DIALOGUE SCRIPT FOR MRS. GIBSON

MRS GIBSON
=
ONE
WISE
WOMAN

CHARACTERS:

YORKY

FREDDY

WAR DOG

MRS. GIBSON (GIBBI)

MAVIS (HEAD COOK)

CATH GILLTRAP

LOCATIONS:

GILLTRAPS HOTEL KITCHEN

GILLTRAPS HOTEL BAR

SOW PEN

PARKING LOT OF GILLTRAPS

INTERIOR OF YORKYS' CAR

LAWN OF MAVISES HOUSE

EXTERIOR OF GIBBIS' HOUSE

YORKYS ROOM IN HOTEL

Yorky is 18 years old now. He hasn't had a root..YET! But he doesn't stop trying!)    

It was a common practice at Gilltraps, on a Friday and Saturday nights, to migrate into the lounge, which was commonly known as The Sow Pen.

     The Sow Pen was a room off of the end of the bar. It had a serving hatch where one could order their beers. A juke box that played country music, like Slim Dusty, Rick and Thel and Chad Morgan, and everyones' favorite song Running Bear. Sadie the Cleaning Lady ran a close second.

     Round tables and fairly comfortable chairs were provided as the Sow Pen was furnished with women in mind, seeing as they weren't allowed in the barroom. According to that bit of strategy, women were one rung lower on the ladder, as Abbos' were now allowed to drink in the bar and drink they did. Women not being allowed in the bar was not a NSW government law. It was, more or less, a Bush law owing to the fact that blokes would get full of grog, curse and swear.

     Those days were not like today, where most people swear in mixed company. For example; women were not allowed in the shearing shed. If any woman was within earshot of the shed, some one would yell out, 'Ducks on the Pond!'

************************

     Mrs. Gibson was an Aboriginal cook who worked for Cath Gilltrap in the Hotel kitchen. She was about 50 years old and probably had 30 to 40% white fella in her. Her height was about 5'7" and she weighed around 12 stone (170 pounds).  Mrs. Gibson, who was known as Gibbi, dressed well and spoke very good english. She was also the proud mother of 5 children of various ages.

     Some mornings, when I was due to leave early for work, she would, very kindly, make me some breakfast before the scheduled time. Gilltraps dining room was nothing to write home about. Although very clean, it was more or less, one empty room with 4 dining tables plus chairs. Not wanting to sit in an empty room to eat my breakfast, Mrs. Gibson cleared a space on the over-sized  kitchen table where I could eat.

     On one particular morning, the head cook was late for work. She'd been on the grog in the Sow Pen, with her drinking mates the night before. Cath Gilltrap, who was normally even tempered and very fair, was in a stinking mood, as she rushed around the kitchen helping Gibbi with the cooking and cleaning. Eventually the head cook arrived for work 40 minutes late. No sooner had she put on her apron, Cath Gilltraps' had a piece of her.

CATH

What time d'ya call this? Ya paid to start work at 5:30.

MAVIS THE HEAD COOK

Yeah, I know.

CATH

This is not acceptable. You've been late twice already this week.

MAVIS

Yeah, 5 minutes.

CATH

How would you like it if I had added up the times that you've been late and docked it off ya pay?

MAVIS

It won't happen again.

CATH

What am I gonna' tell the guests this morning, now that the schedule is off?

 (All of a sudden and without warning, Mavis removes her apron and throws it into the large pot of lamb stew that is sitting on the stove.)

MAVIS

Ya know what Cath? Why don't ya take ya fuckin' apron and ya breakfast schedule and shove it up ya arse and while we're at it, if you ever want me to cook for ya again, I want a raise!

(She storms out and says to Mrs. Gibson as she is leaving)

See ya in the Sow Pen.

GIBBI

Well that certainly livened up the morning. 

(Gibbi to Mrs. Gilltrap.)

What are we gonna' do for a Head cook now?

CATH

 You can be the head cook, until I find a replacement.

GIBBI

Not bloody likely. I'm already working mi arse off in here, as it is.

CATH

I'll put a few extra bucks in ya wages for ya.

GIBBI

No bloody way. I've got a bad back and I'm already doing more work than I get paid for! You need to find another head cook today or there'll be no more meals cooked in this kitchen.

CATH

I'm not gonna' be able to find another cook in one day! What d'ya expect me to do?

GIBBI

Well, I suppose you'd better go round and see her.

CATH

For what?

GIBBI

Apologize for going off on her. Ya know how temperamental she is when she's had a big night on the grog. Besides, she's the best cook in the Lake. You'll never find anyone better than her.

CATH

Just do lunch and dinner for me Gibbi and I'll have some one else by tonight.

GIBBI

All right, but that's it! If you haven't got someone by the time I knock off, I won't be in tomorrow. You can let me know when you've found someone!

(Cath leaves the kitchen)

YORKY

Jeesus, what a beaut drama! So what happens now?

GIBBI

She'll have to apologize to her and ask her to come back to work.

YORKY

What if she doesn't?

GIBBI

She'll have to. That old sheila took a hotel cooking course. She's got a certificate to prove it.

YORKY

Why don't you want the job Gibbi? You'll make more money.

GIBBI

Bullshit! She'll have me doing more work for the same pay. I might be an Abbo but I'm not stupid or lazy like those mission bungs. I'm educated and I live in town. I've raised 5 good kids and they're all pretty well-educated as well!

********************

 (INT KITCHEN - NEXT MORNING) 

Yorky walks into the kitchen for breakfast, he sees Mavis, the Head Cook, in a clean apron, busying herself at the stove.)

YORKY

What happened?

(Yorky asks Mrs. Gibbi quietly)

GIBBI

Cath Gilltrap had to go round to her place and apologize and give her the raise she asked for.

YORKY

So, things are hunky-dorry now?

GIBBI

Yeah, till the next time.

*************************************

   (INT BAR - GILLTRAPS HOTEL)

 (It's Friday night and Freddy, Yorky and War Dog are in a school together at the bar, relaxing from a weeks hard work. Freddy, walks back from the dunny)

FREDDY

Hey Yorky mate, I just stuck mi head in the Sow Pen. They've got a bit of a party goin' on in there. Ya think we ought to join 'em?

YORKY

Why not mate. We'll finish this round off, then poke our noses in there and see what's happening. Ya wanna' join us War Dog?

WAR DOG

Now why the fuck would I wanna' sit in the Sow Pen with a bunch of middle-aged, fat sheilas' who are half-tanked up on grog?

FREDDY

It might be fun War Dog. Some of 'em are dancing.

WAR DOG

That sounds to me like it would be as much fun as a feed of shit mate. When are you two bastards gonna learn? If ya wanna' root, ya gotta hop in that old A55 of yours and take off to West Wyalong or Griffith. Somewhere, where nobody knows ya'!

YORKY

Very fuckin' funny War Dog. Like you're the expert at gittin' a root.

WAR DOG

Look mate, I'm no expert at gittin' a root but don't ya' think I was a young bloke once? Same as you two fuck-wits. Lake Cargelligo is a small, conservative, Bush town. Ya can't fart without the whole town knows about it. The smell wouldn't have time to leave ya strides before they were talkin'.

FREDDY

Were you a young bloke once?

(Freddy fakes a shocked look on his face.)

WAR DOG

Ya cheeky, fuckin' cunt! I'm surprised at you mate. Ya startin' to sound like this pommy bastard here. Haven't ya ever heard of respectin' ya elders?

     (The tone of War Dogs voice changes the look on Freddys' face.)

FREDDY

Can't ya take a joke War Dog? You're always tryin' to take the piss outa' me and Yorky. If ya not on at us about rootin, you're on at us about our workin' ability.

WAR DOG

And rightly so! He'll never git a root as long as his arsehole points to the ground, and you Freddy, mi old china, wouldn't work in an Iron, fuckin' lung!  Have ya forgotten mate? I'm the bloke who worked on the relief gang with ya.

FREDDY

Yeah, well fuck you War Dog. You're not such a great worker ya self. You still think manual labor is a Dago tennis star!

WAR DOG

     (This little joke of Freddys' strikes a raw nerve in War Dog.)

What am I doing, wasting mi fuckin' time sittin' here, drinkin' beer with you two disrespectful ding- bats? Fuck you two, I'm off down to Twitcheys for a beer. At least I'll git a bit of intelligent conversation there. All you two bastards ever think about is work and rootin', and not necessarily in that order!

 (The barmen walks over to Yorky, Freddy and War Dog.) 

BARMAN

Same again fellas?

WAR DOG

No, shove it up ya fuckin' tucker-shute mate!

(War Dog makes a quick exit.)

BARMAN

Jeesus fellas, ya sure riled the old bastard up tonight!

YORKY

Fuck him! He can dish it out but he can't take it. He's always the same once he's had a skin-full. Anyway, he'll have forgotten all about it by tomorrow.

BARMAN

Ya probably right mate, but don't drive any more of my customers off to Twitcheys or I'll end up down there miself, lookin' for a job!

    (The barman put 2 middys on the counter, give a wink and walks away without pickin' up the money off the bar.)

FREDDY

Jeesus Yorky, maybe you should insult War Dog more. I think the barman just shouted us!

FREDDY

Sounds alright to me Yorky mate. Let's migrate to the Sow Pen.

*************************

(INT SOW PEN)

     (Yorky and Feddy find chairs and a table and settle into a fun evening of beer and laughter. The usual songs were plugged on the juke box and everyone is enjoying themselves. Even Freddy gets up for a bit of a dance. His moves looked slightly retarded!)

     (Mrs. Gibson is, by this time, well on her way. She must have been because when some one played a slow song she says to Yorky)

GIBBI

Come on Chummy, ya pommy bastard, make an old Ginn happy, git up and dance with me.

    (Yorky notices as the night wears on, she starts pulling him in closer on the slow dances. This little action started to provoke ideas in his teenage, sex-starved brain, as he can feel her rather large breasts pushing against his chest.)

I really love a good party Chummy.

(She says as they move around in a small circle.) 

But don't get me wrong mate, I'm not an Alchy' like these black bastards, out at the mission. I'm a clean-livin' woman.

YORKY

     (After the dance finishes, Yorky and Gibbi sit at a table together, drinking their beer.)

Don't ya like the Mission Abbos, Gibbi?

GIBBI

Course I do. They're my people. How can I not?

YORKY

So why ya down on 'em.

GIBBI

I'm not down on 'em, it's their actions that I'm pissed-off with. They give all my people a bad name. Take your mate Popeye, for example. He walks around in bloody rags, 'cause he spends his money on cheap plonk. Then when he's broke down to the bones of his scrawny arse, he spends his time biting money off white fellas that have been working hard in the Bush all day! What the Aboriginal board ought to do is train 'em up to do something useful in life. That would give 'em a bit of self-respect and for the ones who refuse, kick 'em off the Mission and stick 'em back in the Bush. That'd wake 'em up.

YORKY

Don't ya put any blame on the white fellas' for stealing the land and introducing them to grog?

GIBBI

Course I bloody do. There's enough blame to go around for everyone but whinging about it hasn't done any good so far.

YORKY

What about ya kids, Gibbi? What do they identify with, black fellas or white fellas?

GIBBI

Both. And I brought them up not to be racists. There's too much of that shit around already!

YORKY

What about ya husband? Is he still alive?


GIBBI

Yeah, he works on a station, west of here.


YORKY

D'ya ever see him?

GIBBI

Yeah, when he's blind drunk. He comes around biting me for money. He's a weak-willed piece of shit. Soon as he gets a check, he'll go and piss it up against the wall with his lazy abbo mates. What bloody use is he to a woman? I'm better off without him! I raised all my kids on mi own with no bloody help from that useless bastard! Let's change the subject Chummy, I don't wanna get all pissed- off and cranky. I'm in a good mood tonight!

(Mavis, comes over to the table where Yorky and Gibbi are sitting.)

MAVIS

We're carrying the party on at our place after Traps closes, so I'm off home now to set up some tables and chairs on the lawn. You interested?

GIBBI

Too right Mavis, I'm up for anything tonight. I can't remember when I've had as good a time.

MAVIS

Well, make sure ya come and bring ya mate with ya.

GIBBI

No worries Mave, I'll be there.

Hey Chummy, have you still got that old rust bucket of yours?

YORKY

Yeah, it's out the back of Traps, parked up. I don't drive it much 'cause it uses near on as much oil as petrol.

GIBBI

Ya think it would get us the other side a' town?

YORKY

If she starts up, she will and as long as the battery's not flat.

GIBBI

Ya wanna' drive me to Mavis's place later?

YORKY

No worries. Sounds like a good plan to me.

GIBBI

That old bomb's safe isn't it?

YORKY

Yeah. It's even registered!

GIBBI

Ya ever had a fat old Ginn in the passengers seat before?

YORKY

I'm not sure what ya mean?

GIBBI

I mean me! You'd better make sure the front tires are good and solid or we'll driving on the rims.

YORKY

You're not a fat, old Ginn, Gibbi. You're a pretty good sort.

GIBBI

Ya should have seen me before I got married and dropped 5 kids! I was a pretty good sort then.

YORKY

I'm sure you were Gibbi.

(Gilltrap yells through the serving hatch)

GILLTRAP

 Last Orders! Better hurry up if ya want another

**************************

(EXT PARKING LOT)

(Yorky and Gibbi finish their drinks and make their way out to the parking area where Yorkys' car is parked.)

GIBBI

Look out!

(They stumble around, a little drunk.)

Over there in the dark!

     (It is almost impossible to see two aboriginal men, sprawled out with an empty flagon on its side between them.)

You start the car Chummy. I'm gonna call the Sergeant and tell him to come pick 'em up.

YORKY

Why would ya do that? He'll chuck 'em in the Bull Wagon and take 'em off to jail for the night!

GIBBI

Better that, then gettin' run over by some drunken Yobbo, leaving the bar!

    (Gibbi takes off back to the bar to phone Sergeant Montgomery. Yorky sets about starting up the car that hadn't been driven for a few weeks. Yorky checks the oil, and the car fires up on the third try.)

 (Gibbi returns from the bar)

 YORKY

Hop in love, we're on our way!

GIBBI

You are bloody joking! I'll be flat-out lifting up my fat, black arse onto the seat, never mind 'hopping'! I haven't hopped onto anything for the past twenty years!

(Laughter between the two)

 (Yorky carefully reverses the car out onto the street.)

YORKY

We'd better git out'a here quick Gibbi before the sergeant shows up, or depending on his mood, he may ask me why I'm driving after drinking all night!

GIBBI

Oh fuck that fat bastard Chummy. He's after black fellas' now, not white fellas. One of those mission abbos was so black he'll have to use his torch to find him in the dark.

********************

(EXT MAVIS' HOUSE.)

 (The barbecue party at Mavises' house is a roaring success. Yorky and Gibbi drink more Tinnies, eat lamb chops and steak and do their best to dance around on the lawn like a bunch of crazies.)

GIBBI

Let's go Chummy, ya pommy bastard.

(The long night has drawn to a close.)

YORKY

No worries mate. D'ya need me to help ya git ya fat black arse into the car?

GIBBI

Maybe. Let me try it on mi own first and if not we'll take one cheek apiece and load it in that way.

(Laughter between the two.)

*****************************

(INT CAR)

  (It is near dawn when they pull up in front of Gibbis' house.)

YORKY

There ya go mate. I got ya home safe and sound.

GIBBI

Hey Chummy, I've got to tell ya mate, this is the best night out I've had since, I don't know when.
Give us a bit of a kiss and cuddle and that will make my day.

     (Yorky fulfills the request. At the same time, he slowly slides his hand up the inside of her leg. He'd only got his hand halfway to the destination when it comes to an abrupt halt with her hand on top of his stopping any further progress. After a few minutes of persistence and failure at each attempt, Gibbi says)

Chummy, the front seat of this old bomb of yours is too small for what you've got in mind and I'm too fucking old and drunk to try fumbling around on the back seat, so I'll make you a deal mate! You take me on a night-out to a five star restaurant in Griffith, with a tablecloth and candles and when we get home, I'll invite you into my old humpy and ya can root me all night long! How does that sound?

YORKY

  (Yorky is quite shocked with her blunt honesty.  He gives her a good smile) 

Alright Gibbi, you're on! It's a date, as long as this oil burner can make it. I'll let you know when.


 (Gibbi clicks open the car door and after a few tries to get out she says.)

GIBBI

Well don't just sit there mate, these seats are too bloody low. Give us a hand out!

(Yorky gets out and goes to the passenger side. After a bit of effort he has her out of the car and on her feet.)

Good on ya mate.

(Gibbi wobbles off up the path to her front door.)

********************

(INT YORKYS' ROOM)

     (It is now well and truly Saturday morning as Yorky parks the car. Once inside his room, he throws himself on top of the bed and contemplates the offer that Gibbi had made him. It doesn't take long to nod off, as it's been a long night of partying. Yorky is awakened around 12 Noon by a loud knocking on the door.

YORKY

All right! All right, I'm fuckin' comin'! Hold ya bloody horses!

(He opens the door. Freddy is standing there) 

Jeesus Freddy, did ya have to knock so bloody loud?

FREDDY

Ya got a headache Yorky?

YORKY

No mate, I never get headaches but I feel like shit. I didn't git home till this morning.

Ya got any Tinnies in ya room mate?

FREDDY

No, I just finished the last one. Mi mouth tasted like the bottom of a fuckin' parrot cage when I woke up. 

YORKY

Go grab a six-pack will ya mate? Mi tongues stickin' to the roof of mi mouth. I'll fix ya up, when ya get back.

(Freddy exits to get beer and then returns. Once the cans are opened they take swigs)

YORKY

What time d'ya git home mate?

FREDDY

About 3 this morning What about you?

 YORKY

Ya beat me by a couple of hours. The sun was coming up when I laid down. I didn't even bother to take off mi good gear, by the looks of it!

FREDDY

That's not like you Yorky mate. Your room's always 10 times more tidy than mine and ya good clothes are always hung up behind the door.

YORKY

Yeah, I must have had a better night than I thought! What's the Johnny-Dorry Freddy? Did ya git any last night?

FREDDY

Well, sort of mate.

YORKY

What d'ya mean, 'sort of'? Either ya did or ya didn't. Come on mate, spill ya guts.

FREDDY

I got a ride to the party with some sheila who was related to Mavis.

YORKY

The one I saw ya dancin' with?

FREDDY

Yeah, that was probably her, mate.

YORKY

She didn't look like a bad sort.

FREDDY

Yeah, she was pretty good fun. She almost drunk me under the table. She was chuckin' it back like it was goin' out of fashion.

YORKY

Was she from the Lake?

FREDDY

Nah, she said she was from Condo. She's divorced with a couple of kids.

YORKY

How old was she?

FREDDY

I didn't ask mate but she looked about 35 or 40.

YORKY

A divorcee, with a couple of kids! Ya must have hit the jackpot?

FREDDY

Not quite mate. At the end of the night, we parked up along the lakeside and started some heavy pettin' but she wouldn't go all the way.

YORKY

How come?

FREDDY

I think she was one of those old-fashioned types that doesn't cock it up on a first date.

YORKY

So ya got nothin'?

FREDDY

Well, not exactly. She agreed to flog mi maggot and said she'd go all the way next time.

YORKY

Fuckin' hell Freddy, at least ya got something. It's more than I got.

FREDDY

Last time I saw ya Yorky, you were spinning old Mrs. Gibson around on the lawn.

YORKY

Yeah mate, that's about all that happened.

FREDDY

Don't tell me you were thinkin' of rootin' old Mrs. Gibson?

YORKY

She's not that fuckin' old mate and besides, she's a lot of fun to be with. I wasn't thinkin' about her age.

FREDDY

Ya mean 'cause she's an abbo?

YORKY

Yeah, sort of. She's not a mission abbo Freddy, she's lived in town most of her life.

FREDDY

Did ya try anythin' on with her?

YORKY

Yeah, I got mi hand half-way up her leg before she stopped me. After a few more times, she agreed to give me a root.

FREDDY

So ya hit the jackpot?

YORKY

Nah, there was a fuckin' catch to it.

FREDDY

What d'ya mean 'a catch'?

YORKY

When she stopped mi hand the last time, she said she'd make me a deal. If I take her to a 5 star restaurant in Griffith for a night out, when we get home, I could root her all night long!

FREDDY

Fair fuckin' dinkum, she said that?

YORKY

Fuckin' oath mate.

FREDDY

Are ya gonna?

YORKY

I don't know yet.

FREDDY

Ya not seriously thinkin' of takin' an abbo sheila to a posh restaurant are ya?

YORKY

Well, that's the problem I've created for miself. If I take her to a restaurant, it's bound to be full of white fellas' and their wives and ya know what that's gonna' be like. They'll be starin' at us and talkin' about us all the time we're there! I can't pretend it's mi older sister or mi auntie, can I? I'm as white as a shirt washed in New Blue Star, fuckin' OMO, in comparison to her. She's as black as the Ace of Spades!

Now, if I don't take her, she's gonna' think I'm a racist, white bastard who's ashamed to be seen with her, in a high-class restaurant, so I'm not sure what I'm gonna' do yet.

FREDDY

I know ya not askin' me mate but if I was in your position, I think I'd rather be seen as a white racist bastard than a low-life Ginn jockey. Besides, even if ya weren't rootin' the old girl, they'd imagine ya were.

YORKY

Yeah, that's what I'm thinkin'. If I don't take her after I already said I would, she'll think I'm a racist bastard, as well.

FREDDY

It's a pity she's not white?

YORKY

Why'd ya say that mate?

FREDDY

 'Cause if she was white, they'd think you were a granny-fucker, which at least, is one step up from a Ginn Jockey!

YORKY

I suppose you think that's fuckin' funny Freddy?,

(Freddy has a fit of laughter.) 

Here I am, in the shit now because mi brains were in the head of mi dick last night and all you can do is extract the urine at my expense!

FREDDY

Oh, I'm sorry for laughin' Yorky mate. It's just so fuckin' funny.


YORKY

By the way Freddy, don't you dare tell old War Dog about this fiasco or I'll never hear the end of it!

FREDDY

Well, all in all Yorky, after hearing about your night, I don't feel so bad about mine. At least I got a wank, with no strings attached!

****************************

(After discussing this predicament with Freddy,  Yorky decides not to go into Gilltraps' kitchen for an early breakfast until he can work out a good excuse for why he wouldn't be takin' Mrs. Gibson for a 5 Star meal. The excuse that keep coming up more than any other was that his old car wont make it. Once the decision is made, Yorky walks into the kitchen wearing the best smile he can, under the circumstances.)

(INT HOTEL KITCHEN)

YORKY

G'day Gibbi.

     (Gibbi is stirring a pot on the stove. She turns and faces Yorky with a smile)

GIBBI

G'day Chummy, How are ya?

YORKY

Not bad Gibbi, how are you?

GIBBI

Eggs on toast do ya this morning?

YORKY

That sounds great Gibbi. Thanks.

 (Yorky sits there at the table, all sorts of excuses are running through his mind. What throws him for a loop is the fact that she smiles at him.)

YORKY (V/O)

Maybe she still  thinks I'm still gonna' take her to a posh restaurant in Griffith? What's gonna' happen when I break the bad news to her? She'll never speak to me again.

(Gibbi puts put the eggs on toast in front of him)

GIBBI

Ya wanna' cup of tea with that Chummy?

    (She's being so kind and sweet to Yorky that he now feels like shit inside. She puts the tea down in front of Yorky and then she passes over the milk and sugar, which he could have reached himself.)

GIBBI

I think I'll have a quick cuppa' miself.

 (Gibbi pours herself a cup of tea and clears a place at the table, directly opposite Yorky.)

YORKY (V/O)

     Oh, fuck me dead, here it comes. I'm not lookin' forward to this little drama!

GIBBI

So how ya been since the party Chummy. Ya haven't been in for breakfast for a few days.

YORKY

No, I wasn't workin' Gibbi. I've been gettin' a bit of extra rest in the mornings.

GIBBI

Chummy, you and I need to have a bit of a chat about the other night.

 (Yorky almost chokes on a bit of toast at the thought of what Gibbi is going to say to him.  Gibbi still has a decent smile on her face.)

That nights' partying we did together was the best fun I've had for a long time mate. I almost felt like a young girl again.

YORKY

Oh that's great Gibbi.

(Yorky tries to hide the nervousness in his voice.)

GIBBI

Yeah Chummy, dancing with you mate made me realize what life is all about. I've been working my arse off for so many years, bringing up 5 kids on mi own that I'd forgotten all about looking after miself.

YORKY

I'm happy to hear that Gibbi and I'm glad you had fun.

GIBBI

How about you Chummy? Did you have a good time?

YORKY

Yeah, of course I did. Parties are always good fun.

GIBBI

Do you remember our little deal we talked about before I got out'a that old bomb of yours, in front of my place?

YORKY (V/O)

     Oh fuck me dead, here it comes. She'll never speak to me again after this. I've ruined a good friendship, just for feeling a bit of warm thigh!

YORKY

Yeah, well I've been meanin' to talk to you about that Gibbi....

GIBBI

Hang on a minute Chummy, I haven't finished yet. Look Chummy, you and I are real good mates and I don't wanna' hurt ya' so I'm just gonna' blurt it out. I've changed mi mind about the deal. I'm not comfortable with it. I was full of grog when I suggested it and it sounded great at the time but it's been bothering me for the past few days.  I don't wanna lead ya' on, when it's not gonna' go anywhere. I don't wanna' go to a 5 star restaurant in Griffith, and besides the place will be full of rich white fellas' and their wives. Ya can guarantee they'll be thinking, 'What's that fat old Ginn doing with that young white fella. They'll be thinking I'm a bloody cradle snatcher! I can't really pass ya off as mi cousin. Here's me, as black as the night, and here's you with skin like a pomegranate! I hope ya not too disappointed?

YORKY (V/O)

     Oh Jeesus, thank you Lord! There is a God after all! I'm off the hook and I won't come out a' this lookin' like a racist bastard!

YORKY

Well, I am a bit, Gibbi, but no worries mate. I don't wanna' hold ya to a deal ya not comfortable with.

GIBBI

That's very gentlemanly of ya Chummy. As I said, I've been worrying miself sick since I made that stupid deal. I guess it was the grog that was talking.

     (For fun, Yorky says to Gibbi,)

YORKY

I suppose a fuck's out of the question now, as well eh?

GIBBI

Well Chummy.

(Said with a big smile on her face) 

What can I tell ya' mate, No feed no fuck! Anyway, why would ya' wanna' root a big, old black-arsed Ginn like me when there's a whole world of young, white sheilas' out there that would be glad of the opportunity.


YORKY

In Lake Cargellligo, Gibbi? If ya' come across one, let me know will ya?

  (They both laugh. Cath enters kitchen)

CATH

What are you two laughing about, so early in the morning?

YORKY

Gibbi just told me a rude joke.

CATH

Mrs. Gibson, I'm surprised at you!

    (Yorky makes a quick exit.) 

****************

(INT YORKYS' ROOM )

FREDDY

So ya still takin' Mrs. Gibson for a 5 Star dinner Yorky?

YORKY

Nah mate, she dumped me. She said she was full when she made the deal.

FREDDY

Oh that's a shame. Would ya like me to give me Granny a ring? I reckon I could set ya' up there, no problem at all mate!

YORKY

Git fucked Freddy!