya need?<br />
<br />
NANCY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Give us a pack of Styvesants.<br />
<br />
YORKY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah, and give me a pack of Camels while ya at it mate.<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> (Nancys' smokes are put on the counter in front of her. Yorkys' are casually thrown on the counter to the side of him.)</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What are you up to tonight Nancy?<br />
<br />
NANCY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Me and Yorky are off for a cruise around town for something to do. I just finished work and I need a bit of relaxation before going home.<br />
<br />
SAMMY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Ya could've asked me. We could have gone out to the Common again.<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Well how sweet of you Sammy but I arranged to go with Yorky last time we were in here.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Ya wanna be careful that old bomb of his doesn't break down.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Does that mean you're offering us a loan of your new station wagon Sammy?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Not bloody likely mate. You'd probably run it into the Lake!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Oh I don't think Yorky's that bad a driver, are ya?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Nah. I've driven Semi-trailers full of wheat. A little 8-cylinder station wagon shouldn't be much of a problem.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Sammys' mood darkens by the minute.)</i></div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Shall we take off?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah, why not.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>As Yorky and Nancy turn to go out, she says to Sammy,)</i></div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Get a good nights rest Sammy. You'll feel a lot better tomorrow.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY)</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah, right. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Sammy turns around and heads towards the kitchen.)</i></div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
(They're walking towards the car, Yorkys' mind started to re-run what Sammy had said at the counter)</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY (flash back)</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
'You could have asked me. We could have gone out to the Common again.' </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY (V/O)</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So it's true! The dago bastard wasn't lying when he said he took her out to the Common and rooted her in the back of his station-wagon! Fuck it! I'm not gonna' be the idiot I was on the Showground<br />
with Christine the stripper and end up with mi dick in mi hand. Here I am, almost 18 and the only relationship I'd had so far was with 'Mrs. Palm and her five daughters and one of those was a fatty!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Once they were in the car, they light up some smokes and drive off up the main street.)</i></div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Poor Sammy, he was feeling a bit under the weather tonight. I hope he's alright and not coming down with something.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Oh I wouldn't worry about that. He's probably got a lot on his plate what with the cafe business and a pregnant wife.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY (V/O)</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
If the truth be known, what I would have liked to have said was 'Fuck that slimy dago bastard. I hope he falls through his arsehole and hangs himself!'</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Yorky drives around town for a while. They finally park up at the Lakeside. </i></div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
(She stares out of the windscreen, across the Lake.)</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Isn't that a beautiful glow.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah, it's very romantic. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>(Yorky remembering some old black and white movies he'd seen of couples parked up looking at a similar scene. The moon was now getting higher in the night sky, as they sit there, which caused the reflective light on the water to diminish quite a bit.)</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Would ya like to drive out to the Common for awhile? The moon will probably be a lot brighter out there, away from the town lights.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah why not. I love it out there. There's something about that place that gives off a peaceful feeling.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY (V/O)<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
We drive out to the Common, mostly in silence. I, for one, was thinking about what was going to happen. Nancy was a pretty decent sort of sheila but the fact that she rooted a dago colored my thinking in one way only. How was I going to git a root out of her?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It didn't take long to reach our destination. Once there, I looked for a somewhat secluded space where no one could see the car and we could still see the moon. My plan of action was first, to have a bit of a kiss and a cuddle and then slowly make mi way down to the jackpot! The kissing and cuddling part seemed to be going quite well as Nancy responded in a warm and affectionate way.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I had put a lot of thought into this plan of action of mine. Instead of putting mi hand straight on her knee, I slid mi hand down her back and slowly rubbed the top part of her butt cheek, whilst still giving her a big, long snog!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY (V/O)</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The voice in mi head told me I was making good progress so I allowed mi hand to slide down a bit further till I was actually squeezing her arse cheek. There was a lot of sexual tension starting to build up on the front seat of mi old car now. I slowly slid mi hand down further to the top part of her thigh and gently squeezed it. My mind, by this time, was at least a couple of steps in front of mi hand. So far no problem at all. Slowly, I inched mi hand up the outside of her thigh and down to the inside warm, soft part.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
'You'd better not move too fast now.' 'Keep ya hand there for a while until she gets used to it.'</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This was the closest I'd ever gotten to a root in mi life. Once false move now and it could all be over! Patience, as a young man, was not one of my virtues. Ignoring the mind, I slid mi had a little further up the inside of her thigh. By my reckoning, I only had about another four inches to go before I would get mi first feel of the 'elusive prize'!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY (V/O)</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
'Old War Dog won't be able to take the piss out of ya after tonight. This is gonna stop his bullshit in its tracks.'</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
(No sooner had that thought come up, I felt a warm hand on top of mine which proceeded to slide my hand back down to her knee. The next emotion I felt was great disappointment, mixed with a good dose of anger. 'Fuck me Rome', I thought as mi hand was back where it started. 'What the fuck went wrong? This part of the game was not in the plan. My hand was supposed to be heading up, not</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
down!' )</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
After trying several more times to reach a higher part of her thigh, with no luck at all, Yorky stops kissing her.)</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Let's have a smoke.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Once the smokes were going Yorky just sits there quietly looking out of the windscreen, not knowing what to do or say. His mind was now racing around at top speed, telling him that he wouldn't get a fuck in a brothel with a wallet-full of money. Yorky decides to confront Nancy about the nights lack of progress. He's just about to say something when she speaks first.)</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Ya don't seem too happy, is something wrong?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Yorky blurts out, not being able to hide his anger and disappointment.)</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You've got to be fucking joking! I thought we came out here for a good time.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I thought we WERE having a good time? </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(She says with a surprised look on her face.)</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
We were, till you put the kibosh on it!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What d'ya mean by that?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You know what I mean. I thought we were gonna go all the way. I wasn't planning to drive out here just for a kiss and a cuddle!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What were you planning then?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Yorky is feeling awkward and doesn't know how to express himself.)</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You know. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Do you mean you were planning on having sex with me?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Well seeing as you mention it, why not?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Because I thought we were just driving out here for something to do and maybe a bit of kissing and petting.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Oh bullshit Nancy! Ya get in mi car and agree to drive out here at this time of night and when we get out here all ya wanna do is kiss and cuddle, which I don't mind as long as it leads somewhere!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I just don't understand why you think I'm that type of girl?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Sammy!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What about Sammy?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I got the idea from Sammy. He said you drove out here with him and he rooted ya in the back of his station wagon. I got to thinking, if you rooted a fucking dago, what's wrong with givin' me one?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Fuck you!! Sammy is a lying sack a' shit. I never let him go that far.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Yorky is surprised at her outburst. )</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What reason would he have to lie to me for?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I don't know and I don't fucking care. I never rooted him!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But you admit ya let him get, at least, as far as I got?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I don't believe I'm hearing this. How far I let a man go is my business and my business alone!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Alright then, If ya didn't go all the way with him and ya certainly didn't go all the way with me then you're nothin' but a prick teaser!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Ya know what, you're a real fucking bastard Yorky. Even if I did root Sammy, which I didn't, why should I root you?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
Well, for one thing m<span style="text-align: center;">i balls are swollen and sore. I suppose a fuck is right out of the question now is it?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="text-align: center;"><i>(Said half-jokingly!</i></span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Your swollen testicles are your problem, not mine. And yes, a fuck, as you call it, is right out of the question!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So, you're gonna' sit there and tell me that it never occurred to you that I'd try to git a root our of ya?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah! That's what I'm telling ya.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I don't believe ya. It must have, at least, crossed ya mind?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Don't tell me what crosses my mind. You need to take care of your own fucking sick mind!<br />
<br />
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You're trying to tell me that all of this, that's goin' on, is all my fault and nothing to do with you at all?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah, that's right. And while we're at it, take me home!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Ya know what Nancy? It takes two to tango and since it's pretty obvious we're not gonna' tango, ya can fuckin' walk home! Git out of my car ya prick-teasing bitch!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I beg your pardon, did I just hear right? You're gonna' make me walk home?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Right, first time! Either cock it up or start walking. Maybe you'll think twice before conning another mug into your little romantic game!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Yorky leans across her knees and opens the catch on the car door, Sound of creaking when door opens on a rusty hinge.)</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You're serious aren't you?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah, mi sore balls and your sore feet will make a good match. Now get out before I fuckin' drag ya out!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(In a panicked voice)</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What if I get lost?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Just follow the dirt track. It'll come out this side of the bitumen. Make a left and you'll be home in no time!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Nancy gets out of the car. She slams the door, defiantly, so hard, the window-winder ends up on the floor Viewed in the rearview mirror, Nancy disappears in a cloud of bull-dust.)</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
____________________________________</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Yorky heads down the corridor to his room in the Hotel. Yorky is about to go inside when Freddy come out from his room with a can of beer in his hand.)</i></div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Where ya off to Freddy?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
FREDDY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
G'day Yorky, how are ya mate?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Where ya goin'?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
FREDDY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I was off to War Dogs' room to see if he wanted a beer.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Ah fuck him Freddy, grab a couple of tinnies and come to my room mate. It'll be more fun!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
FREDDY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Ya wanna come in my room mate?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Have ya cleaned it up yet?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
FREDDY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Not yet, I'm still thinking about it.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I think my room might be a bit more comfortable mate.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
FREDDY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah, I guess ya right. I was never much of a housekeeper, at the best of times.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
FREDDY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Ya just got back from ya date with that hot nurse?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah, I'll tell ya all about it over a beer.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
FREDDY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Alright Yorky mate, give us the skinny on ya big night out.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Yorky and Freddy sitting in Yorkys room talking)</i></div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
FREDDY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Fuck me blind Yorky mate, you're fair dinkum aren't ya. Ya really kicked the prick-teaser out and made her walk home?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Fuckin' oath mate.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
FREDDY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Ya reckon if we sat on Giltraps steps for half hour or so we'd probably see her walking down the main street at some point?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Guaranteed mate, but I've seen enough of her for one night. In fact, I'm not lookin' forward to seeing her again.<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
_________<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
( <i>The way I related the story of my night out with Nurse Nancy was extremely funny but after Freddy left and I laid down on mi bed, in the privacy of mi room, it was time to get more truthful </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>with miself.)</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY (V/O)</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
All my life I've always been able to bullshit and exaggerate a good story. That said, I've never been able to bullshit and lie to miself. I decided to start the post-mortem of my dead relationship with Nurse Nancy from the very beginning, which of course started off with, I now believed was, a fuckin' lie told to me by Sammy the fuckin' dago.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Tomorrow I would confront the dago bastard and get to the truth of the matter. Tonight, it was my responsibility. My first thought was why I felt pangs of guilt for the way I acted. Had Sammy not told me he rooted her I would have seen Nancy in a much different light. Knowing myself pretty well, I would have probably asked her to go to dinner with me at George and Marys' Cafe. If I had gone that route I would've seen her as a potential girlfriend instead of a 'root and a dump'.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
That was my first mistake and lesson. I needed to learn to never believe a word anyone ever tells me without doing what I could to verify the truth. I was still too fucking naive where women were concerned.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I thought about what my mother taught me as a boy. 'Never disrespect women son. Only weak men do things like that'. Thinking about her words, I felt like a weak piece of shit who had let down my mother, Nancy and myself.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
That left me feeling really guilt-ridden and not too proud of what I had done. I tried to justify my behavior by telling myself, 'serve the bitch right for agreeing to go out to the Common with me. What else did she expect?'</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
That little feel good thought didn't quite get off the ground as another voice said, 'Yeah, that's what rapist and murderers say in their defense, when they're caught!' It didn't take long for me to abandon that line of defense, not to mention the fact that it made me feel worse.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
(INNER VOICE V/O)<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
'What about the two beers I had before I met her tonight? Before I could even get to the end of that thought, another thought said, 'Ya not gonna' try and blame a couple of beers on what happened tonight are ya? If that's the case, you should stop drinkin' grog. 'What about her responsibility? That's her problem, not yours. Don't try and dump the blame on her.'</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
'Why don't ya just cut ya dick off? Problem solved!' 'Why don't you git fucked!', said mi dick. 'Besides being the stupidest thought you've ever had, you'll have to sit down for a piss and ya know what that means don't ya? No more tryin' to sign ya name on the piss house wall before ya run out a' piss!' All in all, the obvious made itself as clear as crystal to me. There was no other legitimate option but to do my best to meet up with her again and apologize for my behavior, especially the walking home part.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Yorky turns out the light and goes to bed.)</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY (V/O)</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Oh Jesus, my balls are so swollen and sore. Now what? </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
INNER VOICE (V/O)</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Oh shut the fuck up! You're nothin' but a whingin', pommy bastard. Just flog ya maggot and be done with it! It won't be the first time'. The way you're goin' about this girl-friend situation, it looks like it won't be the last. Good Night!'</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
________________</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> (Next morning, Yorky takes off down the street to have it out with Sammy the dago. Yorky walks into the cafe. Sammy is no where to be seen. Yorky makes his way to the kitchen area at the back of the room. Jimmy Xmas is putting a couple of eggs on some toast.)</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
G'day Jimmy. How are ya mate?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
JIMMY XMAS</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Not-a the bad Yorky mate. What can I do you for? You want-a the eggs for the breakfast? You make them for yourself. You know where everything is.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Thanks, but no thanks Jimmy. Is Sammy around?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
JIMMY XMAS</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
How I supposed to know where-a that lazy bastard is? Maybe he hiding out-a the back somewhere. All I know is Jimmy the Xmas, he get-a left all-a the time to do-a all of the work. You go out-a the back and look-a for him yourself. Jimmy the Xmas, he eat-a the breakfast now while he still have-a the time.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Thanks Jimmy.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
__________________________________</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Yorky walks through the kitchen to the outside back area. Outside, he finds Sammy hosing out a couple of containers)</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Hey Sammy.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Sammy looks up.)</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You and me need a bit of a natter mate!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Sammy realizes from the tone of his voice that he was not in best of moods.)</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I don't have time now mate. I've got a lot of work to do today.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No worries mate, I'll just talk while you work. It's about Nancy!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Soon as Yorky mentions Nancy, Sammy straightens up)</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Not here mate. It's too close to my living quarters, the missus might hear. Over here, it's a bit more private. So what d'ya want?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You fuckin' lied to me about Nancy mate! You told me ya rooted her out at the Common, the other night.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Bullshit! I did root her on the back seat just as I told ya'!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You're a fuckin' lyin' sack a' shit Sammy. All she gave ya was a kiss and a cuddle!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Nah mate. She gave me a root.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Fuckin' bullshit Sammy!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
How do you know what she gave me? You weren't there!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I didn't have to be there sport! I did the next best thing, I asked her. She said you're a lyin' dago bastard. Ya never rooted her!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Well of course she's gonna' say that. She's not gonna' admit that to you is she? Anyway, why d'ya have to go and tell her what I said?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Because she wouldn't give me a root mate, when I tried it on with her last night.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Ah, that's because she likes me better than you, ya pommy bastard.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So ya still claim that you rooted her mate? Well, try this on for size. One of the last things she said to me before I kicked her out of the car and made her walk home was that you've slandered her name and she's coming down to the Cafe to have it out with ya. If ya still persist in claiming ya rooted her, she's gonna' complain to ya missus.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> (Sammy is rattled at this statement!)</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Bullshit, she wouldn't dare!"</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Look at my face Sammy, unlike you, I'm not a fuckin' liar!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Did you really make her walk home?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah, we drove out to the Common and parked up for awhile. Once it was obvious to me that she wasn't goin' to give me a root, I asked her why she rooted you, and what was wrong with giving me one!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Oh fuck! What the fuck am I gonna' do now? What if she really does come down to the cafe and wants to see Christina?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Ya got a root out of her, or so you say. I guess you'll have to face the consequences.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Fuck that for a joke, Christina will hit the fuckin' roof, all for a snog and a cuddle!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What d'ya mean a snog and a cuddle? That's what I got. You got a good, old-fashioned root off her.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No, I didn't!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah, ya did Sammy! That's what you told me anyway.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I was bullshittin' ya mate.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Ya mean ya were fucking lyin' your arse off to me. Big notin' ya self just to put ya self one rung on the ladder above me?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Nah mate, it's called bullshittin'.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No it's fuckin' not Sammy! Bullshit only lasts for a short time and then ya admit ya bullshitted and everyone has a good laugh. You outright lied to me with a straight face and now you're in the shit big time sport!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Fuck me dead Yorky mate! What an I gonna' do now? Will you lie for me if she comes to the cafe and tell Christina that you made it all up?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Jeezus Sammy, you're a real piece a fuckin' work aren't ya! First up, ya tell me a big, fuckin' lie and now ya want me to lie for ya so you don't get in the shit with ya missus! Have you any fucking idea how much shit I'm in with Nancy now, based on your fuckin' lies mate? I treated her worse than a bloody whore. Whores get paid and I never even offered her a brass razoo. Plus, I threw her out a the car and called her a fuckin' prick teaser!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> (Sammy is stunned and is close to tears as he contemplates the situation he now finds himself in.)</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It's alright for you, Yorky mate. You're single. Ya don't have a wife to answer to.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Oh Sammy, you're not tryin' to put the blame on mi for all of this bullshit drama are ya?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No, no mate. I'm fuckin' panicking! What the fuck am I gonna do?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I don't know mate. That's your problem. My problem was believing you, ya lyin' bastard. I'm not blaming you for what happened. I admitted my part in it to miself last night when I got home but I'll tell ya one thing for sure mate, I'll never believe another fuckin' word you tell me, unless I check it out for miself. When push comes to shove, you pretty much fucked up our friendship sport!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Don't be like that Yorky. It's times like this that a bloke needs a good mate!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Good mates bullshit Sammy but they don't drop their mate in the shit with outrageous fuckin' lies!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah mate, I know you're right but that doesn't help me does it? What d'ya think I should do now?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Let me ask ya a question mate. Do you ever think of anyone else other than ya self? My feeling is, if ya did, ya wouldn't have let the lie stand for so long, without tellin' me the truth.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah, yeah, ya fuckin' right again Yorky. The missus is always telling me what a selfish bastard I am. I guess the possibility of fuckin' up mi marriage is proving her right. Yorky mate, I apologize to ya. I was jealous of ya because you're single and can hit up the sheilas' any time ya like and my single life is over since I got married.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So why d'ya get married in the first place, if ya like chasing sheilas so much?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I had to get married mate. Christina was in the family way and if ya get a greek girl pregnant ya gotta marry her or die!"</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Alright Sammy this is what I'm gonna' do mate. I'm gonna' find out what shift Nancy's on and what time she finishes. Then I'm gonna' drive up to the hospital and wait for her to come out. If I can get</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
within 10 feet of her, I'm gonna' apologize for being an immature, mongrel bred, pommy bastard.<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Would ya consider puttin' in a good word for me while ya at it mate?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No fuckin' way! I'll tell her that you admitted to me that you were lying and you're not going to repeat the story again!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Good on ya Yorky. You're a bloody good mate. I won't make the same mistake again, that's for fuckin' sure. Just the thought of Christina finding out I fucked around on her almost makes mi puke with fear! Ya can't imagine what her father would do to me if he ever found out I disgraced his only daughter. Cutting my nuts off would be a fuckin' blessing!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
That's a bit heavy duty isn't it mate?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAMMY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Not if ya ever met him. To say he has a connection to the Greek underworld would be a bloody understatement, if ya know what I mean!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
_______________ </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Yorky decides to talk to Nancy. He's waiting in his car for Nancy to walk out the hospital door. He sees Nancy and gets out of his car and heads over to her direction. As he gets within speaking distance of her, Nancy sees him.)</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I don't believe what I'm seeing! What are you doing here? Looking for a root and dump, or a one-way ticket to the Common? Get out of my sight. If I ever see you again in my life, it will be too bloody soon!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Nancy, I just need a couple of minutes of your time. I'd like to apologize for my behavior the other night.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Well goody-goody for you! Now ya can piss off back to the rock ya crawled out from under!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Nancy, give me a minute and let me explain.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Why? So you can feel good about ya self again?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Listen, I accept full responsibility for my actions. What a dick-head I was for treating you that way. I'd also like to say that I wasn't entirely to blame other than being stupid enough to listen to Sammys' lies about you.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Don't mention that dago bastards name in my company. He's going to get a mouthful from me the next time I see him and I don't care whether his wife hears me or not!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I went to confront him about his lies and eventually he admitted that he'd made most of it up."</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And that's supposed to make everything better is it?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No, no way. I'm just lettin' ya know, he's shittin' himself that you're gonna tell his missus.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So he should be! By the time I'm finished with him, he won't be slandering anymore women's names.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Once again, I'm really sorry I treated ya like shit. It won't happen again.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Ya not wrong there Yorky. It won't ever happen again, I can assure you of that. Oh, before I go, let me give you a something to think about. I really liked you when I first met you and I was actually thinking that if we got on together, after some time, we could have had a physical relationship but that's totally out a the question now. Ya well and truly blew that!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah, I understand Nancy. I guess being friends is also not gonna' happen eh?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NANCY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I don't think so. Ya know what, I gotta' go. I don't have any more time for you!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Nancy finishes what she wants to say to Yorky and turns away, walks over to the car where her friend had been waiting for her.)</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>_________________________</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>(Yorky's sitting on his bed in his hotel room. There's a knock on the door.)</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
FREDDY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yorky? Ya in there mate?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah Freddy. It's open. Come in.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
FREDDY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
How are ya' Yorky mate? How did the meeting with ya hot nurse go?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Just as I expected, up to shit bonza! She was really pissed off.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
FREDDY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Never mind mate. There's plenty more fish in the sea.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
YORKY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Well Freddy, if we lived on the coast that might be the case, but the fact is we live in the Bush where there's a definite lack of water and a sad lack of pussy!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
FREDDY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yeah, I guess ya right Yorky mate. Anyways, who wants to fuck a fish. Let's go and have a beer sport. That'll cheer ya up!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
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<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4725535300199715328.post-49510486265845283412020-02-19T12:30:00.041-08:002022-07-05T10:12:19.479-07:00MATES..XXXX<style type="text/css">
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<span class="s1"><i></i></span><br /></div>
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<span class="s1"><b>CHARLEVILLE</b></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><i></i></span><br /></div>
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<span class="s1"><i>Shearers don't always shear..when it rains they are forced to do other kinds of work or travel hundreds of miles to find a shed where it isn't raining..</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: 700;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="s1"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>MATES-MAN-SHIP</b></div>
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<span class="s1">CHARACTERS:</span></div>
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<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
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<span class="s1">Yorky</span></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Jeff</span></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Darryl</span></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Fat Yabo</span></div>
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<span class="s1">Bill the contractor</span></div>
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<span class="s1">Young Aborigine woman</span></div>
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<span class="s1">Mother of young woman</span></div>
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<span class="s1">Aborigines in bar</span></div>
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<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">LOCATIONS:</span></div>
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<span class="s1">Int. vehicles</span></div>
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<span class="s1">Int. hotel</span></div>
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<span class="s1">Ext: Hotel</span></div>
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<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Int. Caravan</span></div>
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<span class="s1">YORKY (V/O)</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<div class="p7">
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<span class="s1">I had a full tank of juice and a few bucks to spare and a long trip ahead of me. I was on the highway to St.George now and it was pissin’ down with rain. There was no lack of semi-trailers heading to their destinations. Every time one passed mi old station wagon, it kicked up a water spray so big that I had to slow down to make sure I didn’t run off the road. It was one of the worst nights drives I had ever experienced. Little did I know things were not going to improve.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="s1">>>>>>>>>>>>>>></span></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">The contractor had given me directions on the phone of how to find the cockys’ shed. I had<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>my hand-drawn map on the dashboard so I didn’t<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>miss a turn off otherwise I’d end up lost on some dirt-track road out in the middle of nowhere, out of petrol.</span></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">At long last I saw the shed off in the distance which, let me tell you, was a very welcome sight. It was about 6 O’clock in the morning when I pulled up outside the shearers’ quarters. When I opened the door to get out of the station wagon I noticed how stiff mi legs and back were. As I did a couple of stretches, a bloke sauntered out of the cook house and walked over to where I was parked.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
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<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">BILL THE CONTRACTOR</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">(Extends hand)</span></div>
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<span class="s1">G’day mate. I’m Bill, the contractor. you must be Yorky.</span></div>
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<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
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<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
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<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
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<span class="s1">Yeah, that’s right mate.</span></div>
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<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
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<span class="s1">BILL</span></div>
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<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
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<span class="s1">Jesus sport, you must be fuckin’ broke drivin’ all the way up here in this stinkin’ fuckin’ weather?</span></div>
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<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
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<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
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<span class="s1">Ya not wrong there Bill. It was a case of driving up here for two days work or sittiin’ on mi arse in Moree pub goin’ broke.</span></div>
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<span class="s1">BILL</span></div>
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<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
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<span class="s1">Well, I’m glad ya made it safe and sound mate but I got a bit a’ bad news for ya. The Cockey fucked up and didn’t get the sheep in the shed in time so the blokes voted ‘em out as wet!</span></div>
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<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
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<span class="s1">YORKY<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
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<span class="s1">Oh for fucks sake! Ya mean I’ve driven all the way up here for fuckall?</span></div>
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<span class="s1">BILL</span></div>
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<span class="s1">Well, not quite mate. We got enough dry ones for two runs.</span></div>
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<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
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<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
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<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
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<span class="s1">Oh well, that’ll have to do.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
</div>
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<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
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<span class="s1">BILL</span></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">It’s better than a poke in the eye with the burnt end of a forty stick Yorky mate. Anyway, go get ya self some breakfast and a hot cuppa’. The cook’s about to serve up.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">YORKY (V/O)</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Fuck me rome, I thought to myself, as I walked over to the cook house. An all-night drive for four hours work. What fuckin’ else can go wrong?</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"><><><><><></span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Before that thought could drift away like a cloud in the sky, down the rain came again, only this time it was heavier than ever. Over breakfast, I introduced myself to a few of the other shearers and then made mi way over to the shed. Once inside, another lovely surprise awaited me. Big wooly, wrinkly wethers!<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">YORKY (V/O) Cont’d</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Fuck me dead! Wouldn’t that root ya fuckn’ boot! I’ll be flat-out gettin’ 30 a run in these mongrel bred bastards!</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">(Yorky walks over to young bloke loading up his gear on one of the stands.)</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">G’day mate. Which is the spare stand?</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">JEFF</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Couple down from me sport. Number 6.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Good on ya’.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">(The young bloke loads his gear. He saunters over to where Yorky is and sticks out his hand.)</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">JEFF</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">What’s ya name sport? Mine’s Jeff.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Yorky, good to meet ya’ Jeff.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">(They shake hands.)</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">JEFF</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Where the fuck did you come from in this weather Yorky?</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">I drove all night from Moree.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">JEFF</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Jesus Christ mate, that’s a fuckin’ long way to drive for a couple of runs!</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Yeah, well the contractor said he had a couple of days work and there’s fuck all happening around the Moree area.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">JEFF</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">What was it like drivin’ into the cockeys’ place on those dirt tracks this morning?</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Not too fuckin’ good Jeff. I nearly lost it a couple of times and I’m used to wet dirt roads.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">JEFF</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Fuck me, if it was that bad when you drove in, we may end up stuck here till she dies out a bit.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Don’t fuckin’ tell me that Jeff. I’ve had a hard enough time gettin’ here. That’s the last fuckin’ thing I wanna’ hear!</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">JEFF</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Yeah, I know mate, but this Queensland bush country can be pretty treacherous. It’s all black soil around these parts.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">YOKRY</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Meanin’ what mate?</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div></div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">JEFF</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">It’s a bastard in wet weather. It sticks to the tires and build up under the wheel arch. Ya gotta’ stop and dig it out then or it will fuck up the diff!</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Ya got anymore good fuckin’ news mate?</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">(They laugh. Jeff walks back to his his stand. Yorky loads his hand piece.)</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">YORKY V/O</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">I like that bloke. He’s got a good sense of humor.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">(Bell rings. Yorky pulls out his first sheep.)</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">YORKY V/O<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>(Cont’d)</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">These bastards are not going to be money for old rope!</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">(Yorky shearing.)</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">(Yorky smokes and sits on the board with the rest of the shearers. Washes up a couple of combs and a few cutters for grinding. Jeff walks over and sits down.)</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">JEFF</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">So where ya headin’ after lunch Yorky?</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">I’m fucked if I know Jeff. I’m all out of ideas.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">JEFF</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Why don’t we travel together mate. We’ve got a much better chance of gettin’ out’a here alive.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Sounds good to me. Ya got ya own vehicle?</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="s1"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">JEFF</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Yeah mate, if ya can call it that. She’s a fuckin’ old Falcon on her last legs but she hasn’t let me down yet.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">(With no more sheep to shear the contractor declares the shed over.)</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">YORKY (V/O)</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Three and a half hours shearing in woolly fuckin’ wethers for an all night drive from Moree to the black blocks of St. George! What a bastard! My main concern is now gettin’ out of this shit-hole.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">(The shearers are all paid off. A few of the shearers discuss how they’re going to get back onto the bitchumen. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Two convoys of cars leave the shearing shed in the rain. Everyone is covered in mud and soaking wet. When they get onto the main road, Yorky goes up to Jeffs’ car and speaks with him,)</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">What d’ya wanna’ do now mate?</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">JEFF</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Well, I was shearing around these parts last year so I reckon our best bet would be to head towards Charleville. Once it dries up we'll pick up a pen there. No Worries. I know a couple of contractors that I shore for last season.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>That sounds pretty fuckin’ good to me Jeff.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">(The 2 cars follow each other to the nearest watering hole and stop for a few beers)</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">JEFF</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">(Sitting at bar talking)</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Charleville’s full of fuckin’ Yobos’ mate. We’ll<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>have to fuckin’ watch each others backs.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div></div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Ya’ want another beer?<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">JEFF</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Might as well. We’re not goin’ anywhere till this storm ceases up a bit.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">EXT - EVENING - SAME DAY - OUTSIDE HOTEL IN PARKING LOT)</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">(Yorky and Jeff get their cars ready for sleeping in.)</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">INT - MORNING - LOOKING OUT WINDSCREEN OF CAR.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">YORKY V/O</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">The whole place looks like a lake!</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">(Yorky goes over to Jeffs’ car and tries to wake up Jeff by banging on the roof of his car. Jeff wakes up and winds his window down half-way.)</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">JEFF<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">(Groggy voice)</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Jeezus mate, what time is it?<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">It’s 6:30 mate. Ya gettin’ up or not?<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">JEFF</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Yeah, I suppose I’d better. I feel a bit crook from the grog last night. Mi<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>mouth tastes like a mob of Galahs’ took a shit in it! Ya got any XXXX in the back of your station wagon?</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Yeah, I got the rest of that 6-pack we bought at closin’ time.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">JEFF</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Good on ya Yorky mate. Ya think ya could find ‘em and crack a couple for us? I’m not firin’ on all 6 yet!</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">No worries mate. I know where they are.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">(Yorky returns from his car with the beers. After they finished off a couple of tinnies Yorky says to Jeff)</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Let’s have a look around and see if we can find a Dago shop. I need a hot cuppa’ and something to eat. All we had to eat last night was potato chops and salted peanuts washed down with one too many beers!</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">JEFF</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Yeah, I suppose a bit of tucker wouldn’t go astray.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">(Yorky and Jeff finish breakfast they head out to Charleyville. The rain has slowed down somewhat. When they arrive in Charleyville they head to the hotel that Jeff did most of his drinking at the previous year)</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">INT - BAR - LATE AFTERNOON</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Ya gonna’ give that contractor a ring and see what he’s got goin’?</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">JEFF</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">No worries Yorky. I’ll do it now before I get too pissed.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Ya got any idea where we’re gonna’ camp?</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="s1"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">JEFF</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">I sure have mate. Soon as I get done callin’ the contractor, we’ll book into this caravan park where I camped last year. It’s not much and it’s a bit rough but it beats sleepin’ on the back seat of mi car. Get another round in Yorky, I’ll be back shortly.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">(Jeff goes to the pay-phone and then returns to the bar.)</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">How d’ya go Jeff? Was the contractor home?</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">JEFF</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Yeah, no worries mate. We got a start at a station called Wonbin. It’s somewhere between here and Quilpie. Now all we gotta’ do is sit out this fuckin’ rain and wait for the sheep to dry out.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">INT BAR - TV ON - WEATHER REPORT</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">WEATHER REPORTER ON TV</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Charleville is now cut of from all the main roads due to flash-flooding!”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">JEFF</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">This fuckin’ weathers’ not lookin’ too good Yorky. We may be stuck here for a couple of weeks!</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">I fuckin’ hope not Jeff. At the rate we’re goin’ I’ll be outta’ money in 3 or 4 days!<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">JEFF</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">No worries mate. I’ve got enough to keep us goin’ for maybe a week. It depends on how hard we hit the grog.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Maybe we ought to slow down a bit then.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">JEFF</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Fuck that for a joke Yorky. What else are we gonna’ do if we don’t drink? Sit in that tin can they call a caravan, staring at the walls?</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">EXT - HOTEL - EVENING</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">(Yorky and Jeff are sitting outside on a bench after the bar has closed. They are eating hamburgers and drinking beer.)</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">(A broken down ute rounds the corner on 2 wheels and comes to an abrupt halt right in front of Yorky and Jeff. On the back of the use was a metal crate with half-a-dozen yobos, waving shot guns around.)</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">FAT YOBO</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">G’day</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">(A face full of stubble. A double-barrel shotgun in one hand and in his other hand is a tinnie, He’s wearing an old singlet and a pair of stubbies. His gut, which is covered in hair, sticks out<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>like dogs’ balls)</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">JEFF</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">G’day. How are ya?<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">FAT YOBO</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Pretty good.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">JEFF</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">What’s the spotlight and double barrels for? Ya goin’ pig shootin’?</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">FAT YOBO</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">We’re huntin’ bungs tonight! We’re chasin’ a couple of coons in an old Holden. Did they drive past ya?</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">JEFF</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Nah mate. We’ve been sat here for the past half-hour. We haven’t seen any abbos’<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>in a Holden.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">FAT YOBO</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Where ya blokes from? What are ya doin’ in our town?<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">We’re shearers from New South.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">FAT YOBO</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">No worries then mate. We don’t mind shearers, long as ya not coon lovers.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">JEFF</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Not us. We’re<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>just mindin’ our own business, eatin’ a burger and havin’ a quiet beer.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">FAT YOBO</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">No worries then Sport. Do us a favor and let us know if they drive down this street. We’ll be back around here in an hour or so.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">JEFF</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Ya fair dinkum about shootin’ ‘em?</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">FAT YOBO</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Fuckin’ oath mate. There’s too many of the black bastards around Charleyville for<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>my likin’ and besides, this town belongs to us white fellas’ not those fuckin’ bungs!<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>See ya around.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">(Truck drives up street shining the 12 Volt spotlight up and down)</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Fuck me dead! Ya think they’re fair dinkum Jeff?</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">JEFF</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Fuckin’ oath mate, let’s head off before the inbred bastards come back. I don’t wanna’ get on the wrong side of these retards!</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"><><><><></span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">YORKY V/O</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">INT - BAR<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">My situation is as bleak as the weather. I’m down to a full middy, a packet of Drum and papers and 78 cents change in mi pocket.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>YORKY<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>(Cont’d)</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Hey Jeff, ya got any ideas what we’re goin’ to do for money? Ya think ya family could wire us some money?<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">JEFF</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">No mate. I don’t get along with mi old man and I’m too proud to ask him.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Doesn’t he have a farm in Victoria?</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">JEFF</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Yeah, he does mate. That’s the problem.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">What d’ya mean?</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">JEFF</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">He’s pissed off big time because he wants me to stay at home and help him work on the farm instead of cruising around all over the Outback as a shearer. We had a big stinkin’ row the last time I was home so we’re not speaking to each other. I’m off to the dunny Yorky.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">(Jeff leaves)</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="s1"><<<>>></span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">(Yorky sits at the bar contemplating his dire situation. A voice calls out.)</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">DARRYL</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">(Soaking wet)</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Yorky, ya bastard! How are ya mate?</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">(Yorky turns to see who it is.)</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Jesus H. Christ, Darryl! Am I fuckin’ glad to see you.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">DARRYL</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">How are ya Yorky. I didn’t expect to see you sat at the bar in Charleville!</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Where the fuck did you come from Darryl? Why are ya soaked to the skin?</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">DARRYL</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">I’ve been shearin’ at a shed about a hundred miles from here but they declared it due to wet sheep.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Ya got any money Darryl?</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div></div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">DARRYL</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Fuckin’ oath mate, I’ve been knocking out some good tally for the last three weeks.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Ya got enough to lend me a few bucks? I’m fuckin’ broke. I’ve got 78 cents to mi name.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">DARRYL</span></div></div><div class="p6">
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">No worries mate, I'm rollin' in it. How much d'ya want $50 -$100?</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Can ya spare a hundred?</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">DARRYL</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">For you Yorky mate, no worries.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">YORKY (V/O)</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">I had to swallow a big lump in mi throat or I would have probably cried.</span></div>
<div class="p3" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p4" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">How come ya so fuckin' wet and covered in mud? D'ya get bogged?</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">DARRYL</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Yeah, a couple of times. This black soil up here is a bastard when it's wet.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">I take it ya got it out.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">DARRYL</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Yeah, eventually. I thought it was gonna be a clear run into Charleville, till I got to the river.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">So how d'ya get the car across?</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">DARRYL</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">I didn't mate. I had to leave it on the other side with all mi gear.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">How d'ya get across then?</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">DARRYL</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">I fuckin' swam.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Ya kiddin’.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">DARRYL</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">No way mate. I stuffed a few things in the back-pack, then I wrapped mi money in a plastic bag. I wasn't gonna' sit on the other side of the river when the hotel's on this side.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Weren't ya worried about gettin' swept away?</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">DARRYL</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Fuckin' oath I was. I walked up and down to find a narrow spot, then I waded in and swam like fuck. I ended up about half-a-mile down from where I went in.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Was it scary?</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">DARRYL</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Too fuckin' right mate. There were a lot of dead branches and logs being swept down. Finish ya beer Yorky, it's my shout.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p5" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">(Jeff returns to the bar and Yorky introduces Darryl to Jeff. They sit there having a good old natter about days gone by.</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">DARRYL</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Oh Jesus, I was so happy to see ya Yorky, I almost forgot. Here's a $100. If ya need anymore let me know.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Good on ya Darryl, you're a fuckin' great mate.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">DARRYL</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">No worries Yorky, you'd do the same for me mate.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Yeah, I would Darryl, any day.</span></div>
<div class="p4" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p4" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p4" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s2"> (</span><span class="s1">Darryl downs another beer)</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">DARRYL</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Yorky mate, I'll catch up with ya later on tonight. I'm gonna' book a room. I need a hot shower and a couple of hours sleep.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Ya got any dry clothes?</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">DARRY</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">I'm not sure. I stuffed 'em in a plastic bag in the back-pack.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">YORKY</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Well, if ya need any let me know. You're about the same size as me so they should fit.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">DARRYL</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Good on ya mate!</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p5" style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">(Darryl leaves bar)</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p3" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p4" style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p5" style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">Once Darryl was gone, I said to Jeff,</span></div>
<div class="p5" style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">"We're flush again! Ya need some money?"</span></div>
<div class="p5" style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">"Not yet Yorky. I've still got a few bucks left. I'll get some off ya later. What ya think about the caravan mate?"</span></div>
<div class="p5" style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">"What about it?"</span></div>
<div class="p5" style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">"I don't like it mate. It's as cold as campin' in mi car and those vinyl mattresses are the same as mi back seat. I might camp in mi car from now on. "</span></div>
<div class="p5" style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">"I don't mind, I can camp in mi station wagon, no worries. I got a bit of a foam mattress I can roll out once the back seat's down. The only thing that worries me mate is, it may not be too safe with those fuckin' yobos driving around of a night time."</span></div>
<div class="p5" style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">"Don't ya have a rifle mate?"</span></div>
<div class="p5" style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">"Too fuckin’ right! I've got a 308 with a 7 X 50 Bushnell scope on it."</span></div>
<div class="p5" style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">"Jesus mate, that would blow a hole in of those yobos so fuckin' big ya'd be able to see daylight through him."</span></div>
<div class="p5" style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">"You got a rifle Jeff?"</span></div>
<div class="p5" style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">"Yeah mate, it's not as good as yours but it's pretty effective. It's an old ex-army 303. She's a bit beat up lookin' but she still shoots straight as a dye."</span></div>
<div class="p5" style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">"Where d'ya think we ought to park up for the night Jeff?"</span></div>
<div class="p5" style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">"Not sure yet mate but we'll find somewhere as safe as possible. I know mi mate Darryl will lend us his room key and as long as we're not spotted we can have showers upstairs."</span></div>
<div class="p5" style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">"Sounds good to me Yorky. The best part is we'll have extra money for grog since we won't be rentin' that fuckin' old caravan.</span></div>
<div class="p6" style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1"> </span></div>
<div class="p5" style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">That evening, Jeff, Darryl and miself had a good, old session on the grog, the same as most shearers would do on a Saturday night. In the shed, young shearers mostly skite about how many sheilas they've rooted and in the bar room they brag about how many sheep they can shear. True to form, the more beer shearers drink, the higher the shearing tally creeps up until it becomes obvious at the end of the night that everyone is full of grog and bullshit. Our conversations were no different. We followed the tradition to the letter.</span></div>
<div class="p4" style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
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<span class="s1"></span><br />
<div class="p5" style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">The Publican called last orders and once we'd finished our middies Darryl said,</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p6">
<div class="p1" style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">"That's it for me fellas. I'm headin' off upstairs for a sleep. What with gettin' bogged a couple of times and swimmin' a fuckin' river, I'm rooted. Not to mention, I'm as full as a boot!"</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">"No worries Darryl, we'll catch up with ya tomorrow mate."</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">"So what are we gonna do Jeff?", I asked.</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">"Let's buy a six-pack and a flagon. I usually keep a few cans in the boot but I seem to remember I couldn't find any last time I looked. I must have drunk 'em all.”</span></div><div class="p1" style="text-align: center;"><span class="s1">>>>>>>></span></div>
<div class="p2" style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1" style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“Follow me in ya vehicle Yorky. I know a good place to camp out for the night.”</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“Is it safe<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>mate?”</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“It’s as safe as it can be in Charleyville. We won’t be<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>bothered by Yobos’, black fellas’ and cops”.</span></div>
<div class="p2" style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1" style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">Once we were parked up for the night, Jeff said,</span></div>
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<span class="s1"></span><br />
<div class="p1" style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“I’m rooted mate. I’m gonna’<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>hop on the back seat for a bit of shuteye. Bang on the roof if there’s any problems.</span></div><div class="p1" style="text-align: left;"><span class="s1"><br /></span></div><div class="p1" style="text-align: left;"><span class="s1">>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>></span></div></div>
<div class="p5">
<div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div></div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">As I sat in the front of mi station wagon, having a smoke and looking out of the windscreen at the rain that was still coming down pretty heavy There was a loud knock on the passenger side window. I leaned over and wiped the condensation off the windscreen. To my surprise, there was a young Aborigine girl of about 22 years, smiling at me. She looked like she was soaked to the skin. She banged on the window again and gave me another big grin which revealed a row of pearly white teeth. I rolled the window down about halfway and said,</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“What d’ya want?”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“Ya got any plonk mate?”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“No, I’ve only got a six pack of XXXX.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“That’ll do mate. Give us one of those.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“No fuckin’ way.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“Then open the door and let me in. It’s wet and cold out here!”, she said.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“No fuckin’ way, I’m going to bed in a minute.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“C’mon mate, open the door and I’ll have a beer with ya.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">As I sat there looking at her, I thought to myself,</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="s1"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">‘She’s pretty good-looking for an abbo sheila and who knows, ya might get a good root off her.’</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“Hurry up mate, open the door.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“I tell ya what love, give us a root and I’ll let ya hop in the front. I’ll even give ya a couple of beers and a smoke!”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“No way mate. I’m not giving ya a root! I don’t even know ya gubba.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“Then why should I let you in the car?”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“Come on gubba, let me in.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“No the only reason ya wanna’ hop in here is ya want free grog and smokes.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">All right, let me in and I’ll give ya a kiss and show ya mi tits.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“Fuck that for a joke. I’ve been kissed and seen a pair of tits before.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“Yeah, but you haven’t seen mine before.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“So what makes yours any different?”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“They’re a good size and still hard.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“Yeah, so’s my cock, love!”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">Despite being wet and cold she started to laugh and then said,</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“You’re a very funny white fella’. C’mon open the door.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“All right, I’ll let ya in the car but if ya don’t cock it up then ya out’a here, alright?”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“No worries gubba. Well open the fuckin’ door.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">When I pulled the lock button up and pushed the door open, I got the surprise of mi life. I heard her say,</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“C’mon mum, hurry up and get in!”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">The next minute a big, fat-arsed old Gin squeezed her self through the door and plonked her big are on the font bench seat.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“Oye! What the fuck are you doing? I didn’t say you could get in!”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“Slide over mum. Make some room.”, said the young girl.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">The next minute I was squeezed against the drivers side door with a big fat toothless old Gin next to me and the young one out of arms reach, on the other side of her. ‘BANG!’ went mi car door as she slammed it shut.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“Good on’ya mate. I knew you’d let us in.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“That wasn’t the fuckin’ deal. I said you could get in, not you and ya mother!”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“No worries mate. She’ not taking up much room.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“Not taking up room! The fuckin’ door handle’s sticking in mi side. Tell her to get out!”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“Can’t do that mate, she’s mi mum.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">I had a pack of opened Marlboros on the dashboard and as soon as she saw them she took a couple out, gave one to her mother and stuck the other one in her mouth.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“Well, c’mon, give us a light mate.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“Alright.”, I said. “But that’s all ya fuckin’ gettin’.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
As soon as their fags were going the car filled up with smoke so I said,</div>
<span class="s1"><div style="text-align: left;">
“Open that fuckin’ window a bit before we all get cancer.”</div>
</span></div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“No worries mate. So where’s the grog, the XXXX mate. Ya said you’d got some?”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“I’m not giving ya my good Queensland 4X for free! The deal was a root for a beer.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“Then give us a drink of yours mate.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“No, you’ve already got 2 fags off of me for free.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“You said kiss and I’ll show ya mi tits for a can.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“No I fuckin’ didn’t. You said that!”<br />
</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">It was obvious to me that I’d been well and truly conned. The only thing I could do was make the best of it and have a bit of fun.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“Alright, here’s the deal. Show me ya tits and I’ll give ya one tinny between ya.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“Nah mate, one can and I’ll show ya one tit. 2 cans and I’ll show ya both.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“No way, one can for both tits.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“I’m not a stupid ginn mate. I’ve been to the white fellas’ school, I know a good deal when I hear one!”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">This little joke of hers made me laugh in turn she started to laugh. Her big, fat mother sat between us staring straight ahead and wasn’t sayin’ a word.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<span class="s1"><div style="text-align: center;">
“Can ya another speak English?”</div>
</span></div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Not really, she never went to school.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Then tell her in your language to scoot her big arse over to your side a bit. I can hardly breathe on my side.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">When she’d finished talking to her mother, in her own language, her mother wiggled her arse around on the seat and I ended up with less room now.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“I told her ya wanted a root for a couple of beers and she said she likes ya and she’ll give ya a root for a six-pack.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Fuck that for a game of tin soldiers! She’s old and fat and her tits are down to her waist.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“That don’t matter mate, a root’s a root!”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“No thanks, I’m not that desperate. Look, I’ve had a bit of fun with ya so I’m gonna’ give ya a beer between ya, alright?”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“How about two and I’ll show ya mi tits.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Are you fair dinkum,?”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Of course I am.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“No worries then.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">I leaned mi arm over the back of mi seat and handed them a can each.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Good on ya gubba.”, she said and pulled up the front of her wet blouse.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Good tits, eh?”, she said as she pulled the blouse back down.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Yeah, not bad at all. Stick ya mother outside, under a bush somewhere, and I’ll give ya the rest of the cans for a root.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“How many cans ya got left?”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Three. Why?”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Nah, that’s not enough. You said a six-pack.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Yeah, but you’re already drinking two of them.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Yeah, but that was for showin’ ya mi tits.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">The rain had now stopped again. It was obvious I wasn’t gettin’ a root off her and her mother was definitely out the the question, so I said,</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Alright ladies, the rain’s stopped so out ya git!”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Give us a can for the walk home mate.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">‘Fuck it.’, I thought. ‘I’ve had a lot of fun with her so why not?’</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Not till ya get out of the car. Come round my side and I’ll hand it out the window.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Once they were both out, I handed her another XXXX.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Good on ya mate.”, she said. “Did ya like mi tits?”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Yeah, they were fuckin’ beauties.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Maybe next time I’ll give ya a root for free<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>mate. You’re a funny bloke.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">With that said, she turned around and her and her mother walked off into the bush.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"><><><><><></span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">It was now 6 in the morning so I decided to bang on the roof of Jeffs’ car.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“C’mon, ya bastard, time to get up.”, I said, through the small open gap of his rear window.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“What time is it, for fucks sake?”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Six in the morning mate. Let’s go find a Dago shop that ’s open for some breakfast. I’m so fuckin’ hungry I could eat the crotch out of Ghandis’ loincloth!”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Over breakfast I related my evenings entertainment to Jeff who thought it was quite funny except for the fact that I had wasted good XXXX beer on a couple of ginns. After breakfast, we walked around town for a while until the Hotel bar was open.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="s1"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="s1"><<<>>></span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div></div><div class="p7">
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">That afternoon found Darryl, miself and Jeff having a few beers at the shearers pub.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Get some beers out of my money.”, said Darryl. “It’s my shout. I’m off for a leak. I’ll be back.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">When Darryl got back he said,<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Hey fellas’ there’s a country band setting up in that big back room. Maybe we should have a few beers in there, once they start up.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Good idea Darryl. That’s what we need, a bit of music. That’ll liven the place up a bit.”, I said.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Once the band had got going, we made our way to the music room for a change of atmosphere.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Yah think the band’s any good Yorky?”, said Darryl.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Yeh, they’re not bad mate, for a bush band.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“There must be about 50 people in here!”, said Jeff who was standing a couple of feet away from the bar with a full middy in his hand. Just then, a group of Abbos pushed past Jeff. One of them knocked Jeffs’ elbow, which in turn spilled most of his middy on the floor.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Jesus mate! Why don’t ya watch where ya goin’, ya bastard!”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Fuck you, ya white bastard.”, said one of the Abbos who was quite a big bloke.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Fuck me? Fuck you! ya black bastard!”, said Jeff. “Yah just spilled me fuckin’ beer. Ya can buy me another one now!”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Fuck you, buy ya own grog Gubba!”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“I take it ya lookin’ for a smack in the mouth!”, said Jeff who was by now pretty fuckin’ cranky.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“You’re gonna do that are ya?”, said the Abbo.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Too fuckin’ right mate!”, answered Jeff.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">The big Abbo walked towards Jeff, without any warning, swung a big right which connected with the side of Jeffs’ face and sent him flying backwards over a couple of tables. As Jeff crashed to the floor, one of the tables landed on top of him.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Holy fuckin’ shit!”, said Darryl. “That was a mean fuckin’ blow. I don’t think Jeff’s gettin’ up on his feet after that!”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Fuck you!”, said the big buff-headed Abbo as he turned to leave.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Just then the table moved and Jeff crawled out from under it. Once he was on his feet, he shook his head a couple of times and yelled out,</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Oye! You big black fuckin’ bung! Where the fuck d’ya think you’re goin’? Ya fuckin’ king-hit me with ya best punch and I’m back up on mi feet. Let me tell ya, ya black bastard, you’re in big trouble now sport. You can’t fuckin’ hurt me!”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">The big Abbo turned around to face Jeff and threw another punch at Jeffs’ head. Jeff was all business now with a big grin on his face.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Ya missed me with that one!”, he said as he ducked and moved in towards the Abbo.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Bang!” Jeffs’ fist crashed into the Abbos’ nose and cheek which sent the Abbo arse over head backwards into his mates who tried to catch him, but failed.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“C’mon you fuckin’ bastard!”, yelled Jeff who was now up on his toes dancing around like a full-on pro. “Git up ya bastard. There’s plenty more where that come from!”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Blood was now coming from the Abbos’ nose as he got up and headed for Jeff! Once he was within range, Jeff hit him in the guts with a hard left and a quick, straight right that landed at the butt of his ear. The big Abbo went flying sideways into a couple of chairs and ended up on his back.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“C’mon ya black bastard!”, yelled Jeff. “Git up on ya feet and I’ll give ya another one! I’m only just warmin’ up. I haven't got started yet!”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">The Abbo tried to get up but it was obvious he was not going to make it.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“”C.mon, on ya feet!”, said Jeff. “Yah fight like a fuckin’ old Ginn. Is that all you’ve got in ya?”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Jeff turned to the Abbos’ mates and said,</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Right! Which one of you fuckin’ coons is next? I can do this all fuckin’ day! I thought you black bastards could fight? Tell ya what I’ll do, I’ll take the three of y’as on.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">None ot the Abbos said a word. Then Jeff said,</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“What, not takers? Then pick up ya bung mate and get the fuck out of here while I’m still in a good mood!”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">The Abbos got their mate up on his feet and headed for the door.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">There was now a big group of local white fellas’ stood around Jeff congratulating him on his victory and offering to buy him a few middies.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Just then an Abbo girl walked up to me and said,</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Hey Gubba, you need to thank me.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“For What?”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“One of those blokes was going to hit ya over the head from behind with a metal chair but I stopped her.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Ya did?”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Sure did. Asks mi mate.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“No worries love. I believe ya anyway. Thank you. Can I buy ya a beer?”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Nah, maybe next time.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Well, thanks again.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“No worries mate.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Mi cousin said ya were a good bloke.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Who’s ya cousin?”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Thelma.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“I don’t know anyone called Thelma.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Yeah ya do mate. Ya had a beer with her and her mother last night in the front of ya car.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Right, that’s Thelma eh?”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Yeah, she likes ya.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Yeah. Sure ya don’t wanna beer?”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Nah mate. See ya around.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<><><><><></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">It was a Sunday afternoon and Jeff and myself were following the tradition of out-a-work shearers, drinking grog.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="s1"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="s1"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“I’m gettin’ sick of this hotel Yorky.”, said Jeff. “I reckon we should do a tour of the other bars in Charleville for a change. We’ll see how the other half live.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="s1">“Sounds good to me mate. Let’s go.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">After we’d toured most of the bars, Jeff said to me.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Fuck this for a lark mate. I’m gonna’ take off. I’m pretty full.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Where ya goin’ mate?”, I asked.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“I thought I might get a bit of shut-eye in the back of mi car.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“No worries. I’m gonna’ hang out here for a while longer. I don’t feel like layin’ down in mi station wagon at the moment. It’s too fuckin’ humid today.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Yeah, I know what ya mean but for some reason I feel knackered. I’ll catch ya later.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“No worries mate, I’ll give ya a knock on the roof of ya car.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Sounds good to me mate.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Once Jeff had gone, I sat at the bar on mi own finishing off a middy. Now, for some strange reason which was totally out of character for me, I ordered a shot of whiskey. As I sat there sipping on it, I was contemplating how people could drink this stuff. I’d seen many a shearer graduate to the top shelf towards the end of the evening. I decided to make an experiment.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Ya want another shot?”, said the barman.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Yeah, why not. Make it a double!”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“No worries mate.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">As I sat there on mi own, minding mi own business, three young blokes who had been sat at the end of the bar knocking it back started to take a negative interest in me. One of them said,</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“what are you fuckin’ looking at mate?”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Nothing sport. I wasn’t looking at ya.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Yes you were.”, said one of his mates.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">I decided not to answer and just kept looking ahead.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Smart bastard eh?”, said the third mate.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“What’s the matter?”, said the first bloke. “Ya got no guts?”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Listen.”, I said. “I came in here for a quiet drink. I’m not lookin’ for any trouble.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Well you’ve got trouble mate. I don’t fuckin’ like you. You seem like a smart bastard to me.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Again, I decided not to answer.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“I reckon I could knock you are over head any day mate.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">That was it! It was obvious those local yobos were not going to leave me alone. I turned and said to the bloke,<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Why don’t you go and fuck ya hand ya loud-mouthed bastard!</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">This little one-liner of mine made his face twist and contort quite a bit and his blustering reply was,</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Come outside and I’ll knock ya arse over head.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Fuck you, ya fuckin’ ugly inbred. I could knock you and ya pufta mates arse over, no problem!”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Yeah? I’d like to see that!”, said one of his mates. “I think you’re a gutless bastard who’s all talk and no action!”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
There was no other options left so I downed the double whiskey in one gulp and said,</div>
<span class="s1"><div style="text-align: center;">
“No worries mate, let’s do it. I’m not afraid of you fuckin’ retards!”</div>
</span></div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Had I not have been drinking whiskey, I may have considered ignoring the insults and left the bar but it was much too late for that now.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Soon as we got outside on the pavement, one of them rushed me and tried to knock me over. As luck had it, I side-stepped him and let go a big right which caught him fair and square on the cheek bone.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">He stumbled and hit the pavement. Before I knew it, his two mates jumped me from behind and started punching and kicking me. I was now on the pavement miself and the situation was not looking good!<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Just when I resigned miseslf to the fact that I was going to get beaten up pretty bad, I caught a glimpse of a big rough-looking bloke in a singlet and stubbies rushing towards us.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">‘Jesus Christ, not another one’, I thought. ‘Now I’m really fucked!’</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">When I thought all was lost, he yelled out,</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Get off him you mongrel-bred bastards!”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">The next minute he punched one of the yobos in the face and sent him sprawlin’ onto the road. The third bloke who had let fly a couple of kicks at me, jumped back out of the big blokes way. By this time I was struggling to mi feet.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“You alright mate?”, said the stranger.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Yeah I think so.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Then let’s take these three mongrel bastards on and knock the piss out’a them!”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“No worries mate. Good on ya.”, I said.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">By this time the three yobos were all up on their feet.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Right! You gutless bastards. Let’s get this fight on the road now that the odds have been evened up a bit. Me and this bloke against you fuckin’ cowards. Are you ready sport?”, the stranger asked me.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Too fuckin’ right mate. Let’s go!”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Whoa, Whoa, Whoa!”, said one of the yobos. “We don’t have any problems with you mate.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Ya fuckin’ do now sport. You’ve got a bigger<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>problem on ya hands than you can take care of!”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Let’s call it a night.”, said one of the other yobos.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“No fuckin’ way, ya gutless cunt! I’m rarin’ to fuckn’ go! Well, come on! You were pretty brave before I showed up. What’s the matter fellas’, three strappin’ young blokes like ya’ selves against me and this bloke!”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Nah mate. We’re not looking for trouble with you mate.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“I thought so.”, said the stranger. “No fuckin’ guts! So here’s the deal, fuck off home to ya mothers’ before I stoush all three of ya myself! Go on, fuck off before I change mi mind!”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">What a sight to see! All three of ‘em turned and took off, up the street, on the double!</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Once the yobos were well and truly on their way, with their tails between their legs, the stranger turned and said,</div>
<span class="s1"><div style="text-align: center;">
“How are ya cobber? Ya look a bit worse for wear.”</div>
</span></div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Nah, I’m all right mate. I think the whisky deadened the pain.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Bruce is the<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>name mate.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Yorky,”, I said as we shook hands.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“What the fuck were ya thinkin’ takin’ on those three mongrel-bred bastards on ya own?”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“They were disrespectin’ me and it was obvious they weren’t gonna’ stop, so I thought ‘fuck it’! At least I’ll get a couple of good hits in, before I go down.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Well, I don’t blame ya mate. Chances are I’d have done the same thing myself.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Thanks again Bruce, for backin’ me up.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“No worries Yorky, it was a pleasure mate. I just couldn’t stand by and watch that happening. Anyway, I’ve gotta’ get going. The missus will be wonderin’ where I got to.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">We shook hands again and I watched Bruce walk off up the street and out of sight. As I stood there, straightening me shirt and wiping the blood off mi nose, I thought to myself, ‘If there’s such a thing as angels then I’ve just met one!’</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">On the walk back to where I parked mi car, I was thinkin’ about the nights’ activity when<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>a voice inside said to me,<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">‘So what’s the lesson?’</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">‘Never drink so much that I can’t defend myself. And, no more fuckin’ whiskey!’</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">‘Right.’, said the voice. ‘A lesson learned the hard way!’</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">The next day, over a beer, I told Jeff about what had happened once he’d gone for a sleep.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Jesus, Yorky. Sorry to hear that mate. How’s ya nose? It looks a bit swollen.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“It is, and it’s a bit fuckin’ tender, truth be known.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Why don’t we go look for the bastards Yorky? Darryl’s up in his room as far as I know. Three against three mate, I’m gettin’ bored shitless hangin’ around the bar drinkin’ and not workin’.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Nah, forget about it mate. It’s not worth it.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Well if ya change yah mind, let me know. It’ll be a bit of fun.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">A few days later Jeff had taken his car to the garage to have some minor work done on it. I’d decided to wait for him in the bar instead of hangin’ around a garage. I was rollin’ a smoke and nursing a middy when I noticed one of the yobos, from the fight, walk in and order a beer. Sitting there, watching him, I thought to myself, ‘fuck this for a joke. I’m not gonna let that bastard get away with this’. Soon as he’d finished his beer, I waked over to where he was sitting and said,</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Remember me mate?”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“What do you fuckin’ want?”, said the yobo.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“You and me sport! One on one! Outside now!”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“I don’t have time now mate. I’ve gotta’ meet mi girlfriend.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Ya come outside now mate or I’ll knock ya off the stool!”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Yeah? Then you’ll get barred.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“No worries their mate. I’m not a local and besides that, I’ll be leaving Charleville in a couple of days.”</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="s1"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">After taunting his manhood for a short while, the yobo agreed to a one-on-one fight. Soon as we were outside I gave him no warning at all. I punched him in the face as hard as I could. He went down like the sack of shit that he was. He landed in the gutter with his head resting on an iron drain cover. I wasn’t going to give him time to get up, even though he didn’t look like he could. I jumped on top of him and grabbed his thought with my left hand and raised my right hand fist, ready to pound his face.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Stop! Stop! said the bloke. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I had to join in with the others or they would have seen me as weak and gutless!”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">His eyes were watery and showed a lot of fear. My mind said, ‘Beat the crap out of him!’ which I would have loved to do. Instead my heart and compassion said, ‘Let him go.’</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Begrudgingly, I said to him,</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“I could punch your fuckin’ head through that grate mate if I wanted to.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“I know mate, I know! I’m really sorry about ganging up on you.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“If I let you up, what are you gonna’ do?”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Nothin’ mate. I’ll just leave.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“All right, no worries then.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">I climbed off of the yobos’ chest and as I did, I said to him,</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Next time ya see ya gutless faggot mates, tell ‘em if they want a fair-dinkum stand up fist fight to come to this hotel. I’ve got quite a few shearing mates here who’d love a good stoush!”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Yeah, yeah no worries mate!”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Go on, fuck off, get out of here and don’t come back!”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Yeah, right-o mate. Good on ya.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">That was the last time I ever saw him.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">When I told Jeff and Darryl what happened, Jeff said,</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Jesus Yorky, ya too fuckin’ good-hearted mate. I’d have bashed the bastards skull in,”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Darryl said,</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Well, I’m glad it was you who got the only punch of the fight in, Yorky.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“It’s my round.”, said Jeff. “Drink up. The weather’s starting to clear up now so it won’t be long before we’re hangin’ off the end of the down-tube again.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Once the weather had dried up and the sheep were dry enough to be shorn, the contractor sent Jeff, myself and a full team to a station called Wonbin which was not too far from a place called Quilpie. After a month of working our guts out in some scungy Merinos Jeff said,</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Soon as we’re paid off I’m gonn’ spend a couple of days at the Quilpie hotel and then I’m headed off back down south to mi old mans’ property.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“How come mate?”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“I got a telegram from mi mother saying mi dad’s had a heart attack and she needs<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>me to help her run the place.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Sorry to hear that Jeff. Is he still alive?”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Yeah, but he’s gonna’ be bed-ridden for quite a while. Anyway, I suppose it will give us both a chance to patch things up. He probably won’t be as mean and stubborn now, after a heart attack.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">A couple of days on the grog at the hotel in Quilpie and Jeff was ready to go home.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“So where are you off to Yorky?”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“I’m heading to Guyra, New South. Darryl usually shears around Guyra anytime from August onwards. I’ll catch up with him then.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Well mi cars all packed up and I’ve got plenty of grog on board so I’m gonna’ head off Yorky.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Ya want one for the road?”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Better not mate. There’s a lot of pigs and roos’ on the road of a night and I don’t wanna’ end up half-pissed and smash up mi car on one of those bastards.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“I’ll come out and see ya off Jeff.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“Yeah, no worries mate. Well Yorky this is is mate.”, said Jeff as he extended his hand. “It’s been a real fuckin’ pleasure travelin’ and shearing’ with ya mate. Oh by the way, I almost forgot, I wrote mi mothers’ phone number and the address of our property on this bit a paper. If ya ever get down to Victoria, give us a ring mate.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“I sure will Jeff and I’m real happy I met you mate. We’ve had an interesting time.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p8">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Jeff started the motor of his old Ford Sedan, slammed the squeaky door, stuck her in gear and pulled out from the curb. A couple of seconds later he yelled out the window,</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">“It’s your shout, by the way. I’ll catch up with ya next season!”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">"HAROO! Mate!", I yelled back.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="p7">
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4725535300199715328.post-78358511669447802732019-03-31T07:18:00.002-07:002022-03-15T09:30:19.787-07:00DIGGING THE DUNNY HOLE One Sunday morning I went into the bar to look for some work. Someone I knew introduced me to a real beaut, a young bloke called Kenny Carlton. We got on well together right from the word go.<br />
“Where ya working, Yorky?” he asked.<br />
“Nowhere yet, Kenny. I’ve just finished tractor driving out at Roger Toms’ place.”<br />
“Why don’t ya git a job roustabouting in the shearing sheds?”<br />
“I’d love that but I don’t know how to go about it.”<br />
“It’s easy, mate. I’ll introduce ya to a few of the local contractors and ya can take it from there.”<br />
“How did you learn to shear, Mate?”<br />
“Mi old man’s a shearer, he taught me. I’ve been going out in the sheds with him since I was a kid.”<br />
“Is it hard work?”<br />
“Well, it’s not easy but once ya git the blows down and git fit, then it depends on how hard ya wanna work.”<br />
“What’s the money like?”<br />
“If ya git in good sheep ya can make a good, few bob.”<br />
“What’s the going rate?”<br />
“Eighteen bucks a hundred.”<br />
“How many can you shear a day, Kenny.”<br />
“Oh about 120-130.”<br />
“Shit! That’s big money.”<br />
“Yeah”, he said. "If ya can keep ya self in work it is.”<br />
<br />
I left the bar for a while to go for a feed. When I came back, Kenny was still sat on the same stool, a few middies worse for wear.<br />
Kenny was a short nuggety bloke, clean-cut and well-dressed. He had short, straight hair and a somewhat chubby face. His arms were quite big from dragging sheep. The knuckles on both his hands were swollen as most shearers hands are. I noticed his arms were covered in scratches and burr marks from the saffron thistles that were all over the sheeps' fleece.<br />
When I walked over to him, he said in a somewhat slurred voice,<br />
“Ya see that bloke over the other side of the bar, Yorky?”<br />
“Yeah.”<br />
“His name’s Don Freeman. Go and see him, mate. Tell him ya looking for a job roust-a-bouting.”<br />
<br />
When I went over to where he was sitting, I waited for him to finish talking to his mate.<br />
“G’day.”, I said.<br />
“G’day mate, what can I do for ya?”<br />
“I’m looking for some work in the sheds. Kenny Carlton said ya might have some.”<br />
“Kenny sent ya over did he?”<br />
“Yeah.”, I said.<br />
“I haven’t got anything going for a couple of days but I can give ya some work down at mi house till we start, if ya like.”<br />
“That sounds great!”<br />
“Hang on a minute till I finish mi beer.”<br />
<br />
Don Freeman was a tall, lanky bloke. He had wavy hair, a gaunt face and a husky, muffled voice which came from a broken nose.<br />
He downed his 7 ounce and said, “What’s ya name?”<br />
“Yorky.”<br />
“A chummy, eh? Can ya work, mate? Ya don’t look too fucking big to me!”<br />
“Don’t let the size fool ya.”, I said.<br />
“Alright mate, let’s go.”<br />
<br />
“Where we off to?” I asked, as we walked out of Twitcheys, down the main street towards the Lake.<br />
“Down to my joint. It’s just down at the end of the street.”<br />
When we got inside of his backyard he said, “I want to put a big septic tank over here so I need a hole digging. D’ya think ya can do that?”<br />
“How big a hole d’ya want?”<br />
“I’ll show ya.”<br />
<br />
He walked over to a wheel barrow and took out a string line and two pegs. He stuck one peg in the ground and then unraveled the string. When the string was straight, he tied the steel peg on and then walked around with the peg scratching the hard ground as he went. Once the circle was complete he said, “That’s about nine foot across and it’s gotta be seven foot deep. Ya think ya can dig it by hand?”<br />
“No worries, mate.”<br />
“How long will it take ya?”<br />
“Probably all day.”<br />
“One day?”,he said. “That’s all? That’s a fucking big hole mate! There’s a lot of digging there!”<br />
“Yeah! About one days’ worth.”<br />
“Shit! I doubt whether an Aussie could dig that in two days, let alone a chummy in one!”<br />
“One day, mate.”, I said.<br />
“Alright chummy, the job’s yours! How much is it gonna cost me?”<br />
“Tell ya what, Don. You don’t think I can do it in one day and ya said it would take an Aussie two days. At a dollar an hour, that’s 16 bucks for two eight hour days. I’ll make ya a deal. If you promise to give me a job as a roustabout as soon as you’ve got work, I’ll dig the hole for ten bucks and I’ll finish it within the day.”<br />
“You’re on chummy!”, he said with a smile. “Ya can start in the sheds with me on Wednesday, that’s if ya finish the septic hole in time. I won’t be here tomorrow so I’ll leave the pick, shovel and the crowbar in that wheelbarrow over there. Alright chummy?”<br />
“Alright Donny.”, I said, with a big smile. “Be careful ya don’t fall in it if ya come home full!”, I joked.<br />
“I’ll believe it when I see it!”<br />
<br />
I was up the next morning, bright and early. I had a bit of breakfast at the Hotel before I set off. As I walked down the empty street towards Dons’ place, I was thinking what it would be like to work in the shearing sheds. I’d always wanted to learn shearing ever since I had a go at it at old Burts’ place.<br />
<br />
When I walked through the small gate and down the dirt path, I decided to put everything out of my mind except the big job that was ahead of me.<br />
It was still pretty cool as the sun was not yet above the horizon. I stood in the rough, untidy side-yard contemplating what was the best and easiest way to go about digging the septic tank hole. After a few minutes it became obvious to me that there was no easy way to dig it. The only way it was going to get done was to start digging! The steel peg and string-line that Donny had used to mark the large circle was still in the same place so I remarked the circle making the line deeper as I walked around.<br />
Once this task was finished, I grabbed hold of the shovel, put the end of it on the ground where the center hole was and stomped on the edge with mi old work-boot. The shovel sank into the ground all of two inches.<br />
‘Oh shit!’ I thought. ‘This is going to be a lot tougher going than I thought it would be!’<br />
Then I picked up the long, fat crowbar. The end of it was in not too bad a shape, so I decided to start loosening the ground in a small circular motion, starting from the middle again. The crowbar sank in the hard ground about four inches each time I raised it above my shoulders and drove it downwards with great force.<br />
I enlarged the shallow hole until I reached the outer line of the nine foot circle. I took a few minutes breather, then shoveled the loose dirt and shale rock out of the hole. Once this was done I surveyed the work, still wondering if there was an easier way to do it.<br />
<br />
Pictures of jackhammers kept floating across the minds’ eye but there was no chance of getting one so I dismissed them as soon as came up. I decided to have a go with the pick that Donny had left. I started in the middle again and applied the same principle. I made a small hole, then enlarged it as I moved around. Sometimes the pick would hit a hard rock and the vibration of the blow would send the same vibration shattering up my arms.<br />
Once I reached the outside circle again I cleaned out the loose dirt and surveyed the now little bit deeper hole. A minutes rest and I started from the center again. No easier way of digging would come to mind so once that became clear to me I threw myself into the job with a great deal of determination!<br />
<br />
As the morning wore on, the large hole got slowly deeper. The hot sun was now beginning to rise in the sky. Sweat was starting to pour out of my forehead and a gentle breeze blew the fine red dust over my face. By noontime, I was halfway there! The large hole was three and a half feet deep and the sides were perfectly straight.<br />
<br />
I took a rest for half an hour to eat a couple of sandwiches I’d got from the Hotel kitchen. After a smoke, I jumped down into the hole to start the afternoons’ session. It was much harder now as the sun was really hot! It must have been 115 degrees down in the hole.<br />
<br />
The ground was not getting any softer and the dirt had to be thrown up in the air and over the side so it didn’t roll back in on top of me. By 7 O’clock that evening, the hole was seven feet deep and nine feet wide. The sides were as straight as a die!<br />
<br />
“G’day.”, said Donny as he peered down into the hole. “Grand streuth chummy, ya finished it mate!”<br />
“Right on seven feet!”, I said as I looked up at him from down in the hole.<br />
“You’re a bloody little beauty chummy! I didn’t think ya stood a mongrel dogs’ chance of finishing that today!”<br />
“I told ya I could do it. Good-looking hole, mate eh?”<br />
“Not bad chummy. It’s a pity we’re gonna fill it with shit! How ya gonna git out ‘a the hole?”, he said, with a big grin.<br />
“Give us a pull up mate or I’ll be here all night.”<br />
<br />
Once I got out of the hole, I said to him “So I’ve got a job in the sheds with ya now, mate?”<br />
“Tell ya what, Chummy, ya can work in the sheds with me anytime I’ve got work. Any man who can dig a hole that big and deep in one day is good enough for me, sport. You’re a better man than most of those lazy bastards that sit around the bar all day. They ask me for a job and I take ‘em out and they’re too crook from the grog to do any good!”<br />
“Will ya teach me to shear, mate?”<br />
“If I get time I will and if not one of the other blokes will!”<br />
<br />
Although I was knackered from the days work, the thought of working in the sheds and learning to shear put a shit-eating grin on my face for the rest of the evening.<br />
A couple of days later I saw Don in Twitcheys bar.<br />
“Ya got a start tomorrow if ya want it, chummy!”<br />
“ ‘Course I want it! What time will ya pick me up?”<br />
“Be ready at six. I’ll pick ya up on mi way past.”<br />
“How many days will ya have for me?”<br />
“Two days this week then we’ll start on a new shed next week. It should go for three weeks.”<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4725535300199715328.post-33705382122587146212018-02-16T12:23:00.003-08:002022-03-15T09:52:09.269-07:00FIRST TIME IN THE SHED © The following morning I was sat on the curb outside Twitcheys at a quarter to six waiting for the contractor. As I was sat there wondering what shed life would be like, a cars' horn beeped and Don Freeman pulled into the curb.<div><br />
"G'day Don." I said, as I jumped up.<br />
"G'day Chummy. Hop in mate, we've gotta pick up the other blokes."<br />
As I got in the front of the Falcon Sedan, he said, "I hope old Gundy's sober this morning. He was pissed as a chook yesterday. It took him a couple of hours to sober up. He only shore 15 sheep the first run."<br />
"Isn't 15 sheep a lot to shear in one run?, I asked.<br />
"That's nothing for a shearer of Gundys' capabilities Chummy. When Gundy's sober and he feels like working, I've seen him shear a couple of hundred a day and not break out in a sweat. 'Course, he's very rarely sober."<br />
<br />
We drove around Shamens Corner where the blackfellas' hung out. There was a couple of 'em sitting on the bench swigging on a half-gallon flagon of plonk.<br />
"I don't know how those blokes do it.", said Don. "I've seen 'em sat there in the hot sun all day getting full on plonk."<br />
"Where do they git the money from?", I asked.<br />
"They get a government check every week and most of 'em spend the whole lot on cheap plonk."<br />
<br />
We pulled into the curb again and a young bloke about my age hopped in the front beside me.<br />
"G'day Freeman, how ya going mate?", he said.<br />
"G'day Boney, how ya going mate? D'ya know Chummy?", said Don.<br />
"I've heard of ya mate. Mi brother Kenny told me about ya."<br />
"Good to meet ya Boney.", I said as we shook hands.<br />
"How's Kenny doing?, said don.<br />
Boney, who was a small, thin bloke with jet black hair and a cheeky smile said, with a laugh,<br />
"He's fast asleep in the front seat of his car. He got full as a boot again last night. He drove home from Twitcheys but was too drunk to make it from the car to our front door."<br />
"Jeezus", said Donny, "What does his new missus think about that?"<br />
"She ain't too pleased about it.", said Boney between laughs and giggles. "They've been married for two months now and he's only slept with her about half a dozen times. The rest of the time he's been drunk in his car."<br />
"How long till she has the kid?", asked Don.<br />
"About a month, I think. I asked Kenny the same question the other day and he said 'what kid?"<br />
Boney had a real good laugh over this little joke.<br />
<br />
"This is gonna be Chummys first day in the shed Boney so teach him the ropes, alright mate?"<br />
"Ya haven't worked in the sheds before Chummy?"<br />
" Only for half a day out at old Burt Booths' place."<br />
"They tell me old Burt's a bit of a hard man to work with.", said Don.<br />
"That's an understatement.", I said.<br />
Everyone had a real good laugh at that.<br />
<br />
Shearers and roust-a-bouts are always trying to take the piss out of each other, probably 'cause it makes the day go by easier and relieves the tension from the hard work.<div>
<br />
The car pulled up in front of a cream-colored weather-board house and Donny Freeman honked the horn. After a few minutes a bloke appeared at the door and called out, "Be right with you."</div><div><br />
"Jeezus", said Don. "Old Gundy doesn't look too good to me this morning. I heard he was as full as a boot up at Giltraps' bar last night."<br />
"He doesn't mind a drop now and then.", said Boney, with a giggle.<br />
"Ya not wrong there.", said Don. "It's a bit hard to say anything about it though cause he's such a good shearer. Even when he's crook from the grog he's cleaner and faster than a lot a' blokes."</div><div><br />
The front door of Gundys' house re-opened and Gundy walked out. He looked a bit sick and was a little unsteady on his feet as he walked over the dead and patchy grass of his front lawn. Just before he got to the car, his old lady came running after him with a packet of fags in her hand. He took the fags from her and never said a word. As Gundy neared the back door of Don Freemans car, he tripped over a crack in the cement and nearly crashed into the glass.</div><div><br />
"Open the back door for him Chummy before he hurts himself.", said Don.<br />
Leaning mi arm over the back seat, I pulled up on the handle and pushed on the door. The door almost knocked Gundy over and he took a couple of steps backwards. Very carefully he maneuvered round the open door and slowly got in the back of the Sedan.<br />
"Ya tryin' to knock me arse over head?", said Gundy as he made himself comfortable.<br />
"No", I said. "It was my fault for shoving the door so hard."<br />
"What's your name?", he said with a drunken grin on his face.<br />
"Yorky.", I said.<br />
"What kinda' fuckin' name is that?", he said with slurry speech.<br />
"It's a knickname 'cause I come from Yorkshire."<br />
"Fuckin' hell.", said Gundy "A pommy fuckin' bastard! What are ya doing in the sheds?"<br />
"It's Chummys first day.", said Don. "We're gonna teach him to Roust-a-bout."<br />
"Chummy eh?", said Gundy. "That's not a bad fuckin' name. I think I'll call ya Chummy from now on."<br />
<br />
"D'ya have a hard night at Giltraps Gundy?", asked Boney.<br />
"I sure fuckin' did mate. I never got home till 1 O'clock this morning and the missus was as cranky as hell with me. She made me sleep on the couch all night. She was still cranky this morning. Oh shit, mi head's not too good either. Hey Freeman."<br />
"What d'ya want Gundy?", said Don.<br />
"Can ya go a bit easier on those fuckin' corners mate, mi brain's slopping around in last nights grog."<br />
"How many are ya gonna' shear today if I slow down?", said Don, in a joking way.<br />
"How many did I shear yesterday?<br />
"102.", said Don.<br />
"Alright, "I'll shear 103 today. How's that?"<br />
"Could ya do 150 please.", said Don, taking the piss out of Gundy.<br />
"You fuckin' contractors are never satisfied.", said Gundy as he pulled a fag out of his packet.<br />
"Give us a light Boney.", He said.<br />
"I haven't got one Gundy.", said Boney.<br />
"Here ya go Gundy.", I said as I flicked the lighter.<br />
"Good on ya Chummy, ya pommy bastard! Me and you are gonna git on real well mate."<br />
<br />
Gundy was a very funny character. He was about 5 foot 10 with dry, wavy hair. He had a bald spot in the middle of his head and the hair was starting to thin at the front. His eyes were blue and his broken nose shot off to the side at a very acute angle. He was dressed in the usual shearers garb which was a cardigan, blue singlet with a reinforced patch on the front-left side, double-legged heavy-duty blue denim shearers dungarees which helped slightly to keep the thistles out, wooly socks and shearers boots. The trousers were help up with an elastic belt made out of good-quality surgical elastic.<br />
<br />
"Where's that fuckin' Athel Cook this morning Freeman?", said Gundy.<br />
"We're gonna pick him up now. Suppose he was with ya at Giltraps last night was he?", said Don.<br />
"Yeah.", said Gundy. "The bastard tried to miss out on buying a round before he left. He can be as tight as a fishes asshole."<br />
<br />
The car ground to a halt at the far end of town and another shearer was sat on the curb smoking a home-made.<br />
He was a thick-set bloke with a whiskery face. Not a very good-looking bloke at all. His thick wavy hair was plastered down on his large head and he had a sweat towel around his neck like a scarf.<br />
"G'day ya fuckin' bastards.", Athel said, as he got in the back besides Gundy.<br />
"G'day.", said Don. "This is Chummy, Athel. He's roust-a-bouting for us today."<br />
"G'day Athel.", I said as I leaned over to shake his hand.<br />
"A fuckin' pommy bastard eh?" I've never seen a good one yet."<br />
"This one is a fuckin' beaut, so go easy on him today Athel cause it's his first day.", said Don.<br />
<br />
Don let the clutch out and the sedan sped off out of town onto the dirt road heading for the Cockies' shearing shed.</div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4725535300199715328.post-58506642694791547272018-02-01T12:25:00.002-08:002022-06-06T15:57:19.906-07:00THE QUEEN BEE © On Sunday afternoon, I noticed an older woman, sitting at the bar in the Argent, having a few beers with a group of men and women. She kept staring over at me. I said to Soreback,<br />
"Who's that old bird over there that keeps staring at me?"<br />
"They call her the Queen Bee mate. She's not that old, she's only about 50, if that?"<br />
"Well, I'm only 19 Soreback. 50 seems old to me."<br />
"They tell me she's a bit of a go-er. She looks like she's got her eye on you!"<br />
"Don't be stupid Soreback. She's old enough to be mi mother."<br />
"Maybe so Yorky but she's taking more than a bit of interest in ya."<br />
<br />
As the afternoon wore on, I forgot all about the Queen Bee 'cause I'd had one too many beers for my liking. I said to Soreback,<br />
"I'm off upstairs for a lay down. Give us a shout at Seven, will ya mate?"<br />
"Alright Yorky. Lend me another 50 will ya mate?"<br />
"Jesus, Soreback, you and money part company pretty quick."<br />
"Yeah mate, I know. Don't worry about me not paying ya back Yorky. I always pay up mi debts."<br />
"Alright Soreback, here's another 50. That make 200 bucks now, alright?"<br />
"Good on a mate. You're a real good cobber."<br />
Once Soreback had the 50, he bought himself another beer and then looked around the bar for another school to join in.<br />
<br />
As I walked up the stairs to mi room, I was walking along the passage when the Queen Bee came walking around the corner from the opposite end.<br />
<br />
"G'day, ya staying in one of the rooms for the weekend?", she said.<br />
"Yeah, Number 17s' mine."<br />
I'd had a few beers that afternoon so I was not my usual shy self.<br />
"Why don't we have a beer together?"<br />
"I just came up for a rest. I've had a couple of beers too many already."<br />
"Well one more won't make much difference. I'll go back downstairs and bring up a bottle. Leave the door open for me for when I get back."<br />
<br />
She took off down the corridor and disappeared around the corner. I shot in mi room and locked the door. 'Maybe she was only joking', I thought, as I lay on the bed, mi heart pounding away. I was remembering what Soreback had said about her being a bit of a go-er.<br />
<br />
Some one turned the handle of the door. When it wouldn't open, I heard of couple of light taps. Although my heart was now pounding away with fear, I saw myself get off the bed and walk over to the door. Mi hand reached up and turned the lock. When mi other hand turned the knob and pulled open the door, the Queen Bee quickly stepped inside.<br />
"Lock the door in case anyone comes. I'm not supposed to be up here."<br />
<br />
She put the bottle on the table next to the bed and then said,<br />
"Aren't ya gonna offer me a drink?"<br />
"Oh yeah.", I said, as I popped off the top with the corner of mi round tobacco tin. I poured out a couple of glasses. She said,<br />
"Cheers mate!<br />
<br />
It only took her about 2 swallows and the middy glass of beer was gone. She asked me mi name and where I'd been shearing. As soon as I put the glass down, she stood up and pulled down her knickers and then stepped out of them, all the time not taking her eyes off me. She lay down on the bed and pulled me over on top of her.<br />
"Come on, let's go! Give me a real good, hard fucking!"<br />
<br />
The fear I had been experiencing now turned to incredible excitement as she stuck her tongue half-way down my throat. When I responded, she started to move around on the bed. At the same time, she pulled mi t-shirt out of mi jeans. I'd only ever been with a couple of young girls before. This was a brand new experience for me.<br />
<br />
The Queen Bee started to moan a bit as she dug her fingernails into my back. Although it hurt somewhat, I did not find myself complaining. She started to tear at mi belt trying to undo it. To make matters easier, I gave her a hand.<br />
<br />
I heard a strange growling sound as I pushed myself into her body. The fear started to come back as she growled and tore at mi skin. Her hips pounded away at mine as her arms and legs wrapped around me in a vice-like grip. The growling grew even louder as she bit my shoulder muscle really hard!<br />
<br />
I used to think I had what it took to be a bit of a stud until the Queen Bee got her teeth into me. All I could think of now, was how I was going to get away from this thrashing, biting and scratching tiger. The growling got loud at one point that I opened my eyes to check and see what it was that I'd let into my room. When I saw it was an old woman, all sorts of feelings started to flash through mi mind.<br />
Just then, I heard a voice in mi head say, 'What's it like fucking a pensioner?'<br />
Another voice said, 'Jesus mate, she's old enough to be your mother!'<br />
A voice I recognized as mi mothers' said, 'Don't forget son, treat every woman you meet with respect like you would your own mother!'<br />
Then another voice, which I didn't recognize said, 'Don't listen to those wimpy voices. Give the horny, old bitch the best fucking she's ever had in her life!'<br />
<br />
By this time, what with the voices and her animal-like growling, I was totally confused. The energy had built up to such a point now that I could no longer control it. The next thing I felt was a huge explosion from between mi legs. This uncontrollable orgasm sent the Queen Bee into an orgasmic fit of her own.The growling now turned into a scream as she squeezed her thighs together and thrust her crotch into mine.<br />
<br />
I now became aware of the pain in my back as her fingernails dug into mi skin and clawed their way downwards. After it was all over, I pulled her arms from around me. It was like trying to get away from an octopus with nails.<br />
<br />
When I eventually got free, I said, "You better go before someone finds you up here."<br />
"Yeah, perhaps you're right."<br />
<br />
As I watched her get dressed, I was feeling all sorts of emotions again, not to mention the burning sensation in mi back. Once she was dressed, she re-adjusted her skirt and said, "See ya around honey."<br />
"Yeah, see ya later.", I said as I quietly locked the door behind her, in case she changed her mind.<br />
<br />
As I sat on the side of the bed where she had just lain, I could smell her odor all over the place. I sprinkled some of mi Old Spice After Shave on the top cover, to get rid of it. I pulled off mi good white t-shirt and discovered it was blood-stained. I walked over to the long mirror and turned mi back to it, twisting mi neck so I could see.<br />
<br />
It was not a pretty sight. There were long, red fingernail marks all the way down mi back. They started at the center of mi back and curved down towards mi ribs. There were still drops of blood trickling down the tracks.<br />
A new feeling started to creep in, as I stood there. I felt incredibly dirty. I grabbed the towel which was hanging over the end of the bed and made mi way along the corridor to the shower, hoping not to bump into any of the other shearers that were staying there.<br />
<br />
Once the hot water was adjusted right, I stood under the shower for ages trying to wash away the voices. The water stung mi back as it washed over the open skin. After a while I couldn't feel it. 'It must have gone numb.', I thought.<br />
<br />
The next time I saw the Queen Bee in the Argent Hotel, she looked past me like she didn't even know me. I lit up a smoke, picked up mi beer and carried on with mi life like it had never really happened.<br />
<br />
The next shed I shore at, one of the shearers asked me if I'd got drunk and fallen into a barb-wire fence, when he saw mi shoulders.<br />
"No mate, I had a dream I was fighting a huge tiger and when I woke up the scratches were there!"<br />
"Right mate! Pull this one, it's got fucking bells on it.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4725535300199715328.post-51418438821296003972018-01-28T12:32:00.008-08:002022-07-06T05:07:56.115-07:00HONG KONG TATTO © The first stopover, on my flight to England, was in Sydney. I stayed at a hotel in Kings Cross which was paid for by Air New Zealand. I spent most of the evening saying 'no' to the endless parade of prostitutes that walked the streets. When I was sick of walking around, I went into The Paradise Club to listen to some live music. The club stayed open until 3:30 after which I had a meal and then walk back towards Kings Cross Fountain and my hotel, which was just around the corner.<div><br /><div>
The next day, the complimentary taxi picked me up and drove me back to Kingston-Smith airport. I boarded the plane and we took off to the next destination which was to be Hong Kong. When we landed in Hong Kong, I was driven to the Miramar Hotel where I was to stay for 48 hours.</div><div><br />
As we drove through the streets in my private taxi at 2 in the morning, it looked like 2 in the afternoon. The streets were packed with people who seemed to be totally lost, as they wandered along through the bright, gaudy neon lights of the city. The taxi stopped outside the Hotel front entrance. A bell hop grabbed hold of my suitcase before I knew what had hit me!<br />
"Yes, Yes.", he said. "You please to come this way sir."</div><div><br />
I knew that he was talking to my money but it was too late now. I'd have had to kill him before he would let go of my case. I thought,<br />
'What the hell! I'm on holidays!'</div><div><br />
After I checked in, the small bell hop carried my big case over to the lift and up we went. He wore a permanent smile from the ground floor to the top. As we rode up in the lift, the only time I saw his smile disappear was when I thanked him very much for carrying the suitcase and then asked him to leave. He looked at me and then his empty hand. After 3 times of this little act, I gave him 2 dollars, the smile came back quickly.<br />
"Just testing mate.", I said in broad Occa.<br />
"I am begging your pardon?"<br />
"Nothing sport. See ya later."</div><div><br />
The room was 5-Star. I dived on the double bed to test it out. No complaints. All paid for by Air New Zealand, after I'd paid them a thousand dollars for the trip! As I laid on the bed, staring up at the light fixture, I decided to have a good hot shower and then go downstairs to ask where the action was. Showered and dressed, I made mi way way downstairs.</div><div><br />
Once I reached the lobby, I asked the desk clerk if he knew of any good bars where it was safe for one man to go to alone.<br />
"The Jolly Swagman.", he said with a smile. "Take a taxi outside and only pay what's on the meter."<br />
<br />
"Meter price to the Jolly Swagman mate.", I said to the taxi driver as he opened the door.<br />
"No no</div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4725535300199715328.post-49396291075728075362018-01-02T11:52:00.000-08:002019-03-31T07:14:17.328-07:00THE GUN SHEARER ~ REDPATH © I was introduced to a gun shearer, Ian Redpath. He was a tall bloke who always wore a pork-pie, punters hat when he wasn't shearing. He was mostly bald at the front of his head which made his appearance seem older than his years. A heavy drinking problem did nothing to correct it either.<br />
Redpath was a quiet bloke until he had too much grog and then he could become very argumentative or he'd simply go to sleep on the bar stool with his head on the counter until the Publican decided he'd had enough rest then he'd wake him up. Upon waking, the first words out of Redpaths' mouth were,<br />
"Give us another middy mate."<br />
<br />
In town, Redpath was a hopeless drunk but when he got back in the sheds, after a couple of slow days he would be ringing the shed again. I became very fond of Redpath, despite his drinking habit. When he told me he was leaving the Lake to drive over to Western Australia, I asked him if I could go with him.<br />
<br />
"No worries mate. Sling ya swag in the back of mi Ute. I'll be leaving tonight after Giltraps closes."<br />
<br />
It didn't take me very long to pack up mi case and as soon as Giltraps did close, Redpath very casually sauntered out, carrying a dozen cans under his arm for the ride to Hilston where he was based.<br />
We arrived in Hilston well after midnight. Instead of going to his room, which he rented at at a mates house, he made his way to the back door of the Hilston Hotel. Once inside, we stayed there for at least 3 hours until the Publican refused to serve anymore beer.<br />
<br />
The following day, Redpath got up at 1pm and headed towards the bar again. He kept this activity up for at least 3 days until I finally said to him,<br />
"I'm going back to the Lake mate. I didn't come with you to watch ya drink ya self to death. I'll be leaving as soon as I find a ride back."<br />
<br />
This statement of mine must have given him a bit of a shock because he finished his beer, bought another dozen and said, "Alright, come on mate, let's hit the road!"<br />
<br />
Pretty soon we were on our way with my self behind the wheel of his brand new Ute. I knew he really liked me, otherwise he would have stayed at the bar drinking until he was broke. Also, he liked me to drive. No one lets a bloke drive his new Ute unless he enjoys his company.<br />
<br />
We must have been on the road for around 6 hours. We'd changed seats and Redpath was now driving. Drunk or sober, he drove the Ute at around 80 miles an hour. Just as I was settling in for the long haul a big, semi passed us on the dirt road. The next thing I heard was a loud 'BANG' as a stone shattered the windscreen to pieces. Immediately, Redpath applied the brakes and at the same time he pushed out a big enough hole in the windscreen, which enabled him to see where we were heading. As soon as the vehicle ground to a halt, we pushed out the whole windscreen. There was shattered glass all over the place.<br />
<br />
"What a bastard!", said Redpath. "This calls for another beer!"<br />
<br />
I cleaned up as much of the small pieces of glass as I could without a small dust pan and broom. When it looked all right to Redpath he said, "Fuck it Yorky, that'll do sport. Open ya self a beer mate and well get moving again."<br />
<br />
It's amazing how uncomfortable one can be in a Ute with no windscreen, especially traveling on a dirt road. Every car that drives past kicks up a huge amount of dry red dust.<br />
When we finally reached a town called Wilcania, we were covered in a thick layer of dust from head to toe. Once we found the largest garage in town, the owner said he'd have to order a windscreen because it was a new Ute and he didn't carry spares for new vehicles. He also said that it would take at least 4 days before it arrived. Redpath ordered it and then drove straight to the Hotel to contemplate what to do, over a few cold middys.<br />
<br />
That evening, as we made friends with a few of the local shearer, Redpath, who was known all over the Outback of NSW, managed to pick up some shearing and crutching for us. At least we'd make a few dollars while we waited in Wilcania.<br />
<br />
That evening, we drove out to a station called Mount Pleasant. It was anything but. There was only a few sheep to shear. so the rest of our time was spent crutching, daggy-arse sheep.<br />
<br />
Crutching consists of dragging out sheep, shearing the wool off of their rear-end in a fan-like shape. Under normal conditions, one can make a lot of money out of crutching. Unfortunately, we were not crutching in ideal conditions.<br />
Once sheep have been let into a paddock that has plenty of green feed they tend to get the scours. They shit all over the wool around their arse. Over a period of time, the blow-flys, who see sheep shit as a five star meal, land all over the sheeps' arse. In the process, the blow-flys lay their eggs on the shit. After some time, the eggs hatch out as maggots. Maggots, being what they are, will look for food. Once they are firmly on the skin, they will start eating the sheep alive! They bore holes deep down into the sheeps' rear end. If not caught in time, they will kill the sheep.<br />
Any shearer knows a fly-blown sheep. He can smell it. The antidote for this little trauma is to shear off all the wool where the maggots have been. After he's done this, he yells out "TAR BOY!" A roustabout runs down the board to the shearer with a can of liquid, which he daubs all over where the blow-flys have been, which stops them getting re-infected.<br />
The other operation that one encounters while crutching, is when the shit on the rear end of the sheep has dried hard as a rock. The only way to get this off is to chip away with the hand-piece until it's all gone. That was how we spent our time at Mt. Pleasant.<br />
<br />
After we finished our few days, he luckily found another 2 weeks shearing for us. It was decided that we'd forget about driving a few thousand miles across the Nullabar Plain and remain in Wilcania for as long as the work held out.<br />
<br />
The following Friday evening Redpath and me drove back into town from a weeks hard work in rough old wethers. We decided to try out one of the other bars, just for a change in scenery. We already knew quite a few shearers now which made the stay a bit more enjoyable.<br />
<br />
At around 9:30 I decided to go for a walk down the street for some fresh air. I was not interested in getting blind drunk with Redpath that night. Once I got outside a couple of Aborigine girls smiled a big smile at me and asked me my name and where I came from. Once I said, Lake Cargelligo they asked me if knew all of their relations who lived out at the mission. After 10 minutes of talking they suggested that after the bar closed down, if I bought some beer and wine we could all go for a bit of a party out at the place they were living. I agreed to meet them later.<br />
<br />
After I had a feed at the local Dago shop, I went back up to the bar to see how old Redpath was faring. By this time, he was firing on all 8 cylinders and was already quite argumentative when the Publican called 'Time' at 11. I told Redpath about the the 2 Abbo sheilas I'd met earlier. He seemed to like the idea cause he said,<br />
"At least it's somewhere to go where we can hang around and drink some more grog."<br />
When we went around the back of the Hotel where Redpath had parked his Ute, the girls were waiting for us.<br />
"G'day", they said as we approached. "Ya got some grog?"<br />
"Of course I've got some fucking grog.", said Redpath. "Have ya ever known me not to have any?"<br />
One of the girls said, with a smile,<br />
"How would we know? We've only just met ya mate."<br />
"Then fucking go and ask anybody that knows me, they'll all tell ya the same thing. Ya might see old Redpath without food on many occasion but grog, you'll never see him without."<br />
"Alright mate.", said the older one. "Keep ya fucking hat on. We only asked."<br />
"Where the hell are ya taking us anyway?", asked Redpath.<br />
"Few miles out of town. Got a humpy out there. We can have a party without being disturbed.", said on of 'em.<br />
<br />
Once we were all squashed in the front seat of the Ute, he started it up and drove out of the car park and then up the main road. For some reason, he was driving very slow tonight which was totally out of character for him. He was driving so slow in fact, one of the girls said,<br />
"Can't this Ute go any fucking faster?"<br />
"Course it fucking can. It's a brand new Ute.", he said. "What d'ya wanna go faster for?<br />
"Well mate, some one might see us with 2 white fellas."<br />
"So fucking what?", said Redpath, who had now opened a new can.<br />
"Don't worry me mate, but if the local cops see us with ya, you'll git into big trouble.", said one of the girls.<br />
"Fuck the cops. I've been in jail overnight more times than I can remember so once more won't make any difference to me.", said Redpath.<br />
<br />
At long last, we arrived at an old rusty, broken down tin shack at the end of a dirt track on the outskirts of town. When we went inside, I got quite a shock as I looked around me. It was a one-room place with a dirt floor. The inside walls were just as rusty as the outside. The only furniture in the room was 2 single beds, one at each side of the room. On the actual bed part there were no mattresses, only a sagging chain-link spring affair which was supposed to hold at least a flock mattress. Instead, all that covered them were an old wool blanket. The only other furniture I could see was an old wooden chair which only had 3 legs.<br />
<br />
Redpath walked over to one of the beds and sat down on the edge of the frame with the booze at the side of him.<br />
"Alright mate, give us a drink.", said one of the girls to him.<br />
"I don't know whether or not I should waste mi good beer on you Abbo sheilas. Here, ya can open up this bottle of Plonk, if ya like.<br />
"Is this where you live?". I asked.<br />
"Sure is mate. What else do we need?"<br />
"Where d'ya cook?", I asked, cause there was no electricity or running water.<br />
"Outside mate. We make a fire when we wanna cook up something."<br />
"Where d'ya put ya clothes?", I asked.<br />
"On mi body. Where else would I put 'em?"<br />
"No, ya spare clothes.", I said.<br />
"What spare clothes is he talking about?", said the other girl.<br />
"Fucked if I know." said the other one. "He must know something we don't."<br />
"Are these thin cotton dresses the only clothes ya have?<br />
"Course they are. What do I need anymore for. I can only wear one dress at a time."<br />
"What d'ya do when ya have to wash 'em?"<br />
"I wash it in the river and hang it over a bush till it dries. What else."<br />
<br />
As we sat and talked, I asked them many questions about their lives. Most of the time, they thought I was pretty weird. Eventually Redpath started to talk politics to the girl who was now sitting next to him. He asked her for an opinion on the war in Vietnam.<br />
"What you mean, 'Vietnam?' What war? Where abouts in New South Wales is Vietnam? I haven't never heard of it mate."<br />
"What about all those young white kids that are dying over there so that you bastards can be 'free'?" said Redpath, who was now pretty drunk.<br />
"What bullshit you fucking talking white fella?", she said. "Maybe you had too much grog. Black fellas never have war. No white fella ever die for black fellas but plenty black fellas die at the hand of white fellas. If ya so worried about this Bush town, Vietnam, why don't you go to war instead of gittin' on the grog?"<br />
"Ya stupid, bloody Giin.", said Redpath, as he took another big swig out of his can. "Vietnam ain't in the Bush. It's another bloody country all together. Didn't ya learn anything at school?"<br />
The girl who was now sat next to me said to him,<br />
"She never went to no white fellas school mate. She learn from tribal family everything about ancestors. Same as me mate. White fellas learning no good to black fellas. Only good thing white fellas have is plonk and Marlboroughs.<br />
"Yeah that 's the bloody problem with you black bastards.", said Redpath. "Ya never work or look after the land."<br />
<br />
The girl who was sitting next to him took another swig out of the wine bottle and said,<br />
"What d'ya mean, black fellas not work or look after the land. Just look at you white fellas. You come to our land and in a few years it's almost dead! Ya put those chemical things on the land and then ya put up fences and tell us it's yours and if we walk on it, we're trespassing. Then ya go and call the white fella sergeant on us."<br />
"Ya can have ya land back for all I care.", said Redpath, who was by now really drunk.<br />
<br />
The Abbo girl, who was now herself a bit drunk said to him,<br />
"We don't want it back now. You white fellas fucked it up so ya can have it. It's no good to us black fellas anymore."<br />
<br />
As they were arguing back and forth, the girl who was sat with me said,<br />
"Come on mate, I wanna show ya something. Come outside."<br />
When we got outside, she closed the door and then grabbed hold of my hand and took off at a fast pace into the Bush. After about 10 minutes of walking we came to a big clearing in the Malley. The full moon was directly up above now and filled the clearing with a warm glow.<br />
"Pretty place eh?", she said as she looked around.<br />
"Yeah,", I said. "It's really peaceful out here."<br />
"I wanna give you some thing very special.", she said as she pulled off her dress. "You are a very special white fella. You are a very good man. Come on.", she said as she laid down in the thick red dust. "Take off ya clothes and put it in here. I've got a gift for you."<br />
We laid down in the Bush for at least 3 hours. When we were finished, I looked more like a black fella than a white one 'cause I was covered all over in layers of red earth.<br />
"Let's go back now.", she said. "The Sun will be comin' up soon. It's not good for you if white fellas see you with a black Gin."<br />
<br />
When we got back to the tin humpy, Redpath was fast asleep in the front of his Ute. The other Abbo girl was asleep on one of the rickety beds.<br />
"You'd better wake him up and go now before some of my family show up."<br />
<br />
It took me ages to wake up Redpath. When he eventually came too, he said,<br />
"Gives us a middy mate!"<br />
<br />
Come Sunday evening Redpath and me drove back out into the Bush for another weeks hard work shearing Wethers.<br />
The cooks name was Paddy Slaven. He was an old Irish immigrant with a bald head, fat round face and a chronic drinking problem.<br />
<br />
People who live in the Bush that have bad drinking problems are not called 'alcoholics' as long as they can get up and go to work everyday but once the grog has really gotten hold of 'em and they can no longer work, then and only then are they branded as close to being an 'alchy'.<br />
<br />
Old Paddy was as close to being an 'alchy' as possible, without actually being labeled one. He drank from 5 in the morning until 11 at night, when he eventually ran out of grog. If he couldn't borrow a half-gallon of plonk, he would start on the Vanilla Essence. Many a contractor thought that Paddy would be baking a lot of cakes by the amount of Vanilla Essence he ordered for the stores but I can't remember ever eating one of Paddys' cakes.<br />
<br />
When we finished that shed, we drove back into Wilcania for the weekend. On Saturday morning old Paddy was propped up at the bar drinking with one of his mates he'd met in town. By the time the afternoon arrived, he was broke down to the bones of his arse. When I walked into the bar, he made a bee-line for me. He gave me a sob story about having no money left for food.<br />
I was still pretty naive in those days. It only took old Paddy a few minutes to relieve me of a 10 dollar note, after promising to go to the Dagos' shop and buy himself a good feed. When he walked away from me with the 10 bucks, I decided to keep an eye on him to make sure he didn't forget the purpose of the loan.<br />
As I watched him closely, he slid the 10 dollar bill over the counter for the Publican to change. When he got it back in two fives he gave his drinkin' mate $5 and ordered another round of booze out of his 5. Once I saw that, I was really pissed! I walked over to where he was sittin' and said,<br />
"Hey Paddy, ya told me ya wanted to buy ya self some food cause ya hadn't eaten for 24 hours!"<br />
"Yeah, Yeah Yorky. Ya know how it is mate."<br />
"No I fucking don't Paddy. All I know is that you're a fucking liar! If I had known you were gonna blow it on booze, I'd have never given it to ya!"<br />
"You'll git ya fucking money back mate. Why are ya so angry?"<br />
"Cause you're a real fucking con-man Paddy and on top of that you're a chronic fucking alcoholic!"<br />
"Don't ya fucking dare speak to me like that ya pommy bastard!"<br />
"Why Paddy, what ya gonna do about it. You'll never be sober enough to remember what I called ya."<br />
"I'll knock ya arse over head in a minute."<br />
"You and who else Paddy, ya drunken alchy mate? I could beat the shit out of both of ya with one fucking arm. Anyway, I'll tell ya one thing for sure, ya fucking lush. If I ever saw ya starving in the gutter, I wouldn't piss on ya if ya were on fire. You're better off dead! As far as the 10 bucks go, ya can keep it Sport. From now on I'll warn everybody I know about ya, ya fucking con-man!"<br />
<br />
With that, I left him to his misery and went to the cafe, miself, for a good breakfast. I didn't very often get angry with people but that morning, if old Paddy had have pushed the issue too far I would have put him out of his fuckin' misery.<br />
<br />
I spent most of the afternoon playing pool and having a few beers with some of the shearers I'd met. As I was scanning the local paper, I read a small article about 3 blokes who'd killed themselves in a car crash on the outskirts of town. The article said that they were all blind drunk and had hit a Semi-trailer head on. The articles' headline read, TWO MEN AND A SHEARER KILLED! That headline was the usual local attitude toward shearers or anyone who worked in the sheds.<br />
<br />
Later on that evening, I saw the Aborigine girl I'd met the week before. I took off into the Bush with her again before the long night was over. The following morning, as I was having a beer with Redpath, who was in a pretty bad state, the local Wilcania Sargeant appeared at the front door of the pub. I know, because I could see him in the large mirror behind the bar.<br />
"Oye! You, ya bastard. Come out here."<br />
Every one in the bar turned around, except me.<br />
"Oye!", he said again. "If I have to come in there and git ya, you'll be in deep shit mate!"<br />
Slowly, I turned around on my stool and faced the front door.<br />
"Yeh, you ya bastard."<br />
"Come out here, I wanna a fucking word with you!"<br />
"G'day sport.", he said in a nasty tone of voice.<br />
"G'day, Sergeant what can I do for ya?", I said.<br />
"Ya can't do a thing for me cobber but I've got a message for you!"<br />
<br />
I had no idea whatsoever what the big, ugly Sergeant was talking about so I just kept quiet and waited.<br />
<br />
"I understand from my source that ya fucking one of our local Gins."<br />
His nasty tone and bluntness took me by surprise, but only for a second. I said to him,<br />
"Your understanding from your source is wrong, Sargeant."<br />
"I don't think so cobber, so listen to me and listen real good sport. If ya still in Wilcania by 1 O'clock this afternoon, I'll fucking lock ya up!"<br />
"Why would ya do that? I haven't broken any of ya laws?"<br />
"We've got a law in this town called 'Consorting'. If I was you sport I'd get the fuck out-a this town and don't fucking come back!"<br />
With that, he walked off down the street to where he'd parked the local blue Bull-Wagon.<br />
<br />
When I walked back into the bar, Redpath, seedy as he was from his Saturday night binge said to me,<br />
"What did that big ugly bastard want?"<br />
"He told me if I was still in town by 1 O'clock today, he was going to jail me for consorting."<br />
"Fuckin' streuth!", said Redpath, who was now wide awake. "Let's grab a couple dozen bottles and git out of here before the ugly bastard comes back."<br />
"Why, what does 'consorting' mean?"<br />
"It means, ya not even allowed to talk to those black sheilas. If he finds out for sure that ya fucked one of 'em, he'll fuckin' lock both of us up and throw away the fuckin' key!"<br />
Redpath downed his middy in one large swallow. He paid the Publican for 2 dozen large bottles of Pilsner, then said to me,<br />
"Let's git our gear from the hotel and git out a' here. I'm sick of this scungy, fucking town anyway!"<br />
<br />
Once our swags were packed and put in the back of the Ute, we were once more on our way. We left Wilcania behind in a cloud of red dust.<br />
<br />
Redpath only drove a few miles before he said to me,<br />
"I'll pull over to the side of the road and you can drive, if ya like. This driving caper is interfering with a mans' drinkin'."<br />
When the Ute stopped, we exchanged seats. I pushed mi foot down on the accelerator and I said to Redpath,<br />
"Where to now mate?"<br />
"I think we'll head off South, Yorky. We'll see if we can pick up a pen in those big, fat Corradale sheep. I'm a bit sick of shearing rough Whethers. Besides, that Victorian Bitter is not too bad a drop of grog. I haven't had any since last year. We'll head down to a place called Hamilton. I'll git the road map out and once we know where we're heading, I can relax and have a few beers while you drive."<br />
<br />
On the way down to Hamilton, we stopped at a place called Horsham. Redpath ran into a contractor that he'd worked for a few years before.<br />
His name was Ron McClure. McClure was looking for one shearer. He had about six weeks worth of work so Redpath took the pen.<br />
As we sat in the bar, I was starting to worry a bit because I had no work and no way of traveling without Redpath. At the end of the evening Redpath said,<br />
"We're gonna stay at McClures' place tonight and tomorrow I'm gonna drive ya down to Hamilton. McClure says you're sure to pick up a pen shearing at this time of year. They're in full swing down there."<br />
<br />
The following day, we took off early cause Redpath had to get back to Horsham. He dropped me off at the local shearers' pub. After I booked in, we had a couple of beers together.<br />
<br />
For all his problems, old Redpath had a big heart. Anyone else would have left me stuck in Horsham, but not old Redpath. After we said our goodbyes, he took off and I ordered another beer. I remember it was somewhere around 3 O'clock in the afternoon. I had another 3 hours to wait until the local shearers started to roll in.<br />
<br />
One thing about a shearers' pub is it doesn't take very long before one gets to know the local crowd. By 10 that evening, I'd met who a bloke who arranged a pen for me, starting in a few days.<br />
<br />
A couple of days later as we drove onto the cockys' place, I noticed the size of the sheep. A Merino sheep is usually pretty light unless they've been on real good tucker. These sheep I was now looking at were huge, wooly Coradales', probably weighing around the 150 pound mark.<br />
<br />
The cocky was and old German called Shultz. Him and his son, who was about 22, ran the place. The shearers quarters were an old run-down house which had no electricity or fly screens on the windows. Because the grass around that area was long and green, mosquitos were a constant plague.<br />
<br />
In the morning, I got into mi shearing gear and made mi way over to the main house for a bit of breakfast before I started. Shultz was also the cook. He told me his old lady had died a few years back and he was left to raise the boy on his own.<br />
<br />
At 7:30 I was loaded up and ready to start shearing. The shed was a small 2-stander and just after 7:30 another shearer turned up from town. He walked into the shed with his tucker box and a comb and cutter tin. As soon as he looked over the wall into his pen, he said to me,<br />
"Jesus Christ mate, these fucking sheep look like baby elephants! I'll be flatstrap shearing a fucking 100 a day in these bastards!"<br />
<br />
It took me all my my strength to drag the big, wooly Coradale Ewes out of the holding pen, not to mention shearing them. I'd only been shearing for about a year but not consistently so my lack of experience did not enhance my ability to shear a good tally.<br />
<br />
Normally, if I worked mi guts out all day I could shear anywhere between 80 to 100 Merinos. After 2 hard hours of shearing old Shultzs' Coradales, I had only managed to poke out 15! The wool was really long and hard-cutting which meant I had to change the combs and cutters a lot. Because the sheep were so fat they did not like being sat up or rolled on their backs. To show their disapproval, they kicked like hell. The bloke next to me cursed and swore as he sweated over the huge Coradales.<br />
By lunch time he had shorn 45. Once old Shultz was out of earshot, he said to me,<br />
"I'll be looking for another pen tonight when I git back to town. The bloke who told me about this place said they were not bad shearing. Wait till I see that lying bastard again!"<br />
"How long ya been shearing?", I asked him.<br />
"15 years mate. How about you?"<br />
"About a year, but not every week."<br />
"You've only been shearing a year mate? Jesus sport, you're going real well in these mongrel bastards!"<br />
"Not really. I'll be flat out getting 60 today."<br />
"But that's pretty good for a learner Yorky. Look at me, I've only done 45. The last place I was at, I was shearing 150 a day."<br />
"So ya think I'm going alright?"<br />
"Listen mate, I'm one of the fastest shearers in Hamilton. Any bastard will tell ya that. As far as I'm concerned, if you can shear 60 for the day in these bastards, you're alright in my book sport."<br />
<br />
At first, I was feeling really down cause I expected to shear at least 80 a day but this bloke on the stand next to me helped me feel a lot better about miself. He was a real supportive bloke.<br />
<br />
He stayed at the shed about a week before he pulled the pin on the old cocky. Over the next few days he stopped several times to give me some good pointers on how to make the job easier for miself.<br />
<br />
On Friday night, I drove into Hamilton with him and booked into the Hotel. Over the weekend I met quite a few shearers in the barroom. Some of 'em were good blokes and some of 'em were real bastards. One bloke asked me how many a day I was shearing. When I told him 60, he started to laugh and take the piss out of me. As he was doing this, the shearer who had been working with me all week came into the bar. He was a well-known bloke around Hamilton. People greeted him as he waked in. When he saw me at the bar, he came over and said,<br />
"Drink up Yorky, I'll buy ya a beer mate."<br />
"Good on ya.", I said. "Good to see ya again,"<br />
The shearer who had been taking the piss out of me knew the gun shearer who had just bought me a beer. He said to him,<br />
"Where ya been shearing at mate?"<br />
"I've been shearing with Yorky all week out at Shultzs' place."<br />
"How many ya doing a day there?", he asked him.<br />
"90 was mi best day,"<br />
"Fucking hell sport, they must be real tough going for you to only shear 90 in 'em?"<br />
"They fucking are.", he said. "Old Yorky here was doing as well as me for the length of time he's been shearing."<br />
"Jesus Christ.", said the piss taker. "I'm sorry for taking the piss out of ya mate. I didn't realize how touch a-goin' the sheep were."<br />
<br />
The bloke I worked all week with said, "They been taking the piss out of ya Yorky, have they mate? Well don't let it worry ya sport cause these lazy bastards wouldn't shear 50 a day in those sheep. I'll put mi money on you any day of the fucking week mate. Drink up Yorky, I'll buy ya another beer."<br />
From that point on, no one else took the piss out of me. In fact, I had a pretty good time in Hamilton the 6 weekends I spent there."<br />
<br />
After the bar closed down at 10:30, I made mi way out to the lounge. The lounge was open at least another 3 hours for residents and their guests. I met a shearer called Brian Cullen. Brian was a pretty big, strong bloke who came from Cunnamula. We hit it off right from the beginning. That made mi stay there a lot more comfortable.<br />
<br />
Once that shed was finished, I left a message for Redpath at McClures' place. He returned my message saying, 'Hitchhike up to Horsham. I've got a pen for ya, shearing with me.' The message made me feel really good. I packed up mi case, paid mi bill at the bar and made mi way up to the Hotel in Horsham where I found Redpath, full as a boot, propping the bar up.<br />
<br />
Redpath was very supportive of my shearing efforts. The following day we drove out to the Bush to start another shed. One weekend, whilst hanging out in the bar, I met a bloke, Clay O'malley. He was a handsome-looking bloke with wide shoulders and a reputation to match. He was very popular with the sheilas and the contractors for his respective talents.<br />
<br />
Redpath and me were sat quietly at the bar drinking a cold beer when he made his grand entrance. Modesty was not one of O'malleys' better qualities. Before long, he was bragging about the amount of sheep he could shear, the amount of sheilas he'd had and the amount of grog he could hold.<br />
During his bragging session, the subject somehow got on to snakes. As expected, O'malley was also an authority on poisonous snakes. To prove it, he said he'd head out into the bush and catch one. The Publican told him no to be so stupid because he had too much grog in him. True to form, O'malley would not have a bar of it. He downed his beer in one mouthful, picked up his change, then made his exit from the bar.<br />
Whilst he was gone, no one gave it another thought because most people were used to his ways. It wasn't until he made his grand entrance again, carrying a small sugar bag that anyone took him seriously.<br />
"Give us another middy.", he said to the publican as he sat down on the bar stool and put the sugar bag on top of the bar.<br />
"What's in the bag Clay?", said Redpath, who was not at all keen on snakes.<br />
"It's a copper-head mate?"<br />
"Oh Bullshit!", said Redpath, who was now sliding his stool a couple more feet to the right of the bag.<br />
"I tell ya, it's a copper head mate. As soon as I've finished this beer, I'll get it out and show you.<br />
<br />
O'malley didn't wait to finish his beer, instead he slid his bar stool back from the counter and started to undo the string which held the top of the sugar bag securely tied. Once the string had been loosened he held it closed with his left hand.<br />
"Now I'll show you bastards what's in the bag!", he said as he felt around the outside of it. "Ah, here we go!" he said as he held onto something from the outside.<br />
"I've got hold of his head now. I'm gonna put mi hand inside the bag and pull him out!"<br />
<br />
Everyone, including myself, stepped back at least another 3 feet as he let go of the bag opening. O'malley pushed his hand, very carefully, into the bag as we all looked on. Just then he pulled his hand back out at great speed and said,<br />
"Shit! Bastard! He fucking got me!"<br />
"What d'ya mean, 'he got me'?", said Redpath.<br />
"I thought I had hold of his head securely but he wriggled free and bit me thumb!", he said as he closed the bag tightly.<br />
"Hurry up!", he said in a panicked voice. "You've gotta get me to a hospital!"<br />
Redpath, drunk as he was, sprang into action!<br />
"Alright, hurry up mate. My Ute's outside. I'll take ya!<br />
<br />
The publican told us where the closest hospital was. Before we went any further, O'malley cut his thumb and tied a piece of string around it as fast as he could. In no time at all, we were doing 90 miles an hour up the wide bitchuman highway towards the hospital. On the way, O'malley kept saying to me, "Undo the tourniquet and move it up a bit and then pull it as tight as ya can." Once this was done, he said, "Well, it looks like I'm really fucked now. I'll never make it cause once the tourniquet's up to the top of mi arm, there's no where else to tie it!"<br />
<br />
Redpath drove like a first-class racing car driver as he steered the Ute around the wide corners with the needle bouncing on 105, most of the time. Before long, I had made the last tie, just below the shoulder muscle in O'malleys' left arm.<br />
"That's it. We can't move it again. I'm out of time mate! I always wondered how I was gonna die. Now I don't have to wonder anymore."<br />
"You'll be alright mate.", I said. "Don't worry, there's not too far to go now!"<br />
"How far to go, Redpath?", asked O'malley.<br />
"Twenty miles mate but at this speed it won't take long."<br />
"I'm fucked! Now I'm really fucked! Tell mi old lady what happened will ya and do what ya can for mi kids."<br />
O'malley was now starting to get groggy. His eyes started to close and his breathing became shallow and slower.<br />
"Don't let me go to sleep." he said in a whisper. "Keep me awake."<br />
The only thing I could think to do was to slap his face and shake him.<br />
"Tell me how many sheep ya shore last week mate?", I said<br />
"I was the fastest in the shed.", he said softly.<br />
"Just as fucking well for you that I wasn't shearing next to you, ya gutless bastard. I'd have run rings around ya!", I said.<br />
This statement brought him back a bit, so I pursued it further.<br />
"The only problem with you fucking Aussies is ya full of shit and ya got no balls. A fucking good pommy could blow ya arse off, in a shed!". I said, as his head lolled from side to side.<br />
"Wake up, ya gutless bastard!". I screamed at him as I slapped his face from side to side.<br />
"That fucking hurts.", he said in a soft whisper.<br />
"That's because you've got no fucking guts O'malley. You're all fucking talk and no action!, I yelled in his face.<br />
"I could work you into the ground, ya fucking pommy bastard." he said as his head lolled forwards.<br />
"You haven't got the fucking balls O'malley!", I screamed at him.<br />
I pulled his head up and I slapped his face around a bit more.<br />
"Hospital's coming up on the left", said Redpath. "Smack him around a bit more mate. Don't let him drift off!"<br />
<br />
As we pulled up outside the Emergency entrance, a couple of doctors were waiting with a wheel chair. The publican had called ahead and everyone was fully prepared for him. It only took seconds before he was out of the Ute and into the wheelchair heading for the front door.<br />
<br />
Redpath and me parked the Ute and then went into the Emergency waiting room to wait for some information. After about an hour, a doctor came out and said,<br />
"He's gonna be alright now. We gave him a shot of anti-venom and he's sleeping peacefully. It's a good job you kept him conscious, cause if not, he'd be dead by now."<br />
"How long will he be kept in?" asked Redpath.<br />
"At least 5 hours or so. We want to make sure he's alright before we let him go."<br />
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We decided there was no more we could do. We filled up the Ute with petrol and drove back to the hotel, only this time the speedo needle never got above 60.<br />
"You're not a bad driver.", I jokingly said to Redpath.<br />
"You're not a bad psychologist. Ya really got his attention when ya called him a gutless bastard and told him ya were gonna run rings around him if ever you were in the same shed together."<br />
"Yeah mate, but I wouldn't dare tell him that, had he been alright."<br />
"Fucking hell no. He's knocked some real big men arse over head for just looking sideways at him."<br />
"Oh shit. I hope he doesn't remember!"<br />
<br />
Late that afternoon, O'malley made another grand entrance into the barroom. This time his thumb was bandaged and his ego was a bit bruised.<br />
"Are ya alright mate?", I asked him.<br />
"Course I'm fucking alright. I'm an Aussie. If it had been a pommy bastard that'd gotten bit, he'd have been dead by now."<br />
Redpath piped up, in a drunken slur, and said,<br />
"If it wasn't for this pommy, you'd have been one big, dead, fucking Aussie. I think you owe us, at least, a round of beer so quit your skiting and put ya fucking money where ya mouth is!"<br />
"We'll have 2 more middys' publican." said O'malley.<br />
<br />
Not long after that Redpath and me did a couple of sheds in South Australia at a place called Narrow Court. We both lost a good few bucks on a horse called Tobin Bronze. According to Redpath, he could not lose! After that, we drove to a place called White Cliffs where they mine for Opal.<br />
There was not much work around by now. Redpath told me to go to Broken Hill cause he was gonna get on the grog for at least a week. He said he'd had it with shearing for a while.<br />
<br />
I said goodbye to Redpath the following day and got a ride with the mail truck to Broken Hill. I never saw Redpath again after that. I firmly believe that if he's still alive, he can be found propping up the bar at the Hilston Hotel in New South Wales!<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4725535300199715328.post-84824760984478523402018-01-02T11:50:00.000-08:002019-03-09T13:17:16.128-08:00LEAVING BURTS PLACE ~Part 9 ~ CHAPTER 3 © I'd been working on Burts' property for quite a while now and things had not improved one bit. One evening, Peter Smith unexpectedly drove into Burts' yard and stopped his Ute, in a cloud of dust, outside my tin shed doorway.<br />
"G'day ya bastard.", he said with a huge grin on his face.<br />
"G'day Peter. How are ya mate?"<br />
My use of the Aussie accent and lingo was now improving, somewhat.<br />
"I'm good sport, and I'm good because I've got some good news for ya Yorky!"<br />
"Ya got me a new job Peter?"<br />
"Sure have mate. It took me awhile but I eventually found one for ya."<br />
"What's it doing? Who will I be working for?"<br />
"Well mate, you'll be starting a new career in contract fencing with a real good bloke called Jim Smith."<br />
"Is he any relation to you Peter?"<br />
"Na mate, no relation at all but he's a beaut bloke. Ya can start with him in a fortnight from today."<br />
"That's really great, but why can't I start tomorrow mate?"<br />
" Cause first you've got to give old Burt a couple of weeks notice."<br />
"Why should I do that Peter? Why not just leave the old bastard in the shit where he belongs?"<br />
"Can't do that. For one thing, it's not the done thing in the Bush and for another you've probably got almost half a years holiday pay comin' to ya. It would be stupid to forfeit that so old Burt could keep it. Besides mate, we'll have a hell of a battle getting it out of him as it is!"<br />
"Alright Peter, whatever you say. When should I break the good news to him?"<br />
"Tell him first thing tomorrow morning. If he gives ya a hard time, tell him to call me. I don't particularly want to get on the wrong side of Burt but it's my job to look after ya, if ya need any help. I was a bit luckier that you when I first came out here. They sent me to Fred Harzeys' place and he's not too bad a bloke. Mind you, he can be a bit of a bastard when he wants to be but he know he can't find a better worker than me. Most of the time we see eye to eye on things. Anyways Yorky, give us a call as soon as ya 14 days are up and I'll come and pick ya up and take ya over to Jims' place. I think you'll like him, he's a real kind-hearted sort of bloke."<br />
"I don't know how to thank ya mate."<br />
No need mate. I told you once already, I'd do the same for a white fella' anyday!"<br />
<br />
This statement eased the situation and made us both laugh out loud.<br />
"Alright mate, gotta run. See ya later and don't forget, give us a ring if ya need me."<br />
I expressed my gratefulness once again. Peter turned the key of his Ute, put it in first and spun the wheels in the red dust as he tore off down the Paddock track, over the ramp and right, towards Lake Cargelligo.<br />
<br />
That evening, I found it hard to rest because of all the unknown factors that were about to come into play in my young life. The main source of excitement came from the fact of knowing I was about to pull the pin on old Burtie!<br />
<br />
The following morning I was up earlier than usual. The cows were brought in and milked with time to spare. I decided to go back to mi room to wait for breakfast. I left mi door open, as I lay on top of mi bed with mi boots resting on the bottom rail. I'd just rolled a home-made Drum cigarette when old Burt came striding across the yard. I'd left mi door open so I could see him or anyone else, who was up and around.<br />
<br />
"Come on!, he called to me in an un unusually rough manner. "What are you doing still in bed, laid there smoking? We've got work to do! Go and get the cows in. I'm runnin' a bit late this morning!"<br />
"They're in! Milked and back out in the paddock already."<br />
"What d'ya mean. It's only 6 O'clock?"<br />
"I couldn't rest so I started a bit earlier this morning."<br />
"Alright then, ya can go and weed the wifes' veggie garden before breakfast!"<br />
<br />
Old Kay had a good veggie garden that she was real proud of. She was always skyting about how clean she kept it but it was me who always had to pull out the hard chickweed and skeleton weed so I said to Burt, 'NO'!<br />
"What d'ya mean NO? Get up off ya lazy pommy back and do as ya told, ya bastard!"<br />
"FUCK YOUR BURT! I didn't start at 4:30 this morning to end up pulling lousy weeds out of your wifes' garden!"<br />
Burts' face was not turning a dark crimson color by the second.<br />
"I'll knock ya arse over head if ya talk to me like that, and further more, I'll call the BBM and have ya deported, ya ungrateful pommy bstard!"<br />
"Hey Burt, You've been cursing at me for quite a while now and I did not leave home and come 12,800 miles to live with someone worse than mi stepfather and furthermore I came out here to learn a trade of some sort. So far, all I've done is to swing a bloody axe, shovel hot coals, pick up bloody stumps and weed your wifes' veggie garden. She's so proud of that veggie patch, she can weed it herself!"<br />
Burt was so cranky now, he was starting to stutter.<br />
"I'll-I'll I'll- knock ya arse over head ya bastard and then I'll fire ya, ya pommy bastard!", he roared.<br />
"You'll do nothing of the sort Burt.", I said in a cool manner. "Cause I'm pulling the pin. I'm giving ya 14 days notice, from this morning and when I leave I'll expect some holiday pay as well as mi monthly 12 quid!"<br />
"What did you say, ya cheeky bastard?"<br />
"You heard Burt! I'm pullin' the pin on ya mate."<br />
"Ya can't pull the pin on me mate!", he roared. I'm gonna call Sydney now and have a word with Mansell about you!"<br />
"Call whoever ya like Burt, Mansell knows I'm leaving here. Peter Smith already called him and Mansell says he'll not send anymore pommys to this place if ya don't give me my holiday pay at the end of 14 days and furthermore Burt, for every day you make me wait over the 14 days, you'll be charged a penalty! How d'ya like that Burt?"<br />
'You'll git no holiday pay out a' me, ya lazy mongrel bastard! I'll see you in hell first!"<br />
"I'll be waiting for ya when ya get there Burt!, I said, then laid back on mi bed and finished mi smoke.<br />
<br />
Old Burt strode off across the dirt yard at double his normal speed now. The garden gates slammed shut and the back fly-screen door bounced on its hinges more than its usual twice.<br />
Mi heart was now beating 10 to the dozen and mi hands had a slight shake to them as the life-force banged out a kettle drum beat in mi navel.<br />
<br />
'At long last,' I thought, all these long months of putting up with that miserable, tight arsed old bastards abuse. Months of living in fear of him deporting me, but today is Yorkys' day! Let that be a lesson to you Yorky mate, said my inner heart, Once ya buy into fear ya rooted! You'd may as well lie down and die!'<br />
<br />
Twenty minutes later old Kay rang the cow bell for breakfast. I walked slowly over to the house, not knowing what was going to happen. When I got inside, Burt was chomping down on a small mutton chop bone. His hands were still shaking as he picked up his cup of tea. When I sat down, Kay said to me, "Burt tells me you're leaving us Richard. Aren't you happy here anymore?"<br />
"It's nothing to do with you, Mrs. Booth, but I've never been happy since they sent me hear from Cabrammatta."<br />
"Oh, I had no idea ya felt like that. Why aren't you happy here?"<br />
"Ask Burt, he'll tell ya."<br />
"It's no good asking me.", said Burt. "Far as I'm concerned you've been treated well."<br />
"Yeh, I thought we'd been very good to you Richard.", said Kay.<br />
"Oh really, d'ya think it's good being abused all day and getting chased through the bush by an axe-wielding madman?"<br />
"l've got no idea what you're talking about Richard.", said Kay.<br />
"Then Burt, obviously, doesn't tell you much Mrs. Booth. Anyway, it's nearly all over now and there's nothing you can say will change mi mind. I've pulled the pin now and I'll be off in 14 days. I'm not very hungry this morning Mrs. Booth. I'll wait for ya outside Burt.", I said, as I pushed mi chair back and walked out of the kitchen.<br />
<br />
Over the next 14 days, Burt carried on as normal. I thought he might loosen up a bit but he never changed, right up until the morning Peter Smith drove up the track to pick me up.<br />
"Ya got ya gear all packed up mate?", he asked as he leaned out the window of the Ute.<br />
"I never unpacked it. I knew from the first day, I wouldn't be retiring here."<br />
Peter had a chuckle and then said, "Put ya gear in the back, mate. I'll let old Burt know where to send ya holiday money to."<br />
Just then Burt called to me from the back veranda,"You better come and git ya money before ya go mate."<br />
"I'll be there in a minute.", I said.<br />
"Go and pick up ya pay said Peter."<br />
"Alright.", I said and than walked over to Burts' house for the last time.<br />
"Ya gotta months pay coming.", he said, as I entered the kitchen.<br />
"A months' pay and 5 1/2 months holiday pay,", I said to him.<br />
"You'll git no holiday pay from me mate!", he said, as he wrote out a check for 12 pounds and 2 shillings.<br />
"The Award Sheet says I'm due for holiday pay, Burt."<br />
"I don't give a rats' arse what the Award Sheet says, you'll git no holiday pay from me mate!"<br />
"Ya don't mind working off the Award Sheet when it comes to paying wages and taking board and tucker though eh Burt?"<br />
He didn't bother to answer me, he just said, "Here, sign here if ya want ya wages. I got work to do today!"<br />
<br />
"Did he give you ya holiday pay Yorky?", said Peter, when I got back to the Ute.<br />
"No mate, he said he won't pay it."<br />
"Alright mate, wait here for me. I'll go and have a word with him."<br />
<br />
"No luck mate.", he said, as he returned. "He's determined not to pay it, so we'll have to call Mansell in Sydney. If anyone can get it, he will.", said Peter. "Hop in the Ute Yorky, Let's git out of here. Jim Smith is waiting for us at Burts' far boundary fence."<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4725535300199715328.post-43308922398409481182018-01-02T11:24:00.001-08:002021-04-13T06:50:15.165-07:00MARKING LAMBS On Monday morning at 10 to 6, I was sitting on Gilltraps' steps waiting for Kevin Skippy to pick me up for a couple of days work, marking lambs.<br />
"G'day, ya pommy fucking' bastard.", he yelled out the window as he pulled into the curb. "Chuck ya tucker box in the back and hop in mate."<br />
"How are ya, ya Aussie fuckin' bastard?", I asked as we shook hands.<br />
"Jesus!", said Kevin, as he spun the wheels and left a small dust cloud behind us. "Ya really gettin' our Aussie lingo down Yorky mate."<br />
"Yeah, I've been gettin' a bit sick of people mimicking my Yorkshire accent and taking the piss out of me."<br />
"Oh, don't worry about that sport. We've been extracting the urine out a' pommys since they've been coming out here. Ask Stan Granthem, he speaks good Occa lingo now and we still take the piss! So what have ya been up to Yorky? Ya got yourself a good root since ya been livin' in town?"<br />
"No mate. No such luck in that department."<br />
"What about some of those young Mission sheilas' that hang out around Gilltarps?"<br />
"No mate, no luck there either."<br />
"Ya still haven't had a root yet Yorky mate?"<br />
"In one word Skippy, No!"<br />
"I've got a pretty good-looking sheep in the backyard at our place. I could put a good word in there for ya, if ya like."<br />
"Fuck you Skippy. I'm desperate but not that desperate."<br />
"I don't blame ya.", he said as he laughed out loud. "Anyway it's too hard to pull their head around to kiss 'em!"<br />
<br />
This little joke gave me a really good laugh as I said,<br />
"Oh mate, what a fuckin' great joke. I'm gonna' remember that one."<br />
"Good on ya Yorky mate. She's a pretty tough life out here in the Bush sport and a good joke never goes astray. They tell me ya gittin' a few middys into ya self since you've been living at Traps."<br />
"Yeah, there's not much else to do in the Lake, if ya single."<br />
"Ya not gonna' end up like some of those old Alchis' are ya?"<br />
"Course I'm fuckin' not. Just because I'm a pommy doesn't mean I'm stupid."<br />
"You'll have to give me a few minutes to think about that one mate!<br />
"Fuck you Skippy.", I said with a smile. "What we doing today anyway?"<br />
"Marking lambs mate, before we fatten 'em up for the auction."<br />
"I've never done it before, ya know."<br />
"No worries mate, you'll be catching 'em, Digger's gonna' mark 'em and I'm gonna' draft 'em off and shift 'em back into the paddocks."<br />
<br />
Pretty soon we were driving over the ramp at Skippys' property. I could already see a large mob of Ewes and lambs in and around the sheep-yards. We parked the ute under a shady tree and walked towards the yards. Digger was filling up a back-pack of drench. As soon as he saw me, he said,<br />
"Yorky, ya pommy bastard. How are ya cobber?"<br />
"Good mate.", I said as we shook hands.<br />
"Ya like living in town mate?"<br />
"It's not bad mate. There's still not much to do though."<br />
"I don't know about that Yorky. A little bird told me that ya rootin' one of those pretty little half-cast ginns from out at the Mission."<br />
"Bullshit Digger.", I said. "Ya little bird's full a' shit!"<br />
"That's not what I heard Yorky. I don't wanna' see ya sittin' on Shamens' corner with a couple a' pic-a-ninis' on ya knee next time I'm in town."<br />
"Fuck you Digger, you're such a bullshiter mate."<br />
"Yeah, I know, but it's good fun Yorky. You're always good for a laugh mate."<br />
<br />
"G'day Yorky.", said Dick as he walked over to where we were laughing and joking. "Didn't ya' bring that pretty little half-cast sheila I saw ya with on Saturday night?"<br />
"Fuckin' hell Dick, you're just as bad as ya sons."<br />
"Right, first time Yorky. Where d'ya think they git it from? Hey Kevin, bring that mob a' ewes and lambs in from the back boundary paddock, near Diggers' place. We'll git started on this mob. I'll draft 'em off while we're waitin' for ya."<br />
"So, what d'ya want me to do Dick?", I asked.<br />
"Digger will show ya mate. He's the expert."<br />
"Bullshit Dad, I'm the mug that ends up with the shitty end of the stick!"<br />
<br />
"Come on Yorky mate. Let's git started.", said Digger. "Sooner we start, the sooner we finish."<br />
Digger and me walked over to a part of the sheep-yard fence that had a 2 foot long, 1 foot wide plank that was screwed onto the top rail.<br />
"Right mate, you catch the lambs after they're drafted off from the ewes and carry them over here. I'll go grab one and show ya how to hold 'em."<br />
Digger grabbed hold of a lamb and carried it over to the fence.<br />
"Alright, ya hold it like this mate, with his front and back leg together on each side. Ya sit his arse on the plank and push down a bit. Ya got it mate?"<br />
"Looks easy enough to me Digger."<br />
"It's easy at the beginning of the day Yorky, but by Sundown tonight ya hands will have cramp in 'em from the little bastards' struggling. Grab hold of this one mate while I get on the other side of the fence."<br />
<br />
As soon as Digger was ready he said,<br />
"Now hang on to her mate!"<br />
First up, he grabbed a pair of ear-marking pliers. He took half of the lambs' ear and clipped a piece out of it which left their brand hole in it. The hole filled up with a small amount of blood.<br />
"This is a ewe mate, so ear-mark and tail is all we do on this one."<br />
Then he picked up a small, sharp-bladed knife which had 2 spring-like jaws for a handle. The spring jaws had serrated teeth on each side.<br />
"Ya see this bit of bare skin under her tail, here right before the wool starts growin'?"<br />
"Yeah, what about it?"<br />
"SWISH! Ya cut the tail off right there." The tail came off quite easily as the knife was really sharp. "If ya cut it too short mate, the blow-flys will get on its arse-hole and chances are they'll blow it"<br />
"What happens then mate?"<br />
"Maggots, mate. They'll start boring holes into and around its tucker-shute. How d'y like maggots boring into ya tucker shoot Yorky?"<br />
"Not fucking likely!", I said as Digger had a good laugh.<br />
Digger dabbed a bit of tar on the lambs tail and then said,<br />
"Let her go mate!"<br />
Once the lambs' feet were on the ground again, she ran around a bit, twitching her tail and ear, bleating for her mother. The next lamb I caught turned out to be a male.<br />
"Jesus mate, ya got a whether, or soon to be. Hold him steady mate." said Digger as he marked the opposite ear.<br />
<br />
This time he cut the top of the lambs ball-sack. Then he pushed back the ball-sack with his fingers and two small pink testicles popped out.<br />
What he did next, fuckin' shocked me! Digger put his head between the lambs back legs, grabbed one of the balls between his teeth and then pulled his head back. He now had a pink testicle in his mouth which had a small tube hanging off of it. Then he spit the testicle onto the dusty ground. Almost immediately one of the red Kelpies ran in, grabbed it and swallowed it in one gulp. Repeating the process, the lamb was now short his 2 small balls. After he cut off the tail, he chucked it on the ground, dabbed the stump and empty ball-sack with tar and said,<br />
"Let it go Yorky mate. He's done!"<br />
<br />
The front of mi singlet had now acquired blood streaks, which came from cutting the tail off, all down the front. Each time a tail was cut, the hairline veins spurted out a thin stream of blood. I now had it on mi face as well as mi arms. It wasn't long before the bush flies arrived, which by days-end was torturous.<br />
<br />
"Don't some cockys put rubber rings on their balls and tail Digger?"<br />
"Yeah mate, but that hurts 'em a hell of a lot more than this way."<br />
"How d'ya know that mate?"<br />
"Well mate, once ya let 'em up doing it this way, they run around and jump up and down a bit, right?Now when ya put a ring on their ball sack and tail, they run and jump a little bit and then they lay down on the ground for quite a while."<br />
"Why's that Digger?"<br />
"Why d'ya think mate."<br />
" 'Cause you've cut the blood supply off?"<br />
"Right first time mate. It also takes a good few days for the nuts and tail to rot off."<br />
"Fuck that for a game of tin soldiers Digger! I'm fuckin' glad I'm not a sheep!"<br />
<br />
Just then, old Dick came over and said to me,<br />
"I think when we've marked all these lambs Yorky, we'd better do you mate! It'll save ya havin' a swag of pic-a-ninis to look after. What d'ya reckon mate?"<br />
"Fuck you Dick! My balls are staying right where they are, even though I haven't needed 'em yet!"<br />
We all had a good laugh over that one till Digger said,<br />
"Alright Yorky mate, it's your turn. I'll go catch one for ya."<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4725535300199715328.post-47394775421389177532018-01-02T11:19:00.000-08:002020-08-21T09:30:26.664-07:00FERAL GOATS & SAMMY THE DAGO Part 1 © My two favorite haunts in Lake Cargelligo were Gilltraps and the Dagos' shop. Gilltraps provided me with work as that is where laboring and shearing were to be found. The Dagos' shop is where I could get a feed and the most amount of socializing, taking into account that Lake Carigelligo was a small Bush town.<br />
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On this particular occasion, I was sat in the Dagos' shop with a good-size T-bone steak sat in front of me. A couple of eggs and extra chips turned the meal into a good Bush feed.<br />
<br />
Jimmy Xmas's latest addition to his staff was a Dago called Sammy, who had been working there for a couple of months. Sammy was not your everyday, garden variety Dago, who spoke with a thick greek accent. He had been educated in the Aussie school system since he was 7 years old. He was 25 now. He had the standard black hair and permanent 5 O'clock shadow. His wife was 22. She was quite short with dyed blonde hair which looked really strange, owing to her black eyebrows, plus the fact that she was 7 months pregnant. The icing on the cake was a 3 year old son who could be described, in no other way than a spoiled, tantrum-throwing brat!<br />
<br />
"G'day Yorky.", he said as he sat himself down at my booth. "How are ya mate?"<br />
"Not too bad Sammy. How are you?"<br />
"How's the feed?"<br />
"Pretty good mate."<br />
"Good. I cooked it 'specially for you."<br />
"Well, good on you Sammy. I appreciate that mate."<br />
"Hey Yorky, are you into hunting mate?"<br />
"It depends what you're going after sport."<br />
"Goats, mate. A cocky mate of mine, who comes in the cafe a lot, wants to clear out a herd of wild goats from his property."<br />
"What are ya gonna' shoot 'em with?"<br />
"I got a 308 and a 30.30 Winchester. They'll be big enough, for sure."<br />
"Sounds good to me Sammy. I've only got a Pea rifle and that's nowhere big enough for wild goats. So when do ya wanna' go?"<br />
"What about tomorrow morning, early? We could be at the cockys' place at sun up. That's a good time to catch 'em."<br />
"How far out a' town is the property?"<br />
"About 30 miles out on the Rankin Springs road."<br />
"Sounds good to me mate. Ya got plenty of Ammo?"<br />
"Yeah, but I'll pick up a couple more boxes from Ray Orrs' place later this arvo."<br />
"What time d'ya wanna' pick me up?"<br />
"How's 5 O'clock sound?"<br />
"Sounds good to me mate. I'll be outside Gilltraps at 5." I've always wanted a goat skin for the floor at the side of mi bed when the cold weather's on."<br />
"Those wild goats fuckin' stink mate and how ya gonna' skin it?"<br />
"Bring one of ya butchers knives with ya from the kitchen. That ought to do it."<br />
"Ya know how to skin a goat Yorky?"<br />
"Course I fuckin' do. I can skin anything mate, Roos, rabbits, sheep, Dagos!"<br />
"Hey, Hey, careful with the Dago jokes mate. I'm an Aussie citizen, are you?"<br />
"Not yet mate. I'm still a pommy bastard and to be precise, I'm a pommy fuckin' bastard, according to Bush law!"<br />
<br />
Just then, the cafe door opened and a pretty, good-looking sort walked up to the counter.<br />
"Jesus.", said Sammy, as he got up from the table, in such a hurry, that he knocked over the dregs of mi cuppachino. "Sorry about that Yorky mate. I'll get ya another in a minute."<br />
<br />
Although Sammy was an Aussie citizen, he still had the greasy ways of a Dago which was on full display now, as he slid behind the counter, wearing his best Dago smile.<br />
"Nancy, how are ya love? What can I git for ya today?"<br />
"Give us a pack of Styvesants and a box of Redheads."<br />
"No worries love. How's the nursing job going?"<br />
"Pretty good."<br />
"Ya still like nursing eh?", said Sammy.<br />
"I love the nursing part but the hours can be a bit of a drag at times."<br />
After a bit more bullshittin' conversation from Sammys' pie-hole, she gave him a decent smile and made her exit.<br />
<br />
"Who's that?", I asked Sammy as he brought me over another cuppachino.<br />
"Nurse Nancy.", he said as he sat down and lit up a Pall Mall.<br />
"Where d'ya know her from mate?"<br />
"She come in here a lot for smokes and milkshakes. Pretty good-looking Sheila, eh mate?"<br />
<br />
Nurse Nancy was quite pretty. She had a decent size rack, slim waist, good-lookin' legs and a well-rounded arse that was not too big. I had no problem agreeing with Sammy about her looks. She was, indeed, a good-looking Sheila.<br />
<br />
After I had finished mi feed, I took off back, up the street, to Gilltraps. As I got closer to Traps, I saw Freddy, who was sat on the steps, finishing off a middy.<br />
"How are ya Yorky mate?"<br />
"Not bad Freddy, how are you?"<br />
"Bored fucking shitless sport. There's fuck all to do in the Lake when ya not workin'."<br />
"Ya not wrong there Freddy. Come and have a beer with me mate. I hate drinkin' on mi own."<br />
"I just had a big feed mate. Where's War Dog? He's always up for a beer."<br />
"Oh he's up at Keith Charmers' place fuckin' around with an old Brigs and Stratten motor that he's doin' up for sale. Come on mate, just one round."<br />
<br />
Once we were seated at the bar and our middys' had been pulled, Freddy cheered up a bit. I told him about going goat shooting with Sammy, the Dago.<br />
"Ya wanna' come with us mate? I'm sure Sammy won't mind. More the merrier when it comes to clearing out wild goats!"<br />
"No, fuck that for a game of tin soldiers Yorky. I'm not really keen on hunting. Besides that, I'm a lousy fuckin' shot."<br />
"Alright, just thought I'd ask ya. Hey Freddy, When I was at the Dagos' shop, this really good-lookin' sheila came in for some smokes. Ya should have seen her mate. She's the best lookin' sheila I've seen in the Lake for a while!"<br />
"Did ya talk to her?<br />
"No mate, I never got the chance but I'm gonna' keep an eye out for her. Ya never know."<br />
"Does she work?"<br />
"Sammy told me she's a nurse up at the hospital."<br />
"Jesus Yorky, that sounds good mate. They tell me that those nurses are real go-ers."<br />
"Yeah, I heard the same thing miself Freddy. I think I might be spendin' a bit more time at the Dagos' shop. Sammy says she comes in regular."<br />
<br />
The next morning, I was sat on Gilltraps steps waiting for Sammy the Dago, who was now 15 minutes late. I was just about to say 'fuck it' and go back to bed when I saw his station wagon cruising up the main street. Double parking in the empty street, he pushed open the passenger side door and said,<br />
"Git in mate, we're late."<br />
"What d'ya mean 'we' ya Dago bastard? Don't ya mean 'you'?"<br />
"Yeah, yeah, me mate."<br />
"What happened?"<br />
"Ah, I've been up most of the night with the kid. He's got something wrong with him. He was crying all bloody night!"<br />
"We don't have to go if ya don't wanna'?"<br />
"Fuck that!", he said as he shoved the stick into first gear. "This married life is driving me fucking nuts. If it's not the kid, it's the misuss."<br />
"Yeah mate, and it's about to git worse. She's due to drop another one any day by the looks of her."<br />
"Nah, she's got another 8 weeks to go so I've still got a bit of fucking-around time left up mi sleeve!"<br />
"Fuckin' around doin' what? Drinkin' and partying?"<br />
"Drinking, partying and rootin' Yorky mate!"<br />
"How's ya missus handle the rootin' at 7 months?"<br />
"I'm not rootin' the missus mate. I've been rooting that nurse ya saw in the shop yesterday. "<br />
"Ya mean Nancy?"<br />
"Yeah mate, right first time."<br />
"Bullshit sport, no offense but I can't see any sheila in Lake Cargelligo rootin' a Dago."<br />
"Well, she's not rooting a Pommy bastard is she mate?"<br />
"Ya know what Sammy, you're such a bullshittin' Dago bastard. There's no fuckin' way you're rootin' her!"<br />
"Please yourself whether you believe me or not mate but I rooted her, in the back of this station wagon, last night out at the Common."<br />
"Alright Sammy, I'm not gonna' argue with you. Did you remember the rifles and ammo?"<br />
"Course I did mate. I'm not a fucking Pommy, ya know."<br />
<br />
I decided not to bat that ball back. I was more interested in thinking about this new information I'd just got from Sammy. We drove the rest of the way to the cockys' place in silence, which suited me fine. 'How could she root a greazy, fucking Dago of all people'? And here's me thinkin' she's a great sheila'!<br />
<br />
"Grab the gate mate.", said Sammy as we drove up to the cockys' boundary fence.<br />
"No worries sport.", I said as I hopped out and swung the big, old steel gate wide open.<br />
<br />
Once we had driven as far as we could in the rough, rocky paddock the decision was made to walk the rest of the way. I had decided not to pursue any more conversation about Nurse Nancy as it would only cause tension which would lead to a strained relationship between miself and Sammy, who was now beginning to look more like a greasy dago than a naturalized Aussie. I even imagined his speech had changed and the distinctive Dago accent had grown much stronger.<br />
<br />
"There's a mob.", I said as we climbed to the top of a rocky hill. Very slowly, we made our way, as close as possible, to the mob so as not to scare them off.<br />
"Take a shot at that big Billy.", I said to Sammy, who had a good size scope on the new 308 he was carrying.<br />
"Let's git a bit closer mate, then I can get a good head shot."<br />
"If ya try to get any closer, you'll scare 'em off. That big old Billy can already sense something's up.", I said. "Take the shot now mate!"<br />
<br />
Sammy lined up the shot against a thin bush tree. A couple of seconds later, 'BOOM"! The 308 spat out a high-grained bullet which missed the Billy completely and snapped off a tree limb just about his head.<br />
"Jesus Sammy, ya fuckin' missed him mate. How the fuck could ya miss the bastard from this distance?"<br />
"It's the new scope mate! I haven't got it sighted in right."<br />
"So why didn't ya go out the Common somewhere, to set up the scope?"<br />
"I never had time mate. I've been to busy in the cafe."<br />
<br />
The mob of goats had now taken off around the hill and disappeared from sight. Surprisingly, the goats did not take off at a fast pace as they were not 'gun-shy', which meant they had not been shot at before. After about 10 minutes or so, we came across another mob of about 10 Nannys' and a Billy. Once we were close enough, I let rip with Sammys' 30-30. BOOM! The 30-30 echoed, slightly, around the hillside as Sammy said,<br />
"Ya missed, ya pommy bastard!"<br />
"Bullshit! I got him in the heart area."<br />
Seconds later, the Big old Billy took a few steps and then fell over on his side.<br />
"Missed him did I mate? I told ya I got him."<br />
"Why didn't ya go for a head shot?"<br />
"I didn't have a clear enough shot and besides, I'm using open sights."<br />
<br />
The Nannys had taken off further around the hill. The old Billy was still kicking his last as I put 2 more bullets in his head.<br />
"They're really tough bastards, these old Billys.", said Sammy, who pushed the goat around with his foot."<br />
"Yeah. Look at the balls on him Sammy. I'll bet ya wish you had a pair like that?"<br />
"I'd be on the losing end if I did mate. Mine are already bigger than that!"<br />
"Jesus Sammy, you're such a fuckin' bullshit artist!"<br />
"It's true mate. That's why all the Aussie sheilas like me."<br />
"They like ya till they find out ya full- a'-shit Sammy, then they dump ya mate!"<br />
<br />
Undercurrents of anger were starting to creep into my voice, so I said,<br />
"Let's leave this old bastard here and come back for him after we've cleared out a few more for the cocky."<br />
<br />
After we'd shot a few more ferals, we decided to go back to where I'd shot the old Bully.<br />
"So ya really gonna' skin him?", said Sammy, as he handed me the butchers knife.<br />
"Sure am mate. I'll have it tanned. It'll make a good bedside rug."<br />
"Jesus, they fuckin' stink like hell!", said Sammy, as he backed away from the goat who's skin was just about off.<br />
"They stink Sammy because they roll over on their back and piss all over themselves."<br />
"Bullshit!", said Sammy with a disgusted look on his face. "Why would they do that?"<br />
"Because it makes them more attractive to the females. You should try it Sammy. You'll have all the Mission ginns chasing ya around town mate!"<br />
"Fuck you ya pommy bastard. I rely on my good looks to get the sheilas chasin' me mate."<br />
"I don't see too many sheilas chasing ya around sport. I think it's all in ya mind mate.", I said.<br />
"Nurse Nancy wasn't mate. She was in the back of mi station wagon. Ask her if ya don't believe me."<br />
"I fuckin' will do, next time I see her."<br />
<br />
The sun was starting to warm up the early morning and the goat skin was really starting to stink now.<br />
"Ya not putting that stinking, fucking goat skin in mi new station wagon?", said Sammy, as we neared where we'd parked it.<br />
"I'm not fuckin' leaving it out here after all I went through skinnin' the bastard! Haven't ya got a plastic bag in the back of ya car?"<br />
"Yeah, but its got cafe supplies in it."<br />
"Just put 'em in the back somewhere. You're gonna' take 'em into the cafe anyway."<br />
<br />
Sammy was not too keen on having the skin in his new car. Had he not rooted my potential new girlfriend, I wouldn't have blamed him. Halfway back to town, the stink of the goat skin was starting to fill up the station wagon.<br />
"Are ya sure ya tied up that plastic bag properly mate? I'll never get that stink out of mi car. Mi missus will go fucking nuts when she has to drive it somewhere."<br />
"Ah, don't worry about it Sammy. Just tell her ya dropped one of the garlic farts you're famous for!"<br />
"Fuck you mate! I'll have to tell her I had a pommy bastard in the car. Everybody knows you pommys only take a shower once a week."<br />
<br />
Once we'd pulled up, out the back of the Dago shop, I asked Sammy if I could salt down the skin and nail it to one of the old wooden storage sheds.<br />
"No fucking way mate! That thing stinks so fucking bad, it'll drive all mi customers away and Jimmy Xmas will hit the fucking roof."<br />
<br />
There was now no other option left but to chuck the skin away. If I tried to stake it out at the back of Gilltraps, Cath Gilltap would have chased me off the premises. Back in mi room at Traps, I got out of mi old clothes and tied them up firmly in mi plastic dirty clothes bag. The room was already starting to smell like stale goat piss! It took me twice as long to shower as the goat piss smell seemed to have permeated the pores of mi pommy skin.<br />
<br />
Laid on mi bed with fresh clean clothes on, I rolled a smoke and started to think about Nurse Nancy and what my next course of action would be.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4725535300199715328.post-80607523069917770942018-01-01T14:10:00.001-08:002018-04-17T07:19:23.674-07:00MAKIN' A PISTOL AND GOIN' EMU SHOOTING © One Saturday morning, I rode out to Skippys' place for somethin' to do. Kevin was workin' on a piece of machinery when I arrived. As I pulled up in his yard, skidding the back wheel side-ways, he gave me his usual greeting,<br />
"G'day Yorky, ya bastard! How ya goin' mate?"<br />
"G'day Skippy. What ya up to?"<br />
"Just fixin' up this bastard water pump mate. What you doin' out here?"<br />
"Not much. I just rode out to see ya for somethin' to do."<br />
<br />
I noticed an old single-shot 22 rifle lying on a work bench over in the corner.<br />
"Who does that dusty 22 lying on the bench?"<br />
"Fucked if I know. I think someone left it here, years ago."<br />
"Can I have it?"<br />
"What the hell would ya want that old thing for?<br />
"I can make a pistol out of it. That way, I can carry it on mi bike and shoot one-handed."<br />
"You'll end up shootin' ya bloody foot off mate!"<br />
"No, I won't Skippy. Can I have it or not?"<br />
"Yeh, I suppose so, but if ya blow a hole in ya foot it's not my fault, alright?"<br />
"Good on ya mate. Can I borrow ya pipe-cutters?"<br />
"Jesus Christ.", he said with a smile. "I suppose you'll be wantin' a box of 22s' to go with it?"<br />
"No thanks mate but a saw would come in real handy."<br />
"Have a look under that work-bench. All the tools are there."<br />
<br />
Once I had the right tools, I took the stock off the old 22. I sawed off the stock just in front of the screw-hole that fastened the stock to the barrel. With a piece of sandpaper, I shaped the wood till it looked like an old flintlock pistols' butt. When this was done, I put the rifle barrel into the vice and marked it at 8 inches. Then I took the pipe-cutter and carefully twisted it around the steel barrel, tightening it as I went. When the barrel was cut all the way through, I took a file and knocked off the bit of burr around the bore. After screwing the stock back into place, the pistol was complete. It was not the fanciest pistol that was ever made but it would ride in mi belt, no problem at all.<br />
<br />
Once it was finished, I said to Skippy,<br />
"How d'ya like it mate?"<br />
"Streuth! That's not bad Yorky. Don't let Sarg Montgomery catch ya with it or you'll be behind bars with those local abbos! There's a box of bullets in the glove box of that ute. Go grab 'em and we'll try it out."<br />
The pistol was a bolt-action single shot. I set up a couple of tin cans, 30 feet away and Kevin loaded the pistol.<br />
"Look out Yorky!", he said and let fly with the pistol.<br />
CRACK! He missed the can by 10 feet.<br />
"Bring the can closer Yorky 'cause it's not too accurate at that distance."<br />
We messed around with the pistol for about half an hour before we found the most accurate range which was about 15 feet.<br />
"Jesus! 15 feet's not much. If ya git that close to a roo, you'll be able to hit it on the head with the gun butt! You'll probably git more roos that way!"<br />
<br />
After lunch, I left Skippys' place and rode back into the Lake. Gary Breaneys' house was on the left-hand side, so I swung into his driveway. He was on the back veranda when I pulled in, sat in a sun chair. His mother had just brought him out a cold drink.<br />
"G'day Yorky.", he said. "How're ya goin' mate?"<br />
"Not bad Gary. What ya' doin'?"<br />
"Not too much mate. The Lake's a dead place on Saturday afternoons."<br />
<br />
"D'ya want a cold drink Richard?, Garys' mother said to me.<br />
"If ya don't mind, Mrs' Breaney."<br />
She poured me a drink from the large jug that was packed with ice-cubes. Then she disappeared back inside the house.<br />
<br />
"Are ya up for a bit a fun?", I asked him.<br />
"Doin' what? There's bugger-all to do on Saturdays except play Aussie rules and it's too warm for that today."<br />
"Let's go for a ride on the bike."<br />
"Where to?"<br />
"Just along the Condo road. We can try out mi new gun!"<br />
"What gun? I don't see no rifle."<br />
"It's under mi shirt."<br />
"What d'ya mean?", he said, looking somewhat confused.<br />
"It's here!", I said as I lifted the front of mi shirt.<br />
When he saw the pistol butt, it brought him back to life!<br />
"Where did ya git that from Yorky?"<br />
"I just made it."<br />
"Give us a look at it."<br />
"Not here mate. If ya mother sees it, she won't be too happy about it."<br />
"Alright mate, let's go!"<br />
"Back soon!", he called out to his mother as I started the bike.<br />
"Jump on mate. We're out-a here!"<br />
<br />
Out of his driveway and left up the main street we rode. Off the bitumen and onto the main Condo dirt road, we flew in a cloud of red dust.<br />
"There's a cockys' paddock up ahead.", screamed Gary, over my shoulder. "I know him. He won't mind us goin' in for a shot."<br />
Once the large steel gate was opened and closed, I gave Gary the pistol.<br />
"Shit Yorky! This is a real beauty. Ya did a pretty good job of cuttin' it down. Ya got any bullets?"<br />
"Yeah, here. I bought a box off Skippy this morning?"<br />
<br />
The Cockys' paddock was not too densely covered with mali. We would have to be careful 'cause there were lots' of dead trees, low hanging branches and sharp pointy stumps.<br />
"Alright mate.", I said. "Load her up but don't cock it till we see something. Pull the pin back and hold the gun up in the air. That way, we won't have an accident."<br />
I put mi Honda into first gear and we pulled away slowly from the gate.<br />
"There should be a few roos out in the middle where those shade trees are!", I called to him. "We'll head out that way!"<br />
<br />
The paddock was rougher than it looked so I had to be careful not to get a stick caught in the spokes or puncture a tire. We's been riding around for about 45 minutes when Gary called out,<br />
"There's a mob of Emus' over near the fence."<br />
"I can see 'em.", I said. "We'll ride across the paddock and down the fence. That way they'll run down parallel with it. If we chase 'em from here, they'll stick their heads down and crash through the fence."<br />
"Let's go!", said Gary. "They've heard us talking."<br />
<br />
Once we got level with the fence again, I called out to him,<br />
"Hang on tight mate! Here we go!!"<br />
<br />
I revved the Honda 90 through the gears into third. The speedo was touching 40 now. 'CLUNK', down into fourth it went and I opened the throttle full up. The fenceposts were whizzing past now as we rode like hell along the one-lane bush track. There were some large sharp rocks sticking out in places so I had to keep a good eye out. The Emus were now going flat out down the fence line as I expected. They were running, one after each other. Their massive strong legs pounded the dirt track as their huge scaly feet kicked up small stones behind them.<br />
"We're gaining on 'em!", screamed Gary over my shoulder.<br />
<br />
"Put your right arm over my shoulder mate.", I yelled, with mi head half-turned. "Keep the pistol well in front of me 'cause I don't want deafening!"<br />
The old Honda was now flat as a strap and the needle was bouncing between 50 and 55.<br />
"Don't shoot till I tell ya mate! Wait till they're off to the side!"<br />
We were now only 50 feet behind them and gaining on them fast!<br />
"All right mate.", I yelled, "Let 'em have it!"<br />
'BOOM!!!', Gary let fly with the pistol. A flame about 12 inches long, shot out of the barrel.<br />
'BOOM!!!', He'd reloaded from the bullets he was carrying in his mouth. The Emus pulled out all stops now.<br />
A few seconds later and we were right up the arse of a big, cranky Emu.<br />
"Not yet mate!", I yelled. "He's too close! If he falls over, we'll go right over the top of him!"<br />
<br />
'BOOM!!!', Gary didn't listen to me. He hit the grizzly old Emu with the next shot. The Emu fell arse over head in front of us. There was no time to vere off so I slammed on the brakes in a cloud of dust. The next thing I knew, we were both flying over the handlebars!<br />
<br />
"OHHH SHIT!!!!, I roared as we landed on top of the pissed-off Emu! All I remember was feathers and dust as we tried to scramble away from the Emu. One good kick from him and we would have been dead! The Emu had somewhat regained his feet. His head and neck were through the fence as he kicked like hell to get his huge, strong body on the other side.<br />
Mi good bike was over on its' side and the motor was revving like hell. Gary was trying to regain his feet as I saw the Emus' legs kicking towards mi bike now!<br />
"Get the bike out the way!", I screamed. "Or he'll kick the shit out of it!"<br />
We scrambled over to the bike and pulled it out of range of his massive kicks, before he smashed it to pieces.<br />
"Where's the pistol?", I yelled, as I limped back out of range miself.<br />
"I dunno. It flew out of mi hand when we hit him."<br />
"He's getting away!", I said, as the big, old Emu scrambled through the fence.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4725535300199715328.post-5442805635161891742018-01-01T12:54:00.000-08:002018-03-13T17:05:17.601-07:00HARD WORK TRACTOR DRIVIN' © The day after I quite Jimmy Xmas' Cafe, I went tractor driving for a cocky, Roger Thom. He was a tall, droll sort of bloke who had his own place a few miles out of the lake. Roger was as blind as a bat without his glasses. He was a real good Aussie Rules player. Every time he picked up the ball, the opposition, or the opposition supporters would yell,<br />
"His fuckin' specs are off! That'll slow him down a bit!"<br />
<br />
Many's the time Roger had to go looking all over the field for his specs, even though he'd got them tied on with a piece of elastic.<br />
<br />
I stayed out at Rogers' property so there was no problem as regards sleeping arrangements 'cause he had a small hut, not far from the main house.<br />
<br />
Sowing wheat was quite a hard job. A flat-top truck was loaded up with seed wheat and super phosphate. It was usually parked in one of the corners of the paddock. On most occasions, a couple of 44 gallon drums of distillate were also carried on the flatbed. The combine that was being pulled had 4 long boxes on the back. These boxes had to be loaded up with seed wheat at the front and superphosphate at the back.<br />
<br />
My job was to drive round and round the paddock until the boxes were almost empty. Then I'd have to get off the tractor and refill them. The job of refilling was not as easy as it sounds for a young bloke, just over 16 and weighing 120 pounds. The wheat bags could weigh between 160 and 180 pounds. I had to take them on mi back, off of the flatbed and walk a few yards to where the back of the combine stood. The superphosphate bags could be sorta' humped up onto the box but sometimes I'd have to walk up the back step to get the wheat bag in place. Once the boxes were full, I'd start makin' a round until they needed filling again.<br />
<br />
Usually, a cocky would divide his paddock up into 500 acre blocks. I enjoyed drivin' around on the tractor all day 'cause I was completely alone. Most times, I'd drive 24 hour shifts before I got off the tractor, then I'd have a feed at Rogers' place, take around 5 or 6 hours sleep, then drive back up the paddock to take over from Roger.<br />
<br />
Tractor driving was good money for me, in those days. Most cockys were paying 80 cents an hour, so in a 24-hour shift, I could clock up almost $20. Twenty dollars every 24 hours was a huge raise for me, in comparison to Showground wages.<br />
<br />
Although night-times could be really cold, I enjoyed them the best of all. I would stuff sheets of newspaper inside mi King Gee overalls to keep the cold out. An ex-army balaclava kept mi earlobes from snappin' off. Sometimes it was pitch-dark, except for the 2 small tractor headlights.<br />
<br />
The only part I didn't enjoy, although it was exciting, was when I'd have to walk across the paddock in the dark, on mi own, to get the flat-top truck which had to be driven up the headland.<br />
Most times, I was miles from anywhere and all alone. Some times mi mind used to try and play tricks on me. The Mali trees would appear to move and a large mali stump would turn into a big monster. I used to check behind me, every minute or so, for the mad, chain-saw killer that I knew was sneakin' up on me, but he was always to fast! As soon as I spun around, he would disappear back into the darkness and I would run like hell, towards the tractor. Once in the seat, I would jam mi foot on the clutch, stick it into second gear and pull the throttle-stick back to 1600 revs. Away I would go on another couple of rounds before repeating the whole process again, monsters and all.<br />
<br />
I was really pleased to see the daylight as it slowly appeared. It always made the Mali trees appear like large skeletons just before the rim of the large, flaming sun greeted me. An hour before sunrise was always the coldest part of the morning, not to mention the wet dew which would dry out as the glorious sun rose.<br />
Sometimes the red dust almost choked me as I drove around those paddocks. At times, when I spat, a large, dirty red pile of mucus would fly out.<br />
Tractors, in those days, rarely had a cab over the seat. The eyes, nose and ears would get chock-a-block full of the red dust.<br />
<br />
One evening, as I was driving around, there came a point when I felt really tired. My eyes started to droop so I shook mi head a few time. This little trick worked for a while but soon the eyes drooped again. The loud roar of the tractors' exhaust pipe, along with the diesel fumes didn't help matters either. Then, I'd try singin' out loud at the top of mi voice. This soon gave way to the droopy eye syndrome again. The next trick I tried was somewhat more drastic. I'd slap mi face and yell,<br />
"Wake up ya lazy pommy bastard wake up!" After that failed, I woke up with a hell a of fright, hundreds of yards off the line, heading towards the thick Mali trees.<br />
<br />
"Bastard! Shit! Fuck!", I'd scream, in anger, as I turned the tractor and combine around to trace mi way beack to where I'd gone off the line.<br />
<br />
One morning, Roger noticed a long plough-line that ran acaross the paddock, at a strange angle. The end of the line looped around and headed back towards the sown-down land.<br />
"Hey Yorky.", he said in a droll voice.<br />
"What d'ya want Roger?", I said, over the sound of the exhaust.<br />
"Did ya' go on a bit of a mystery tour last night?"<br />
<br />
I never had to say anything 'cause mi sleep ride was sown into the land for anyone to see.<br />
"I've done that miself.", he said "But be careful mate, don't ruin mi good tractor up a tree."<br />
"Don't worry.", I said. "It won't happen again. Next time, I'll stop for an hour or so sleep."<br />
"Good on ya Yorky. I'm not complaining. I don't know how ya do it mate. 5 or 6 hours on that fuckin', bone-jarrin' tractor and I'm ready for a good sleep!"<br />
<br />
Once all of Rogers' crop was sown down, I'd worked miself out of another job.<br />
<br />
Back to Lake Cargelligo I went. This time, I had to find a place to live so I went over to Twitcheys' Hotel to enquire how much a room would cost. Twitcheys' wife, Annette, was a tall, good-lookin' Mediterranean type. She was always well-dressed. To my knowledge, she never messed around on old Twitchey.<br />
Annette rented me a basic, dry and clean room for a very nominal price. I booked in on a residential basis which also made it cheaper. I was now in a position to hang around the bars. It wasn't that I liked hangin' around drunks but if I wanted to find casual work, all business was conducted from a bar stool in any one of the Lakes' three hotels.<br />
<br />
I had a few bucks tucked away now from all the long hours of tractor drivin', plus I'd finished up the payments on mi Honda 90, so I was well in front.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4725535300199715328.post-28721944021055741572018-01-01T11:49:00.004-08:002018-03-13T16:47:56.720-07:00CIRCUS & THE MAGGOT BOXES © JIMMY XMAS CAFE STORY I was sat at at the staff table which was situated at the back of the cafe, next to the serving hatch. Mindlessly sipping away on a hot cuppachino and puffin' away at a Pall Mall fag, I happened to look up towards the glass front door. Part of mi job, even when I was on a break, was to keep an eye on the door for customers, so as not to keep them waiting.<br />
<br />
The Dagos' glass shop door was a standard size and nothing special. Under normal circumstances, when a customer came in, there was plenty of light on each side of his body, as he entered the cafe. Tonight, however, was not of normal circumstances. The Circus had come to town! When he stood in the doorway, he blocked out all of the available light. Circus was a massive bloke who weighed, to my reckoning, 25 stone at least, which was roughly 350 pounds! One could not say he 'walked into the cafe', it was more like a 'side to side waddle'. Next to enter was his mother, who made her grand entrance sideways, owing to the fact that she was at least a hundred pounds heavier than Circus. Last to enter was Circuses 15 year old sister who was, bare minimum, 230 pounds.<br />
<br />
It was a sight to behold as I watched all three waddle down the room towards the back of the cafe, where I was sitting. As he got closer to me he said,<br />
"Ya mind if I make room by shifting the tables?"<br />
"No worries Circus. Help ya self mate."<br />
He asked me out of politeness, which was good, because if I did mind, what was I going to say, 'fuck you'? At the time, I weighed 10 stone (140 pounds) wet through and fully clothed. Circus moved three tables wide apart, away from the rest of the tables. He left a chair each at two of the tables and at the third table he dragged over a long bench seat which was obviously for his mother. After his sister was seated, he fussed around his mother making sure she was as comfortable as possible.<br />
<br />
As soon as I saw that he had seated himself with as little fuss as possible, I walked over to his table with a menu and a waiters' smile.<br />
"Circus, how the fuck are ya mate? Ya need a menu?"<br />
"No thanks Yorky, I'm just gonna' jave a couple of meat pies. Mi mother and sister will have a couple apiece as well. How long have ya been back from the Showground mate?"<br />
"Couple a' days Circus. I got a temporary job here 'cause I'm broke."<br />
"Well I'm happy to see ya back safe and sound mate. I was a bit worried about ya on those Showgrounds. They're not the safest of places."<br />
"Thank you Circus, I was a bit worried about miself at times."<br />
<br />
Circus, as I said, was a huge bloke with a massive gut. He didn't really have a neck, so to speak. He looked like his head had been stuck on his body as an after-thought. He wore the standard Chesty Bond Singlet XXXX, large stubby shorts, boots and socks. His chest and upper arms stretched the singlet to breaking point and the calves of his legs were almost as big as my body. His eyes wouldn't open the whole way due to the size of his cheeks and his ears were flat against the sides of his head. All in all, he was not a very handsome bloke.<br />
<br />
In those early days, I had a problem with fat, ugly people especially the ones who were kind-hearted and liked me. 'How is it possible for them to be so fat and fuckin' ugly, yet at the same time be so sweet?' It wasn't until I had met enough thin, handsome, mean-spirited mongrel-bred bastards that the books balanced themselves and I moved beyond the illusion of the body.<br />
<br />
"6 hot meat pies Jimmy!", I said as I walked into the kitchen.<br />
"Not-a the problem mate. Is for one man?"<br />
"Nah mate, it's for Circus and his family."<br />
"That-a greedy, the fat bastard. He must-a like-a my pies 'cause he brings the family to eat at my cafe."<br />
"He's a big bloke Jimmy Xmas. It takes a lot to fill him up."<br />
"He's-a greedy, the fucking pig. One-a day he order 6-a the pies and he eat-a the fucking lot in six-a mouthfulls."<br />
"Maybe he was extra hungry mate. He might have been workin' hard. He's a good worker ya know."<br />
"He not-a work in the Iron-a Lung! Now me, Jimmy the Xmas, I am-a the good worker. I start-a the 5:30 morning, I finish-a the 12 O'clock-a. 18 the hours a day. That's-a work mate!"<br />
<br />
"Here ya go Circus.", I said as I put the meat pies in front of him and his family. Before I'd finished serving his mum and sister, Circus was starting his second pie.<br />
"How ya doin' with pies Circus. Are they alright?"<br />
"Too bloody right Yorky mate. These are the best meat pies this side a' the Black Stump!"<br />
"Would ya like a couple more mate?"<br />
"Yeah, keep 'em comin' wil ya?"<br />
"No worries Circus, 2 meat pies comin' up!"<br />
"Two more meat pies Jimmy."<br />
"Don't-a tell me. The same-a fat fuck?"<br />
"Yeah, Circus mate. He said he's hungry."<br />
"I put-a 4 more in the oven, just in case."<br />
"Two more meat pies Circus. Anything else mate?:<br />
"Yeah, give us a large Spider to wash 'em down with."<br />
A large 'Spider' was a metal milkshake container consisting of Coca Cola and 2 scoops of ice cream.<br />
"There ya go mate. That do ya for now?"<br />
"Better bring me 2 more pies Yorky. Save ya gettin' up and down mate."<br />
"2 more pies Jimmy."<br />
"That-a make-a the six! How many more the fat bastard eat?"<br />
Jimmy Xmas took 2 more ies out of the oven and said to me,<br />
"I serve-a the fat bastard myself this-a time. I like-a to see where my good-a meat pies go."<br />
Plonking 2 more meat pies in front of Circus, Jimmy said,<br />
"You like-a my pies eh, you fat-a the bastard?"<br />
"Yeah Jimmy.", said Circus, in a mock greek accent. "These-a are the best-a Dago meat pies this side-a the Athens!"<br />
"Very the fucking funny Circus!"<br />
"How many the more you eat-a tonight?"<br />
"How many ya got left mate?"<br />
"I got 2 more hot-a ones in the oven."<br />
"So what ya standing here for Jimmy? Bring 'em out."<br />
"I don't-a believe it! You eat-a 8 meat pies tonight!"<br />
"Why? Is that all ya got left mate?"<br />
"Not-a the bloody likely! I make-a plenty the meat pies before I open. I tell-a ya what I do with you Mr. Circus. You pay me for the six-a meat pies you already eat and every meat-a pies you eat after that I give-a ya for free."<br />
"Are you joking nate?"<br />
"Jimmy the Xmas not-a joke. Jimmy the Xmas, man of the word!"<br />
"You're on Jimmy! Keep 'em coming."<br />
Back in the kitchen, Jimmy Xmas loaded up the oven with a tray of meat pies.<br />
"How many ya think-a the fat Aufstralian bastard he eat?"<br />
"I don't know Jimmy. He's eaten 6 already and he washed 'em down with a Spider.", I said.<br />
"He not-a share the pies with his fat-a mother and sister?"<br />
"No mate, he ate 'em all himself. The first one went down in 2 mouth-fulls!"<br />
"Jesus the Christ-a, I never see such a greedy fucking the pig in all my life. This will make-a the good story to tell my family back in the Greece."<br />
The next 2 hot pies, which made 8, Jimmy Xmas served up to Circus himself, again. He put the pies down in front of Circus, then pulled up a chair, crossed his arms and stared at Circus.<br />
"Can I help ya mate?", said Circus.<br />
"No, I not-a need the help. I sit-a here to make-a sure you eat-a the lot!"<br />
"Don't you worry about me Jimmy. I'll tell ya when I'm full."<br />
As Circus was devouring the 7th meat pie an old, drunk Abbo, dressed in dirty clothes stumbled through the door. He made his way to one of the booths and sat down on the bench seat, leaning his back into the corner. A moment later, he picked up a full hot sauce bottle, screwed off the top and drank it down in one go. Jimmy Xmas, who had been staring at Circus, just happened to look up as the last of the hot sauce left the bottle.<br />
"Hey Hey, you fucking the black bastard! What-a you think-a you do?"<br />
He ran into the kitchen and grabbed the floor mop and then took off to the front of the cafe. The old Abbo, drunk as he was, was doing his best to get out of the booth while Jimmy Xmas was yelling,<br />
"You fucking the black bastard, you get out of my Cafe and don't-a fucking come back! What-a you think-a this is? This-a the Jimmy the Xmas cafe!" This-a not-a the fucking Twitchey Hotel!"<br />
As the abbo got close to the door, Jimmy Xmas opened it and pushed him out onto the pavement with the mop.<br />
"You fuck-a the off and don't-a comne back. You think-a I buy the hot-a sauce for you to drink? Jimmy the Xmas not-a the charity! Jimmy the Xmas is-a the business man!"<br />
When Jimmy Xmas was seated at Circuses table again, Circus, who had a great sense of humor, said to him,<br />
"2 more pies mate and could you bring me some hot sauce? This bottle's nearly empty."<br />
"Very the fucking funny Circus! Ya think-a that's a good-a the joke?"<br />
2 more meat pies were put in front of Circus. Jimmy Xmas' face showed a bit of surprise now as the 10th pie disappeared!<br />
"How many the more you eat-a you fat-a bastard?"<br />
"A couple more for sure.", said Circus, with a mischievous grin.<br />
Circus was now slowing down a bit as he pushed the 14th pie in his face. Once it was gone, he leaned back in his chair and said,<br />
"This is the best little snack I've had for ages mate. Is that it or is there any more?"<br />
A look of horror now showed on Jimmys' face as he jumped out of his chair and said,<br />
"More! You fucking the joking! That's-a the last-a meat pies you get for free! You fat-a the bastard, I'm call-a off the bet. I don't like-a this game anymore! You send-a me fucking broke! You make-a sure you pay for the six-a meat pies, the 4 for your-a mother and sister and a one-a the large Spider!"<br />
As Jimmy Xmas turned around to go back to the kitchen, I heard him say,<br />
"14 the meat pies! I don't-a believe my eyes! I never see the greedy bastard like that-a in-a my life!"<br />
<br />
"Can I get ya anything else Circus?"<br />
"No Yorky mate, I think I'm pretty full now."<br />
"Jesus, that was so funny Circus. Did you Jimmys' face when you asked him for more?"<br />
"I know mate. It was a sight to see. I love fucking with him."<br />
"Don't ya mind him calling ya a fat fucking bastard?"<br />
"Nah mate, what can I say, I am a fat bastard!"<br />
Circus turned to his mother and sister who had sat there the whole time with straight faces and said,<br />
"Ya ready to go home? I'm done eating."<br />
<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4725535300199715328.post-79213396358751075662018-01-01T11:48:00.004-08:002018-07-01T13:48:03.391-07:00GIVING THE SHOP AWAY © JIMMY XMAS STORY..MAGGOTED CHOOKS The Sunday night, before I left, the cafe was really busy. Although I'd given away a lot of free fags and milkshakes to mi mates, still many people came in because I was serving the tables. They would all have a good laugh about my Showground exploits.<br />
<br />
Halfway through that Sunday night, a stranger came in the Cafe for a feed. Lake Cargelligos' Aussie Rules team was playing at home. He probably came with the opposition team.<br />
<br />
"What'll ya have?", I said as I handed him the menu.<br />
As he scanned through it he said,<br />
"I'll have roast chicken and chips with a couple of fried eggs and a plate of toast on the side."<br />
"No worries mate.", I said as I repeated his order back. "It may take a while 'cause we're pretty busy."<br />
"Bring us a cuppachino while I wait."<br />
"Cuppachino comin' up mate."<br />
<br />
The customer was a pretty well-dressed man in his late 40s' or early 50s'. He didn't seem like the rough football type. I'd placed his order with Jimmy Xmas, who used to cook on busy weekend nights.<br />
"Roast-a chicken, chips and couple a eggs, plate-a toast ready!", said Jimmy.<br />
I picked up the meal from the serving window.<br />
"Roast chuck, chips, eggs, side plate of toast.", I said to the customer as I carefully placed his meal in front of him. "Enjoy ya meal.", I said with a smile.<br />
"Another Cuppachino.", he said, as he handed me his cup.<br />
"Coming right up.", I said.<br />
<br />
I made a pretty good waiter. On the weekends, I looked after all the tables on mi own.<br />
"Cuppachino ready.", said George who was Jimmy Xmas' distant cousin. He came from a tiny village up in the greek mountains somewhere. Jimmy Xmas said he used to fuck goats before he came to Australia and had only been out of the mountains for a few months. He warned me jokingly not to bend over in front of him.<br />
George was a small porky greek with greasy straight hair, black eyes, a permanent 5 O'clock shadow and thick puffy lips. I don't think he ever had a shower in the time that I worked there.<br />
<br />
When I got back to the table, the customer had just pulled a wing off the side of the roast Chook.<br />
"One hot Cuppachino", I said as I put it on the table."<br />
"Thanks.", he said and then proceeded to snap the end of the chickens' wing off.<br />
The chicken bone snapped with the usual snapping sound that chicken-bones make but to my surprise, (and to his horror), 5 small, white, dead maggots shot out of the splintered bone and onto the table. One maggot landed in the fresh cuppachino. I watched it slowly sink below the surface of the frothy milk. The customer looked up at me and said,<br />
"What the hell are those things?"<br />
"They look like blow-fly maggots to me."<br />
"What are they doing in my chicken?"<br />
"Not much.", I said. "They're dead!"<br />
"I can see that for myself! I mean, what's the idea serving up fly-blown chicken?"<br />
"I don't know? Maybe it's a new Greek dish. I'll take it back to the chicken and show Jimmy Xmas."<br />
<br />
When I showed Jimmy Xmas, he said,<br />
"What's-a-wrong with it? Couple-a maggots never hurt anyone. Fussy Aussie bastard! Tell him I'm-a-sorry. Take him this-a one."<br />
I took the fresh, roast chicken to the customer who was patiently waiting. He was sat there with a knife in his cuppachino, trying to fish out the maggot that had slowly submerged below the surface.<br />
"Ya fishin' for bait?", I asked.<br />
"I beg ya' pardon."<br />
"Fresh roast chicken, mate."<br />
"Oh.", he said as he leaned against the hard-back bench.<br />
"Jimmy Xmas says he's sorry about that mate."<br />
"Is this one safe to eat?"<br />
"I think so. Why don't ya snap the ends of the wings while I'm here and if it's not, I'll git ya another one."<br />
Very carefully the customer snapped the ends off of each wing tip. Nothing flew out so I said,<br />
"Bingo! I'll git ya another hot cuppachino mate."<br />
He gave me a somewhat worried look and then proceeded to eat his dinner.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4725535300199715328.post-13602351124278450832017-12-27T11:23:00.000-08:002018-03-13T19:18:56.050-07:00DOING MORE WORK FOR IVERS ~ PART 2 © Once we'd finished out at the River, Ivers said to me, on the way home,<br />
"I'm starting a new job tomorrow out Hilston way, if ya still wanna' work Burgoo."<br />
"That's miles away from the Lake. It'll take an hours' travelling each way. Ya gonna' pay me for that?<br />
"No fuckin' way, ya burgoo spittin' bastard. We'll be campin' out in the shed."<br />
"What shed? Is it a fuckin' humpy?"<br />
"No ya pommy bastard. It's the same shed that we're building."<br />
"Then how can we camp in it, if it's not built yet?"<br />
"Half of it's already built, Pongo. All the steel frame work's up and a bit of floorins' in. We've gotta' put the corrugated iron on the roof and the walls and finish the flooring. We've also gotta' weld up some tubular steel catching pens and forcing pens. So, ya still wanna' come?"<br />
"No worries Cecil. I've got nothin' else on."<br />
'You'll need to bring enough gear with ya for about a week or so."<br />
"What are we gonna' do for tucker and grog, mate?"<br />
"I'm providing the tucker and ya supply your own grog. I'm not a Vinnie de Paul fuckin' charity."<br />
"Alright Cecil, keep ya fuckin' hair on mate. I was only askin'. Anyway, Cecil I've been meaning to ask you, why are you always so cranky and ignorant?"<br />
"Fuck you Burgoo! But seein' as ya asked, I'll fuckin' tell ya! Years ago I used to be real easy-goin', but I found out, the hard way, the better I treated mi workers, the more they took advantage of me. They cost me a lot of money! Between that and mi old missus hittin' me up for a ton of money for maintenance, I had to change mi ways. Anyways, what the fuck am I telling you all this for burgoo?"<br />
" I thought it help us get on a bit better Cecil."<br />
"You just keep ya head down ya arse up burgoo and you I will git on fine."<br />
"No worries Cecil, suits me."<br />
"Don't forget Burgoo, It's your first round, as soon as we hit Gilltraps!"<br />
<br />
As we reversed into the street parking outside Traps, Ivers said,<br />
"Keep your eye out for a bloke called Reggie. He's comin' out with us for a few days."<br />
"Who's he and where d'ya know him from?"<br />
"He's a blow-in I met at Twitcheys' the other night. He says he's lookin' for work so I'm givin' him a go."<br />
"No worries Cecil."<br />
"What the fuck are we sittin' here talking for in the hot street when Gilltraps has got cold beer, ten feet away?"<br />
"I don't know Cecil, you're the one doin' the talkin'."<br />
"Fuck you ya' Burgoo spittin bastard.", said Ivers as he opened the Utes' door, got out and slammed it, as he made his way into Traps."<br />
Traps was busy that night so we had to wait a minute or so for our middies. Ivers, being as impatient as he was, yelled out,<br />
"Oye, how about some fuckin' service here. You've got two thirsty customers waitin'."<br />
One of Gilltraps bar stewards came over and said,<br />
"What a' ya have fellas?"<br />
"2 middies.", said Ivers. "and fuckin' hurry up. We're dyin' of thirst!"<br />
"No worries mate. We're a bit busy tonight."<br />
"Ya see that Burgoo. That's how ya git fast service mate. If I'd left it to you, we'd still be fuckin' waitin'.<br />
"Well that's not my way Cecil, what can I tell you."<br />
<br />
The barman sat the 2 middies on the bar and I shouted the first round. Ivers picked up his beer and downed it in one go.<br />
"AH!", he said, "You bloody little beauty! Come on Burgoo, get that middy up ya, it's your round."<br />
"I just bought the first one Ivers."<br />
"Did ya? It must be my turn then? Are you sure you bought the first one Burgoo?", said Ivers, with a slight grin on his face.<br />
"Course I am. You just downed it."<br />
"I'm just checkin' mate. You Pommy bastards are as tight as a fishes arse, and that's water-tight."<br />
"What about you fuckin' Aussies mate? If you had another brain in your head, it would be fuckin' lonely."<br />
"Two more middies.", said Ivers as he pulled out the old leather, sweat-stained wallet.<br />
<br />
This was the kind of relationship I had with Cecil Ivers. I would have preferred it to be of a different nature but Ivers never said he was unhappy with it, so I continued to play my part.<br />
A few beers later, Ivers said,<br />
"I'm off now. I'm havin' an early night. I've got a shit-load of stuff to git ready for tomorrow and I don't want to forget anything 'cause it's a fuckin' long drive back."<br />
As he got up off his stool he said,<br />
"Be at mi place tomorrow morning at 5, Burgoo. Ya can give us a hand to load up the Ute and before ya ask, Yes, I'll give ya' an extra hour and consider ya' self fuckin' lucky, ya burgoo spittin' bastard!"<br />
<br />
The next morning I was at Ivers house, right on time. Ivers was already up and loading the Ute. As I walked into his yard, he said,<br />
"Ya late Burgoo. What ya been doin', floggin' ya fuckin' maggot all morning?"<br />
"Very fuckin' funny Ivers. I see you're in your usual charming mood this morning."<br />
"Throw those fuckin' tools in the back and don't forget any or we'll be in the shit."<br />
"Ya mean, I'll be in the shit."<br />
"Right, first time Burgoo."<br />
<br />
About the time we were finishing loading the Ute, Ivers wife came out into the yard and said to Ivers,<br />
"I've got hot tea and toast for ya, when your done Cec."<br />
"We'll be done in five minutes,", said Ivers, without even lookin up.<br />
After we had finished, Ivers said to me,<br />
"Come on inside Burgoo. Let's have a mug of tea before we take off."<br />
<br />
I noticed Ivers old, weather-board house was quite neat, as I followed him into the kitchen. His missus was pouring the tea and putting some hot toast on the table as we entered.<br />
"This is Burgoo.", said Ivers as we sat down."<br />
"Mi names Yorky Mrs. Ivers. Pleased to meet ya."<br />
"His names Burgoo.", said Ivers, as he shoved a piece of toast in his mouth.<br />
"What did you call him Cec?", said Mrs. Ivers.<br />
"His names Burgoo, 'cause he's a Burgoo spittin' pommy bastard!"<br />
"Behave yourself Cec and show a bit of respect and manners. He's a guest in our house."<br />
"He's a pommy bastard."<br />
"My names Susan. How d'ya like Australia Yorky?"<br />
"I love it Susan. It's a really great place."<br />
"Did ya come out here with ya parents?"<br />
Before I could answer, Ivers said,<br />
"He hasn't got any parents. I told ya, he's a burgoo spittin' pommy bastard!"<br />
"Oh shit up Cec and act your age! Would you like more toast Yorky?"<br />
"Yes please."<br />
"Yes please.", said Ivers in a mock english accent. "Anyone would think that you're well bred Burgoo!"<br />
"Maybe he is Cec. How would you know?"<br />
"None of these pommys they send out here are well bred. They're all a pack a' bastards that we have to put up with."<br />
"How can you stand workin' with him all day, when he's so rude Yorky?"<br />
"Oh, this is nothin' Mrs. Ivers. He's being quite polite this morning."<br />
Ivers looked at me and said,<br />
"You crawling pommy bastard!", and then shoved the last piece of toast in his mouth and swilled it down with the last of his tea.<br />
Getting up out of his chair, he said,<br />
"Come on Burgoo, get a bloody move on. We've got a long drive this morning."<br />
"He hasn't finished yet Cec."<br />
"If he eats anymore I'm gonna' dock it off his pay."<br />
"Don't listen to him Yorky. He's all bark and no bite. He's a big softy really."<br />
"Jesus Sue, don't give the bloody game away or I'll never get any work out of the pommy bastard!"<br />
"Thanks for breakfast Mrs. Ivers.", I said, pushing back my chair.<br />
<br />
Ivers now had one of his usual scowls on his face as he picked up his tucker box. He gave his missus a quick peck on the cheek and said,<br />
"I'll see ya on the weekend Darl."<br />
"Don't forget ya clothes bag.", said Sue, as Ivers headed for the door.<br />
"Yeah, right. Thanks."<br />
"What would you do without me Cec.", she said jokingly.<br />
Ivers just grunted, took the bag from her and made his exit. His missus stood at the door and waved us off as we pulled away from his front yard.<br />
<br />
"Yes please, no thank you Mrs. Ivers!", said Ivers, in a phony pommy accent as he shoved the gear shift into second.<br />
"What's the matter with you this morning Cecil? Did ya miss out last night?"<br />
"Fuck you!", said Ivers as we made our way back to Twitcheys' Hotel, where the new blow-in was supposed to be waiting for us.<br />
Ivers applied the brakes outside Twitcheys as the blow-in walked over to the Ute.<br />
"Jesus christ.", said Ivers. "The bastard fronted up! Hurry up Sport!", yelled Ivers, out of the window. "I haven't got all day to wait for you, ya bastard. Throw ya gear in the back and hop in before we strike a blow."<br />
"G'day.", said the blow-in as he opened the door and slid in. "Mi names Reggie."<br />
"Yorky.", I said, offering him mi hand.<br />
<br />
Without fail, Ivers piped up right on que and said,<br />
"His name's Burgoo. He's a crawlin' pommy bastard.<br />
The blow-in didn't know what to say, so he forced a fake smile onto his face.<br />
Driving off up Lake Cargelligos' main street , Ivers said to Reggie,<br />
"I hope you're as good as ya word Reggie?"<br />
"What d'ya mean?", said Reggie.<br />
"Work! That's what I mean mate, what fuckin' else. I want this fuckin' job finished in record time. I've got a lot of fuckin' bills to pay out this month."<br />
Reggie didn't know what to say, so he said to me,<br />
"Ya want a smoke mate?", as he pulled out a packet of Pall Mall.<br />
"Good on ya Reggie. Don't mind if I do."<br />
A minute later, Ivers said,<br />
"Open that fuckin' window ya bastard. I hate those stinkin' breathing sticks."<br />
"It's open.", said Reggie, in a nervous voice.<br />
"It's only half-open, ya fuckin' dingbat!"<br />
With that, Reggie wound the handle all the way down.<br />
<br />
Reggie was a medium height, skinny sort of bloke with slicked down hair. The front of it was combed over in a small quiff. The length of it was the standard Bush length of those days, short back and sides. Anyone who let their hair grow long was called a 'bloody Yobo." He wore the usual bush clothes, navy blue singlet, shorts and Blunstones, with no socks.<br />
"D'ya bring enough grog with ya mate?", said Ivers to Reggie.<br />
"No mate. I'm broke. I asked the Publican to put a couple of dozen cans on tab for me but he said, "Why would I do that, I don't even know ya'. Ya might shoot through on me. Try me again once you've cashed a couple of checks over the bar."<br />
"That sounds like Twitchy.", said Ivers. "He's been shafted one too many times."<br />
Reggie made the mistake of asking Ivers if he'd brought any spare tinnies with him.<br />
"You've gotta' be fuckin' jokin' mate. I'm a fuckin' building contractor, not a fuckin' nurse-maid! Even Burgoo knows to bring his own grog when we're campin' out and he's a fuckin' pommy!"<br />
<br />
Just then, Ivers lifted the side of his arse and let go one of of the loudest and longest farts I've ever heard. The expression on his face didn't change one little bit as he said to me,<br />
"Hey burgoo, do farts have lumps in 'em?"<br />
"Not too my knowledge Cecil."<br />
"Then I think I might have shit miself. It's probably that beef stew the missus made last night."<br />
"Oh Jesus! Reggie! Open the fuckin' window mate."<br />
"It's already open mate. It won't open any more."<br />
"Ivers, stop the fuckin' Ute mate. That's really fuckin' disgusting! You smell worse than a roo dog that's been eatin' rotten kangaroo meat!"<br />
Ivers never even took his eyes off the road as he said,<br />
"Fuck you Burgoo. Ya think your shit doesn't stink? That's what I mean about you pommy bastards. You're all up ya selves!"<br />
As I pulled mi singlet out of mi work pants and covered mi nose with the end of it, I said to Ivers in a muffled voice,<br />
"You need a fuckin' pull-through Ivers, with a length of barbwire."<br />
Ivers, who was, by now, quite predictable said,<br />
"Fuck you Burgoo!"<br />
<br />
By this time, I knew Ivers habitual responses so to tease him a bit more, I said to him,<br />
"Hey Cecil, your missus seems like a lovely, well-mannered lady. How does she put up with you? She must be a saint!"<br />
This little joke pushed one of Ivers' buttons and he said,<br />
"Shut the fuck up Burgoo or I'll stop this fuckin' Ute and knock ya arse over head, ya pommy bastard."<br />
"All right Cecil, no worries mate. Just havin' a bit a' fun."<br />
"Ya won't think it's fun if I give ya a fat lip, ya pommy bastard.", he said, as he turned off the main Hilston dirt road, onto a bush track that led to the cocky's property.<br />
<br />
When we arrived at the cockys' half-built shearing shed, the cocky was already there, cleaning up the place, as the last bloke had left all his garbage laying around.<br />
"Unload the Ute, Burgoo, while I have a yarn with the cocky. Ya can stack all our gear over there. "<br />
"Come on Reggie, let's git started. It's not gonna unload itself.", I said to Reggie.<br />
"Jesus, Yorky mate, how do you put up with that bastard. he's as ignorant as pig shit."<br />
"Yeah, you're not wrong there Reggie. He wouldn't win a popularity contest or a beauty contest!"<br />
"Is he alway like that?"<br />
"Yeh mate, he's pretty consistent. The one good thing in his favor though, he's a good payer if ya work hard and he always pays cash money."<br />
"If he starts on me like he does you mate, I don't think I'll last too long.", said Reggie.<br />
"Try to ignore him and you'll be right mate. He's like a big, fuckin' wart, he grows on ya, after a while."<br />
"He sounds like a dose a' pox to me Yorky. I'm not lookin' forward to a week of that!"<br />
<br />
When Ivers had finished talking to the cocky, the cocky hopped in his Ute and took off.<br />
"Haven't ya finished unloadin' that fuckin' Ute yet Burgoo? Ya fuckin' around like an old Moll at a christening!", He said, as he walked towards me. "Alright you two bludging bastards, here's the Johny Dory!"<br />
Ivers walked us both around the job sight and pointed out al the work he wanted done in a week.<br />
"Strueth! That's a lot of work to do in a week!", said Reggie.<br />
"Bullshit!", said Ivers. "Those fuckin' bungs out at the mission could do this in a week and still have a couple of hours to spare! If ya not up for it mate, you'd better fuck off now!"<br />
"No, no, she'll be right mate. You're the boss."<br />
"Yeah, that's right sport and don't you forget it!"<br />
<br />
We worked really hard all day moving 10 X 4 corrugated iron sheeting closer to the shed, ready to put the roof on the next day. At 6:30 the cocky drove up in his Ute and handed Ivers an old beat-up tucker box, said a few words to him, then drove off. Ivers carried the tucker box over to where we were working and said,<br />
"That'll do for the day. We'll git a good early start in the morning."<br />
"What we doin' for dinner Cecil?", I asked.<br />
"Jesus Christ Burgoo, Ya already had a sandwich at lunch time. Don't tell me ya hungry again?<br />
"I'm a growin' boy Cecil. What can I tell ya."<br />
Ivers bent down and opened the Tucker box. He pulled out a six back of cold Tooeys and tossed us both a beer.<br />
"Good on ya Cecil.", I said as I tested the cold can on mi forehead.<br />
Reggie opened his can and said, "Cheers." He almost downed it all in one go. "Ya got anymore where that one came from?"<br />
"Can you cook Reggie?", Asked Ivers.<br />
"Sure mate. Why?"<br />
" 'Cause there's 3 T-bones in the Esky and an electric fry pan in that wood crate. You're the cook mate! I'll have mine medium-rare and don't fuckin' burn it or you'll be walking to Hilston ta get more! There's a loaf a' bread in my tucker box and a tub of margerine. That should do us for tonight."<br />
Ivers finished off his can and tossed us both another can each. A couple of beers after a hard days work was always welcome. It turned out that Reggie wasn't a bad cook after all either. Even Ivers wasn't complaining about the T-bone as he tore a chunk out of it, gave it a couple of chews and then swallowed it.<br />
Just for a joke, I said to Ivers,<br />
"Didn't ya mother ever tell ya to chew ya food well before swallowing it Cecil?<br />
"Fuck you burgoo! Look after ya own fuckin' steak and don't worry about mine. I'll bet you never had a T-bone in ya life till you came over here. What did you eat in Burgoo Land, Spam and fuckin' beans?"<br />
"Ha ha ha, very fuckin' funny Cecil. No, my old man had a farm. We had chicken and roast potatoes for Sunday dinner."<br />
"Jesus Burgoo, that's pretty rich tucker for a pommy, mate. Did it give ya the scours?"<br />
"No, it didn't Ivers. Unike you, when ya dropped ya guts in the Ute this mornin'."<br />
<br />
Reggie started laughing. Between laughs he said,<br />
"Yorky's got a point there Cec. That was pretty rank mate. I almost had a chunder out the window."<br />
"Fuck you Reggie. I thought you were on mi side, ya turncoat, Aussie bastard! I hope ya not gonna' end up like this pommy bastard!"<br />
With that, Ivers got up and walked over to his Esky box and took out another six-pack of warm beer. When he came back, he said to me, "Are ya beers cold Burgoo?"<br />
"No mate, I haven't got one of those magic bricks that ya stick in the freeze box."<br />
Ivers tossed Reggie a warm can and said, "Here mate, ya fuckin' owe me. Ya can buy me a couple on Wednesday when we drive into Hilston."<br />
"Are we off into town Wednesday night Cecil?", I asked.<br />
"I suppose so. I'm gettin too old for this camping out lark. ", said Ivers.<br />
Resting on a cold, wooden floor all night with no mattress was not the best place I had ever rested but it certainly wasn't the worst either.<br />
<br />
Next morning, we were all up at daylight and the long, hard day began. Ivers showed up both how he wanted the corrugated roof put in place and hammered down. Working with large pieces of corrugated iron sheets was not an easy job and 90 degrees of sun, bouncing off of it did not contribute the the eyesight. Reggie was not handling the job very well. Ivers barking out his orders didn't help matters much either.<br />
"I don't think I'm goin' to last the week out Yorky. This stinkin' job is the worst I've ever had for years mate."<br />
"Don't let the work git to ya Reggie and ignore Ivers manners. That's just how he is. He isn't gonna' change mate. Besides, if ya pull the pin, I'll be left with Ivers on mi own."<br />
<br />
At one point, we needed some more nails, so I said to Reggie,<br />
"You sit up here for a while mate and I'll climb down and get us some more."<br />
Swinging mi leg over the side of the roof, I caught mi knee on a bent corner of the corrugation. I never took much notice of it until I was on the ground. In the process of looking for the roofing nails, I noticed a more than usual amount of flies landing on mi leg. Looking down, I saw a 2 inch gash in the side of mi knee. Blood was trickling down mi leg and into the inside of mi sock.<br />
<br />
"Fuck me dead!", I exclaimed out loud as I examined the gash. I pulled it apart and found out it was also quite deep.<br />
Ivers, who was working close by said,<br />
"What ya whinging about now, ya pommy bastard?"<br />
"I just put a big gash in mi leg, climbing down off the roof!"<br />
Ivers took a look at it and said,<br />
"There's a first-aid kit under the seat of the Ute. Go get it and clean it up."<br />
In the process of wiping off the blood with a some of rubbing alcohol and a cotton pad, Ivers took another look.<br />
"If it doesn't stop bleeding Burgoo, we'll have to put a few stitches in it."<br />
"Fuck that for a joke Ivers. That'll fuckin' hurt!"<br />
"Then just put a lump a' gauze in it and stick it in place with a band-aid. Ya can wrap that crepe bandage around it. It should stop the bleeding."<br />
The band-aid didn't want to stick at first but eventually it did. I wrapped it up with the bandage. The blood was starting to seep through a bit. I said to Ivers,<br />
"Yah think it's gonna be alright?"<br />
" Course it fuckin' is Burgoo. It's only a scratch."<br />
"Fuck you Cecil, there's a fuckin' big gash in it!"<br />
"Oh bullshit burgoo, my old missus has a bigger gash than that and she's got no worries!"<br />
<br />
I was not going to get any sympathy from Ivers so I said,<br />
"Fuck you Ivers, ya Aussie fuckin' bastard!"<br />
"Stop fuckin' whinging burgoo and git back up on that bloody roof, I want it finished today."<br />
Once I was up on the roof, Reggie said,<br />
"What happened mate?"<br />
"I cut the inside of mi knee on the corner of the corrugation as I was climbin' down."<br />
"Shit mate, from the look of the blood on the bandage, ya may have to sew it up or go into Hilston to the hospital. They'll sew it and give ya a tetanus shot."<br />
"She'll be right mate.", I said. "I'll keep an eye on it."<br />
"What did Ivers say.",<br />
"He said his missus has a bigger gash than that and she's still walkin' around."<br />
<br />
Reggie burst out laughing. Between laughs he tried to apologize.<br />
"Sorry about laughing mate, I just couldn't help it. I know he's an ignorant bastard but ya gotta' admit, it's not a bad joke."<br />
"Yeah, suppose ya right, mate. If it wasn't stinging so much, I'd probably be laughing mi head off as well!"<br />
"What are you bludging, fuckin' bastards doin' up there!", yelled Ivers. "Git ya fuckin' arses into gear or you'll both be up the fuckin' track!"<br />
<br />
By the end of the day, the roof was in place, hammered down and the center cap was in place.<br />
The roof was finished! Ivers climbed the extension ladder and begrudgingly gave it his seal of approval. At the end of the next day, with Ivers help, the walls were also hammered into place.<br />
Wednesday mornin' came round too early, for my liking.<br />
Ivers said,<br />
"We'll finish putting the shearing board in that those mongrel bred bastards left half-finished."<br />
<br />
He showed us how he wanted the boards clamped together before we nailed them into place.<br />
"Look at this bodgy fuckin' work.", said Ivers as he inspected the way the other crew had nailed the boards down. "Pull those boards up Burgoo before ya nail 'em. These fuckin' boards are still not 100% dry. If we leave 'em like that, in a couple of months there'll be bloody gaps in 'em! I don't know how some of these fuckin' builders make a living doing bullshit work like that!"<br />
<br />
For all of Ivers ignorance bluster, I will say, he was a damn good builder. He never let shoddy work slip by.<br />
<br />
By the end of Wednesday night, we were making good time on the shearing board. Around 6 O'clock the cocky showed up with a dozen cold cans, steak and chops.<br />
"Are we still going into town Ivers?", asked Reggie.<br />
"Nah, fuck it mate. We've got plenty of grog and tucker. If we go into Hilston we'll git full and be late back. We'll probably be finished by Friday arvo anyway, so we'll stick it out here."<br />
<br />
We finished all the flooring, including the slats for the pens. By Friday arvo we'd finished everything that Ivers had contracted to do. While Reggie and me were loading all the gear into the Ute, Ivers walked the cocky around the completed shed. The cocky was laughing and joking around with Ivers so I reckoned he was pretty happy with the work.<br />
<br />
After the inspection was finished, the Cocky pulled out his checkbook, leaned over the bonnet of his Ute and wrote out the check for Ivers. He walked over to where Reggie and I were standing, shook our hands and thanked us for a job well done.<br />
<br />
It wasn't long now before Ivers Ute was rattling and banging away as we bounced along the Cockys' dirt truck road, on our way to the watering hole, The Hilston Hotel.<br />
Reggie was in high spirits as we drove along. He had finished the job, without pulling the pin. Ivers, also seemed in a bit better mood due to the fact that he had a big fat cheque folded up in his sweat-stained wallet.<br />
<br />
The gash in my leg was healing. It had formed a long dark-looking scab on it. The sides of the gash were not too inflamed looking so I was happy about that, plus we'd put in a lot more hours by camping out, which meant we had a fair bit of money coming to us. That put a good smile on my face.<br />
All in all we were happy as pigs in shit!<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4725535300199715328.post-1935221711237654572017-12-21T18:07:00.006-08:002022-08-28T11:41:20.905-07:00THE DANCE AT THE CIVIC HALL ©"Hey Yorky mate, ya goin' to the dance at the Civic Hall this Saturday?", said Freddy as he entered my room.<br />
"What dance mate? This is the first I've heard of it."<br />
"I think it's the Lions Club dance."<br />
"Does that mean anybody can go or just members?"<br />
"No mate, it's open to everyone."<br />
"Who's playin' the music?"<br />
"Far as I know, it's Harry Plunkett and his band."<br />
"Oh Jeezus mate, that'll be a real lively affair!"<br />
"Ya think so?"<br />
"Nah mate, I'm only kiddin'. Harry Plunkett's about 60 and he's the youngest member, so a quick step will be about as lively as it gets."<br />
"Have ya heard him before Yorky?"<br />
"Sure have mate. Last time he played a dance, he asked me to sit in and play a few numbers on mi trumpet."<br />
"What was it like?"<br />
"Fuckin' awful! Harry plays more wrong notes than right ones. That said, he's a good bloke. The time I played with him, they were playing a waltz and right in the middle of his solo, he hit a real bum note."<br />
"Did everyone stop and look?"<br />
"Nah mate. Harry was the only one who stopped. He took the saxophone out of his mouth and laughed his fuckin' head off! Soon as he could stop himself laughin', he turned to me and said,<br />
"I always fuck up on this solo. I'm not a real good musician but I love playing music. Soon as I've got a few more beers into me, I'll be as good as gold. I never could play sober."<div><br />
"Jeezus Yorky, it sounds to me like it's gonna' be a lot of fun mate. Can you dance?"<br />
"No mate, I'm as good at dancin' as Harry is at the saxophone. He hits bum notes and I tread on toes" The only dance I'm good at is the Quick-step and the Waltz!"<br />
"I don't think I'll be dancin' Yorky. I can't even do that, whatever the fuck they are."<br />
"It's easy Freddy. All ya gotta' do with the Quck-step is walk forwards and the Waltz, Ya just count 1-2-3 ~ 1-2-3 ~ 1-2-3.<br />
"What happens if I fuck up and count 4?"<br />
"The shit hits the fan mate. That's when ya gotta' start apologizing!"<br />
"Do the sheilas' get the shits when ya tread on their toes?"<br />
"No mate, they generally smile and say 'No Worries', but next time ya ask 'em for a dance, they usually say, very politely, 'No thank you' or 'no thanks, mi feet are killin' me."<br />
"I'll be gettin' at least half-full Yorky before I even walk in the door!"<br />
"Yeah, me too mate. I'm too shy, sober. I normally lean against the wall for ages and then when I do git up the courage to ask someone, most times they say 'No' and I end up gettin' the shits'."<br />
"Well if nothin' else Yorky, it's a good excuse for a piss-up."<br />
<br />
"Hey Freddy, I got a real beaut story for ya."<br />
"Go ahead mate, I'm all fuckin' ears!"<br />
"The last time there was a dance on, I was havin' a beer with a bloke called Lucey McGinnes. He's a cocky I did a bit of tractor-driving for. Anyway, as we were stood there, watching the dancers, this bloke that Lucey seemed to know a bit, walked over for a natter, and after a short while he says to Lucey, "Jesus mate, look at all these Sheilas in their good gear. Here's me standin' over here talkin' to you when I'm actually bustin' for a good root. I should put mi beer down and make the rounds. Ya never know, I might get lucky."<br />
"Are ya lookin' for a good root?", asks Lucey.<br />
"Do flies land on shit, mate? I haven't been with a sheila since the missus left me and took off back to her mothers' place with the kids."<br />
"Maybe I can help ya out.", says Lucey.<br />
Now Lucey's a real larrikin, when he's got a few beers in him, so he says to the bloke,<br />
"Ya see that good-lookin' middle-aged sheila over there, on her own? Well, she roots like a cut snake mate."<br />
"How the fuck do you know that?", asks the bloke.<br />
"I rooted her miself quite a few times."<br />
"Ah bullshit Lucey, ya havin' me on."<br />
"Nah, mate, I swear to ya, Gods' honor! She's a real fuckin' goer."<br />
"Ya think I could do all right there?"<br />
"Well, ya never fuckin' know mate, standin' here, bullshittin' with me. Go over and ask her for a dance!"<br />
The bloke thought about it for a bit and said,<br />
"Yeah, fuck it! What do I have to lose?"<br />
<br />
He makes his way over to where the woman's sittin' and asks her for a dance and she says 'Yes'. By this time, Harry and his band are playin' a real slow waltz, so the bloke pulls her in a bit closer and continues to dance. All of a sudden, she pulls away from him and gives him a good smack in the chops and walks back to her seat, with a real disgusted look on her face."<br />
"What happened then mate?"<br />
"Hang on Freddy, I'm just gettin' to the good part!"<br />
"So, this bloke walks back to where Lucey and miself are standin', and he's got the shits. Lucey by the way, is laughin' his head off."<br />
"Suppose ya think that's bloody funny mate?". He says to Lucy. "You said she roots like a cut snake and you'd rooted her before, ya bullshittin' bastard!"<br />
"Nah mate.", says Lucy. "I wasn't bull-shittin' ya sport. As a matter of fact, I rooted her last night. What happened anyway?"<br />
"When I asked her for a dance, she gave me a great smile and said 'yes', so, after we'd been dancin' a while, I pulled her in a bit closer and asked her if she fancied a root! That's when he hauled off and stauched me. Who the fuck is she, anyways?", asks the bloke.<br />
Lucey, who was still laughing his head off, said between laughs,<br />
"It's mi missus mate!"<br />
Lucey cracked up even more now at the look on the blokes face.<br />
"Fuck you, ya miserable bastard!", said the bloke. "Remind me not to believe another word you say, fuck-nuckle!<br />
He downed his beer and took off.<br />
<br />
"Shit Yorky, that's a fuckin' good story.", said Freddy, who was now havin' his own good laugh. "Is it a fair dinkum story mate? Did it really happen?"<br />
"Sure did. It's as fair dinkum as I'm a pommy bastard!"<br />
<br />
<br />
Eventually Saturday arvo rolled around. All week long, I had been thinkin' about all the sheilas that would be at the dance. The Cockys and their daughters would be comin' from miles around. I'd already got mi good gear out of mi port and hung it on a hanger behind the door. Once the decision of what I was going to wear was over, I took off to Freddys' room to see what he was wearing. I found Freddy sat on his bed have a Stubbie with War Dog.<br />
"Ya got ya good clober ready for the dance tonight mate?"<br />
"Sure have Yorky. I'm gonna' wear mi good Daks, shirt, tie and the new jumper ya gave me. What are you wearin'?"<br />
"Pretty much the same mate, but I'm wearing mi good sports coat."<br />
"Jeezus fuckin' christ.", said War Dog. "You two blokes sound like a couple of old sheilas who haven't been out for years!"<br />
"Aren't ya comin' to the dance tonight War Dog?", I asked.<br />
"No fuckin' way cobber. I'm too old for that shit. I'm gonna' have a skin-full and go to bed early."<br />
"There's gonna' be a swag of young sheilas' there War Dog.", said Freddy.<br />
"What fuckin' use is that to me mate? Can you honestly see some young, nubile cockeys' daughter takin' a shine to a crippled up old bastard like me mate?<br />
"Ya never know War Dog, ya might git lucky!"<br />
"Yeah, and I might not. Last sheila I had was mi missus and I kicked that bitch out after I found out she'd been rootin' around behind mi back, while I was at work!"<br />
"Well we're gonna' go and try our luck.", said Freddy.<br />
"You two useless bastards wouldn't git a fuck in a brothel with a fist-full of money!", said War Dog as opened another Stubbie and threw one to me. "Here, have a beer mate. It'll do ya more good than wasting time chasing a root that ya never gonna' get!"<br />
"Ya not gonna' put us off War Dog. We're still gonna' go.", said Freddy.<br />
"Please ya fuckin' self mate. I don't give a monkeys' fuck what ya do. Just remember, this is the Outback, the Bush, mate. The only way you'll git a fuck out a' one of those cockeys' daughters is if ya put a ring on the finger."<br />
"At least it will be fun tryin' War Dog.", I said.<br />
"Since when was gettin' blue knackers fun?", said War Dog.<div> "Anyways, I'm off for a lay-down so I can be in good shape for tonights' session." was my response.<br />
<br />
With that said, War Dog left his empty Stubbie bottles on Freddys night table and made a bee-line for the door.<br />
"Ya think the old bastards' right Yorky?"<br />
"Who gives a rats' arse mate.These dances don't come around every day, so let's make the best of it."<br />
<br />
I'd arranged to meet Freddy in mi room at 8 O'clock. The plan was to get a few beers into us before we made our grand entrance to the Lake Cargelligo dance. A bit of Amber fluid would not go astray!<br />
"So, we gonna' have a few beers in the bar first mate?", I said to Freddy when he arrived.<br />
"Yeah mate, but not here. War Dog's in the bar and he's already half-shot and ya know what he's like. I've already had enough of his bullshit this arvo."<br />
"Why don't we start at Twitcheys' mate? The hall's just across the street."<br />
"Good idea Yorky. We won't have far to walk either."<br />
<br />
"Look out Yorky mate, here comes Popeye!", said Freddy. as we walked towards Shamens' corner.<br />
"Oh he's alright mate. I like Popeye when he's sober."<br />
"I'll bet ya the first round he bites ya for 20 cents mate."<br />
"You're on Freddy!"<br />
<br />
"Where ya off in ya good strides, mate?", said Popeye.<br />
"We're off to the dance Popeye. Can't stop and talk mate. We're runnin' late."<br />
"Can ya give us 50 cents mate? The missus took all mi money again."<br />
"Jeezus Popeye, how much ya owe me now?"<br />
"Can't remember mate, but I'll give it ya back as soon as I start workin'."<br />
"Here's 20 cents mate. I don't have a 50."<br />
"I'll take 2-20s' and a 10. I'm not fussy."<br />
"Twenty cents is all ya gettin' tonight Popeye and think ya self lucky."<br />
"Ya got a smoke to go with it mate?"<br />
I'd bought a packet of Marlborough's that afternoon so I didn't have to pull out the 'bacci and roll one.<br />
"Here mate.", I said as I handed him one.<br />
"No, 'Rochmans' mate."<br />
"No Rothmans tonight Popeye."<br />
"Rich mans' smokes tonight eh Yorky?"<br />
"They're the same fuckin' price as 'Rochmans' mate."<br />
"Give us a light before ya go."<br />
I handed him the red-heads and said,<br />
"Keep 'em Popeye, I'll get more later."<br />
<br />
Soon as we entered Twitcheys', we ordered a couple of middys' and looked around for somewhere to stand.<br />
"Two middys' on the way.", said Annette, who was Twitcheys' wife.<br />
Putting the beers on the bar, she said,<br />
"You two blokes are done up to the nines! I suppose you're off to the dance, are ya?"<br />
"We sure are Annette. We just called in for some Dutch courage.", I said.<br />
"I don't think you two handsome fellas will need much of that, the way you're dressed."<br />
"Well thanks for the compliment Annette but we're not professional dancers ya know."<br />
"It's easy Yorky, ya just put one foot in front of the other."<br />
"It's not just the dancin', we've first got to get up the courage to ask."<br />
"I'm sure you'll both do just fine.", she said. "I'd dance with ya both if you asked me."<br />
"Ya would? Ya wanna come with us?"<br />
"Thank you for the invite Yorky but I gotta' work and besides, I don't think Eric would be too pleased leaving the bar to him all night while I went off dancin'. Anyway, have a good night fellas'. I've gotta ' get back to it."<br />
"Jeezus Yorky mate.", said Freddy, once we'd found a place to stand, out of earshot. I'd root Twitcheys' missus any night of the week, given half a chance!"<br />
"Yeah, you and every other bloke in town. She'd have to be the best lookin' woman this side of the Black Stump Freddy. If Twitchey heard us talkin' like this mate, we'd be barred for life."<br />
<br />
Harry Plunkett and his band were firing on all 3 cylinders and the dance floor was half-full of what Freddy and I termed, 'geriatics'!<br />
"Have ya spotted any young sheilas yet Freddy?"<br />
"There's a couple over there mate but it looks like they've got boyfriends with 'em."<br />
"That's no good to us mate. We're looking for a root, not a fight!"<br />
"What about those two sat over in the corner Yorky?"<br />
"I like mine mate but yours is a bit of a porker."<br />
"Fuck that for a joke. I may not be much to look at miself, but I'm not rootin' the monkey, while you poke the organ grinder!"<br />
"Hey Freddy, what about the 3 young, town abbos sat over there?"<br />
"No mate, not for me. They might say 'yes' and then we'd be stuck with 'em all night, and besides, you don't want to be branded a Ginn Jockey. Ya know what would happen once the blokes in Gilltraps found out. Our lives would be made a fuckin' misery and we'd have to start drinkin' at Twitcheys or Blackers."<br />
"Yeah, ya not wrong there mate. It would be much easier if we were just lookin' for a dance, but the underlying fact is that we're after a potential root!"<br />
"Maybe those young nurses from the Lake Hospital might show up later. A couple of those are pretty good-lookin' sheilas."<br />
"Yeah, that would be great if that happened Yorky. I saw one of 'em in the Dagos' shop last weekend. She even gave me a smile."<br />
"A smile's no good to us mate. We're after the whole 9 yards!"<br />
"Let's go back to Twitcheys for a couple more. It'll give the place a bit more time to fill up."<br />
<br />
As the evening progressed, our prospects seemed to get worse, not better. Eventually after numerous requests for a dance, Freddy decided enough was enough.<br />
"Fuck this bullshit Yorky! I think old War Dog was right. We wouldn't git a fuck in a brothel with a wallet full of money! I'm fed up with gettin' knocked back. I'm gonna call it a night mate."<br />
"Hang on a bit mate. Don't go yet, I'll give it one more go."<br />
"Who ya gonna' ask?"<br />
'One of the abbo sheilas'. I'm sure to get a dance there."</div><div><br />
Casually makin' my way across the dance floor, so I didn't bump into the dancers, I stood in front of the 3 abbo girls, showing them what I thought was my best smile. Each one of them, in turn, smiled and politely said,<br />
"No thank you, we're leaving soon."<br />
"No worries.", I said and made mi way back to where Freddy was propping up the wall.<br />
"How d'ya go Yorky?"<br />
"How d'ya think? Up to shit Bonza mate! Even the fuckin' abbo sheilas knocked me back."<br />
"That's it for me Yorky mate. I'm off back to Traps. This is too fuckin' embarrassing. They can shove their fuckin' Fox Trot up their tucker shute, for all I care! It's a stupid fuckin' dance anyway. Are you comin' mate?"<br />
"I think I'll hang in here a bit longer Freddy. I guess I haven't had enough 'knock-backs' yet."<br />
<br />
By the time the last waltz had played, most people had gone home. I, for one, had downed too many beers, trying to drown my disappointment and rejections. I was also none too happy with the voice in my head that told me, I was an ugly bastard. That's why they won't dance with you! In my drunken stupor, I answered the voice, out loud by saying,<br />
"Fuck you, you're the ugly bastard!"<br />
"Are you talking to me?", said a big fat cocky, as he walked close by me.<br />
"No mate, I was talkin' to miself. I do that when I've had too many."<br />
"Do you ever get an answer?", he asked.<br />
"Yeah, that's the problem."<br />
"I've got the same problem miself mate, only worse! I don't need to get full a' grog before I get started!", said the cocky.<br />
The cocky gave me a pained smile as he left the hall. I was left thinkin' 'lucky he wasn't a cranky bastard or I might have been pickin' miself up off the floor by now.'<br />
<br />
'Fuck this dancing caper', I thought as I left the dance hall. 'This is no good to me.' Trying to walk a straight line up the pavement, I stopped outside Blackers' Hotel and decided to go round the back to his outside urinal. On the way round, I noticed a few voices coming from the barroom. After trying the backdoor, which was locked, I walked into the piss house and unzipped mi fly.<br />
As I stood there, on wobbly legs, I was thinking, 'Well at least I can have a piss when I want one! Last time I'm goin' dancin'.<br />
<br />
That was the last thought I had as instant darkness surrounded me. The next thought to arise could have been a minute later or an hour later, I had no idea, whatsoever.<br />
<br />
'WHERE AM I?' As I slowly came round, I became aware of the fact that I was wet and cold and could smell the stink of piss! The cold, hard fact of life hit me like a semi-fuckin'-trailer, head on!<br />
<br />
I've crashed out in the piss trough! All one side of mi good, 'goin' out gear' is soakin' wet with piss! If that little disaster wasn't bad enough, the end of the piss trough grate was blocked up! Slowly, I regained my feet and then looked down at mi clothes. This was almost the worst disaster of mi life, I thought, as I stood there in the semi-darkness.<br />
<br />
A few thoughts slowly crossed mi mind, as I stood there in total disbelief!<br />
'I hope no one came in for a piss and saw a pommy, fuckin' bastard flaked out in the piss trough and pissed on me? Now you know how the abbos feel when they're full of plonk mate! Then, I heard Kevin Skippys' voice say, 'Ya not gonna' become like some of those fuckin' alchys' who hang out at Gilltraps bar are ya, Yorky mate? What d'ya think ya mother would say if she saw ya now mate?'<br />
<br />
Up until that point, I had never realized how quickly one could sober up, in a dire situation. I decided to weave mi way along the back streets to Gilltraps, rather than risk the possibility of being seen walkin' up the main street with piss fumes rising off mi clothes! My main thought as I walked home was, 'Jeezus, I hope I don't run into someone I know or this little story will be all over Lake Cargelligo before I get back to Gilltraps!'<br />
<br />
Finally! I made it back to Gilltraps, unseen. Once in mi room, I grabbed mi towel and soap, then headed for the shower stall. I made the water as hot as I could stand it, climbed out of mi good gear and threw them on the floor. I must have stayed in the shower for a good 20 minutes, trying to scrub away the smell of piss and the stink of shame!</div><div><br />
There was a bucket in the shower area. As soon as I was finished, I stuffed mi clothes in it and went back to mi room to put some clean-smelling clothes on. After I was dressed, I went out the back of Giltraps and stuffed all mi good clothes in a rubbish bin and put other rubbish on top of 'em, trusting that no one would find 'em.<br />
<br />
Back in mi room, as I laid on mi bed, I ran through the events of my big Saturday night out, which concluded with the false promise that I'd never drink again!<br />
<br />
Once I woke up, after a few hours rest, I went down the hallway to Freddys' room. I was surprised to see Freddy half-full and drinkin' Tinnies with War Dog.<br />
<br />
"Here he is!", said War Dog as I walked in. "The Pommy fucking Romeo of the Outback! The big Bush stud! The King of Root Rats!"<br />
"Fuck you War Dog! Take the piss as much as ya like. It doesn't bother me mate!"<br />
"I'm so glad you came Yorky. He's been takin' the piss out of me all afternoon."<br />
"Don't listen to him Freddy, he's only jealous."<br />
"Jealous of what? You two fuck-wits?"<br />
"At least we got dressed up and went somewhere mate. What did you do? Keep ya' fuckin' piles warm on Gilltraps stool all night?"<br />
"You leave my hemorrhoids out of it sport! You two are a bigger pain in the arse than my hemorrhoids will ever be!"</div><div><br />
"Hey Yorky mate, did ya do any good after I left last night?"<br />
"Nah mate, the only bright spot was when an old sheila came and asked me to join in the barn dance. I told her I was just leavin'."<br />
"Why didn't ya put the hard word on her mate?", said War Dog, in a sarcastic way.<br />
" 'Cause she had a face like yours mate, full a' fuckin' wrinkles!"</div><div><br />
Freddy thought this was a great joke and burst out laughin' which finally ended in a fit of coughing.<br />
"I hope ya fuckin' choke to death, ya yobo bastard!", said War Dog. "You two young blokes are as useless as tits on a boar pig! I told the pair of ya that if ya were lookin' to get a root at that dance, you'd end up frustrated and floggin' ya bloody maggot!"<br />
"I wasn't floggin mi maggot War Dog.", said Freddy. "I was so bloody drunk, when I got home, I slept in mi good gear!"<br />
"The problem with you two bastards is, ya can't hold ya fuckin' grog!"<br />
"And you can, War Dog? What about the time ya chundered all over ya bed and Cath Gilltrap made ya dry clean the covers?"<br />
"Fuck you, ya pommy bastard! I was sick with the flu when that happened!"<br />
"Yeah, bottle flu!", I said.<br />
"Ya know what? I don't have to sit here with you two fuckin' losers! I'm off back to the bar where I can get some intelligent conversation!"<br />
With that said, War Dog finished his beer and stormed out.<br />
"I think ya' upset him Yorky."<br />
"Fuck that miserable bastard. He's alright when he's sober but when he's drunk, he's a mean, fuckin' dick-head!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4725535300199715328.post-28908183093482656782017-12-20T17:48:00.002-08:002022-08-21T11:03:05.724-07:00MRS. GIBSON ~ ONE WISE WOMAN It was a common practice at Gilltraps, on a Friday and Saturday nights, to migrate into the lounge, which was commonly known as The Sow Pen.<div><br />
The Sow Pen was a room off of the end of the bar. It had a serving hatch where one could order their beers. A juke box that played country music, like Slim Dusty, Rick and Thel and Chad Morgan, and everyones' favorite song Running Bear. Sadie the Cleaning Lady ran a close second.<br />
<br />
Round tables and fairly comfortable chairs were provided as the Sow Pen was furnished with women in mind, seeing as they weren't allowed in the barroom. According to that bit of strategy, women were one rung lower on the ladder, as Abbos' were now allowed to drink in the bar and drink they did. Women not being allowed in the bar was not a NSW government law. It was, more or less, a Bush law owing to the fact that blokes would get full of grog, curse and swear.<br />
<br />
Those days were not like today, where most people swear in mixed company. For example; women were no allowed in the shearing shed. If any woman was within earshot of the shed, some one would yell out, 'Ducks on the Pond!'<br />
<br />
Mrs. Gibson was an Aboriginal cook who worked for Cath Gilltrap in the Hotel kitchen. She was about 50 years old and probably had 30 to 40% white fella in her. Her height was about 5'7" and she weighed around 12 stone (170 pounds). Mrs. Gibson, who was known as Gibbi, dressed well and spoke very good english. She was also the proud mother of 5 children of various ages.<br />
<br />
Some mornings, when I was due to leave early for work, she would, very kindly, make me some breakfast before the scheduled time. Gilltraps dining room was nothing to write home about. Although very clean, it was more or less, one empty room with 4 dining tables plus chairs. Not wanting to sit in an empty room to eat my breakfast, Mrs. Gibson cleared a space on the over-sized kitchen table where I could eat.<br />
<br />
On one particular morning, the head cook was late for work. She'd been on the grog in the Sow Pen, with her drinking mates the night before. Cath Gilltrap, who was normally even tempered and very fair, was in a stinking mood, as she rushed around the kitchen helping Gibbi with the cooking and cleaning. Eventually the head cook arrived for work 40 minutes late. No sooner had she put on her apron, Cath Gilltraps' had a piece of her.<br />
"What time d'ya call this? Ya paid to start work at 5:30."<br />
"Yeah, I know.", said the head cook.<br />
"This is not acceptable. You've been late twice already this week."<br />
"Yeah, 5 minutes.", said the cook.<br />
"How would you like it if I had added up the times that you've been late and docked it off ya pay?"<br />
"It won't happen again.", she said.<br />
"What am I gonna' tell the guests this morning, now that the schedule is off?"<br />
<br />
All of a sudden and without warning, the head cook removed her apron and threw it into the large pot of lamb stew that was sitting on the stove.<br />
"Ya know what Cath? Why don't ya take ya fuckin' apron and ya breakfast schedule and shove it up ya arse and while we're at it, if you ever want me to cook for ya again, I want a raise!"<br />
<br />
With that said, in no uncertain terms, she stormed out and said to Mrs. Gibson, "See ya in the Sow Pen."<br />
<br />
"Well that certainly livened up the morning.", said Gibbi to Mrs. Gilltrap. "What are we gonna' do for a Head cook now? We're already one cook short until I find a replacement. You can be the head cook, until I find a replacement."<br />
"Not bloody likely. I'm already working mi arse off in here, as it is."<br />
"I'll put a few extra bucks in ya wages for ya."<br />
"No bloody way. I've got a bad back and I'm already doing more work than I get paid for! You need to find another head cook today or there'll be no more meals cooked in this kitchen."<br />
"I'm not gonna' be able to find another cook in one day! What d'ya expect me to do?"<br />
"Well, I suppose you'd better go round and see her."<br />
"For what?", says Cath.<br />
"Apologize for going off on her. Ya know how temperamental she is, when she's had a big night on the grog. Besides, she's the best cook in the Lake. You'll never find anyone better than her."<br />
"Just do lunch and dinner for me Gibbi and I'll have some one else by tonight."<br />
"All right, but that's it! If you haven't got someone by the time I knock off, I won't be in tomorrow. You can let me know when you've found someone!"<br />
<br />
"Jeezus, what a beaut drama!", I said to Gibbi, once Gilltraps wife had left the kitchen. "So what happens now?<br />
"She'll have to apologize to her and ask her to come back to work."<br />
"What if she doesn't?"<br />
"She'll have to. That old sheila took a hotel cooking course. She's got a certificate to prove it."<br />
"Why don't you want the job Gibbi? You'll make more money."<br />
"Bullshit! She'll have me doing more work for the same pay. I might be an Abbo but I'm not stupid or lazy like those mission bungs. I'm educated and I live in town. I've raised 5 good kids and they're all pretty well-educated as well!"<br />
<br />
The next morning, when I walked into the kitchen for breakfast, there stood the Head Cook, in a clean apron busying herself at the stove.<br />
"What happened?", I asked Mrs.Gibbi, on the QT.<br />
"Cath Gilltrap had to go round to her place and apologize and give her the raise she asked for."<br />
"So, things are hunky-dorry now?"<br />
"Yeah, till the next time."<br />
<br />
Mrs. Gibbons was a strong, powerful Aborigine woman, who never took bullshit from anyone! <br />
<br />
It was now Friday night and Freddy, miself and War Dog were in a school together at Gilltraps bar, relaxing from a weeks hard work, in and around the Bush. Freddy, who had just come back from the dunny said,<br />
"Hey Yorky mate, I just stuck mi head in the Sow Pen. They've got a bit of a party goin' on in there. Ya think we ought to join 'em?"<br />
"Why not mate. We'll finish this round off, then poke our noses in there and see what's happening. Ya wanna' join us War Dog?"<br />
"Now why the fuck would I wanna' sit in the Sow Pen with a bunch of middle-aged, fat sheilas' who are half-tanked up on grog?"<br />
"It might be fun War Dog.", said Freddy. "Some of 'em are dancing."<br />
"That sounds to me like it would be as much fun as a feed of shit mate. When are you two bastards gonna learn? If ya wanna' root, ya gotta hop in that old A55 of yours and take off to West Wyalong or Griffith. Somewhere, where nobody knows ya'!"<br />
"Very fuckin' funny War Dog. Like you're the expert at gittin' a root."<br />
"Look mate, I'm no expert at gittin' a root but don't ya' think I was a young bloke once? Same as you two fuck-wits. Lake Cargelligo is a small, conservative, Bush town. Ya can't fart without the whole town knows about it. The smell wouldn't have time to leave ya strides before they were talkin'."<br />
"Were you a young bloke once?", asked Freddy with a shocked look on his face.<br />
"Ya cheeky, fuckin' cunt!", said War Dog. "I'm surprised at you mate. Ya startin' to sound like this pommy bastard here. Haven't ya ever heard of respectin' ya elders?"<br />
<br />
The tone of War Dogs voice soon changed the look on Freddys' face, as he said,<br />
"Can't ya take a joke War Dog? You're always tryin' to take the piss outa' me and Yorky. If ya not on at us about rootin, you're on at us about our workin' ability."<br />
"And rightly so!", said War Dog. "He'll never git a root as long as his arsehole points to the ground, and you Freddy, mi old china, wouldn't work in an Iron, fuckin' lung! Have ya forgotten mate? I'm the bloke who worked on the relief gang with ya."<br />
"Yeah, well fuck you War Dog. You're not such a great worker ya self. You still think manual labor is a Dago tennis star!"<br />
This little joke of Freddys' struck a raw nerve in War Dog. He said,<br />
"What am I doing, wasting mi fuckin' time sittin' here, drinkin' beer with you two disrespectful ding- bats? Fuck you two, I'm off down to Twitcheys for a beer. At least I'll git a bit of intelligent conversation there. All you two bastards ever think about is work and rootin', and not necessarily in that order!"<br />
<br />
At that moment, one of the barmen walked over and said,<br />
"Same again fellas?"<br />
"No, shove it up ya fuckin' tucker-shute mate!", said War Dog and made a bee line for the door.<br />
"Jeezsus fellas', ya sure riled the old bastard up tonight!", said the barman.<br />
"Fuck him!", I said. "He can dish it out but he can't take it. He's always the same once he's had a skin-full. Anyway, he'll have forgotten all about it by tomorrow."<br />
"Ya probably right mate, but don't drive any more of my customers off to Twitcheys or I'll end up down there miself, lookin' for a job!"<br />
The barman put 2 middys on the counter, gave us a wink and walked away without pickin' up the money off the bar.<br />
"Jezesus Freddy, maybe you should insult War Dog more. I think the barman just shouted us!"<br />
"Sounds alright to me Yorky mate. Let's migrate to the Sow Pen."<br />
<br />
Once Freddy and me found chairs and a table, we settled into a fun evening of beer and laughter. The usual songs were plugged on the juke box and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. Even Freddy got up for a bit of a dance, even though his moves looked slightly retarded!<br />
<br />
Mrs. Gibson was, by this time, well on her way. She must have been because when some one played a slow song she'd say,<br />
"Come on Chummy, ya pommy bastard, make an old Ginn happy, git up and dance with me."<br />
I noticed, as the night wore on, she started pulling me in closer on the slow dances. This little action started to provoke ideas in my teenage, sex-starved brain, as I could feel her rather large breasts pushing against mi chest.<br />
"I really love a good party Chummy.", she said as we moved around in a small circle. "But don't get me wrong mate, I'm not an Alchy' like these black bastards, out at the mission. I'm a clean-livin' woman."<br />
<br />
After the dance finished, we sat at a table together, drinking our beer.<br />
"Don't ya like the Mission Abbos, Gibbi?"<br />
"Course I do. They're my people. How can I not?"<br />
"So why ya down on 'em"<br />
"I'm not down on 'em, it's their actions that I'm pissed-off with. They give all my people a bad name. Take your mate Popeye, for example. He walks around in bloody rags, 'cause he spends his money on cheap plonk. Then when he's broke down to the bones of his scrawny ass, he spends his time biting money off white fellas that have been working hard in the Bush all day! What the Aboriginal board ought to do is train 'em up to do something useful in life. That would give 'em a bit of self-respect and for the ones who refuse, kick 'em off the Mission and stick 'em back in the Bush. That'd wake 'em up."<br />
"Don't ya put any blame on the white fellas' for stealing the land and introducing them to grog?"<br />
"Course I bloody do. There's enough blame to go around for everyone but whinging about it hasn't done any good so far."<br />
"What about ya kids, Gibbi? What do they identify with, black fellas or white fellas?"<br />
"Both. And I brought them up not to be racists. There's too much of that shit around already!"<br />
"What about ya husband? Is he still alive?"<br />
"Yeah, he works on a station, west of here."<br />
"D'ya ever see him?"<br />
"Yeah, when he's blind drunk. He comes around biting me for money. He's a weak-willed piece of shit. Soon as he gets a check, he'll go and piss it up against the wall with his lazy abbo mates. What bloody use is he to a woman? I'm better off without him! I raised all my kids on mi own with no bloody help from that useless bastard! Let's change the subject Chummy, I don't wanna get all pissed-off and cranky. I'm in a good mood tonight!"<br />
<br />
Just then, one of Gibbis' mates came over and said,<br />
"We're carrying the party on at our place after Traps closes, so I'm off home now to set up some tables and chairs on the lawn. You interested?"<br />
"Too right Mavis, I'm up for anything tonight. I can't remember when I've had as good a time."<br />
"Well, make sure ya come and bring ya mate with ya."<br />
"No worries Mave, I'll be there."<br />
"Hey Chummy, have you still got that old rust bucket of yours?"<br />
"Yeah, it's out the back of Traps, parked up. I don't drive it much 'cause it uses near on as much oil as petrol."<br />
"Ya think it would get us the other side a' town?"<br />
"If she starts up, she will and as long as the battery's not flat."<br />
"Ya wanna drive me to Mavis's place later?"<br />
"No worries. Sounds like a good plan to me."<br />
"That old bomb's safe isn't it?"<br />
"Yeah. It's even registered!"<br />
"Ya ever had a fat old Ginn in the passengers seat before?"<br />
"I'm not sure what ya mean?"<br />
"I mean me! You'd better make sure the front tires are good and solid or we'll driving on the rims."<br />
"You're not a fat, old Ginn, Gibbi. You're a pretty good sort."<br />
"Ya should have seen me before I got married and dropped 5 kids! I was a pretty good sort then."<br />
"I'm sure you were Gibbi."<br />
<br />
"Last Orders!", yelled Gilltrap through the serving hatch. "Better hurry up if ya want another!"<br />
<br />
After the last order was consumed, Gibbi and miself made our way out to the parking area where mi old A55 was waiting for us.</div><div><br />
"Look out!", said Gibbi as we stumbled around, "Over there in the dark."<br />
It was almost impossible to see them, sprawled out with an empty flagon on its side between them.<br />
"You start the car Chummy. I'm gonna call the Sergeant and tell to come pick 'em up."<br />
"Why would ya do that? He'll chuck 'em in the Bull Wagon and take 'em off to jail for the night!"<br />
"Better that, then gettin' run over by some drunken Yobbo, leaving the bar!"<br />
<br />
Gibbi took off to phone Montgomery and I set about starting up mi old oil burner that hadn't been driven for a few weeks. Surprisingly, after checkin' the oil, the old girl fired up on the third try. As soon as Gibbi came back I said,<br />
"Hop in love, were on our way!"<br />
"You are bloody joking.", she said, in her dry sense of humor. "I'll be flat-out lifting up my fat, black arse onto the seat, never mind 'hopping'! I haven't hopped onto anything for the past twenty years!"<br />
<br />
This little joke of hers gave us both a good laugh as I carefully reversed the car out onto the street.<br />
"We'd better git out'a here quick Gibbi before the sergeant shows up, or depending on his mood, he may ask me why I'm driving after drinking all night!"<br />
"Oh fuck that fat bastard Chummy. He's after black fellas' now, not white fellas. One of those mission abbos was so black he'll have to use his torch to find him in the dark."<br />
<br />
The barbecue party at Mavises' humpy was a roaring success. We drank more Tinnies, ate lamb chops and steak and did our best to dance around on the lawn like a bunch of retards.<br />
"Let's go Chummy, ya pommy bastard.", said Gibbi, as the long night drew to a close."<br />
"No worries mate. D'ya need me to help ya git ya fat black arse into the car?"<br />
"Maybe. Let me try it on mi own first and if not we'll take one cheek apiece and load it in that way."<br />
<br />
It was near on dawn when I pulled the old car up in front of Gibbis' humpy, which was on the outskirts of town.<br />
"There ya go mate.", I said to her. "I got ya home safe and sound."<br />
"Hey Chummy, I've got to tell ya mate, this is the best night out I've had since, I don't know when. Give us a bit of a kiss and cuddle and that will make my day."<br />
Very obligingly and with quite a bit of enthusiasm, I fulfilled the request. At the same time, I slowly slid mi hand up the inside of her leg. I'd only got mi hand halfway to the destination when it came to an abrupt halt with her hand on top of mine, stopping any further progress. After a few minutes of persistence and failure at each attempt, Gibbi said,<br />
"Chummy, the front seat of this old bomb of yours are too small for what you've got in mind and I'm too fuckin' old and drunk to try fumblin' around on the back seat, so I'll make you a deal mate! You take me on a night-out to a five star restaurant in Griffith, with a tablecloth and candles and when we get home, I'll invite you into my old humpy and ya can root me all night long! How does that sound?"<br />
Even though I was quite shocked with her blunt honesty, I gave her a good smile and said,<br />
"Alright Gibbi, you're on! It's a date, as long as this oil burner can make it. I'll let you know when."<br />
With that said, she clicked open the car door and after a few tries to get out, she said,<br />
"Well don't just sit there mate, these seats are too bloody low. Give us a hand out!"<br />
After a bit of effort, I had her up on her feet.<br />
"Good on ya mate.", she said as she wobbled off up the path to her front door.<br />
<br />
It was now well and truly Saturday morning as I parked the car on the side street, next to Gilltraps. Once inside mi room, I threw miself on top of the bed and contemplated the offer that Mrs. Gibbi had made me. It didn't take long to nod off, as it been a long, hard night of partying. I was awakened around 4 in the afternoon by a loud knocking on the door.<br />
"All right! All right, I'm fuckin' comin'! Hold ya bloody horses! Jeezus Freddy, I said, opening the door, did ya have to knock so bloody loud?"<br />
"Ya got a headache Yorky?"<br />
"No mate, I never get headaches but I feel like shit. I didn't git home till this morning!"<br />
"Ya got any Tinnies in ya room mate?"<br />
"No, I just finished the last one. Mi mouth tasted like the bottom of a fuckin' parrot cage when I woke up. Go grab a six-pack will ya mate? Mi tongue's stickin' to the roof of mi mouth. I'll fix ya up, when ya get back."<br />
<br />
Once the cans were opened we took a swig of the hair of the dog.<br />
"What time d'ya git home mate?", I asked Freddy.<br />
"About 3 this morning."<br />
"What about you?"<br />
"Ya beat me by a couple of hours. The sun was coming up when I laid down. I didn't even bother to take off mi good gear, by the looks of it!"<br />
"That's not like you Yorky mate. Your room's always 10 times more tidy than mine and ya good clothes are always hung up behind the door."<br />
"Yeah, I must have had a better night than I thought! What's the Johnny-Dorry Freddy? Did ya git any last night?"<br />
"Well, sort of mate."<br />
"What d'ya mean, 'sort of'? Either ya did or ya didn't. Come on mate, spill ya guts."<br />
"I got a ride to the party with some sheila who was related to Mavis."<br />
"The one I saw ya dancin' with?"<br />
"Yeah, that was probably her, mate."<br />
"She didn't look like a bad sport."<br />
"Yeah, she was pretty good fun. She almost drunk me under the table. She was chuckin' it back like it was goin' out of fashion."<br />
"Was she from the Lake?"<br />
"Nah, she said she was from Condo. She's divorced with a couple of kids."<br />
"How old was she?"<br />
"I didn't ask mate but she looked about 35 or 40."<br />
"A divorcee, with a couple of kids! Ya must have hit the jackpot?"<br />
"Not quite mate. At the end of the night, we parked up along the lakeside and started some heavy pettin' but she wouldn't go all the way."<br />
"How come?"<br />
"I think she was one of those old-fashioned types that doesn't cock it up on a first date."<br />
"So ya got nothin'?"<br />
"Well, not exactly. She agreed to flog mi maggot and said she'd go all the way next time."<br />
"Fuckin' hell Freddy, at least ya got something. It's more than I got."<br />
"Last time I saw ya Yorky, you were spinnin' old Mrs. Gibson around on the lawn."<br />
"Yeah mate, that's about all that happened."<br />
"Don't tell me you were thinkin' of rootin' old Gibbi?"<br />
"She's not that fuckin' old mate and besides, she's a lot of fun to be with. I wasn't thinkin' about age."<br />
"Ya mean 'cause she's an abbo?"<br />
"Yeah, sort of. She's not a mission abbo Freddy, she's lived in town most of her life."<br />
"Did ya try anythin' on with her?"<br />
"Yeah, I got mi hand half-way up her leg before she stopped me. After a few more times, she agreed to give me a root."<br />
"So ya hit the Jackpot?"<br />
"Nah, there was a fuckin' catch to it."<br />
"What d'ya mean 'a catch'?"<br />
"When she stopped mi hand the last time, she said she'd make me a deal. If I take her to a 5 star restaurant in Griffith for a night out, when we get home, I could root her all night long!"<br />
"Fair fuckin' dinkum, she said that?"<br />
"Fuckin' oath mate."<br />
"Are ya gonna?"<br />
"I don't know yet."<br />
"Ya not seriously thinkin' of takin' an abbo sheila to a posh restaurant are ya?"<br />
"Well, that's the problem I've created for miself. If I take her to a restaurant, it's bound to be full of white fellas' and their wives and ya know what that's gonna' be like. They'll be starin' at us and talkin' about us all the time we're there! I can't pretend it's mi older sister or mi auntie, can I? I'm as white as a shirt washed in New Blue Star, fuckin' OMO, in comparison to her. She's as black as the Ace of Spades. Now, if I don't take her, she's gonna' think I'm a racist, white bastard who's ashamed to be seen with her, in a high-class restaurant, so I'm not sure what I'm gonna' do yet."</div><div><br />
"I know ya not askin' me mate but if I was in your position, I think I'd rather be seen as a white racist bastard than a low-life Ginn jockey. Besides, even if ya weren't rootin' the old girl, they'd imagine ya were."<br />
"Yeah, that's what I'm thinkin'. If I don't take her after I already said I would, she'll think I'm a racist bastard, as well."<br />
"It's a pity she's not white?"<br />
"Why'd ya say that mate?"<br />
" 'Cause if she was white, they'd think you were a granny-fucker, which at least, is one step up from a Ginn Jockey!"<br />
"I suppose you think that's fuckin' funny Freddy?", I said, as he broke into fits of laughter. "Here I am, in the shit now because mi brains were in the head of mi dick last night and all you can do is extract the urine at my expense!"<br />
"Oh, I'm sorry for laughin' Yorky mate. It's just so fuckin' funny."<br />
"By the way Freddy, don't you dare tell old War Dog about this fiasco or I'll never hear the end of it!"<br />
"Well, all in all Yorky, after hearing about your night, I don't feel so bad about mine. At least I got a wank, with no strings attached!"<br />
<br />
After discussing my little predicament with Freddy, who, I might add, was not much help, I decided not to go into Gilltraps' kitchen for an early breakfast until I could work out a good excuse why I wouldn't be takin' Mrs. Gibson for a 5 Star meal. The excuse that kept comin' up more than any other was mi old A55. I'll just tell her that the old oil burner wouldn't make it.<br />
<br />
Once the fateful morning was decided, I walked into the kitchen wearing the best smile I could, under the circumstances.<br />
"G'day Gibbi.", I said.<br />
Gibbi, who was stirring a pot on the stove, turned and faced me with a smile and said,<br />
"G'day Chummy, How are ya?"<br />
"Not bad Gibbi, how are you?"<br />
"Eggs on toast do ya this morning?"<br />
"That sounds great Gibbi. Thanks."<br />
As I sat there at the table, all sorts of excuses were runnin' through mi mind. What threw me for a loop was the fact that she smiled at me. Maybe she thinks I'm still gonna' take her? What's gonna' happen when I break the bad news to her? She'll never speak to me again. She put the eggs on toast in front of me and asked,<br />
"Ya wanna' cup of tea with that Chummy?"<br />
She was being so kind and sweet to me that I now felt like shit inside. Once she'd put the tea down in front of me, she passed over the milk and sugar, which I could have reached miself, no problem at all.<br />
The head cook had still not arrived and Cath Gilltrap was nowhere to be seen.<br />
<br />
"I think I'll have a quick cuppa' miself.", she said, as she poured out the tea and cleared a place for herself at the table, directly opposite me.<br />
'Oh, fuck me dead, I thought, here it comes. I'm not lookin' forward to this little drama!'<br />
"So how ya been since the party Chummy. Ya haven't been in for breakfast for a few days."<br />
"No, I wasn't workin' Gibbi. I've been gettin' a bit of extra rest in the mornings."<br />
"Chummy, you and I need to have a bit of a chat about the other night."</div><div><br />
I almost choked on a bit of toast at the thought of what she was gonna' say to me. She still had a decent smile on her face. I knew the shit was gonna' hit the fan.</div><div><br />
"That nights' partying we did together was the best fun I've had for a long time mate. I almost felt like a young girl again."<br />
"Oh that's great Gibbi.", I said as I tried to hide the nervousness in mi voice.<br />
"Yeah Chummy, dancing with you mate made me realize what life is all about. I've been working my arse off for so many years, bringing up 5 kids on mi own that I'd forgotten all about looking after miself."<br />
'I'm happy to hear that Gibbi and I'm glad you had fun."<br />
"How about you Chummy? Did you have a good time?"<br />
"Yeah, of course I did. Parties are always good fun."<br />
"Do you remember our little deal we talked about before I got out'a that old bomb of yours, in front of my place?"</div><div><br />
Oh fuck me, here it comes. I thought, She'll never speak to me again after this. I've ruined a good friendship, just for feeling a bit of warm thigh!<br />
"Yeah, well I've been meanin' to talk to you about that Gibbi...."<br />
"Hang on a minute Chummy, I haven't finished yet. Look Chummy, you and I are real good mates and I don't wanna' hurt ya' so I'm just gonna' blurt it out. I've changed mi mind about the deal. I'm not comfortable with it. I was full of grog when I suggested it and it sounded great at the time but it's been bothering me for the past few days. I don't wanna lead ya' on, when it's not gonna' go anywhere. I don't wanna' go to a 5 star restaurant in Griffith, and besides the place will be full of rich white fellas' and their wives. Ya can guarantee they'll be thinking, 'What's that fat old Ginn doing with that young white fella. They'll be thinking I'm a bloody cradle snatcher! I can't really pass ya off as mi cousin. Here's me, as black as the night, and here's you with skin like a pomegranate! I hope ya not too disappointed?"</div><div><br />
'Oh Jesus, thank you Lord! There is a God after all!' I thought to miself. I'm off the hook and I won't come out a' this lookin' like a racist bastard!</div><div><br />
"Well, I am a bit, Gibbi, but no worries mate. I don't wanna' hold ya to a deal ya not comfortable with."<br />
"That's very gentlemanly of ya Chummy. As I said, I've been worrying miself sick since I made that stupid deal. I guess it was the grog that was talking."</div><div><br />
Just for fun, I said to Gibbi,<br />
"I suppose a fuck's out of the question now, as well eh?<br />
"Well Chummy.", she said with a big Aboriginal smile on her face. "What can I tell ya' mate, No feed no fuck! Anyway, why would ya' wanna' root a big, old black-arsed Ginn like me when there's a whole world of young, white sheilas' out there that would be glad of the opportunity."<br />
"In Lake Cargellligo, Gibbi? If ya' come across one, let me know will ya?'<br />
We both had a real good laugh about the whole deal. Right in the middle of it, Cath Gilltrap walked in and said,<br />
"What are you two laughing about, so early in the morning?"<br />
"Gibbi just told me a rude joke.", I said.<br />
"Mrs. Gibson, I'm surprised at you!"<br />
<br />
It was time to make a quick exit while I was still in front. Later that afternoon, Freddy was visiting me in mi room, when all of a sudden, he said,<br />
"So ya still takin' old Gibbi for a 5 Star dinner Yorky?"<br />
"Nah mate, she dumped me. She said she was full when she made the deal."<br />
"Oh that's a shame. Would ya like me to give me Granny a ring? I reckon I could set ya' up there, no problem at all mate! Better people think that you're a granny fucker than a Ginn jockey!"<br />
"Git fucked Freddy!"<br />
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<br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4725535300199715328.post-82383757975518295412017-12-18T13:29:00.002-08:002018-03-13T19:13:31.946-07:00THE BUSH TELEGRAPH © Laboring work, in those days in the Bush, was either feast or famine. I was sittin' at Gilltraps bar havin' a cold one when old War Dog walked in.<br />
"G'day Yorky.", said War Dog, in his usual gravely voice. "Ya havin' one mate?"<br />
"Yeah, why not War Dog,"<br />
"Two middies Trap.", said War Dog, as he pulled up a bar stool.<br />
Soon as the beers hit the counter, War Dog picked his beer up and said,<br />
"Cheers mate!"<br />
He then proceeded to down it in one quick gulp.<br />
"Ya thirsty, are ya mate?"<br />
"Yeah, I've been workin' mi arse off leanin' on a shovel all day!"<br />
"Where are ya working Yorky?", He asked.<br />
"Nowhere mate, things are a bit slack."<br />
"What about Ivers? Don't ya usually work with him?"<br />
"Yeah, but he's only got enough for himself, at the moment."<br />
"Where you slavin' at War Dog?"<br />
"Oh mate, I've got miself a cosy little job on the council doing some emergency relief work."<br />
"What's that mate?"<br />
"They've got a few weeks work clearing up the lake and surroundin' areas. It's temporary, for blokes who can't find any work."<br />
"Ya think I could git a start there?"<br />
"Don't see why not mate. They've even got a couple of Mission bungs on mi crew. I'll have a word with the boss for ya tomorrow, if ya like."<br />
"Good on ya War Dog, that sounds great! I've got a few bob left but after tucker, board and grog, it doesn't last long."<br />
"Ya got enough for another round mate? It's your shout. I'm dyin' of fuckin' thirst here, cobber."<br />
"No worries War Dog. I'm not that broke."<br />
War Dog and me had a few more rounds.<br />
<br />
The next evening found me sat in Gilltraps waiting for War Dog to make his entrance. For some reason, he didn't show up at his usual time. When he did show up, he walked over and said,<br />
"Jesus Yorky, I thought you'd have one waitin' for me."<br />
"I did mate, but ya never showed so I drank it miself."<br />
After I'd bought the first round and War Dog had downed half of it, he said,<br />
"I went for a couple at Twitcheys' with one of the blokes in mi gang, soon as we knocked off, but he had to leave early. His old missus was sat in the station wagon outside waiting for him. Come on Yorky mate, git that middy up ya. I'm dyin' of thirst here!"<br />
<br />
We had our own form of communication in the Outback. It was loosely called THE BUSH TELEGRAPH. As Gilltrap placed two middies on the bar and took War Dogs' money, War Dog said to me,<br />
"Hey Yorky, did ya hear about the big accident that happened last night?"<br />
"No mate. What accident?"<br />
War dog downed half of his middy and then pulled out a packet of Camels from his shirt pocket. Soon as he was satisfied it was going alright, he started his tale.<br />
"Well mate, apparently this Cocky was drivin' home, full as a boot. He'd been knockin' 'em back at Twitcheys all day and most of the night. On his way home, on the mission road, he fell asleep and hit three bungs who were walkin' home from town, on the side of the road."<br />
"Fuckin' hell War Dog, are ya' fair dinkum?"<br />
"My fuckin' oath mate!"<br />
"Did he kill 'em?"<br />
"Too fuckin' right, he killed 'em mate. Stone fuckin' dead!"<br />
"So, what happened mate?"<br />
"Well, someone passed him on the other side of the road heading into the Lake. He informed the old Sarg and his constable once he hit town. When the Sarg arrived at the scene, they say it was real gruesome. A couple of bungs were found dead on the road and the third one they found dead about 20 feet away, in the table drain."<br />
"Jesus War Dog, I reckon that Cocky's shittin' himself now. He'll probably git done for drunk drivin' and murder!"<br />
"Hang on a bit Yorky mate. I haven't finished the story yet. By the way, it's your shout mate.<br />
"No worries mate, I'll git 'em once your finished the story."<br />
<br />
"Now where was I? He'd just hit the black fellas' and killed 'em, right? So, before Monty and his constable left the cop shop, he called the Condoblin cop shop for some back up. Anyway, to cut a long story short, there's about 5 cops on the scene now, taking measurements and a statement from the Cocky. They tell me, by this time, the Cocky is pretty sober and now realizes he's fucked, so he says to the the fuckin', big ugly Condo Sarg,<br />
"I guess I'm in the shit, big time now, eh Sarg?<br />
"Oh, I don't know mate.", said the Sarg.<br />
"What d'ya mean?" said the the Cocky.<br />
"Well, ya not completely rooted mate."<br />
"I can't see how I'm not, mate."<br />
"Look at it this way sport. You've got a broken windscreen right, so we can charge this black bastard with breakin' and entering and all that damage to the front of ya Ute, we'll charge that other bastard with willful damage to ya property. The other fuckin' bung in the table drain, up the road a' ways, we'll charge him with leavin' the scene of an accident!"<br />
<br />
"Oh fuckin' bullshit War Dog, ya yankin' mi fuckin' chain."<br />
"Nah mate, it's fair dinkum, I kid ya not!"<br />
"Who d'ya say told ya this?"<br />
"I heard it on the Bush telegraph!"<br />
<br />
As it turned out, old War Dogs story was correct. A cocky, drivin' home drunk, had fallen asleep on the way home and killed three abbos. After a lengthy trial, he was done for manslaughter, lost his license and was given a suspended sentence. Later, I heard that he was given a temporary license for driving in daylight hours so he could continue to work his property.<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4725535300199715328.post-12397099506976717782017-12-13T12:05:00.000-08:002018-03-13T19:21:09.159-07:00THE HILSTON HOTEL ~ MORE CEC IVERS ~ Part 3 © Pulling up into the back parking area, Ivers got out and said,<br />
"Burgoo, you and Reggie make sure those fuckin' toolboxes are locked and throw a tarp over the back of the Ute. I don't want these Hilston bungs nosing around and stealing mi good tools. I'm gonna' go see the Publican about cashing this check."<br />
<br />
Once that job was done, Reggie and me made our grand entrance into the bar. It was only 6 O'clock. The bar was about half-full. Ivers was nowhere to be seen. I ordered three middys and asked the barman if he'd seen Ivers.<br />
"Yeah mate, he's in the back with the boss, cashing a cheque."<br />
"That's good.", said Reggie. "I'm down to the bones of mi arse!"<br />
"Look at that Reggie, they've got a dart board over in the corner. Soon as we've had our drinks, we'll chuck a few spears.", said I.<br />
"I'm not much good at darts, Yorky mate. I can hit the board but that's about it."<br />
"Well, I'm no fucking expert mate. We'll just play for fun."<br />
<br />
We'd just finished our middys when Ivers appeared at the back room door and called us over. We passed the Publican as he walked over behind the bar.<br />
"Shut that door Reggie.", said Ivers as we walked into a small office.<br />
"Alright ya two bastards, I reckon 60 hours a piece will about do it. I've chucked in a couple of extra hours in for ya both. There's an extra hour for you Burgoo for helping load the Ute up Monday morning. Check ya money and make sure it's right. I might have given ya too much."<br />
That was Ivers attempt at making a joke. When the money was checked, I said to Ivers,<br />
"Thanks for the work Cecil."<br />
"Me too.", said Reggie.<br />
"What work?", said Ivers. "You wouldn't work in an iron lung, Burgoo, but if ya stick it out with me mate, I'll make a decent worker out of ya. That's taking into account ya handicap."<br />
"What fuckin' handicap?"<br />
"You're a bugoo spittin', pommy bastard mate! That fuckin' handicap."<br />
"Hey Cecil.", I said,<br />
"What?", he replied.<br />
"Fuck you. Your beers on the bar out there gitten' warm."<br />
"Why didn't ya fuckin' say so Pongo? I've drunk enough warm beer this week."<br />
<br />
Tonight was a great night. We all had a pocket-full of money and all night to spend it in.<br />
"Are we staying till closin' time, Ivers?", said Reggie.<br />
"We're stayin' till we get kicked out mate. Why?"<br />
"Oh, just thinkin' about pacing miself. I don't want to get pissed too early."<br />
Ivers shouted another round and said to Reggie,<br />
"Here, get this into ya mate and don't worry about it. You're in safe hands sport. I'm drivin' us home."<br />
"Were you happy with the job Cecil?", I asked.<br />
"I suppose so Burgoo, but I reckon we could have finished it in 4 days if you'd pulled ya finger out mate."<br />
"Fuck you Cecil. I worked mi fuckin' arse off on that shed. Anyway, did ya make enough money out of the job?"<br />
"I didn't do too bad Burgoo but by the time I pay mi maintenance and bills and the missus dips her hand in the pot, I'll be fuckin' broke again, come Monday."<br />
<br />
The beer flowed consistently and as the night wore on, the bar room started to fill up a bit.<br />
"Hey Burgoo, ya want a game of darts?", said Ivers." "Loser buys the next round and the winner plays Reggie."<br />
"Come on then Ivers. Don't be surprised when I beat ya."<br />
"Fuck you Burgoo! I'll wipe the fuckin' floor with you, ya pommy bastard! I'm feeling real lucking tonight."<br />
"You'd better be Cecil. Pommys are real good at darts!"<br />
"All you pommy bastards are a pack a' puftas'. That's all you're good at."<br />
"Fuck you Ivers!", I said as I picked up the best set of darts. "Nearest the bull and we'll play 301. Will you score Reggie?"<br />
"I'm not much good at numbers Yorky mate, but I'll give it a go."<br />
<br />
"Three more middys.", said Reggie. "And a couple more bags of crisps."<br />
When the barman came back with the beers, Reggie said, "Did ya forget the crisps mate?"<br />
"No mate, we don't usually sell a lot of crisps but you blokes have gone through a bloody carton-full."<br />
"Well, I guess we'll start on the peanuts then. Couple of packets will do for now."<br />
<br />
Round about this time, an old boiler (sheila), walked into the bar and sat on her own in the corner. By this time, we all had a good glow on. Ivers, who had seen the old girl said,<br />
"I think I'll go over and ask that old sheila if she wants to join us for a round."<br />
<br />
With that, he took off for the corner table. A few minutes later she was sat on a stool next to Ivers, who was ordering her a 7. She said to Reggie,<br />
"What's your name mate?"<br />
"Reggie, what's yours?"<br />
"Cheryl. What's ya mates name?<br />
"Yorky", I said. "Pleased to meet ya, love."<br />
Ivers piped up and said,<br />
"His name's Burgoo!"<br />
"What kind of a name's that?", said Cheryl.<br />
"It's a pommy name 'cause he's a Burgoo spittin' bastard!"<br />
"That's not very polite.". she said.<br />
"Ya don't have to be polite to pommys, love."<br />
"Yes, ya do. Ya should be polite to everyone."<br />
<br />
I liked this old sheila. I jumped into the conversation and said,<br />
"There ya go Cecil! What did I tell ya about being polite."<br />
"Fuck you Burgoo, nobody's talkin' to you anyway. I thought you were playin' darts?"<br />
"Ya wanat another beer love?", I asked the old girl.<br />
"Yes please, I'll have a 7"<br />
<br />
I ordered 3 more middys and a seven. I had to wait for the beer, so I decided to go for a leak. I'd downed quite a few middys by now. As I was stood at the trough, Ivers walked in and said,<br />
"Hey burgoo, are you trying to git on to that old boiler?"<br />
" Course I'm fuckin' not Ivers! She's old enough to be mi grandmother and she's near on old enough to be your mother!"<br />
"Bullshit burgoo, she ain't that old and anyway it doesn't matter. She's mine! Keep ya fuckin' eyes off her!"<br />
"Fuck you Ivers. I'm not interested in ya boiler!", I said as I headed for the door.<br />
<br />
Back in the barroom, Reggie and I played another game of darts. After Reggie fluked a game, I said to Ivers,<br />
"Your turn to play Reggie."<br />
Ivers, reluctantly, grabbed the darts off the bar and threw for a bull, whilst I ordered round for being the loser. The old sheila started chatting to me. She asked me questions about England, why I came out here at such a young age, things like that. A short while later, she excused herself and took off to the Ladies room. Ivers, who had been giving me a few dirty looks, came over after his throw.<br />
"Are you tryin' to close the womb on me, Burgoo?"<br />
"What d'ya mean Ivers? I was just tellin' her about England. She was interested."<br />
"Bullshit, Burgoo! I told ya before, she's mine! And now she's starting to get cranky with me for callin' ya Burgoo!"<br />
"Maybe you should use a few manners Cecil, then you'd be in there."<br />
"Fuck you Burgoo, I don't need any fuckin' manners. I'm gettin' along all right, as I am."<br />
"Look Cecil, we've all had a lot of grog tonight. Just relax a bit. I'm not interested in the old girl!"<br />
Ivers was gettin' quite upset now as he said the standard, "fuck you burgoo."<br />
<br />
At some stage in the evening, I lost Reggie. He was nowhere to be found. After goin' for another leak, I walked round the back of the hotel to check the Ute. Walking a bit wobbly around the corner, I found Reggie, sittin' in the passengers seat, with the door open.<br />
"Hey Reggie!", I yelled out. "Ya alright mate?"<br />
Once I got a bit closer, I could see what a stupid question it was. There was a great big puddle of chunder on the ground, between his legs.<br />
"Fuckin' hell mate, are ya crook?"<br />
"I think I'm fuckin' dyin' Yorky! I've been sneakin' a few shorts in, on the side."<br />
Looking down, I recognized the nights entertainment. Crips and peanuts floatin' on a pool of frothy, liquid.<br />
"Can I do anythin' for ya' mate?"<br />
"No mate, just leave me alone. I just need a lung full of fresh air. I'll be alright for a few more then. What's Ivers doin'?"<br />
"He's still tryin' to chat up that old sheila. He's gettin' quite argumentative."<br />
"Yeh, I noticed that before I felt crook."<br />
" Ya want to come back in mate?"<br />
"Not yet sport. I'll be in, in a few minutes, soon as I'm feelin' better."<br />
Just then, he burped and hurled another gut-full on the ground. I jumped out of the way just in time as the amber fluid splattered his boots and wooly socks. He sat there moanin' and groanin' as the steam rose up between his legs, due to the cold night air.<br />
<br />
Back in the bar, I ordered another round for miself an Ivers. The old sheila was still nursing a flat 7 ounce.<br />
"Hey Burgoo, where's that gutless fucking Reggie?"<br />
"He's outside, sat in the Ute, chucking his guts."<br />
"Jesus christ, he's not chundering on the floor of mi Ute, is he?"<br />
"No mate, but there might be a bit of overspray on the outside."<br />
"The weak piece a' shit, that'll eat mi good paint job away."<br />
"Hey Cecil, there's more dings and paint missin' off that old fuckin' Ute, ya won't even notice it!"<br />
"Fuck you Burgoo, that old Ute of mine is a real piss-cutter. She's done more work in her short life than you'll ever do in your fuckin' lifetime mate!"<br />
"You know what Cecil, I'm going to the Ladies room and then I'm going home. You're an ignorant, ill-mannered bloke! I'm sick of the way you're talking to that young fella'."<br />
"Oh come on love, don't be like that. I'm only jokin' around."<br />
"No you're not Cecil. You're takin' the piss out of him!"<br />
With that, Ivers turned to me and said,<br />
"Am I takin' the piss out of you Burgoo?"<br />
"Well, you're not exactly being decent, are ya Cecil?"<br />
"Fuck you Burgoo!"<br />
<br />
Ivers picked up his middy and tipped the rest of it down in one go. The old boiler made her exit to the Ladies room. When she was out of earshot, Ivers turned to me and said,<br />
"If I don't get a root off this old sheila tonight, I'm holding you fully responsible Burgoo and I won't be real fuckin' happy!"<br />
"If ya don't get a root Ivers, it's your own stupid fault for being so fuckin' rude. Fuck you!", I said, and rolled another smoke.<br />
When the old boiler returned, she walked up to me and said,<br />
"I don't know how ya can tolerate Cecil. He's not a very polite man, to say the least."<br />
She then turned to Ivers and said,<br />
"Thanks for the couple of beers, Cecil. I'm goin' home now."<br />
"Hang on a minute love, till I find mi keys. I'll drive ya home."<br />
"No thanks Cecil. I'll walk. I only live down the road. Besides, you're full. and I don't like drivin' with drunks.<br />
"Jesus, I'm not that fuckin' full!"<br />
"Yes you are! You need to sober up a bit before you drive back to Lake Cargelligo."<br />
Ivers was now resigned to the fact that there was not goin' to be any root for him tonight. At least not from her. She gathered up her change and smokes and said,<br />
"Good night Cecil!", as she headed for the front door.<br />
<br />
Ivers was now in a foul mood.<br />
"This is all your fault burgoo! I was makin' good headway till ya' opened ya bugoo spittin' mouth!"<br />
"Don't blame me again, Ivers. It's ya own stupid fault. Anyways, why did ya wanna' root that old sheila when you've got a decent lookin' wife at home?"<br />
"Mind ya own business bugoo and leave mi missus out a' this or I'll knock ya arse over head!"<br />
"Fuck you, Ivers.", I said, as the publican called 'Last Orders'. Anyway, it's your shout mate."<br />
<br />
Ivers was really pissed off now, as he ordered our last round.<br />
"You'd better order some stubbies, if ya want a drink on the way home."<br />
"If you're sure ya' can drive, Ivers? Ya know there's a lot of potholes and roos' on the way back to the Lake. I don't want to end up, upside down, in a fuckin' table drain!"<br />
"I can fuckin' drive drunk better than you can drive sober, any fuckin' day Burgoo. Where the fuck did Reggie go? If he's not here, he can fuckin' walk home! I'm not keen on the gutless bastard anyway. He's not a real good worker and he can't hold his grog! What kind of Aussie chucks his guts after a few middys anyway? He's shot his bolt with me, I won't be takin' him out anymore!"<br />
<br />
We made our way out to the parking lot. As we rounded the corner, Reggie was laid out on his back on the front seat. The passenger side door was still open. His legs were hung out of the doorway.<br />
"Wake up ya bastard!", yelled Ivers as he neared the Ute. "Git ya scungy, fuckin' carcass off mi drivin' seat."<br />
Ivers maneuvered the pile of puke and kicked Reggies boot!<br />
"Come on, wake up ya useless fuckin' bastard! You're a fuckin' disgrace! Even the burgoo spittin' pommy can hold more grog than you, ya fuckin' pufta! Ya really let the fuckin' side down tonight, fuckin' yobo!<br />
It took me a while to wake up Reggie, as he was totally flaked out. Eventually, he came around.<br />
The first think he said was, "Where am I!"<br />
<br />
Ivers walked over to the fence and took a piss while I roused Reggie back into the world of the living.<br />
<br />
Once we were all settled in on the bench seat, Ivers turned on the key, put her in first and slowly maneuvered the Ute around the corner, on to the main street. We headed off back to the Lake at at the break-neck speed of 30 miles an hour.<br />
"Hey Burgoo, open one of those stubbies for me.", said Ivers.<br />
"Haven't you had enough yet Cecil?", I said.<br />
"I'll decide when I've had enough, burgoo. Not you, you pommy bastard!"<br />
I opened the beer with mi tobacco tin and passed Ivers his stubbie.<br />
"Ya want one Reggie?", I asked.<br />
"Ya, good on ya Yorky. I think I need a hair of the dog."<br />
"Hair of the dog mate?", said Ivers. "Ya need ya arse kicking, ya gutless bastard. Ya let this Burgoo spitter drink ya under the table?<br />
"Here ya go Reggie. Take no notice of him mate. He's cranky 'cause he missed out on rootin' that old sheila."<br />
"It was all your fault, Burgoo. You were the one who closed the womb."<br />
"Fuck you Ivers. Ya didn't get a root 'cause you're too fuckin' ugly. That's why!"<br />
"I've had more roots than you've had hot dinners, Burgoo. You're still floggin' ya fuckin' maggot every mornin'."<br />
"Ivers, apart from your missus, you wouldn't get a fuck in a brothel with a fist full of money!"<br />
"I'll stop this fuckin' Ute in a minute and deck ya, Burgoo! How would you like that?"<br />
"Let it go Yorky.", said Reggie in a shaky voice.<br />
By this time, I had enough grog in me that my dutch courage was spilling over and out of mi mouth. I felt great!<br />
"Fuck him Reggie. I've just about had enough of the fat, ignorant fucker! He's fuckin' ugly and I'm good lookin'. Any mirror will tell ya that."<br />
"Keep it up Burgoo! I've fuckin' warned ya. I'm not gonna' tell ya again!"<br />
I was now firing on all 8 cylinders. I said to Ivers,<br />
"Go root ya boot ya ugly, fat bastard!"<br />
All of a sudden, Ivers slammed on the brakes and the Ute broad-sided to a halt at the side of the road.<br />
"Git out ya burgoo spittin bastard! I'll show you what a fat bastard I am."<br />
I had gone too far to stop now. I said to Ivers,<br />
"When was the last time you saw ya dick without a mirror on ya boot, Ivers?"<br />
<br />
Ivers blood pressure had now made his face almost crimson. This was no mean feat as it was usually weather-worn brown from working in the Outback sun.<br />
"You're a fuckin' dead man burgoo.", said Ivers, as he struggled to get out of the Ute.<br />
"Shit Yorky!", said Reggie."Ya not gonna' fight him are ya?"<br />
"Fucking oath, mate! I've had the fat fucker!"<br />
"He'll fuckin' hurt ya mate. He's a big bloke!"<br />
"He can't hurt me Reggie. I've got too many middys in me to feel it! Anyway, he's as full as a boot himself. Ya never know, I might get lucky!"<br />
"Rather you than me mate.", said Reggie as I pushed open the door.<br />
<br />
As Ivers rounded the front of the Ute, he let out a big bellow and made a lunge for me. Luckily for me, he was as full as he was. I side-stepped him and he went stumbling past .<br />
"Ya fuckin' missed me Ivers!", I said, as he turned around for another go at me.<br />
"I won't miss again, ya fuckin' bastard!", said Ivers, as he took a well-aimed blow that caught me on the side of mi head, behind mi left ear.<br />
Stumbling backwards, I lost mi footing on the loose dirt and hit the deck!<br />
"I fuckin' told ya' I'd knock ya arse over head Burgoo, ya weak piece of shit!"<br />
<br />
Now I'd gone past caring. As I got to mi feet, I threw a straight left jab at Ivers face and luckily it caught him on the left corner of his mouth. I moved back as fast as I could, which wasn't fast enough because of the amount of grog I had drunk. Ivers rubbed his lip. When he saw blood, on the back of his hand. He lunged forwards and grabbed hold of me. I decided, in mi drinken stupor, to stay in close and try to pummel his big fat guts. Right, left, right, left, right, left! I pummeled away at Ivers' gut but it didn't seem to make much difference.<br />
Just then, I felt a big pain on the side of mi face. Ivers' big hairy fist had made a connection with it and down I went like a sack of shit!<br />
"That'll teach ya to fuck with me burgoo!", he said as he walked back around the front of the Ute.<br />
The next think I knew Reggie was helping mi back up, onto mi feet,<br />
"Ya all right mate?"<br />
"Yeah mate, I'm only just gettin' started!"<br />
"Jesus, Yorky mate, let it go. the fat fuck's at least 3 stone more than you. Ya' can't win mate!"<br />
"I don't care about winning Reggie."<br />
"So why ya baiting him mate?"<br />
" 'Cause I fuckin' can. It's a matter of principle now."<br />
"You're more game than me Yorky, I'll say that for ya."<br />
"Come on you two bastards, git in the Ute before I leave ya' and you can fuckin' walk home!", said Ivers.<br />
<br />
Ivers put the Ute in gear and took off so fast, he spun the back wheels. Once he hit 30, he said,<br />
"Give us one of those stubbies, Reggie.", said Ivers.<br />
"Can ya open it Ivers?", said Reggie as he handed Ivers the stubby.<br />
"Don't be such a fuckin' ding-bat mate! I'm flat out driving with both hands, never mind one."<br />
"Burgoo, open that fuckin' stubby for me or you can git out and walk."<br />
I opened the stubby and handed it to Ivers.<br />
"Here ya go, ya fat fuck. I hope ya choke on it!"<br />
"Ha ha ha ha!, said Ivers, as he took the stubby. "I told ya I'd knock ya arse over head, burgoo. You fuckin' pommys are all a gutless pack a' bastards. Ya can't fight for shit.!"<br />
"Yer not real good yourself Ivers."<br />
"I'm better than you, burgoo! I knocked ya down."<br />
"Yeh, maybe ya did Ivers, but ya know what, ya punch like a fuckin' old sheila. Ya never even hurt me!"<br />
"I can always stop the Ute if ya want another go Burgoo."<br />
<br />
Ivers was havin' a great old time now, gloatin' and braggin' about how he knocked me over. I bided mi time and as soon as there was a lull in his bullshit and skyving, I said,<br />
"Hey Ivers."<br />
"What d'ya want burgoo?"<br />
"Would ya mind explainin' somethin' to me?"<br />
"No worries burgoo.", he said with a stupid smug look on his face.<br />
I may have been pretty full but my timing was perfect. I waited a few seconds and then said, in a very polite voice,<br />
"Alright Cecil, Please tell me how a good-lookin' woman like ya missus can let an ugly fat bastard like you, git up in the saddle of a night-time? Is she short-sighted?"<br />
Ivers slammed on the brakes again! This time we ended up sideways in the middle of the dirt road.<br />
"Oh Jesus Yorky!", said Reggie, "You must have more guts than brains!"<br />
"Fuck him!", I said as I jumped out the Ute. "I'm not finished with that fucker yet!"<br />
<br />
As Ivers walked round the front of the Ute again, I ran at him and threw a punch that landed right on his forehead. It rocked him back a foot or so and hurt mi fist in the process!<br />
"Ya fuckin' burgoo spittin' bastard!", he said. "I couldn't see ya for the fuckin' head lights. Ya fuckin' hit me, ya pommy fuckin' bastard!"<br />
"Fuck you Ivers. That'll teach ya to keep ya squinty fuckin' eyes open."<br />
<br />
No sooner we're the words out of mi mouth, he punched me so fuckin' hard, I saw stars! As I hit the deck, he jumped on top of me and started to pummel me. As soon as Reggie saw what was happening, he jumped out of the Ute and tried to drag Ivers off of me, which took quite a bit of doing. Once I regained my feet, I said to Ivers,<br />
"Fuck you Ivers, ya still didn't hurt me!"<br />
<br />
As he came at me at me again, Reggie jumped in between us and said,<br />
"I think you pair of fuck-wits have had enough. Can we go home now?"<br />
I must have caught Ivers with at least a couple of good blows, 'cause one of his eyes was quite red. When we were settled in the Ute again, Ivers said, as he pulled away,<br />
"Let me know of ya want another go, burgoo, I can keep this up all night!"<br />
Wiping the blood from mi nose, I said,<br />
"It doesn't matter how many times ya knock me arse over head Ivers, you'll never fuckin' hurt me mate, and it will never change the fact that you're a fuckin' ugly fat bastard. I'm a more handsome bloke than you'll ever be. You'll never be handsome as long as your fat fuckin' arse points to the ground!"<br />
"Ah! Shut the fuck up ya winging, pommy, fucking bastard and pass me another stubby!<br />
I opened a couple more stubbies and handed him one.<br />
"Cheers burgoo!", he said as tipped up the bottle.<br />
"Hey Cecil, I see by your face, I must have caught ya with a couple of beauties!"<br />
"Fuck you burgoo!", he said between guzzles.<br />
<br />
At long last, we made it to Gilltraps Hotel. Ivers didn't even bother to park. All he said, as I got out of the Ute, was,<br />
"I'll bring ya gear round tomorrow for ya burgoo. I'm not huntin' through the Ute tonight, it's too fuckin' late! I almost forgot to tell ya burgoo, I've got a new job starting Monday morning if ya still lookin' for work."<br />
"Pick me up at 6, on Gilltraps steps.", I said. "And don't be fuckin' late!!"<br />
<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4725535300199715328.post-58825807661470098362017-12-11T16:00:00.003-08:002020-12-23T05:47:56.137-08:00POPEYE JOHNSON, 'THE PUNISHER', MI SPARRING PARTNER © War dog, being true to his word, had spoken to the boss of the Relief Work crew. I was due to start in a couple of days. War dog was right when he said it was an easy job. Although the money wasn't great, it came in real handy.<br />
After meeting the boss, who was a decent townie bloke, he said,<br />
"You'd might as well work with ya mate War Dog seeing as ya know each other. You'll be clearing up weeds and garbage around the Lakeside, down the end of the street. Tomorrow, I'll have your crew filling in a few pot holes on the bitumen road at the other end of town just before the dirt starts."<br />
"Good on ya mate.", I said. " I appreciate the work."<br />
"No worries sport. They're lean times and anyway, it gives us permanent council blokes a chance to catch up on a bit of maintenance."<br />
<br />
At around 10 O'clock, Me and War dog were having smoko. He was telling me some of his bullshit war stories. Some of his stories were really far-fetched. Although I told him he was a bullshit artist, I drew the line at calling him a fuckin' liar, as some blokes did. In the middle of one of his stories, a tall, scrawny looking Abbo walked up and said,<br />
"G'day War dog, ya got a spare smoke I can git off ya mate?"<br />
"No, fuck you ya black bastard. I've been keeping you in smokes, since you've been on the job. If ya spent less money on that cheap, fuckin' plonk and a bit more on smokes, ya wouldn't have to be on the bite all the time!"<br />
"Yeah, ya right War dog, I'm gonna change mi ways."<br />
"Oh fuckin' bullshit Popeye, I've heard that story before."<br />
"G'day mate.", he said to me. "Ya got a spare smoke?"<br />
"I've only got rollies mate."<br />
"That'll do mate. I'm not real fussy."<br />
"That sounds right.", said War dog. "You'd smoke goanna shit if it was offered to you!"<br />
"I don't know about that.", said Popeye, having a bit of a laugh at War dogs' joke.<br />
I gave Popeye a bit of tobacco and a rolling paper.<br />
"Good on'ya mate.", he said as he rolled the ugliest smoke I'd ever seen.<br />
Once the smoke was going, he said to War dog,<br />
"I bought a packet of 'Rochmans' last night but the missus took 'em off me."<br />
"They're called fuckin' Rothmans!", said War dog. "Anyways, why'd ya let that fat, old Ginn of yours take all ya smokes?"<br />
"I didn't let her mate. She took 'em off me after she knocked mi arse over head on Shamens' Corner."<br />
"Don't tell me she knocked ya arse over head again mate!"<br />
"Yeah, I didn't even get a punch in, I was so full."<br />
<br />
Popeye turned to me and said, "What's ya name mate?"<br />
"Yorky." I offered him mi hand and said, "Good to meet ya mate. What happened to ya eye?"<br />
"The missus did that mate?"<br />
"How come?", I asked.<br />
"We were havin' a bit of a party on the river bank, out near the Mission. We were all full and I called her a black bitch. She hauled off and landed a fuckin' right on mi jaw. When I went down I hit mi face on a rock and shattered mi eye socket and this is how it healed."<br />
"Jesus Popeye, why d'ya let her knock ya around like that."<br />
"She's bigger than me mate and she's got a real bad temper when she's on the grog."<br />
"Are ya gonna' work today?", asked War dog.<br />
"Yeah, as soon as I sober up mate.", said Popeye.<br />
<br />
I felt quite sorry for Popeye. As I studied his face, I thought that I had a few emotional problems but Popeye stole the show. I filled mi tin mug with some Billy Tea that we'd just brewed and offered it to Popeye.<br />
"Have a cuppa' mate. It'll sober ya up."<br />
"Ya wouldn't happen to have any wine in ya tucker box?"<br />
"No mate, I'm not keen on plonk but I don't mind a few beers."<br />
"Beer'll do if ya got a can."<br />
"No mate, it's tea or nothing."<br />
"Alright mate, that'll have to do if ya haven't got anything stronger."<br />
<br />
Popeye stomped on the burnt-out rolley and then sat down cross-legged on the bare ground in his ratty old jeans.<br />
"Ya wouldn't have another spare smoke there would ya mate?"<br />
I stood up and pulled the tobacco out of mi pocket, as War Dog said,<br />
"Ya rooted now Yorky mate! The black bastard'll be biting ya all fuckin' day long."<br />
"No worries War Dog. I can't begrudge a bloke a smoke. Anyway mate, I've got a lot more than him in life."<br />
"Ya fuckin' won't have if ya keep that caper up cobber!"<br />
<br />
It turned out, by the end of the day old War Dog was right. Mi 2-ounce packet of Drum had now been reduced to under 1-ounce. To boot, he even bit me for two bob, till payday.<br />
<br />
That night in Giltraps' bar, War Dog was well on his way. He'd been drinkin' pretty heavy with another mate of his. After his drinking mate had gone home, he came over to where I was sitting and gave me a real good ear-bashing about giving the Abbos' money and smokes.<br />
"Once they tell their mates that you're an easy bite, Yorky, the whole fuckin' Mission will be following ya around town mate. The more ya give 'em, the more they'll take advantage of ya' good nature sport. Besides that, where's the motivation to work if you're gonna' keep 'em in money and smokes?"<br />
<br />
I thought long and hard that night about what War Dog had said. Try as I could, I couldn't see miself being as hard and rude to the Abbos' as War Dog was.<br />
<br />
One afternoon, I was sittin' in the Dagos' milk bar having a feed when a young bloke I knew, happened to walk in for a packet of smokes.<br />
"How are ya Yorky?", he said, as he walked over and sat down at my table.<br />
"Not too bad Phil. How are you mate?"<br />
"Pretty good mate. Hey Yorky, someone told me ya used to box in the tents on the showgrounds."<br />
"Yeah, that's right Phil."<br />
"What was it like?"<br />
"Not too good mate, unless you've got your own stall or side show. There's not much money in it and it's a pretty hard life. Why ya wanna' know? Ya not thinkin' of joining up are ya mate."<br />
"Shit no mate. The old man would find me and drag me off home. No mate, I'm short of a few bob and I was wondering if ya wanted to buy a decent pair of boxing gloves.<br />
"I never thought about it mate, but ya never know. Maybe I could have a bit a' fun with 'em in mi room at Giltraps."<br />
"They're a good pair. Me and mi mate had a pair a-piece. We were using them for a bit of Aussie Rules training."<br />
"Shit Phil, were ya gonna' fight ya way to a win?"<br />
"Nah Yorky, we thought a bit a' trainin' would toughen us up before this years season started."<br />
"How much ya want for 'em?"<br />
"Ya can have 'em for 5 bucks."<br />
"Alright mate, ya got a deal."<br />
"Good on ya' Yorky. That'll help me out a lot."<br />
"No worries Phil.<br />
"When d'ya wanna' git 'em?"<br />
" Can ya drop 'em off at Traps for me, tonight?"<br />
"No worries Yorky mate. Are ya' livin' at Traps?"<br />
"Yeah mate. Mi rooms number 8. If I'm not there, I'll be in the bar."<br />
"I'll drop 'em off about 7. That be alright?"<br />
"Yeah, no problem."<br />
"Ya think ya could give us the fiver now Yorky?"<br />
"Yeah, long as ya remember to bring 'em."<br />
"I won't forget mate. I'll git mi girlfriend to run mi down."<br />
Phil stuck the fiver in his pocket and left the Dagos' shop, happier than when he walked in.<br />
<br />
Walking back to Giltraps, I started making plans for what I could do with a pair of gloves. At 7 that night, I was laid on mi bed when Phil arrived with them.<br />
"I brought the gloves Yorky. Are they alright?"<br />
"They look alright to me mate. They're in pretty good shape. How many ounces are they?"<br />
"I'm not sure. The bloke I got 'em off said he thought they were 14 ounces."<br />
"Oh well, no worries Phil. I'll have a bit of fun with 'em."<br />
"Hey Yorky, I can't stay. I've gotta shoot through. Mi Sheilas' waiting for me, outside in her car."<br />
"No worries Phil. Thanks mate."<br />
"You're welcome Yorky.", he said as he closed the door behind him.<br />
<br />
As soon as Phil was gone, I put the gloves on and did a bit of shadow-boxin' in front of the dressing table mirror. I ran through a few moves that Sal had taught me in the Boxing Troupe. I was just about to take 'em off when there was a knock on the door. It opened on its' own and War Dog walked in.<br />
"What are you fuckin' up to Yorky? Where d'ya git the gloves from?"<br />
"I just bought 'em mate."<br />
"What the fuck are ya gonna do with those stupid fuckin' things!"<br />
"Oh I don't know mate. Have a bit of fun, I suppose."<br />
"I though you would have had enough of that shit on the showgrounds mate."<br />
"Here War Dog.", I said, as I pulled off the right-hand glove. "You can have the right-hander. Let's try 'em out"<br />
"Fuck you, ya pommy bastard! Ya think I'm as stupid as I look?"<br />
"Come on War Dog, be a good sport."<br />
"Fuck you, ya bastard. I'm forty fuckin' years older than you. I'd be winded after half-a-minute! Go and ask Freddy, he's more ya age and size."<br />
"Shit, good idea mate. Have ya seen him around?"<br />
"Last time I saw him he was heading for his room. I'm off to the bar for a couple of quiet ones. I've been hittin' her a bit hard the last couple of nights."<br />
"Yeah, ya looked a bit worse for wear last night."<br />
"Ya not fuckin' kidding mate. I should never have graduated to the top-shelf. I didn't know whether I was Arthur or fuckin' Martha, by the time Trap kicked me out. Huroo mate!", said War Dog as he walked out and left the door open behind him.<br />
"What about the door War Dog?", I yelled out after him.<br />
"What about it?", he said, as he disappeared into the bar room.<br />
I tied a bow in the gloves and hung 'em on the hook behind the door. I took off to Freddys' room at the end of the corridor.<br />
<br />
"Hey Freddie!", I yelled out, as I knocked on his door. "Are ya in there, mate?"<br />
"What d'ya want Yorky? I'm having a nap."<br />
"Not any more mate. Open the door!"<br />
"Come back in half-an-hour, I've only just laid down."<br />
"Open the door mate, I won't keep ya long."<br />
Begrudgingly, Freddy opened the door and I could see why he wanted a sleep. His face had a look of pain on it from too much grog,<br />
"What d'ya want Yorky mate?"<br />
" Come and see mi new boxing gloves mate. I just bought em."<br />
"Jesus fuckin' christ Yorky mate, is that all ya got me up for?"<br />
"Yeah mate, we can have a glove each and do a bit of sparring."<br />
"Are you fuckin' kidding me mate. I couldn't fight mi way out of a wet paper bag."<br />
"No worries mate. I can teach ya a bit of show boxing. It'll be fun."<br />
"It might sound like fun to you Yorky but it sounds like shit to me. I don't want to be rude mate but I'm off back to bed for a couple of hours. I'm fuckin' rooted!<br />
That being his final word, he closed the door on me with a bang.<br />
<br />
Back to mi room I went and threw miself on the squeeky old cot, resigned to the fact that the only thing that wanted to spar around with me for a bit was the shadows (and I don't mean the music group.) I hadn't been laid down long before a knock came on the door.<br />
"Who is it?", I yelled out.<br />
No answer.<br />
"Who is it?", I yelled out again.<br />
No answer.<br />
"Fuck me dead,", I said as I got up and opened the door. Soon as I opened the door, there stood the the answer to mi sparring fun. Popeye Johnson!<br />
"Popeye, how are ya mate? Come in. How've ya been."<br />
"Not too good Yorky mate. I need a hair of the dog."<br />
"Ya been on the plonk again mate?"<br />
"Yeah mate. The missus just beat me up again and took all mi money and the last of mi 'Rochmans'!"<br />
"They're called 'Rothmans', Popeye."<br />
"Yeah, 'Rochmans' I know mate. Ya got a smoke mate?"<br />
Popeye looked a bit worse for wear so I rolled him a Drum and lit it up for him.<br />
"Good on'ya mate.", said Popeye, as he puffed away on the Drum and then proceeded to cough his guts out.<br />
"Sit down Popeye before ya fall down!"<br />
Sitting on the edge of the spare bed, he said,<br />
"These rollies are fuckin' strong mate!"<br />
"Would ya like me to start smoking 'Rochmans'?", I said jokingly. "Might help with the coughing mate."<br />
"Ya got a lazy 20 cents in ya pocket I can borrow mate?"<br />
"What ya want 20 cents for?"<br />
"We're out a' petrol to git back to the Mission."<br />
"Did ya mean petrol or plonk mate?"<br />
Popeye gave me a slight grin and said,<br />
"Did I say petrol? Yeah, I meant plonk, mate."<br />
"You're already well on ya way Popeye. Anymore and you'll be full as a boot again."<br />
"She'll be right mate. I just need another glass. That'll git me back to the Mission tonight."<br />
"What ya mean 'git back to the mission?"<br />
"I'm walkin' mate. Mi missus drove back with mi cousin and they left me in town."<br />
"Don't ya usually sleep on the bench on Shamans Corner mate?"<br />
"Sometimes I do mate, but that fat, fuckin' Sargeant Monty always picks me up and throws me into the Bull wagon and it fuckin' hurts too mate."<br />
"What's it like in the lock-up Popeye?"<br />
"Not too fuckin' good mate."<br />
"How come?"<br />
"I gotta' sleep on the concrete floor and it's fuckin' cold."<br />
"Do you have to pay a fine for being drunk and disorderly?"<br />
"Yeah mate, but I never have the money."<br />
"So what happens then?"<br />
"Last time, I had to hose out the cells and weed his fuckin' garden."<br />
"Why d'ya hose the cells out mate?"<br />
"There's shit in the corners and piss on the floor."<br />
"Arent' ya allowed to go to the dunny mate?"<br />
"No fuckin' way mate. He chucks ya in when he picks ya up and you're in till mornin'."<br />
"Jesus Popeye, that's a bit fuckin' rough mate."<br />
"Yeah, I was in for 2 days, a while back."<br />
"What did ya do mate?"<br />
"I got a lucky punch in on mi missus and knocked her arse over head. First time I got one in for a while. The old Sarge picked me up for it. Ya got another smoke Yorky? I like 'Rochmans' better but a rolly will do."<br />
Handing him another smoke, he said,<br />
"Good on ya Yorky. Did ya forget about the 20 cents mate?"<br />
"Jeezus Popeye, you'll send me fuckin' broke mate."<br />
This little joke made him laugh a bit. I asked him what was so funny?<br />
"You white fellas' are all millionaires mate, how can you be broke?"<br />
"Just 'cause I've got more money than you Popeye, doesn't mean I'm a millionaire mate."<br />
"Ya gotta' have more money than me mate. I'm broke down to the bones of mi arse."<br />
"Why don't ya work Popeye?"<br />
"I did. I got fired off the Relief work for being full on the job."<br />
"Can't ya git another one?"<br />
"Are you fuckin' jokin' Yorky? There's not much work around for black fellas'."<br />
"Somebody told me ya git a government check every month?"<br />
"Yeah, but the mission boss takes it off me before I git it."<br />
"Why's that mate?"<br />
"I drank last months up and never paid mi rent."<br />
"Why d'ya do that ?"<br />
" 'Cause once I start on the plonk mate, I can't stop. Ya got that 20 cents Yorky?"<br />
"Hey, listen Popeye. I might have a little job for ya."<br />
"Do I have to work?", he asked.<br />
"No mate, this is gonna be fun. Ya know when ya git real full and ya missus knocks ya down and takes ya money and smokes?"<br />
"What about it mate?"<br />
"Alrighty, here's the deal! Every night you're in town and broke, come to mi room and I'll give ya a couple of smokes and the money for 5 ounces of plonk."<br />
"What do I have to do for it?"<br />
"You can be mi sparring partner mate."<br />
<br />
With that, I got off mi bed and took the boxing gloves off the back of the door.<br />
"I'm only any good at fighting when I'm not full.", said Popeye, as he looked at the gloves. "Where's the other pair?", he asked. " 'Cause I don't have any."<br />
"We don't need 'em mate. You have one and I'll have the other. We can take turns with the right hand one."<br />
"Just for fun?"<br />
"Yeah mate, just to fill in a bit a' time."<br />
"Alright mate, I'll do it for a 7 ounce a' plonk and 2 'Rochmans'. I don't like that Drum Tobacco, it's too strong."<br />
"I'll buy a pack of 'Rochmans' at the Dagos' shop and just so we're clear, a 7 of plonk and 2 Rothmans."<br />
"Yeah, 'Rochmans' mate.<br />
"Ya wanna start now mate?"<br />
"Nah mate, I'm not broke yet. I've got 20 cents in mi pocket so I'm off for a drink now."<br />
"You'll have 2 more smokes and another 20 cents Popeye."<br />
"She'll be right mate. I might come back later."<br />
<br />
With that, Popeye headed for the door and back along the corridor to the bar room. I decided not to go to the bar tonight. With nothing left to do for entertainment, I was forced to write a quick aerogram to mi mother, back in Yorkshire. Once I'd finished it, I took off to the post office and dropped it in the box. On the way back, Popeye and a couple of other black fellas' were arguing and shouting at each other, at the corner of Gilltraps. I tried to sneak past 'em but Popeye caught me with his one good eye. This time, I had 3 black fellas' biting me at once for 20 cents and a smoke. I had no other alternative than to say,<br />
"No, git fucked. I'm broke."<br />
The last thing I heard as I disappeared into Traps, was a slurry Abbos' voice say,<br />
"You white fellas' are all millionaires!"<br />
<br />
'I made it!', I thought as I opened the door to mi room and locked it behind me. I knew it wouldn't be long before Popeye would be knocking on mi door. I rolled a smoke and waited. True to form, five minutes later I heard his knock.<br />
"Hey mate, are ya in there?"<br />
I knew Popeye was pretty full by now so he'd be no use as a sparring partner this night. I kept quiet and ignored his constant knocking. After a few minutes, he threw in the towel and took off.<br />
<br />
At this point you've probably realized by now that a lot of grog was consumed at Gilltraps. Twitcheys' and Blackers' Hotels were not far behind. The reason for this, although not the only one, was all work and commerce was done over a couple of beers. If one did not join in the cultural pastime not much laboring work would be found. Survival would become more of a reality.<br />
<br />
"Ya want a game of pool Yorky?", said Freddy as we sat at the bar.<br />
"Yeah, why not mate. I'l put our 20 cents in line."<br />
The pool table was our only source of entertainment in the bar. Most times, there was a line-up of 5 or 6 twenty cent pieces in front of ours.<br />
"Keep a good eye out for our 20 cents.", said Freddy. "I'm off for a piss."<br />
<br />
Sometimes a 20 cent piece would go missing or jump the cue on the side of the pool table which undoubtably would start a big argument and sometimes a fight. A lot of locals would not drink at Gilltraps because it was the Abbos' favorite waterin' hole. A lot of blokes called it 'The Blood House'. There were tiles, half-way up the sides of the walls, in those days. It made it easier for the Groom to wash off the blood, in the early morning.<br />
"Are we up yet Yorky?", said Freddy, when he came back from the dunny.<br />
"Nah mate, are ya' kiddin'? There's still another 4 games to go before we're on."<br />
"How's our 20 cents?", he said as he looked across the room at the pool table.<br />
"She's still there mate. I've been watchin' it."<br />
<br />
Eventually, our turn came round. I shoved the 20 cents in the slot. The coin dropped in the metal tin on the inside of the table. We always knew when it was getting full, as the coin made a different sound when it dropped in. After we finished the game of pool we had one last round and called it quits for the evening.<br />
"I'm glad I live at Gilltraps.", said Freddy, as we walked down the short hallway.<br />
"Why, 'cause ya don't have far to walk home mate?"<br />
"Yeah, right first-time mate!"<br />
<br />
Knock, knock, knock!<br />
"Who is it?", I yelled.<br />
"It's Popeye mate.", said a voice on the other side of the door. "Let me in."<br />
"Are ya sober?", I said, before I opened it.<br />
"Yeah mate, too sober."<br />
Opening the door, I said to Popeye, "Come in quick, before Cath Gilltrap sees ya."<br />
Cath Gilltrap would not be happy if she caught Mission Abbos' visiting the rooms. Only paying Abbos' were allowed in the guests' quarters.<br />
"Ya look good.", I said to Popeye, as I closed the door behind him. "Ya not full mate?"<br />
"I'm fucking broke mate, that's why."<br />
"Hasn't ya missus got any money?"<br />
"No mate, she pissed it all away on plonk."<br />
"How ya gonna' eat till the end of the month mate?"<br />
"We're off out Roo shootin' tomorrow night."<br />
"Spotlightin'?"<br />
"Yeah, spotlightin' mate."<br />
"Don't ya use spears anymore Popeye?"<br />
"Are ya jokin' with me again mate? I can never tell with you white fellas' whether ya jokin' or not."<br />
"No, I'm fair dinkum mate."<br />
"I couldn't hit a fuckin' tree at 10 feet mate, but I'm not bad with a rifle, long as I don't get dust in mi good eye."<br />
"Can ya see out of ya dodgey eye?"<br />
"Not real good. It's pretty blurry mate."<br />
"How come you've got blue eyes?"<br />
"Mi dad was a white fella, I reckon."<br />
"What d'ya mean mate, didn't ya know him."<br />
"No way mate. I guess he snuck on to the Mission and rooted mi mum one night."<br />
"I thought white fellas' weren't allowed on the mission?"<br />
"They're not mate, unless ya git permission. Back in those days they used to sneak on after the pubs closed."<br />
"Ya know Tommy Clark, Popeye?"<br />
"Yeah mate, he's my cousin. He lives close to me. I've been fencing with him a couple a' times but that's a bastard of a job. Too fuckin' hard for me mate. Ya got a smoke mate?"<br />
"Ya remember the deal from the other night when ya were as pissed as a parrot?"<br />
"Sure do mate. A bit of friendly sparring for 2- 7s' and 3 'Rochmans'."<br />
"One 7s' and 2 Rothmans', Popeye."<br />
"Yeah, I know mate. I was just testing ya to see if you'd remembered!"<br />
Popeye grinned from ear to ear as he said, "No worries mate!"<br />
"Alright Popeye.", I said, as I untied the laces and handed one of the gloves to him. You can have the right hand and I'll use the left."<br />
"What about the laces?"<br />
"Just pull 'em up tight and tuck 'em in."<br />
<br />
Just then, there was a knock on the door. It opened before I had time to ask who it was.<br />
"What are you two pack a' bastards up to?", said War Dog, as he marched into the room.<br />
"Shut the door behind ya War Dog, in case someone sees in."<br />
"G'day mate.", said Popeye, as he sat on the spare bed with a boxing glove on his right hand.<br />
"Did ya' hurt ya' hand Popeye?", said War Dog.<br />
"Ya kiddin' me aren't ya mate? It's a fuckin' boxin' glove."<br />
"Ya ought to put the other one on as well. It'll stop ya drinkin' and floggin' ya maggot Popeye!"<br />
<br />
This little joke of War Dogs' gave Popeye a good laugh as he rolled back on the bed.<br />
"Do you white fellas' flog ya maggot?", said Popeye.<br />
" 'Course we fuckin' do! I bashed the old bishop five times this morning, before I got out a' bed."<br />
"Bullshit!", said Popeye, as he almost had a belly laugh.<br />
"Ya think I'm too fuckin' old mate?" said War Dog.<br />
"I think ya might be. Five times is a lot."<br />
"You bend over that fuckin' chair Popeye and I'll show ya how fuckin' old I am mate.", said War Dog.<br />
<br />
Popeye was not at all sure now whether War Dog was jokin' or not, so he said,<br />
"Fuck you ya' bastard!", said Popeye as he stood up in a boxers' stance, with the one boxing glove on.<br />
"He's bullshittin' ya Popeye. Take no notice of him mate."<br />
"I had ya goin' then didn't I Popeye.", said War Dog, with a big grin on his face.<br />
"Fuckin' oath mate, I thought ya were fair dinkum for a minute there."<br />
"Ya' wanna' be the referee for a few minutes War Dog?"<br />
"Might as well mate. I got fuck all else on, except bending mi elbow."<br />
<br />
Popeye and miself stood up and faced each other. War Dog announced the contenders to the imaginary audience.<br />
"Ding, Ding, Ding!", said War Dog.<br />
I threw the first punch at Popeye that caught him on the side of the face.<br />
"Not too fuckin' hard mate!", said Popeye, as he tried to back peddle in the small room.<br />
"I'm not punchin' hard Popeye. Besides that, I'm at a disadvantage. I've only got the left-hand glove."<br />
"BANG! Popeye threw a wild right that caught me a glancing blow on the forehead.<br />
"I thought ya' said, no hard hittin' mate. Ya almost knocked mi fuckin' head off.", I said.<br />
<br />
Popeye had a big grin on his face now as he knew he had landed a good blow. With more dancing around, he threw another wild punch that missed completely, which caused him to spin around and fall on the spare bed. After two, 3-minute rounds, Popeye said,<br />
"That's enough mate! I'm fuckin' rooted from too many 'Rochmans".<br />
"One more round Popeye!", I said.<br />
"No fuckin' way. I've earned mi plonk and smokes!"<br />
"Fuck you two yobos'!", said War Dog. "I'm off for a middy! You two are as crazy as parrot shit!"<br />
"Good idea.", said Popeye. "So who won?"<br />
"I reckon I'd have to call that bout a draw.", I said.<br />
Popeye grinned from ear to ear as he removed the right-hand glove.<br />
"Where's mi money for the plonk and 'Rochmans', Yorky?"<br />
"Here ya go Popeye.", I said, as I handed him enough for a glass of plonk and two Rothmans.<br />
"Can ya spare 2 more 'Rochmans' mate? Ya can take 'em off the next fight."<br />
"No way mate. If I do that, ya won't show up again."<br />
"Popeye smiled and said, "I was just bullshittin' ya mate. Good on ya.", he said, as he made a hasty exit.<br />
<br />
The deal I had struck with Popeye lasted about two weeks. That doesn't mean we sparred every night 'cause most nights he'd been on the plonk with his mates and he could hardly talk, never mind box. At these times, I'd send him away because he would get angry and abusive. On one of these occasions, he wanted to re-negotiate the deal to a half-gallon of plonk and a full pack of cigarettes. I think his mates were using him to get some grog for themselves.<br />
<br />
In the bar one night, I happened to tell War Dog about Popeye wanting a better deal and he said,<br />
"I can handle those full-blood Bungs, 'cause there's not many of 'em around and they only bite ya for 20 cents, but once they've got a bit of white fella' in 'em, the price goes up to 50 cents. Good fuckin' job they won't be around forever!"<br />
"What d'ya mean by that War Dog?"<br />
"Assimilation Mate! We'll breed the black bastards out."<br />
"I don't know what ya mean War Dog?"<br />
"Jesus Christ Yorky, don't ya know any fuckin' thing? They don't 'throw back' mate."<br />
"What does that mean?"<br />
"Fuck me Rome, Yorky! Where ya been all ya life? That's what ya git for living too long in that Pommy bastard country of yours!"<br />
"It's your round mate. You git 'em, while I go and 'siphon the python'.<br />
" What?", I said.<br />
" 'Point percy at the porcelain' mate. I'm off for a fuckin' piss. When I git back, I'll educate ya in the ways of the bush."<br />
<br />
Upon his return, War Dog took a large gulp out of the middy glass, lit up a Camel, turned on his bar stool to face me.<br />
"Yorky mate, You're a pretty good bloke for a young fella' but you've got a bit of a handicap, from being a fuckin' pommy. Now, listen to me mate", he said in an arrogant tone of voice. "Take those coons in Africa, for instance, they throw back if ya breed 'em with white fellas'. They get whiter and whiter over the years till eventually they'll have white fellas' features and white skin. At some point, these 2 whites will breed and out pops a black kid with full-on coon features! That's called 'throw-back'. The Aussie Abbos' are the only black fellas' that don't throw-back. That means, they get whiter and whiter till there's no more bung left in 'em."<br />
"Why would ya wanna' do that War Dog?"<br />
" 'Cause we're a racist pack a' bastards and we live in a racist, imperialistic country sport! Not so long back mate, way before your time, when the bungs were still living in the Bush, we rounded the bastards up and stuck 'em on a bloody Mission. Any of the pick-a-ninis that had a splash of white fella' in 'em, we drafted 'em off, scubbed 'em up good, stuck some white fellas' clothes on 'em and trucked 'em off to Sydney to be trained up as servants for those rich bastards' houses around the harbor-side."<br />
"D'ya think that's right War Dog?"<br />
"Right n' wrong got fuck all to do with it mate. I'm just givin' ya' a bit of a history lesson!"<br />
"Are you fair dinkum War Dog or are ya' bullshittin' me?"<br />
"Course I'm fair dinkum. I've got better things to do with mi time than educate you mate. I'm tellin' ya all this 'cause ya' livin' in God' own country now and ya' should know at least a bit a' fuckin' history! Empty ya glass mate, it's my shout."<br />
<br />
War Dog lit up another smoke as Gilltrap pulled a couple more middys.<br />
"At one time, according to our Imperialistic government and sanctioned by that fuckin' pommy bastard Queen of yours, black fellas' were classified as animals. If they were on ya land, ya could shoot the bastards on site!"<br />
"How can that be true War Dog, when really, it's their land."<br />
"Not any fuckin' more mate. It's ours now."<br />
"But if they weren't doing any damage, why shoot 'em?"<br />
"Sheep stealing mate. Ya think they're gonna' eat goannas and witchity grubs when there's a lump of fuckin' mutton walkin' around on four legs. Would you?"<br />
"No, I suppose not."<br />
"Right mate. You've gotta' wake up to the ways of the Bush. It's not just about faking an Aussie fuckin' accent. If ya hang around those Abbos' too much and if ya' caught talkin' to those young Ginns that hang out on the pavement in front of Traps', you'll be labeled a fuckin' Ginn-jockey and bang goes ya' fuckin' chances of gittin' on to a white sheila."<br />
"How can that be War Dog, 'cause there's a couple of townies that are married to Ginns?"<br />
"Right mate. Let me tell ya what they're in for. Soon as they get the urge to go walkabout, they'll take off when that stupid bastards' not around and leave him with a swag a' kids to look after, on his own for a couple of months. Ya' see those Mission bungs over there, in the corner of the bar mate? That's the only place they're allowed to be served."<br />
"Why's that?", I asked.<br />
"Because there's a relatively new law that says, the bastards are legally allowed in hotel bars now for a drink. Before that, they got served at the back door and drank in the parking lot."<br />
"But why keep 'em in the corner?"<br />
" 'Cause as soon as they're full and run out of money, the black bastards will be swarming around ya, slobbering and spittin' all over the place, tryin' to bite ya for a couple of dollars. All ya gotta do is look at ya' mate Popeye. I don't see ya hangin' around with him when he's full."<br />
"Yeah, but that's because he gets argumentative."<br />
"They're all the fuckin' same, those bungs. They can't hold their grog!"<br />
"Hey War Dog, have ya ever fucked a Ginn?"<br />
"Jesus Yorky mate, ya gittin' a bit personal now aren't ya?"<br />
"Well, have ya'? I'm curious what its like."<br />
"Yeah, I did once mate and it was terrible. She stunk so fuckin' bad, I had to take a shit next to her before I climbed on!"<br />
"Fuckin hell War Dog! That's fuckin' disgusting! Ya' know what mate, you're a racist, fuckin' bastard for doing that!"<br />
"Settle down Yorky mate, don't lose ya fuckin' marbles, ya pommy bastard! I'm bullshittin' ya mate. It's a fuckin' Bush joke!"<br />
"That's not even funny mate!"<br />
War Dog started to laugh and then took another gulp of his beer.<br />
"Jesus christ Yorky.", he said between laughs. "You should have seen ya' face mate! I got ya' a beaut there. I thought ya were gonna' chuck up ya' beer sport!<br />
<br />
After he stopped laughing, he said,<br />
"I've told ya before Yorky mate, You're too fuckin' naive. I'm helpin' to wise ya up mate, 'cause if ya don't, ya' not gonna' survive Bush life sport. You'll end up in the Big Smoke doing a 9-to-5'er. If that happens you'd might as well be fuckin' dead!<br />
"Don't you worry about me, War Dog. I'll survive. I'm a fuckin' hard worker."<br />
"I'll agree with ya there mate, but a bit of education and gray matter don't go astray."<br />
"It's your shout Yorky mate, then I'm off to bed."<br />
"Fuck me dead.", said War Dog, as Gilltrap put the beers down on the bar. "I'm out a' smokes. Give us a packet of Camels, Gilltap."<br />
"We're out a' Camels sport. What about Lucky Strikes? I got plenty of those."<br />
"Fuck those things mate, they'll fuckin' kill ya."<br />
"Please ya fuckin' self then.", said Gilltrap, and walked over to another school, to fill up their middys.<br />
"Ya wanna' Drum, War Dog?"<br />
"Not much fuckin' option is there? You'll have to roll it for me."<br />
"Can't ya roll mate?"<br />
"Not any more since I got this bastard, fuckin' Arthritis in mi hands. I'm flat out doin' mi fuckin' work-boots up these days."<br />
<br />
A couple of nights later, I'd just finished a days work, helping a Cocky repair some of his broken-down fences. I'd no sooner taken a shower, got dressed and was relaxing on mi bed, when a knock came on mi door.<br />
<br />
"Who is it?", I yelled. No answer came. "Who is it.", I yelled again. Still no answer. Begrudgingly, I got up. On the other side of the door stood Popeye.<br />
"Can I come in mate?"<br />
"Ya look half-full to me Popeye. I told ya not to come here unless ya sober."<br />
"No mate, no. I'm alright. I've only had a couple of beers."<br />
I decided to let him come in, in case Gilltraps missus saw him loitering around the guests rooms. Once inside, he bit me for a 'Rochmans' and a light.<br />
"Ya wanna do some sparrin' mate?", he said as he puffed away on the smoke, like he hadn't had one for a week.<br />
"Nah mate, ya not sober. You'll be too slow to move."<br />
"Bullshit Yorky mate, I'm more sober than I've been all day."<br />
"Be that as it may Popeye. that doesn't mean ya sober."<br />
"Come on mate, let's do a couple of rounds. I need the plonk and a couple a' smokes."<br />
I tried to discourage him by saying,<br />
"We don't have a referee."<br />
"Get Freddy. I just saw him walkin' into his room."<br />
"Alright Popeye, but don't complain if I catch ya with a couple of good ones."<br />
<br />
After talking to Freddy for a few minutes, I convinced him to be the referee for a couple of rounds. Back in my room, Popeye was sat on the bed where I'd left him, only now, he had the right-hand glove on.<br />
"Come on mate, I'm ready and raring to go!"<br />
"He's half cut!", said Freddy, soon as he saw Popeye.<br />
"Fuck you Freddy, I'm fit as a buck rat!"<br />
"Alright Popeye, don't say ya weren't warned.", I said.<br />
<br />
Once I had the left-hand glove on and the laces were pulled up tight, I said to Freddy,<br />
"Here mate, use the second-hand on mi alarm clock. It's easy to see. Let's just do two 2-minute rounds. He doesn't look like he'll do three minutes."<br />
"Don't ya worry about me Yorky mate. I'm good to go! Don't forget to announce me to the crowd.", said Popeye as he got up off the bed.<br />
"What the fuck is he talkin' about?", asked Freddy.<br />
"Last time we sparred, War Dog was the ref and he played his part to the hilt by announcing the contenders. Just play along mate. We'll call him 'Popeye the Punisher'."<br />
"Yeh, I like that!", said Popeye. "You can be 'Yorky, the Pommy Bastard!"<br />
"Hey, dont' git fuckin' cheeky Popeye, just 'cause ya got a couple of beers in ya."<br />
"Ring the bell Freddy. I'm good to go mate.", said Popeye.<br />
<br />
The first straight left of the fight caught Popeye on the cheek just under his good eye.<br />
"Hang on a minute mate, mi eye's watering. I can't see straight."<br />
After a few seconds, Freddy said, "Fight on!" The next left hook sent Popeye backwards onto the spare bed. It wasn't the punch that caused it. The back of Popeye's thong had caught on the rug and down he went. By now, Popeye was on his feet again. He threw a well-aimed right that caught me fair and square on the side of mi face. As I rocked backwards, I hit the dressing table and a few odds and ends went flying to the floor.<br />
"Oh! A massive right thrown by Popeye the Punisher just sent Yorky, the Pommy Bastard bouncing into the ropes!", said Freddy.<br />
Popeye was now as happy as a pig in shit as he danced around with his arms up in the air, shouting "Yeh, Yeh, Popeye the Punisher!"<br />
"Hey Popeye, I thought you said we'd be goin' easy on each other?", I said.<br />
"I am goin' easy on ya mate.", said Popeye, who was now grinning like a black Cheshire cat.<br />
"Alright Popeye, you've set the tone mate. Now it's my turn!:"<br />
"You've gotta' hit me first!", said Popeye, still grinning from ear to ear.<br />
As the last word left his mouth, I let go with a fairly hard left hook which caught Popeye fair on the chin. Down he went like a sack a' shit, hit the edge of the bed and slithered onto the carpet.<br />
"Oh! Oh!", said Freddy. "What a punch! I think Popeye the Punisher is fucked!"<br />
Freddy started to count, 1-2-3-4, Popeye struggled to his feet as Freddy said, "I think he's gonna' make the count. He's a tough black fella' this Popeye the Punisher!"<br />
<br />
Popeye was not very happy now as he regained his feet.<br />
"Yah alright Popeye?", I asked.<br />
"Fuck you, ya bastard! You said 'no hard hittin'."<br />
"Fuckin' hell Popeye, Ya didn't mind it when ya knocked me backwards!"<br />
"That was a lucky, fuckin' punch Yorky. You hit me on purpose!"<br />
"Well, we are fuckin' sparring Popeye. What d'ya expect?"<br />
"Fuck You Yorky. I'm sick a' this fuckin' game. I'm not playin' anymore."<br />
Popeye ripped off his glove and thew it on the bed in disgust.<br />
"I want mi money and 2 'Rochmans'."<br />
"No worries Popeye, but I did warn ya that you weren't sober."<br />
I handed him the money for the plonk and his two 'Rochmans'.<br />
"I thought the loser didn't get any prize money?", said Freddy.<br />
"Fuck you too, ya white bastard.", said Popeye as he headed for the door. "You're a useless fuckin' referee anyway!<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4725535300199715328.post-4463207405076939392017-12-11T10:40:00.001-08:002018-03-13T19:11:16.288-07:00POPEYE THE PROCURER Part 2 © After leaving Shamens store one afternoon, I was accosted by Popeye who had been sitting on the bench with a couple of his mates.<br />
"Yorky mate!", he said as he walked up to me. "Yah got a smoke mate?"<br />
"No mate, I left mi tobacco in the room."<br />
"No worries mate, I'll walk up to Gilltraps with you. I haven't had a smoke all day."<br />
I found it hard to refuse Popeye a smoke as I wouldn't like to be without one miself.<br />
Once I got to Traps, I said to Popeye,<br />
"Wait here, on the pavement, outside mi window. I'll pass one out for ya."<br />
"No worries boss. Hurry up will ya!"<br />
"Jesus Popeye, I don't mind givin' ya a smoke but steady on with the demands mate!"<br />
"Yeah, right. Don't be long will ya'."<br />
<br />
Popeye was a very simple man who was not hard to read. He probably thought that once in mi room, I'd close the curtains and forget about him. Sitting on mi bed, I rolled a couple of smokes. Before I had a chance to pass one out the window, there was a knock on the door.<br />
"Who is it?", I yelled. No answer.<br />
Opening the door, my suspicion was confirmed. There stood Popeye with a painful grin on his face.<br />
"I thought ya forgot about me mate."<br />
"Are you fucking kidding? You won't let me forget about ya!"<br />
"Ya got that smoke boss?"<br />
"Come in for fucks sake before Cath Gilltrap sees ya or you'll get me in the shit. By the way Popeye, I'm not ya fuckin' Boss!<br />
"Yeah, I know mate. Ya got the smoke?"<br />
Soon as I handed him him the rolly, he said,<br />
"Where's the 'Rochmans'?"<br />
"I don't have any Rothmans. I don't smoke tailor-mades. If ya don't like it, give it back. I'll smoke it."<br />
"I suppose it'll do.", he said . "Ya got a light?"<br />
"Jesus Popeye, Is there anything else I can git ya while I'm at it?"<br />
"How about 50 cents mate?"<br />
<br />
Just then, I heard mi mothers voice come out of me and say to Popeye,<br />
"You think money grows on trees? I'm not bloody Rothchilds, ya know."<br />
"Who's Rothchild?", said Popeye. "Is he a 'lation of 'Rochmans?"<br />
"No mate, he's a multi-millionaire?"<br />
"Oh, another white fella' eh?"<br />
<br />
I must admit, this little interchange with Popeye made me laugh.<br />
"What's funny mate? I wish I was a millionaire."<br />
"And what would you do if ya had a million bucks Popeye?"<br />
"I'd buy Gilltraps and fill it up with Plonk and 'Rochmans. Then I'd kick out all the white fellas and fill it up with black fellas'.<br />
"So, you wouldn't let me in for a beer mate?"<br />
"Yeah, you can come in for a beer mate but I wouldn't let War Dog in."<br />
"Why not mate? Don't ya like War Dog?"<br />
"No!"<br />
"How come?"<br />
"He's a cranky bastard when he's got too many beers in him."<br />
"So why would ya let me in Popeye? I'm a white fella."<br />
"Yeah, but you're a pommy, that's different. And you're mi mate!"<br />
<br />
I felt a small lump growing in mi throat as Popeye revealed his true feeling to me, so I immediately changed the conversation. At some point, there was a tapping on the window. I got up, opened the window and pulled the lace curtains back. Standing outside on the pavement were two young, half-cast Abbo girls. There were the same 2 girls who I'd spoken to, many times before,<br />
"What d'ya want?", I asked, as they looked around nervously.<br />
"Ya got a smoke mate?", asked the prettier one of the two.<br />
"What's in it for me?", I asked.<br />
"Nothin' mate.", said her friend. "We just want a smoke. You're Popeyes' mate arent' ya?<br />
Before I could answer, Popeye, who had heard his name being used, pushed me to the side and stuck his head out the window,<br />
"What do you two want?, he said.<br />
"What are you doing in Gilltraps rooms?", said one of the girls. "If Gilltrap catches ya, he'll call the cops on ya mate."<br />
"I'm a guest.", said Popeye, with an air of authority.<br />
"Give us a smoke mate."<br />
"I haven't got any smokes.", said Popeye.<br />
"What about plonk? Ya got any plonk?"<br />
"I haven't got any plonk either."<br />
"What about that white fella? I'll bet he's got smokes and plonk."<br />
"He hasn't got any. You better go before the Sargeant sees ya hangin' around outside here."<br />
"Fuck you Popeye.", said the not so pretty one. "Let's go mate.", she said to her friend and took off down the street.<br />
<br />
"Pull ya head in before ya git me in the shit mate." I said.<br />
"How do those two young Ginns know ya live here mate?", asked Popeye.<br />
"I've had a bit a' fun with 'em before and now they keep coming back."<br />
"Yeah, you'll never get rid of 'em, now they know you're a millionaire mate."<br />
"Do you know 'em Popeye?"<br />
"Yeah, they're mi second cousins. They live out at the Mission."<br />
"Ya think there's any chance of me gettin' a root off the pretty one?"<br />
"I don't know mate but the fat, ugly one roots."<br />
"Fuck that for a joke Popeye. I'm not that desperate mate."<br />
"I can ask her for ya, next time I see her."<br />
"Ya wanna' go and ask her now mate?"<br />
"50 cents and I'll go now."<br />
"25 cents and ya got a deal Popeye."<br />
"No mate, 50 cents or no deal."<br />
"Alright, 50 cents and I'll give it when ya get back and don't take all day!"<br />
15 minutes later, Popeye was knocking on mi door again.<br />
"Come in mate. Shut the door. How'd ya go?"<br />
"Where's mi 50 cents?"<br />
Once Popeye had the money in his hand, he said,<br />
"The best one said she doesn't go out with white fellas' and the fat ugly one said she'd give ya a root for a half-flagon and a packet of 'Rochmans'."<br />
"Fuck that for a joke mate, I'm not that hard up."<br />
"Yeah.", said Popeye. "She's not the best lookin' Ginn on the Mission but a roots' a root mate."<br />
<br />
Popeye had a bit of a giggle at his little joke and proceeded to bite me for another smoke.<br />
"Fuckin' hell Popeye, I just gave ya 50 cents. Why don't ya go and buy a pack?"<br />
"Can't do that mate. The 50 cents is for a drink and it's easier to bite you white fellas for a smoke than the money for a drink."<br />
<br />
After another giggle from Popeye, I said to him,<br />
"Ya seem a bit happier today mate."<br />
"I am mate."<br />
"How come?"<br />
"Mi missus is in the lock-up for 24 hours."<br />
"What happened?"<br />
"She got full mate and tried to get a drink at Twitcheys' place and he refused to serve her."<br />
"Why, because she was full?"<br />
"No mate, Twitchey won't serve Black Fellas', so he told her to fuck off and get the fuck out of his hotel."<br />
"What happened then?"<br />
"She told him to git fucked and called him a white, mongrel-bred bastard and refused to leave so<br />
Twitchey called the Sarg and he drove down to the hotel and dragged her out and then threw her in the back of the Bull Wagon."<br />
"Yah think she's all right mate?"<br />
"Yeah, she's been in the lock-up more times than me!"<br />
"Aren't ya worried about her?"<br />
"Not likely. If she wasn't locked up and she knew I had 50 cents, she'd have taken it off me by now."<br />
"Why d'ya let her do that Popeye?"<br />
"I told ya before mate, she's bigger than me. She waits till I'm full a' plonk and then she knocks me arse over head!"<br />
"Jesus, what a fuckin' life Popeye!"<br />
"Oh well, it's not too bad mate. Anyway, there's not much I can do to change it 'cause I'm a black fella."<br />
Popeye got up off the bed and headed for the door.<br />
"Where ya off to now mate?", I asked.<br />
"The bar for a couple of plonks!"<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com